Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
December 01, 2022, 02:50:37 pm

Login with username, password and session length


Members
Stats
  • Total Posts: 766835
  • Total Topics: 65454
  • Online Today: 206
  • Online Ever: 5484
  • (June 18, 2021, 11:15:29 pm)
Users Online
Users: 1
Guests: 159
Total: 160

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Do I Have HIV?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: that friend again  (Read 812 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline CalvinC

  • Member
  • Posts: 203
that friend again
« on: August 17, 2022, 11:09:15 am »
Hi all

Since it's kind of quiet here....

My "friend with a drinking problem" (see earlier thread) has another "problem." Okay, it isn't a problem, but I can't figure this one out.

Many months ago, my friend, who is 59 and poz, told me he had been in contact with a 17 year old who lives in the Phillipines. He said that they got to talking and, from what I gather, sexting. I told him, clearly, to stop this and delete his files. Not only did I say that it was questionally illegal but, from a dating persepective, kind of impossible. There's a 42 year age difference and they don't even live on the same continent and have no plans to meet up soon.

My friend recently told me that they are now boyfriends. His facebook page says that they are in a relationhip, since December. I have no idea if they ever plan on meeting since neither of them has much money. (I assume that the boyfriend has now turned 18.) My friend is hesitant to discuss this with me, save for the once, likely because he knows I don't approve.

My approval or disapproval doesn't matter; if that's what he wants to do, well, fine with me. But I'd like to think that I have enough life experience to know that long-distance and/or huge age differences of this sort don't work out. I don't think that the boyfriend is looking for money or anything (as I said, my friend has none), In addition, my friend has grown his hair long -- I mean, rock star length -- and it makes him look unkempt, like a homeless person. Seriously, it's awful, and I've told him plainly that it isn't a good look. All of this follows his experience of a few years ago when he had a bedbug infestion and, in order to deal with it, turned to his local MCC, of which is he now a part. As though Jesus is going to help you with bedbugs.

I'm not sure what's going on here. I live in a city whose metro population is about 6 million, and there is a huge gay scene here. It's not as though there's any shortage of available men of all ages. Lots of hair dressers too. And no, Jesus won't get rid of your bedbugs. (They are long gone....he got exterminators in.)

I want to be supportive but it's hard. I'm his oldest friend and probably know him better than anyone, going on 40 years now.

Thoughts?

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2022 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.