Hello JPinLA...
It is unfortunate that you have tested positive for HIV. Due to the shock and other concerns that are evident, you will have a mixture of different emotions running through you. When you shut down, that is the time where your mind is processing and digesting all that has occurred at this point in your life. Spending time with yourself helps you to sort things out and to address the areas that are most concern to you.
You have your BF which is your rock. It is GOOD that you have him for unconditional love, support, understanding, and communication. It takes time for this to be absorbed. I only want to encourage you that it will. Acceptance is a major factor in all of this. When you reach this point you will know. In the mean time, try to stay as calm as possible, keep your stress levels down and monitor your current health. Anxiety causes physical and mental symptoms just as well. May I reassure you that you are still in control of your life.
In my own way, I wish to extend to you a WARM WELCOME here at the AM forums. Here you will find the encouragement, communication, understanding, support, some cries, some laughter, and many of your questions relating to HIV/AIDS answered.
The Handshake Of Reassurance
(http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o134/forfun_06/FriendshipHandshake.jpg)
We have a great group of Real People who will listen as well as answer you. We are here to Encourage, Learn, and Help one another as we all walk on our journey in this life.
With the consideration of implementing a Positive Mental Attitude, it will also assist you on your journey in this life as well as having a Positive Impact on your immune system and your overall health.
In fact, through your Positive Mental Attitude, it will help you push forward through ALL of the obstacles on your path that you are now walking on.
Talking and sharing our experiences with other people helps us see that we are not the only ones with problems. Feel free to come and vent with whatever is on your mind from time-to-time.
Often the act of writing and the ability to “SEE” your feelings leads to therapeutic insights and solutions..
In the interim, you may want to start taking a multi-vitamin, and some Omega 3, because it is all up to YOU where YOU want to be.
Exercise at least three times per week for a minimum of 30 minutes per day, as this will do you good to help keep that unnecessary stress away.
"Don't Give Up, Don't Give In... Cause it is ALL within you to WIN!"