POZ Community Forums
HIV Prevention and Testing => Do I Have HIV? => Topic started by: Nervewrecked26 on October 13, 2007, 10:20:00 am
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Hello everyone well he'res my story, I recently started dated a beautiful women friend of mine and we've been together for 4 weeks now and we decided to have sex, protected of course now she has been with other partners as she has told me, and said shes been protected, personally i dont trust anyone but God, so we had sex last weekend I used a condom, it was pretty brief due to the fact that we were in my parents house and scared of being caught, now I know condoms have been proven to be very effective but I was reading through alllll the posts here on the ''am i infected section'' and found one post about a certain individual who said he put water inside his condom after he was done to check it and saw a tiny hole with water coming out it. When i read that i sorta started getting nervous... now i know you will definitely feel a condom break when it does and i was almst sure mines didnt nor did it slipp off, but what about that tiny hole? i mean arent condoms tested and ran through some tests before there sealed and put to sale??. I'm a little nervous can someone please clarify and should I test?.
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Nerve,
Condoms have been proven to prevent hiv infection when used correctly and consistently for anal or vaginal intercourse.
Condoms do not develop "tiny holes", despite what some hysterical, worried poster may have written in this forum. When condoms break, they do so in a very noticeable way. When condoms are used correctly, they RARELY break.
Make sure you read through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you know how to use them.
You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.
Although you do not need to test over this specific incident, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.
If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!
Ann
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Thank you for your comforting response mam ;). So by that said Hiv doesnt leap into tiny holes correct??. I mean if i finished with her and the condom was still on and it didnt look like it was hogtied around my shaft only i should be fine?. And I have not had unprotected intercourse for years and i tested this past december and i was neg. I was also afraid because I heard condoms break easily? but i guess thats if people keep using them wrong or putting 2 on at the time. I've never had one break on me personally but i wonder if you can really feel it broken and notice the differecne while youre having sex??. I just noticed over the years that HIV is not as easy to transmit as everyone thinks which is also sort of a relief but it still worries me.
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Nerve,
When a condom breaks, it is very obvious and you'd know.
As I told you, read all three links in my signature line for more information about condoms. I see no reason to type out answers that are already provided for you. Get clicking and reading. The first link even has a video you can watch.
Your condom remained intact and you did not have a risk for hiv infection. Condoms prevent hiv transmission.
Ann
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Thank you Ann, I wanted to ask you something. Its off the topic i just like to be informed and educated on everything ;D. I was reading a topic where you were speaking to an individual who resides in LA i believe about NAT testing but i never saw mr Tim horns response about it i was just curious because here in Chipley,fl they are also talking about how effective that test is only that its expensive but statisitcs have showed it to be highly effective with all the studies of catching HIV or hepatitis during transfusions or blood donations. Heres the link of the convo between you two.
http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=3782.0
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Nerve?
What are you asking? The thread is pretty much self-explanatory and didn't really need Tim Horn's input.
You certainly don't need NAT testing anyway - and you won't as long as you keep using condoms correctly and consistently.
If you want to know more about testing, read the Welcome Thread (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=220.0) and follow the Lesson links provided.
Ann
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Okie doke sorry for bugging. good day.
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Hello ann oh and yea i had forgotten to add my question in there lol i just noticed. It was just that i let my girl open the condom, and i read through the links and how to use condoms and it said careful to not break when opening and i didnt see her opening it i was busy getting undressed lol ;D. So my question was what if she might of ripped a little piece of or something??. But i guess im just deep thinking here. Plus i am uncircumsized, normally when iam erected my foreskin pulls itself back its something that ive done since i was little. I was so afraid was even going to go a private clinic here in Chipley and pay tons of cash$$$$ for the new FDA approved NAT test you were discussing with that other poster. But you've eased my fears so im better now. I hope that someday even though its expensive they eventually allow that test to be used, its such a relief knowing that you wouldnt have to wait monthssss for antibodies rather then just indentify the proteins and genes of the virus itself, and start early treatment. Sorry to be such a pest here i just dont want to catch something and then give it to someone else, with that said I guess its safe to say i can contiue having sex with no problem??? ;D thanks for your help this is such a wonderful website.
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Nerve,
If there was a problem with the condom because of how the packet was opened, YOU'D KNOW! Re-read your thread until you "get it" - you didn't have a risk.
Ann
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Yea...I understand It's soo hard to not worry about..i was sorta feeling guilty now and not wanting to have sex with anyone else fearing...but youre right i guess i need to keep reading my thread to convince my mind lol ;D....its such a powerful thing...
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Why do people say they were protected and still tested poz? damn thats something that scares the hell out of people. Be honest and admit what you did geez..sorry guys that just gets me mad... :-\.
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Well Nerve,
Many newly diagnosed people have a great deal of difficulty coming to terms with their infection. HIV is shrouded by stigma because it's sexually transmitted. I mean you're seeking anonymous advice on the internet. If HIV was no big deal, you wouldn't be here -- you'd be annoying your doctor.
And as we all know people lie when it comes to their sexual behaviours. I know I have and I'm sure you have to. If you say you don't I'll just call you a liar anyways.
Many newly diagnosed people genuinely believe that they were infected through non-risk behaviours even though that's not possible. Perhaps they were affected by drugs and alcohol when they contracted HIV and can't remember everything they did. Maybe they're just so guilty and distressed that they refuse to admit even to themselves what really happened.
It's complicated stuff.
In any event none of this need concern you and you have no cause to be getting angry with the newly diagnosed. Just worry about yourself and stay out of the poz only forums.
Y'hear?
MtD
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I'll just tag on to what Matty told you and say, "Mind your own business." What others say is totally irrelevant. By the way, I doubt very much if you are sprouting any angel wings.
Just concentrate on your own sexual behavior which means especially making certain that if and when you have vaginal or anal intercourse you are always without exception wearing a condom. Every time you have safer sex you're not only taking care of your own health, you are also contributing to not allowing the HIV epidemic to go any further.
As for what others say and do, like I said, mind your own business and keep your stall in order.
Cheers,
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Well you guys are right about staying away from there and thats what exactly what i am doing. As far as lying about sexual activity we all do of course thats true. But I sure as hell havent lied about the story i am telling you guys. Theres no point in being dishonest if youre gonna hear an answer thats not true. Then whats the point of trying to put a nail on your situation if you re gonna lie to the people you want advice from...thats my opinion. But any how i wasnt drunk , i used a condom the sex was like 10-15 i nutted pulled out the condom and thats where i stand and from there on I just went with what you experts think........I am just afraid because this girl i am dating has been around and SHE TOLD me that because we both wanted an honest relationship . She told me shes tested before but i STILL used a condom. Things arent really working out anyways. But aside from that like you guys also said just worry about myself and assume every person i sleep with is + just to be safe. Last time I tested was this past april and prior to that i hadnt had sex sex for a whileeeeeee.
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matty by the way do u ever get on aim i was trying to IM you
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matty by the way do u ever get on aim i was trying to IM you
Well don't bother. I don't want to talk to you outside of this thread. Just because I'm civil to you in this forum doesn't mean I'm your friend or that I even want to get to know you.
And don't PM me either.
MtD
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....Damn do you have to be that mean.... :-[. i don't why youre jumping at me sorry for asking geez....
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Nerve,
We don't encourage interaction outside this forum. If we talked to everyone who wanted to talk outside, we wouldn't have time for anything else in our lives. While we're on the subject, please read this thread. (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=7363.0)
Thank you for your cooperation.
Ann
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I understand Ann and thanks for not being sooo rude as others might be. I wasnt snooping around on the Poz as mr(bad atittude) matty the damned claimed.That last poster who i had copied the linkwas saying that he had heard people saying something about that they thought theyy played it safe. so that startled me.But i will keep all of my postings here and cooperate thanks a mill!. Its just hard for me because im nervous about these things thats all i dont mean any harm...just a concerned young man. I read the thread thanks.
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Nerve,
If you're having this much difficulty with your anxiety, I suggest you seek out counseling where you can learn how to cope with having a sex life. We can't help you with that here.
You used a condom and you were not at risk. You're getting perilously close to being timed out for repetitive posting over a no-risk situation.
Ann
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Understood.
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Nerve,
By the way, Matty doesn't have a "bad attitude", he he's simply being honest with you. The other side of this forum is really none of your business and NONE of us like it when people from this forum drag stuff over here.
Really speaking, you owe Matty an apology after all the time he spends in this forum trying to help people.
Ann
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I understand he does ALL of you do but the way he spoke to me was very rude theres a way to say things and honestly reading that response was rude. I was just asking if he got on aim cuz he has an aim icon there and then he gives me that rude response. What the point of having your aim up there??.I do not owe him an apology.I respect every single one of you for you r hard work and effort and trying to eduacate us trying to stay safe and knowing the risks.
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Nerve,
He wasn't being rude, he was being honest - and there's a huge difference. He doesn't want you to contact him on AIM and he told you so. If he wants to have the AIM icon up, that's his business - but it doesn't mean he has to want to talk to you and he told you as much. He didn't call you names or whatever, he just said he wants no contact with you outside this thread and that's his right.
If you don't stop putting him down because of this, you just might find yourself with a time out. Show a little more respect.
Ann
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Okie doke. Sorry Matt and once again thanks for everything.
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Well I wasnt panicked about it till I saw how many scared to death people they are about this very same thing on this website. Well I recently some brief sex with a sexual worker, she puth the condom on me and gave me head for a little and then we had sex in my car(I know out of all places lol) anyhow i came fast i guess cuz i was scared and then i pulled the condom off and through it away she left and i drove home. When i got home when i got in the shower i just saw under the head of my penis some little white stuff I freaked out and was like omg what if thats her fluids that somehow got there. I wasnt wasted or anything so i remember bout 90% of the whole scenario. I even remeber while having sex with her(from behind) I was rolling the condom lower to make sure it didnt roll up. I know im such a worry wart geez.. Anyhow i came in the condom and i remember pulling out and seeing it so on with the semen in the litto pouch. The other 10% i dont remember is where was the bottom of the condom the middle? bottom? a little farther up?. Now mrs Ann this is for you since you seem to be one of the most..how can i say CLEAR persons to talk to with reason. Lets suppose the condom roll up..obviously if it was veryyyyy high up there(Condom)there would be a huge part of it hanging from the front? common sense right?. This is the battle I am engaging with in my mind now. And i remember seeing bout half an inch to an inch with my semen in it only out. What do you think mam?
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anyone?
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Dude i went throught the same thing!!!. Only i was evn more worried because I am uncut. But with that said the experts here know what they are talking about man, you were smart l;ike me to use a condom and as long as that little sucker was still on and all torn youre A ok to go! =).
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Thanks alot man appreciate that well yea I'm definitely more at ease because of the condom I just worried about the vaginal fluid surround the condom adter i pulled out. I did cum insdie the condom so yea. Thanks atleast you answered:)
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You used a condom. They provide very effective protection. Tell your head to give it a rest. There was no risk. Really.
Get on with your life.