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Any risk at all?

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Hello. I am pleased to have come across this forum because I havenít got anybody I can share all my worry with.

I (Male, 19) had a recent encounter with another male. From the encounter I have the following concerns:

1) Kissing - we engaged in what you might call deep kissing for around 10 seconds. It wasnít so much tongue but more lip sucking kisses. Initially I wasnít worried about this but I read on healthline that HIV transmission is possible if blood is present. I am susceptible to bleeding gums and about 45 minutes before my encounter I had brushed my teeth so it is very possible I had abrasions on my gums.

2) Whilst we kissed, my sexual partner started rubbing his penis against my underwear (in between my buttocks). Without any notice he suddenly ejaculated and I got a small amount of semen on one of my thighs. Again, so many websites out there seem to suggest in the presence of any cuts that transmission may be possible. I have inspected my thighs and cannot see any cuts but I do occasionally get ingrown hairs around my thighs... could this be a possible route for transmission?

I felt fine until I googled causes of HIV, and I subsequently went on PEP within 14 hours of the event. This has cost me just over Ä400 and I am wondering if I am being overly cautious and have wasted my money.


Jim Allen:

What you posted isn't an HIV risk. Relax and move on with your life.

Here's what you need to know to avoid HIV infection:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, every time, no exceptions. Consider talking to your healthcare provider about PrEP in the future as an additional layer of HIV protection

Keep in mind that some sexual practices described as Ďsafeí in terms of HIV transmission might still pose a risk for transmission of other STI's, so please do get tested regularly and at least yearly for all STI's including but not limited to HIV and test more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs

Also, note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and, the only way of knowing is by testing.

Kind regards


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I appreciate your response Jim.

Iím feeling so confused about the amount of conflicting information on the internet. For example, states the following:

Kissing as a risk: Deep, open-mouth kissing if both partners have sores or bleeding gums and blood from the HIV-positive partner gets into the bloodstream of the HIV-negative partner.

Should I disregard this type of information then? It is possible that I may have had small sores on my gums due to brushing my teeth. Even though I started PEP within 16 hours I am convinced there is a risk, albeit small - thanks to Dr. Google. Also, itís been 8 days since this encounter and Iím starting to develop a tickly cough and sore/dry throat...

Jim Allen:
See, it does not surprise me when I hear things like that (Only) 88.6% of people know kissing incl. Deep kissing does not pass on HIV*, considering all the CYA (Cover your ass) and outdated or context less rubbish online.

Thankfully we live in the post HAART era (1995) with a clear understanding of how HIV is not transmitted, and with that, myths and BS, including kissing & bleeding gums, were busted.

Kissing is not an HIV risk. There are no confirmed cases and if you want to believe "what ifs" so theoretical but never actually happened in the real world, then if bleeding, it would have to be in large quantity, pure, and you would need extensive activity open bleeding wounds of your own.

To give some context, if your partner had been beaten to a bloody pulp, and you had a knife wound to the mouth pissing out blood and, you decided to make out instead of seeking urgent medical attention, I would say you might have a theoretical risk but to still move on with your life.

I presume neither of you needed medical attention for your kissing? You would have mentioned having been covered in blood already and visiting ER, so you simply had no risk. Not even theoretical.

If kissing were a risk in any shape or form, we would know about it and half the worlds population would be HIV positive, and on the flip side, HIV would not be as stigmatized as it currently is.


*) The EMIS Network. EMIS-2017 Ė The European Men-Who-Have-Sex-With-Men Internet Survey. Key findings from 50 countries. Stockholm: European Centre for Disease Prevention and Control; 2019.

Hi, 42 days ago I (20m) engaged in gay sex. I kissed (3 minutes) > frotted (1 minute) > gave unprotected oral 3 minutes > received anal with a condom + a lot of lube and my partner did NOT ejaculate (7 minutes) > received unprotected oral (5 minutes) > gave anal with a condom + a lot of lube (4 minutes) > I ejaculated inside the condom and it seemed intact when I pulled out.

The guy was of unknown status and off Grindr. I realized my mistake the day after and got PEP (finished it 14 days ago) + a STD test. Today I received my STD results and I found out I have gonorrhea.

All of this has me very stressed out about HIV and I canít wait another 4-5 months to get conclusive results. My questions areÖ

1) How likely am I to contract HIV from my situation?
2) Does having gonorrhea mean I was at an increased risk of getting HIV?
3) Is 90 days post sex conclusive results or do I have to wait 6 months?


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