POZ Community Forums
HIV Prevention and Testing => Do I Have HIV? => Topic started by: yah on September 13, 2011, 03:53:28 am
-
A week ago I had sex with my girlfriend twice with condoms whom later on in the week I got to learn that she is hiv positive. The problem is, during one of the times we were having sex, the condom was small so it did not roll down down completely to cover my whole pennis, half of my pennis was bare during that whole time we were having sex. the lower half of my pennis which the condom had failed to roll and cover was inside her vigina and was all covered with her viginal fluids during all that time we were having sex. I am so worried, please help me.
-
As long as the head of your penis was covered you were protected.
-
Yah,
As Rodney says, as long as the head of your penis was covered, you were protected. The skin on the shaft of your penis is not susceptible to hiv infection.
Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:
You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.
To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.
Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.
ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST OVER THIS SPECIFIC SITUATION, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.
If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.
Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!
Ann
-
Thank you guys so much rodney and ann. you guys have made me feel myself again. Although I have to tell you something else. You see when my girlfriend found out the news last week that she hiv+, it hurt her alot, cried alot, had many bad thoughts and got so depressed. I made a promise to God to always be there for her as long as am alive as a friend. The status news made us stop our relationship last week. however a day ago we had intimate body rubbing each other ( no blow jobs and sucking) but just a few kisses on the brests. At the end of the intimate moment she poured viginal fluids on my pennis, I think including the head of the pennis got wet as well. Am I still safe ? Am so sorry for this mistake I made.
-
Thank you guys so much rodney and ann. you guys have made me feel myself again. Although I have to tell you something else. You see when my girlfriend found out the news last week that she hiv+, it hurt her alot, cried alot, had many bad thoughts and got so depressed. I made a promise to God to always be there for her as long as am alive as a friend. The status news made us stop our relationship last week. however a day ago we had intimate body rubbing each other ( no blow jobs and sucking) but just a few kisses on the brests. At the end of the intimate moment she poured viginal fluids on my pennis, I think including the head of the pennis got wet as well. Am I still safe ? Am so sorry for this mistake I made. Do I need testing ?
-
Do I need testing ?
-
Yah,
Did you read my previous post?
ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST OVER THIS SPECIFIC SITUATION, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.
If you've never tested but have been sexually active, then you should have a full sexual health check-up. A full check up includes ALL sexually transmitted infections, not just hiv.
As long as you and your girlfriend use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, you will be protected where hiv is concerned.
There have been three long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one.
I myself was diagnosed while in a relationship. He tested hiv negative, despite the fact that we had been having unprotected intercourse for a year and a half before my diagnosis.
We started using condoms after my diagnosis and he remained hiv negative. We were together for over eight years. If we could stay together and have a full and satisfying sex life and at the same time protect his negative hiv status, then you can too.
Ann
-
Thank you Ann, Your advice means alot to me. You are a thousand times better than all my inconsistent friends. You have made me not to fear going for an hiv. test because I had 2 tests before this whole encounter happened. I really do not think I should go on with hiv testing issue since I know my partners for now.
-
Yah,
You're welcome.
As you already know your hiv status and nothing you have done with your girlfriend has been a risk, then no, you do not need to test again over what's recently happened.
And just to be clear, that includes the recent rubbing (also known as frottage) incident. Getting vaginal fluid on your penis is not a risk. Only actually putting your penis INSIDE her vagina (or anus) without a condom is a risk.
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!!!
Ann
-
Right now another problem is coming up, A day ago I started developing a sore throat which I think may develop into a cough or flu. It has kind of freaked me out the thoughts that it may be the early signs of hiv infection which show that am infected after 11 days since our encounter because I heard there are some signs which come very early after the infection usually after 1 week.
-
please someone out there answer me, am really freaking out becuase a sore throat is one of the earliest signs of hiv and it ussually takes 2 weeks after the infection to show up, which is the same period as me. some one please help me.
-
Yah,
Why would your sore throat have anything to do with hiv when you were NOT AT RISK for hiv infection when you had PROTECTED intercourse?
If you feel unwell, see a doctor. Whatever is causing your sore throat is NOT hiv. You were NOT AT RISK for hiv infection.
If you read the Welcome Thread (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=220.0) before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.
Please consider yourself warned!
Ann
-
please someone out there answer me, am really freaking out becuase a sore throat is one of the earliest signs of hiv and it ussually takes 2 weeks after the infection to show up, which is the same period as me. some one please help me.
Bullshit. A sore throat is not "one of the earliest signs of HIV." You've been coming to a site with the best HIV information on the internet, and you can't even be bothered to read our LESSONS on transmission?
If you really want to be a friend to this poor girl, I suggest that you and your irrational fear stay far away from her until you have educated yourself. How can someone who refuses to believe the science of HIV transmission be anything except a source of stigma, guilt, shame and pain to someone newly diagnosed?
Dont be a horrible person.
You cannot get HIV from protected sex.
Also, it's not about you right now.
-
Hi guys, yesterday I went with my girl for her first treament and counceling, during the counciling we were told to express each ourselves` problems . Of which I expressed mine; here is how it went I told them of how our sexual intercourses were and the condom risk issue and early signs of acute hiv infections which Ihave of sore throat, fever, sweating at night, joint pains, muscle aches and fatigue. And here were there responses the hiv councelor told me that she is sure I did not contract hiv but the medical doctor told me that he is not sure my status and risk because of the condom risk that happened to me and the signs of the infection make him to fail to conclude. So right now am just in a continuation, I do not know who to believe among the two. I welcome all your responses with highest respect,please advise me. Thank you
For the record who ever wrote something bad in my post about me and my girl, guess what? She thanked me for being by her side during this hard time. She said am like a brother, father, best friend and companion to her. Even the councelor thanked me for that.
-
Yah,
We have repeatedly told you that protected intercourse is not a risk for hiv infection.
Ann
-
It is just that sometimes I think that may be the condom was torn or had some holes in it that I did not realise. But I would have seen my sperms dreeping out. I am confused and worried, just do not know what next.
-
Yah,
Broken condoms are very obvious. You WOULD have noticed.
Ann
-
ok, I will take that for now. Thanks
-
Fortunately doubts and fears are not facts. And the facts as you have reported them say that you were not at risk for HIV.
Condoms provide very effective protection against HIV transmission. There is no evidence to indicate that you were not well protected. Many thousands of sero-discordant partners are having good lives together including sexually by always using condoms for intercourse.
You need to get on with your life and get past all this unnecessary drama. If you find that your fears are such a big issue you ought to consider talking with a counselor or other professional to discuss this. And doing that with your gf might also help both of you. We cannot address that in this setting.
-
Am kind of curious as to why my symptoms that I have just after two weeks and 3 days since the sexual encounter do not frighten or make you have any doubts even the fact that we have frottage and some times her vigiinal fluids go to my genitals does not mean anything to you. Bottom line is that all I want is for you to honestly assure me of my status because I was hiv negative before this whole sex insident. Am I still negative?
-
You're "curious"????? We know what is risky and what isn't as has been explained to you several times.
We're not going to induilge your fears with more back and forths about this matter. You were not at risk. If you can't let go of your unwarranted fears then see a counselor or other professional to discuss the matter. Your "symptoms" had nothing to do with HIV. If they persist you should be discussing them with a doctor to determine the real cause.
I am also going to warn you that if you continue to return here again about your non-risk incident, you are going to find yourself getting a Time Out from the site for at least 28 days. HIV is not your problem. Period.
-
Yah,
You haven't had a risk for hiv infection, so why would you be positive now? Your symptoms do not worry me in the least. We see people here all the time who developed a coincidental cold or flu after a NO RISK incident and they test NEGATIVE every time.
Remember when I told you that I was with an hiv negative man when I was diagnosed? We engaged in frottage on a regular basis. I was - and still am - totally confident that it is a no-risk activity. I would never put someone at risk for hiv infection.
If you read the Welcome Thread (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=220.0) before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.
Please consider yourself warned!
Ann
-
Am sorry this the last time am asking. Am going to test after 2 months. Basing on all the symptoms and signs I have given you and that now I have swollen lumph and a headache to make me have 8 symptoms out of nine symptoms. And also one time during one of our sexual encounter I rubbed my unprotected pennis in between her buttocks or butt. Out of 100%, what do you think my results are going to be ?
-
Yah,
Rubbing your penis between her butt cheeks is also frottage and as you have been repeatedly told, frottage is NOT a risk for hiv infection. As you have not had a risk for hiv infection, I fully expect you to test negative.
Yes, this WILL be the last time you're asking - because I'm giving you that time out I warned you about. Do not attempt to create a new account to get around your time out because if you do, you will be permanently banned.
Ann
-
Hi guys Ann and Andy, alot has happened since the last time I was here and you are not going to believe what has happened but still need your help:
So now here is the situation when I was having sex with girlfriend, she was laying on her tummy, meaning I was on top of her from the back. during the intercourse my pennis got out and when I was trying to put it back in thats when the condom broke , because she told me 100% that did not feel it break from the inside as she was the first to know it broke and she told me if in anyway my pennis had gone in after the break she would feel it, lets say my pennis head had touched or entered her vagina entrance after the break and also if the condom had vaginal fluids on it when it broke, but given the situation do you think I was at risk ?
Because after 2 weeks and I developed a severe sore throat ,muslce and joint pains and also painful and a bit swollen lymph nodes and really sick.
However 3 days ago we had sex, we used a condom, the condom that whole time we had sex was fine but after we had finished when I was removing the condom while unrolling it down it the ring of the condom held tightly to my penis head, so basically it refused to come off , which I had to pull off force fully. in case vaginal fluids went on my pennis during that confusing situation, do you think I got infected ?
And does hiv pass through penis glands lets say if the condom rim oversquised my penis head with vaginal fluids while it off ?
Here is the biggest shock I witnessed, I had a talk with my girlfriend she told me that in May this year she had an abortion, before the abortion they drew blood from her later on I told her like last week and check on what her results were because they didn`t tell her, however when she got there the dr. tolid her that they check for any disease in the blood before they carry out such an act(abortion) and if they are positive they tell you and if they are negative they don`t tell you anything, and they nurse later on told her that they didn`t find anything in her blood.
Now am and her confused, she says that was out of the window period before the abortion as she had spent 4 months without sex and after the abortion the only person she had sex with was me and am negative. Given the situation how long does she have to wait to do a test for hiv after the abortion to get acurate results. Because at the moment we stopped having sex, Do I also need testing after all that has happened?
-
I had forgotten to tell you that as we heard the condom break I removed my penis immidiately wherever it was. although she said it broke from the thighs during re-insertion.
-
Yah,
You are highly unlikely to end up positive over this broken condom but you should test to make sure.
If your girlfriend isn't sure what her hiv status is, she needs to test.
Ann
-
What about the situation when I was removing the condom. Was it also a risk and should I also wait and test for it?
And what about my girlfriend, should she an antibody test because its now 5 months sinc the abortion, Do you think antibodies after the abortion are still present in her blood or body
-
Yah,
If your girlfriend is hiv positive, she will test hiv antibody positive regardless of an abortion. If she does not know her status, she should test.
Removing a condom is absolutely NOT a risk for hiv infection and it doesn't matter if you got vaginal fluids on your penis.
Ann
-
Well there was a thought of a false positive on her because of the abortion. Thank you very much for the support
-
It was an incorrect thought in terms of HIV science. If she is HIV positive she will test positive.
Make sure you are using condoms everytime for intercourse. The only time when you can safely dispense with condom use is if and when you find yourself in a securely monogamous relationship in which both partners have reliably tested negative. Otherwise condoms are a must everytime.
-
Yah,
Pregnancy can sometime cause false positive antibody results, but not abortions.
For the last time, if there is ANY question over your partner's hiv status, she needs to test. It's that simple.
Ann
-
Thank you guys . She has decided to retest at the end of this month and Andy did not say anything about ny broken condom incident and what you think of it and the incident when I wrongly removed the condon.
-
I am so sorry I forgot to tell you that I had a small wound on my penis head which was visible when I got the the problem of not properly removing the condom. And the condom rim (ring) which I believe and know had vaginal fluids held tightly to the wound connecting it with the vaginal fluids when I was pulling the condom off by force with some energy.
-
You guys are not going to believe this. My girlfriend yesterday went and for an antibody test and it came negative. Am so happy, I really thank you guys Ann and Andy for supporting and being with me even when my friends could not. Who could ever imagine that after the 2 tests she did 3 months ago which came positive would now come back negative. I really thank God.
-
Yah,
Well, that's good news. False positive results happen sometimes and that is why any positive result must be confirmed - or ruled out - with further testing.
Please remember what you've learned here and use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, until such time as you and your partner are monogamous and have both tested negative for hiv. It really is that simple!!!
Ann
-
I have a girlfriend who tested hiv postive twice from 2 different places in September last year but however in mid November she tested Hiv negative and also on January 30th this year she still tested negative. We have been having unprotected sex lately. Should I believe she is HIV negative and have nothing to worry about and that the positve results of September were just false ?
-
First of all we have a rule here that members are supposed to write only in the same thread. I have merged your latest entry with your previous ones. If you write in again you should only use this same thread.
The issue of your gf's HIV status is not a new one here. You've brought it up at length previously. If she has twice tested negative then she is HIV negative.
As for having unprotected sex, that's a decision to take only when both partners have reliably tested negative together and are in a committed, monogamous relationship. Make sure that description fits both of you if you're not using condoms for intercourse.
-
sorry to ask but what do you mean by description?
-
It's not complicated. I am simply saying you should only stop using condoms if you both have tested negative together and are committed to a securely monogamous relationship.