Author Topic: Hello routine question. (Read 18955 times)

Hulkmania · « **on:** June 06, 2020, 05:26:51 pm »

Hello everyone , thank you for letting me join the forum. I have a lot of questions , but I first want to talk about what I am going through right now I have come to the point where I have to avoid protected vaginal and anal sex and just receive oral sex. Idk how this paranoia/ phobia came to me out of nowhere, The problem right now is that every sexual encounter afterwards I have to analyze or ask myself if the condom broke ?but If the condom broke I would notice right? but what if there was tiny holes on the condom? what if there was blood from the other person? but if it was visible I would notice but what if it was just un visible that I couldn’t notice the blood? Now I’ve read a lot of the posts on this forum have helped me a lot. I know there are a lot of theoretical ways we can think of a HIV infection risk but I want to know what do you recommend? I’ve always used condoms when it comes to anal and vaginal sex. So do I keep myself just focused on the known proved ways someone can be infected ? Like unprotected sex, sharing drug injections , getting stabbed? And just stop wasting my time obsessing with all these theoretical ways that never or rarely happen? Because the risk is there ? Is just that we never seen it happened. And I have to always be careful and worried. And I’m tired of always analyzing every time I have vaginal and oral sex and this has also ruined my life by worrying when hooking up, using the bathroom , getting haircuts etc. thank you so much for answering my questions

Ptrk3 · « **Reply #1 on:** June 06, 2020, 05:47:48 pm »

Firstly, everything in life is a risk, so what matters is that every person understands how to manage risk assessment.

In terms of the HIV, here's a good place to start:

https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/hiv-transmission-risks

Remember, there is no such thing as "safe sex." But there is "safer sex." Practice it properly, and it is very unlikely that you will contract the HIV (from sex).

If you have anxiety issues, it is best to seek assistance from your healthcare provider, to help you separate rational anxiety from irrational anxiety. Perhaps some cognitive therapy would help you deal with any problems you may have with anxiety.

If you always properly use condoms for vaginal and anal sex, your chances of contracting the HIV is about as close to zero as possible.

Condoms are designed to shred if they are damaged or broken, so there is no reason for you to fret after the fact: you would know it if your condom failed.

Finally, you can always test for HIV-antibodies, if you are in situations where your anxiety gets the best of you, to assure yourself that you remain negative for HIV-antibodies.

Hulkmania · « **Reply #2 on:** June 06, 2020, 06:29:09 pm »

Thank you I agree. Now with the last question do I focus on the actual proved risks. Or do you think these theoretical risks should be taken in mind? I mean yeah I know I should becareful always But I have come to the point were these theoretical risks are becoming a worry everytime I hook up.

Jim Allen · « **Reply #3 on:** June 06, 2020, 07:26:31 pm »

I think Ptrk has already answered this.

Focus on your real risks, so practice safer sex, don't share drug rigs/syringes.

Getting stabbed is an issue for many things, it's not a realistic HIV concern though. Using the bathroom and getting your haircut is not an HIV concern.

Sorry to hear about this ongoing fear/phobia but if these irrational fears keep worsening regarding never before happened events then consider speaking to a therapist.

Here's what you need to know to avoid HIV infection:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, every time, no exceptions. Consider talking to your healthcare provider about PrEP as an additional layer of protection against HIV going forward.

Keep in mind that some sexual practices which may be described as safe in terms of HIV might still pose a risk for transmission of other far easier to acquire STI's, so please do get fully tested regularly and at least yearly for all STI's including but not limited to HIV and test more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs

Also, note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and the only way of knowing is by testing.

Kind regards

Jim

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Hulkmania · « **Reply #4 on:** June 06, 2020, 08:05:37 pm »

My recent exposure I hooked up with a sex worker I received oral sex Fellatio and everything was okay but I left my face mask and sweater on her massage bed which I’m thinking was dirty and at the end when I left I had to put on my face mask and I have a worry that I could of gotten semen or blood on my face mask from a previous guy who saw her and maybe infected myself through the nose or eyes. I know I maybe sound irrational for this worry but yea and I also was worried when I received the oral sex btw she put on a condom. And what happened was I felt a liquid from her mouth which most likely was saliva because I don’t recall seeing blood but yeah I’m worried if blood hit my wounds and burn blisters I had at the time on my arms and hand but for sure it hit my wounds and burn blisters. Now if this was to happen again in the future with vaginal fluids , blood hitting my wounds or burn blisters should I worry ?

Jim Allen · « **Reply #5 on:** June 06, 2020, 08:16:28 pm »

I read your last post three times.

No HIV risk from this event whatsoever, none!
HIV is simply not transmitted the way you fear, move on with your life.

Hulkmania · « **Reply #6 on:** June 06, 2020, 11:59:50 pm »

Thank you for helping me answering my questions. So regardless of blood, semen or vaginal fluids etc hitting wounds, cuts, blisters etc is not really a risk? This is what has made me avoid vaginal and anal sex. And I always been a person to use condom. So like you said just focus on always wearing condoms and focusing on the realistic proved ways hiv can be a risk ?

Jim Allen · « **Reply #7 on:** June 07, 2020, 02:33:20 am »

Correct.

Practice safer sex, don't share drug rigs/syringes.

Jim

Hulkmania · « **Reply #8 on:** July 13, 2020, 05:18:14 pm »

I went to go get tested std and hiv at the clinic and when I went in the room there was fresh blood on the floor and I told the nurse and he cleaned up the blood with the Clorox wipes but now I am worried that when he poked me when taking out my blood with the needle/ Syringe there was blood from the other person in the needle Because he didn’t change his gloves or maybe got some blood from the other person in his skin. I’m I at risk or is HIV fragile once exposed to air/oxygen?

Jim Allen · « **Reply #9 on:** July 13, 2020, 05:31:21 pm »

You had no HIV risk.

Not changing his gloves if that even happened is not an HIV issue regardless of what they pricked you with.

I am sorry you keep having these fears, if you continue to feel this way then perhaps you should consider talking to a therapist to help you overcome this HIV angst.

Hulkmania · « **Reply #10 on:** July 13, 2020, 06:12:55 pm »

I’m tired of this it has made me live in fear and overthink a lot, thanks for answering my questions Jim I will try my best to stop this fears.

Jim Allen · « **Reply #11 on:** July 13, 2020, 06:18:55 pm »

You're welcome.

Look sorry to hear how this irrational fear impacting your life. However, it's not something you have to face alone, talk to your doctors or a therapist about your fears so they can help you to manage them.

Take care.

Hulkmania · « **Reply #12 on:** July 13, 2020, 10:04:16 pm »

Jim last question with what happened at the clinic I need to hear it from you? Do I move on ? Hiv is fragile when out a persons body?

Hulkmania · « **Reply #13 on:** July 13, 2020, 10:08:26 pm »

Before I stop replying I wanna thank you again Jim thanks. I’m done I will stop replying take care.

Jim Allen · « **Reply #14 on:** July 14, 2020, 02:34:43 am »

You had no HIV risk from the clinic, move on with your life.

Quote from: Jim Allen on July 13, 2020, 05:31:21 pm

You had no HIV risk.

Not changing his gloves if that even happened is not an HIV issue regardless of what they pricked you with.

I am sorry you keep having these fears, if you continue to feel this way then perhaps you should consider talking to a therapist to help you overcome this HIV angst.

Hulkmania · « **Reply #15 on:** September 28, 2020, 02:41:43 pm »

Hello. I have a question I know I been told before to seek help with a professional because of anxiety. But I recently blacked out when drinking alcohol I remember some events that happened i did not black out for the whole night But I always find a reason to test every month or 2 months and I know that’s not how is got to be. Now I have this worry that I should of taken PEP, but if someone would of taken advantage of me while blacked out wouldn’t I have felt it the next day? I’m heterosexual and never being a receiver through anal so I know for sure if something would of happened I would of felt soreness or pain waking up the next day. Now my question is, is it recommended to take PEP after a alcohol black out night? Or I’m i just overthinking?

Jim Allen · « **Reply #16 on:** September 28, 2020, 02:45:52 pm »

You're overthinking this.

If you had told me you went home with a guy and passed out during sex I would say sure maybe consider PEP.

However, passing out from being out on the piss in 99.99% of the cases does not require PEP. I'll spare you the drink less speech.

Jim

Hulkmania · « **Reply #17 on:** September 28, 2020, 02:57:36 pm »

Thanks Jim for always being there answering my questions. I think is the fear of me blacking out having no memory scares me and I’m always just thinking what if someone took advantage of me or had a quickie with me. Etc but is true I’m just overthinking creating all these what if this what if that....

Jim Allen · « **Reply #18 on:** September 28, 2020, 03:01:13 pm »

You're welcome.

The merry-go-round of testing you mentioned is also obviously not a helpful coping strategy. It's out of kindness when I say, if you continue to feel this way then perhaps consider talking to a therapist to help you overcome this HIV angst.

Best, Jim

Hulkmania · « **Reply #19 on:** September 28, 2020, 03:07:52 pm »

Yes I’m always testing once a month or once every 2 months. So what do you recommend me to do? I always use condoms with every woman I hook up with. Should I test every 3 months? Is that fine or is that also too much ?

Jim Allen · « **Reply #20 on:** September 28, 2020, 03:17:06 pm »

Look, it's great you have access to care that you can test more often.

However, considering even testing causes you angst and, you are engaging only in vaginal intercourse using condoms, testing once a year out of routine would be fine.

Hulkmania · « **Reply #21 on:** September 28, 2020, 03:27:55 pm »

Thank you so much Jim that’s True, I was testing to much that it was causing anxiety.
Now last thing. I’m not an alcoholic but obviously when having a great time with friends , bar, club etc. I sometimes black out I know In general we should all be careful with blacking out and is very embarrassing doing goofy things while intoxicated , but in the future if this happens again should I stop worrying about Hiv and not get obsessed with PEP? Or like you said unless I have real evidence, (like waking up next to someone ) then do get PEP? But yes I will do my best not to drink so fast again till I Black out.

Jim Allen · « **Reply #22 on:** September 28, 2020, 03:32:59 pm »

Hiya,

My previous answer already answers this.

Quote from: Jim Allen on September 28, 2020, 02:45:52 pm

You're overthinking this.

If you had told me you went home with a guy and passed out during sex I would say sure maybe consider PEP.

However, passing out from being out on the piss in 99.99% of the cases does not require PEP. I'll spare you the drink less speech.

Jim

Hulkmania · « **Reply #23 on:** September 28, 2020, 03:36:05 pm »

Thank you Jim. I will do my best to relax with this anxiety thank you have a great day.

Jim Allen · « **Reply #24 on:** September 28, 2020, 03:55:38 pm »

You're welcome.

Hulkmania · « **Reply #25 on:** October 30, 2020, 02:15:03 pm »

Hello Jim how you been? New question. But first I want to tell you I been able to control my anxious mind a little bit better. But my question after hooking up vaginal sex with condom on, do I need to check condom everytime after each hook up,if it’s in good condition or if it’s broken ? I been trying to hook up more with women I’ve met lately but I don’t know, my mind finds new fears to avoid hook ups. And sex is an important part of life and nature. What do I do.

Jim Allen · « **Reply #26 on:** October 30, 2020, 05:04:58 pm »

Hiya,

No need or way to check condoms. HIV can't transmit through an intact latex or polyurethane condom. If a condom fails during the act of intercourse it's obvious. There is no reason to be stressing or testing outside of standard routine as long as this obvious issue did not happen.

Best, Jim

Hulkmania · « **Reply #27 on:** October 30, 2020, 06:03:33 pm »

Okay thank you Jim. Are SKYN Condoms good to use polyisoprene?

Jim Allen · « **Reply #28 on:** October 30, 2020, 10:57:57 pm »

Hulkmania · « **Reply #29 on:** November 01, 2020, 11:32:18 am »

One more question Jim since sucking a woman’s breasts is a habit to me. Is There a risk if she has milk because you know how some women have milk in their breasts, regardless if breastfeeding or not, some women have milk I don’t know why. But yea would it be a risk if I have open cuts inside mouth and lip cuts and cold sores etc ?

Jim Allen · « **Reply #30 on:** November 01, 2020, 11:36:20 am »

No HIV risk to you whatsoever, the condition of your mouth would be totally irrelevant.

Hulkmania · « **Reply #31 on:** November 01, 2020, 11:41:16 am »

Same for giving unprotected oral sex analingus and cunnilingus to woman?

Jim Allen · « **Reply #32 on:** November 01, 2020, 11:53:15 am »

So much for one more question ...

Look about women lactating for whatever reason, the only time it's a concern is if you are a breastfeeding infant, as it's ingested by the infant in quantity who have underdeveloped tissue and immune systems. The entire mechanics of breastfeeding HIV transmission means at its peak for an infant via oral digestion with their underdeveloped immune system, and developing tissue the transmission is about 0.00064 per litre of breast milk ingested

You, on the other hand, are an adult, you also did not ingest a litre of fluid, your saliva is hostile towards HIV, you have an adult immune system and your mouth generally lacks the cells (route) for HIV to infect, not that it matters. So you do not even have a 0.00064 risk per litre, you had none, not even theoretical, simply no HIV risk. Now I could go on but I think you get the picture

Quote from: Hulkmania on November 01, 2020, 11:41:16 am

Same for giving unprotected oral sex analingus and cunnilingus to woman?

No HIV risk to you either.

To avoid more "oral" questions, let's keep this simple. The only oral sex that would be any risk to you is if you give a guy a blowjob, and even that would be such a minute risk that it would not warrant testing outside of standard yearly screening.

Stop asking oral HIV questions!

Best, Jim

Hulkmania · « **Reply #33 on:** November 01, 2020, 12:05:58 pm »

Thank you my friend Jim, have a great day.

Hulkmania · « **Reply #34 on:** November 03, 2020, 04:22:46 pm »

Hey Jim? I’m overthinking, just please explain to me, so regardless if I have open cuts, sores etc inside my mouth or lips there is no risk for my mouth? when I go Down on a woman cunnilingus or anus, or sucking breasts /nipples, but let’s say it’s blood my mouth gets exposed to? Like you said is not like I’m drinking swallowing a liter or gallon of these fluids. This will be the last time I ask these oral questions Jim. I’ll get out of overthinking and stop talking about this oral sex topic thank you.

Jim Allen · « **Reply #35 on:** November 03, 2020, 04:43:23 pm »

Quote

To avoid more "oral" questions, let's keep this simple. The only oral sex that would be any risk to you is if you give a guy a blowjob, and even that would be such a minute risk that it would not warrant testing outside of standard yearly screening.

Stop asking oral HIV questions!

If you keep asking about things that have already been answered and/or seeking new never before happened ways for HIV to transmit it's going to lead to a ban.

Jim

Hulkmania · « **Reply #36 on:** November 03, 2020, 04:51:30 pm »

Is just I’m tired of after a hook up always analyzing if I had tasted blood in my mouth. Or If I had open cuts at the time. My overthinking is real bad. I will stop with this oral topic. Thank you my friend Jim.

Hulkmania · « **Reply #37 on:** March 29, 2021, 07:43:34 pm »

Hey Jim, how you been? I did control my anxiety with all the overthinking I was doing. I want to thank you once again. I recently went for a insti hiv finger prick test. I read from the questions you’ve answered even if the lancet is used again, there is no risk. Now my only question is does it matter what type of lancet for example how some lancets the needle sticks out and some different lancet that look like pens the needle sticks out when poking and then goes back inside , Is all this no risk ? The type of lancet does not matter ?

Jim Allen · « **Reply #38 on:** March 29, 2021, 11:19:34 pm »

The type does not matter, for several reasons, it's not an HIV risk to you.

Hulkmania · « **Reply #39 on:** March 30, 2021, 01:45:52 pm »

Okay, I was overthinking if I got poked with a used lancet with blood from another person.

Hulkmania · « **Reply #40 on:** March 30, 2021, 01:49:38 pm »

So just keep it the same? Focus on not having unprotected sex and no sharing syringes ? No what if’s and no overthinking of new ways.

Jim Allen · « **Reply #41 on:** March 30, 2021, 02:15:54 pm »

Yup. Use condoms, don't share syringes, test yearly out of routine.

Hulkmania · « **Reply #42 on:** March 31, 2021, 10:33:07 pm »

Hey Jim. I got 2 questions I am a little confused.
1. If a used syringe has someone else’s blood only in the needle part and barrel syringe body has no blood let’s say that part is new, does air oxygen enter through the needle part and there is no risk if injecting ?
2. Almost the same question here let’s say the syringe body the barrel part is used and have someone else’s blood now injecting like this, is a risk right? Because the barrel keeps it in a same temperature? Oxygen is not able to enter the barrel part of the syringe? I ask because I don’t really understand the injecting risk is a little confusing.

Jim Allen · « **Reply #43 on:** April 01, 2021, 03:27:28 am »

In short, the reason sharing syringes is a blood risk is it's directly injecting a quantity of blood (backwash) into the bloodstream that has been short term stored in what is in essence a vacuum.

I'm not going to get deeper into the how and what of sharing syringes. My advice is simple if you are using drugs avoid sharing sharps, test frequently.

A sharp object, needle, lancet or pin as examples on the other hand are nothing like this, there is no backwash stored in a vacuum and no more than a drop of blood that is exposed to the environment. This is also why a discarded syringe in the community setting has never resulted in HIV transmission.

Hulkmania · « **Reply #44 on:** April 01, 2021, 02:41:51 pm »

Okay I get it now, lately I been feeling like is my obligation to check if everything is perfect at the clinic or hospital when I get std tested. And it gets me anxious I was doing good out of nowhere is like I have to check the room, tables etc, and I get worried if medical professionals makes a mistake or unprofessional behavior while taking out blood for tests or when getting vaccines. You know what I mean?.

Jim Allen · « **Reply #45 on:** April 01, 2021, 02:48:11 pm »

Look try to relax.

I am sorry to read that you have these ongoing fears. If you keep having these concerns you may want to consider talking to someone like a therapist (Covid permitting) to help you cope.

Just use condoms, consider PrEP, don't share drug rigs/syringes and test yearly for STI's & HIV.

Jim.

Hulkmania · « **Reply #46 on:** April 01, 2021, 02:54:16 pm »

Jim thank you for always answering my questions. Is time to stop this fears and all the overthinking.

Jim Allen · « **Reply #47 on:** April 01, 2021, 03:21:46 pm »

You're welcome.

Hulkmania · « **Reply #48 on:** June 03, 2021, 08:10:10 am »

Hey Jim how you been? I have a question for you. I got totally blackout drunk Sunday night/ Monday midnight black out for like 4 or 5 hours. Yes I know I for sure have a problem with alcohol I can’t stop drinking once Im having a good time. So what happened is my friend told me I approached sex workers but he told me I didn’t do anything with them. He said they left I did not have sexual intercourse. Now I have no memory of anything that happened that night. Just to make sure you wouldn’t recommend me getting Pep right?

Jim Allen · « **Reply #49 on:** June 03, 2021, 08:28:23 am »

Hiya.

Well PEP would have to start within 72 hours of any possible exposure. You said Sunday, so I suspect you are already past it that timeframe.

Quote

I got totally blackout drunk Sunday night/ Monday midnight black out for like 4 or 5 hours. Yes I know I for sure have a problem with alcohol I can’t stop drinking once Im having a good time. So what happened is my friend told me I approached sex workers but he told me I didn’t do anything with them.

You also can't recall any sex, but if you suspect you had condomless intercourse then test to know your HIV status. Not much more I can say as you can't tell me what happened.

Test with a blood-drawn HIV antibodies test at 6 weeks, a negative result at that time will rarely ever change. Now although not needed, if you wish you can re-test at 3 months, for a conclusive result and peace of mind.

I'll spare you the speech about alcohol.

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Author Topic: Hello routine question. (Read 18955 times)