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Off Topic Forums => Off Topic Forum => Topic started by: Miamiguy on April 19, 2008, 01:20:30 am

Title: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Miamiguy on April 19, 2008, 01:20:30 am
Well hello everyone.. another Happy Hour - Friday night has come and gone and I left alone due to my choice. Im not a bad looking guy, & I do alright ..but when it gets time to seal the deal, I remember what I have and what I cant do without protection .. and converstaion. ( Converstaion = informing the other person that I am HIV. ) Anyways .. I am home once again alone and am going to wake up tomorrow with a new day starting. I have been a member of a couple of online paid dating sites for at least 2 years and have met maybe 3 .. or 4 potential females for a possible relationship, but they all ended in a dead end. I dont know why people that choose to join a dating site online never fullfill their desire to have a relationship. All I asked for on these sites is a female that is Thin / Attractive / Loves the beach / and is Drama free.. guess that is a large order to fullfill. She doesnt have to work as I do allright money wise .. but it wouldnt hurt to contribute. I see so many people with HIV on disability and requesting SS which in my opinion is sad. If you can type and be in a chat room 10 hours a day then you can get a job and support yourself as well. Anyways .. my initial point being is that these females where I live think of you as a Sugar Daddy and want you to support them in their life's goals...anyways .. 1 simple female thats not over weight .. attractive .. and has no drama in her life is all I ask for .. its not alot .. I cook .. I clean .. I have my own finances and pay the bills .. without ever having a cigarette or drug in my life. I do have the occassional happy hour cocktail every friday to relax with friends, but it doesnt make me a drug addict or alcoholic.  Anyways .. if youre a female and think you might be what im looking for.. then dont waste 1 min to contact me, everyone have a Great night .. im off to bed to start a new day .... God Bless . If you want better photos if youre a female then send an email to me and I ll forward you pictures. I have nothing to hide but wont send offensive pictiures, just normal ones.

MiamiGuy
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Jeff G on April 19, 2008, 10:27:01 am
 I'm one of those sad people on SS . After losing my insurance social security and medicare has kept me alive . I spend allot of time typing away online , it helps me to stay sane because I'm uninsured , unemployed and bored out of my mind most days . Don't misinterpret my tone here I'm not angry that people think I'm a slacker , there is a good reason for me being on SS . I don't think many people would willingly choose to live this way , poor and marginalized . At least I'm alive and who knows if my prayers are answered maybe one day I can work and pay  taxes again and even afford a day at the beach myself .
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: MOONLIGHT1114 on April 19, 2008, 10:33:45 am
Miami~  Best of luck to you in your quest for a relationship.  It isn't easy!  I dated and dated lots of neggie guys, disclosing right and left, with lots of rejection.  Its been 12 years since my husband died of AIDS and being single can sometimes weigh on a person.  I am in my 4th LTR since he's passed. I have had the LEAST amount of luck on Poz sites, so I have always tried others, where it was ALL neggie men.

I have found a great neggie guy and we have been together 6 months.  It takes time, but don't give up!

Best of luck to you!
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Optipessimistic on April 19, 2008, 10:35:13 am

   Don't post often so it must have been your charming personality that has led me to post here.   I can't believe a gem like you has not been taken.  Why?  If I was not married right now I would fly my employed butt....

as....

far....

from....

Miami as possible!!

Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: MOONLIGHT1114 on April 19, 2008, 10:37:45 am
Opti~  Play nice or stay the hell out.  The man is venting here, for goodness sake!

 >:(
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: thunter34 on April 19, 2008, 10:40:21 am
I'm one of those sad people on SS . After losing my insurance social security and medicare has kept me alive . I spend allot of time typing away online , it helps me to stay sane because I'm uninsured , unemployed and bored out of my mind most days . Don't misinterpret my tone here I'm not angry that people think I'm a slacker , there is a good reason for me being on SS . I don't think many people would willingly choose to live this way , poor and marginalized . At least I'm alive and who knows if my prayers are answered maybe one day I can work and pay  taxes again and even afford a day at the beach myself .

O RLY?  Well, you should be.  Allow me to be offended on your behalf then.  Listen up, Miami:  It's mighty damn presumptuous of you to make such sweeping statements about what people are and ought to be doing.  Some of the people typing away here are doing so from a horizontal position, sugar...recuperating at home or even posting live from the hospital bed.  And a good many of them may be vertical, but are still suffering from all manner of ailments about which you know nothing about.  So pipe down already and go sailing or something.  

Quote
She doesnt have to work as I do allright money wise

That's rich.  You go from maligning people here on SS - who have not been so fortunate physically as you have been - to attempting to woo the women with a flash of cash in one big sweep.  Charming.

No luck on the dating front?  Color me suprised.

And Cindy...I gotta disagree with you on this one.  I don't think Mr. Miami was playing very nice either, and some backlash is justified.
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Dachshund on April 19, 2008, 10:41:21 am
Opti~  Play nice or stay the hell out.  The man is venting here, for goodness sake!

 >:(

Respectfully Cindy who made you judge and jury? I found his post offensive. Freedom of expression doesn't exempt you from freedom from response.
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: thunter34 on April 19, 2008, 10:42:06 am
Oops.  I misread your statement, jg.  I thought you were saying that you understood why people thought you a slacker.  Sorry about that.

The rest of my post stands.

Actually, I'm not sure about your statement, jg.  I can't tell how to read that bold sentence of yours.
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Miss Philicia on April 19, 2008, 10:45:08 am
::feels offended::
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: MOONLIGHT1114 on April 19, 2008, 10:46:34 am
Hey guys, I didn't mean to offend.  I certainly understand that many here are on SS and disability, but who am I to get into a pissing war with Miami?  I try to read posts and just tell myself that people are venting.

I identified with the difficulty Miami was having with dating, as you guys know I went through a rough time last year.

I think Opti was pretty damn harsh, but I see both points of view (Miami's dating dilemma and Opti's offense at the statement).

I just wish people would work on their delivery sometimes.

OK, I'll be quiet now, don't want you guys to get upset with me.

:)

Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Dachshund on April 19, 2008, 10:51:03 am
I see so many people with HIV on disability and requesting SS which in my opinion is sad. If you can type and be in a chat room 10 hours a day then you can get a job and support yourself as well.  

Maybe you should get out more. I volunteer at a local ASO and over the years have delivered meals to the disabled. Some whose only contact with the outside world is their computer. Some were blind, some were amputees, some were bat shit crazy. Each had one thing in common they would have traded places with just about anyone.
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Dachshund on April 19, 2008, 10:52:15 am
I just wish people would work on their delivery sometimes.

testify


Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: BT65 on April 19, 2008, 11:14:09 am
Miami, I found your post offensive.  You're saying people on disability (as I am) shouldn't be on the computer?  Is that a right reserved only for working people? 

And then you're saying a woman wouldn't have to work?  What do you really want-please do tell.
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: dgr20002 on April 19, 2008, 11:17:51 am
I am not gonna say what I really want too but I was waiting on someone to call this guy out on his statement about people on SS.  No one has any right to determine someones eligibility for benefits based on their belief that if they can sit in a chat room all day they can support themselves. All some people are able to do on their best days is chat to keep themselves occupied.

David
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Andy Velez on April 19, 2008, 11:34:05 am
Miami, you've mixed the issues up here and it doesn't serve your main one well -- wanting to find someone in your life.

Focus on what you are looking for in your life and skip the judgemental comments about those who are on SS and disability. In my experience blanket judgements of that sort are NEVER accurate and at the very  least are hurtful  and insensitive to the real life situations of others, including some of our membersi. Just speak from the "I" perspective about your problems and your quest and don't go any further into that other area which is totally irrelevant to what you started out talking about.

As for everyone else, this is the sort of "discussion" that can easily degenerate so I'll just say that now several people have expressed their ire at Miami, back off a bit before sparks become flames. Thanks for your cooperation. 
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: thunter34 on April 19, 2008, 11:39:36 am
Look, Miami:  I had a peek at your posting history.  I see you are new here and don't appear to be a bad fella, really.  I just think you made some rather inappropriate and sweeping statements without carefully thinking them through.  At least, that is what I would like to think is the case here.  Welcome to AIDS Meds 101 - we are very protective of our own.  And in situations like this, immediate cases spring to our minds from those among our family so we want to defend them.

So after tearing you a new one, allow me to say:  Welcome to the forums!
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Jeff G on April 19, 2008, 11:59:12 am
Welcome Miami ... Now don't start to feel special around here you are not the first to welcomed with a beat down LOL .
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: next2u on April 19, 2008, 12:17:56 pm
hey miami,

yeah, thats a tough statement you made. ill have to back cindy on this one, dating is a bitch. in all fairness, a lot of people on ssi are on it for valid reasons. and yes, while some can work, if they happened to lose their job due to illness, fatigue, pn, or any other malady they may find themselves without income & medical coverage. it's really not their fault, as the system is broken and does not reward people who try to work.

back to your main point. dating is a bitch. dating online is even worse. all i can say is cast a bigger net. loosen up on the preferences and be willing to travel. are there any aso's, yahoo groups, or poz travels or retreats in your area? what about volunteering for an aso or aids org? you'd extend your network and possibly meet someone this way. im not saying this shit is easy or that you have endless hours to meet the perfect mate, just offering other ways of meeting people. good luck on your quest and welcome to the forums. if you are successful in your adventure, please share you story. to date, i have not been successful in mine. i do not volunteer, but i am a member of 2 hiv groups and have found one poz activities group. fortunately, i live by los angeles.
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Queen Tokelove on April 19, 2008, 12:24:13 pm
Hmm, I figured I would wait and see what everyone else was going to say about Miami. I was more than ready to rip him a new one. In all honesty, it sounds to me like Miami is looking for some type of Barbie. Isn't there a chick out there who actually did plastic surgery to make herself look like Barbie? Instead of looking here maybe you should do a google search.

It's great that you have money and is living LARGE. Maybe you need to get out in the real world and see how people struggle to live with the disability check they receive. I get one, did not want one but was told that I couldn't work a job anymore. I may not be rich with money but I am rich in personality which means more to me than looking for a person who based on their appearance. You say you have your own money and it doesn't matter if SHE works, hmm, sounds like you're looking for a gold digger to me, shouldn't be hard at all to find those in Miami.
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: next2u on April 19, 2008, 12:38:21 pm
haha, tokie kept it real.
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Dragonette on April 19, 2008, 12:50:02 pm
I don't know why, except for one freak I have been so lucky on the poz sites, to meet the nicest kindest men. Even though nothing came out of it romantically.

Once I met a guy on Poz or Pozmatch, can't remember. He was from 2-3 hours away so that was a good start. We had a good chat on MSN for about 2 hours. At some point he turned on a webcam, and I saw something strange. It turned out that half his face and whole body were paralized from toxoplasmosis, which was how he was diagnosed - first with the toxo then with AIDS. His wife had died from AIDS too. I remember being really shocked b/c his CD4s at the time were twice as many as I had been diagnosed with, a little lower than what I had at the time. I understood how close I was to his state, bedridden, dependent on others, on help from the state, totally and forever.
He was not looking for love he said, he just wanted to talk to someone, we kept talking and he asked for my picture, I sent him one.  I'll never forget what he did, he improved my picture using some program and sent it back to me, so that I would have a nicer portrait to send other men.
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: next2u on April 19, 2008, 01:51:44 pm
dragonette,
what happened? are you two still friends? hey, thanks for the info on pozmatch, ill be posting a profile there today.

http://www.pozmatch.com/

on a side note. the guy im trying to date is turning out to be a prude. im still pursuing this, but damnit, my whorish ways may be too much for him. we were talking the other day and he listed 4 reasons he didn't want to go to an event. my response, those are all great reasons to go!!! (white party - drunken men, randy sex, acting a fool, and partying all night). like, what if i catch him checking out some hot guy and decide i'd want to watch them have sex? sheez, i have a job, i go to school, and above all that trivial bullshit (the great american dating standards) i am a nice guy who wants the world to be a better place, is it horrible that i want my partner to be really dirty in bed?

just a thought.
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Dragonette on April 19, 2008, 02:22:30 pm
Next2U, nothing happened. We didn't stay in touch afterwards, we were not friends it was a one time online encounter. He disappeared, I didn't see him online again when I used messenger, and I guess I was also dealing with a lot of stuff to try to contact him again. You can say it was a chance encounter. I mean not by chance but he was not looking for a relationship online in his state, I guess he was looking for someone to talk to just that evening. Months and months later he sent me some invitation to some site, but I never followed it.

I guess that was my association for people spending hours in chats... I had a feeling that he didn't want anyone feeling sorry for him, he said he had what he needed & he was complete with his life, that his helper would help him get on the street in the wheelchair and in the summer he's sit on the promenade and have a beer and he didn't need anything that he didnt have. I have no really idea what went on in his mind, but if I have to guess, he couldn't even entertain the hope of ever getting with a woman and he had to adapt to that awful reality and make himself really accept it.

But a little urge remained, and I guess he wanted to be in control where he was equal as a man meeting a woman, which is where the internet came in... He didn't tell me right away, but once I knew about him, he turned it around like he was helping me, and help me with my quest. It was just giving each other something we needed that evening (though not sex, romance or dating, but still something). He needed to be gallant and I needed to believe in male kindness.
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: AlanBama on April 19, 2008, 03:55:59 pm
 I see so many people with HIV on disability and requesting SS which in my opinion is sad.

I agree, it is sad.   You should try living life on THIS end of it, then you would really be sad.

 >:(
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Winiroo on April 19, 2008, 06:27:24 pm
I'm not offended.
I've been on SS before. I'm not currently. There are people on SS that don't need to be. Don't anyone try to argue with me about that one. But there are plenty who are on disability who legitimately need to be as well.

His post wasn't intended to offend anyone. Good grief. The no fat chicks thing kinda amused me but hey, he is the one looking for a partner and is well within his rights to post what suits his fancy. 
If I could live comfortably and not have to work hell yeah I'd be all for doing that. His choice of words just rubbed some of ya'll wrong. It seems to me his post was not an intent to piss anyone off. I'm sure he will be more aware of some peoples sensitivities before he posts again.
And if he doesn't, oh well. I don't believe it was intended as a personal attack. So its not a big deal to me.

Its hard as hell to find a partner who fits all your desires. Best of luck to you.

Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Dachshund on April 19, 2008, 06:31:58 pm
I'm not offended.
I've been on SS before. I'm not currently. There are people on SS that don't need to be. Don't anyone try to argue with me about that one. But there are plenty who are on disability who legitimately need to be as well.

His post wasn't intended to offend anyone. Good grief. The no fat chicks thing kinda amused me but hey, he is the one looking for a partner and is well within his rights to post what suits his fancy. 
If I could live comfortably and not have to work hell yeah I'd be all for doing that. His choice of words just rubbed some of ya'll wrong. It seems to me his post was not an intent to piss anyone off. I'm sure he will be more aware of some peoples sensitivities before he posts again.
And if he doesn't, oh well. I don't believe it was intended as a personal attack. So its not a big deal to me.

Its hard as hell to find a partner who fits all your desires. Best of luck to you.



Gee thanks for explaining it to us Winnie, guess we should just dismiss the feelings of the people that were offended now that you say it's OK.
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Winiroo on April 19, 2008, 06:39:14 pm
Well gee smarty pants. I don't believe I suggested you should share my opinion.

Love ya.
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Miamiguy on April 19, 2008, 06:51:14 pm
Well let me start by saying I'm very sorry if I offended anyone here. I maybe should have reevaluated the way I posted this thread. I do know that there are people on SS and really need the help .. no doubt about that.. what maybe I wanted to say was there are some people that abuse the system which takes away from the people that really need the help with bills ... medical care and what ever else they need to get by in life.. these abusers are physically fit with nothing stopping them from going out getting what ever they want in life. I met one female who is HIV and working as a stripper in a NYC Club sliding up and down on a pole and collecting SS , I dont see that being right. Am I looking for a gold digger ? no I'm not ..Ive tried the poz online sites with some meets and connections, but like alot of you know, it ain't easy. I know it takes time and patience...guess i was just having one of my moods last night when I vented and didn't think before I posted. Once again .. I'm sorry for anyone getting offended .. I ll now send myself to the timeout bench.
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Dachshund on April 19, 2008, 06:52:29 pm
Well gee smarty pants. I don't believe I suggested you should share my opinion.

Love ya.

Sorry W, but I just thought it a tad presumptuous of you to tell us what Miami meant. He's a big boy, he can tell us what he meant if he chooses. We don't need a translator. More importantly, I'm not wearing pants. :P

ps see winnie  
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Winiroo on April 19, 2008, 06:58:34 pm
Not wearing pants aye?  Damn you, you know how to distract me now!

And its so unlike me to be lacking in modesty or impolitely assertive. LOL
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Jeff G on April 19, 2008, 07:10:34 pm
 Miamiguy I see now that you really mean no malice here , but its clear that you just don't understand how some people get trapped in a system that is not designed for people who suffer life long chronic health conditions . I have had to work while collecting SS just to eat and put a roof over my head . Some might think I abused the system I feel like Ive been abused by the system . Its all too complex to discuss in a simple post within a thread .
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Longislander on April 19, 2008, 07:32:38 pm
Hi Miami, Welcome to AM.
When I was reading your post, I noticed you said you left alone because you knew what you could and couldn't do and the conversation. JUst a thought, but perhaps just keep the goal to leave with some phone #'s exchanged. When I met my first BF  in a club after I became pos, we just exchanged #'s. We went on a few dates and I got to know him before I had the conversation.  He got to know me as something other than just a guy with HIV, and we were together for almost a year ( he's neg.)

Good luck, and again, welcome.

Paul
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: thunter34 on April 19, 2008, 07:33:56 pm
More importantly, I'm not wearing pants. :P

Typical.  At least if you're posting we know you're indoors.

Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Dachshund on April 19, 2008, 07:36:06 pm
Typical.  At least if you're posting we know you're indoors.



I have windows, big windows.
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Jeff G on April 19, 2008, 07:38:12 pm
 Tim that's one hot tater you got there
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: thunter34 on April 19, 2008, 07:41:18 pm
I have windows, big windows.

A butt that size would require them, I imagine.  Pervert.
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Dachshund on April 19, 2008, 07:43:51 pm
A butt that size would require them, I imagine.  Pervert.

sad but true :'(
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: thunter34 on April 19, 2008, 07:44:32 pm
Tim that's one hot tater you got there

I know that.  I've got eyes.

I've been staring at it all afternoon, and playing with my spud.

-Pow!  -Zing!

I don't need no stinking potato thread to keep 'em rolling!
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Dachshund on April 19, 2008, 07:49:46 pm
I heard the Burger King got arrested for messing around with some tater tots.
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: thunter34 on April 19, 2008, 08:00:51 pm
I heard the Burger King got arrested for messing around with some tater tots.

Yeah.  And I hope he fries for it, too!
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: next2u on April 19, 2008, 08:15:07 pm
less innuendos and more sex over here please...
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: AlanBama on April 19, 2008, 09:51:11 pm
Miamiguy I see now that you really mean no malice here , but its clear that you just don't understand how some people get trapped in a system that is not designed for people who suffer life long chronic health conditions . I have had to work while collecting SS just to eat and put a roof over my head . Some might think I abused the system I feel like Ive been abused by the system . Its all too complex to discuss in a simple post within a thread .

I agree with you jg.....it's a very complex situation.

Miamiguy, I realize that you meant no malice, apology accepted.   Some of us are a bit touchy.   I speak only for myself here, but in my particular case, it's a "pride" thing.   You see, AIDS has stolen pretty much everything from me, including most of my dignity.   So I can be a tad too sensitive to comments that were not directed to me, specifically. 

Best of luck in your search for a mate.

hugs,
Alan
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Queen Tokelove on April 20, 2008, 12:11:32 am
Miami---

It's good you clarified what you meant. Uh, a stripper collecting SS, as hard as I am trying, I can't think of a thing to say in her defense. I thought strippers got paid pretty good unless she's one of those strippers with stretch mark and dimples in her ass....*shudders*...Maybe she got a slew of kids? Oh forget it!!!

Future reference from someone from the hood, take it for what it is worth to ya. I wouldn't put it openly out there that you are financially made, maybe say stable. And don't mention sailing right away. You got to leave 'em wondering. It scares the gold diggers away, well, most of them. ;)
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: komnaes on April 20, 2008, 01:13:04 am
less innuendos and more sex over here please...

On my way!!!!!!  ;D
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: next2u on April 20, 2008, 02:35:48 am
shaun - you gonna give me some of that inner peace? haha, thats comedy.

tokie-love knows how those gold digging hoes operate. they can smell a nugget a mile a way. maybe we should play some kanye for him.
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: komnaes on April 20, 2008, 04:30:05 am
shaun - you gonna give me some of that inner peace? haha, thats comedy.


Oh yeah, peace of all blissful states of peace is what we call the post-orgasm bliss... ;D

And I don't specialize in comedy.. I am usually not that funny

Peace, Shaun
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: BT65 on April 20, 2008, 08:12:44 am
Miami, thanks for the 'apology.'  Good luck in finding someone.

As for people abusing the system, well, that's not up to use to call who is and who's not.  As for the stripper, well, I was one many years ago, and can tell you that the job doesn't require a whole lot to do, just conning and dancing.  Believe me, if I could get away with it (living on SSDI/stripping) I probably would also.  But, years, weight etc.  has affected me too much. 
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Jeff G on April 20, 2008, 08:32:09 am
 I am sure you are still lovely Betty .... I think we are never too out of shape to work a pole
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: BT65 on April 20, 2008, 08:55:54 am
I am sure you are still lovely Betty .... I think we are never too out of shape to work a pole

Oh yes, I believe I'm still somewhat lovely-just not put together as well as I used to be. :P
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Miss Philicia on April 20, 2008, 09:50:19 am
Miami, thanks for the 'apology.'  Good luck in finding someone.

As for people abusing the system, well, that's not up to use to call who is and who's not.  As for the stripper, well, I was one many years ago, and can tell you that the job doesn't require a whole lot to do, just conning and dancing.  Believe me, if I could get away with it (living on SSDI/stripping) I probably would also.  But, years, weight etc.  has affected me too much. 

My first thought is that stripping doesn't provide health insurance, and that the stripper is stays on SS to maintain her Medicare coverage.  Alas, HIV complicates EVERYTHING in terms of going back to work

People reading here that are NOT on SS need to keep this in mind:  once you go on SS and, for example, it takes you 5 years to get your body physically back up to speed, how do you explain a 5 year hole on your resume?  Should we all be forced to take a job such as stripping, which has no medical insurance, because it's the only employer willing to hire us?

As Alan said, this issue doesn't work well with simplistic black and white thinking.  I wish it did, but it doesn't.
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Dachshund on April 20, 2008, 10:08:56 am
Funny how it's always a cracked out stripper or a welfare Queen driving a Cadillac that's mentioned milking the system. Nary a word on corporate welfare's screwing of the American taxpayer and they don't need a second job to do it.
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: thunter34 on April 20, 2008, 10:30:05 am
Word up.
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Miss Philicia on April 20, 2008, 10:39:53 am
Shut up, commies
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Jeff G on April 20, 2008, 10:43:03 am
 This topic kinda makes me nuts , Its personal to me . Ive been stuck in the system so long now I have lost my perspective and my objectivity on the subject .  
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Winiroo on April 20, 2008, 10:51:44 am
You can still work and be able to receive disabilty. Depending on how much you've put into the system, meaning how much money you earned prior to being put on disabilty, they formulate that information some how and determine how much money you would be able to earn monthly while still recieving a disability check.

Did that make sense? Not sure I got it from the brain onto the computer in the right way.

Oh well...
I'm sure I'll find out soon after I hit post.

This guy doesnt fit my post but I love him.(http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b324/Winiroo/woohoo.gif)
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: BT65 on April 20, 2008, 10:57:33 am
One can only make up to like $400 a month while receiving disability (at least that's what it was at the beginning of this year).  But, for one such as myself, I would get screwed for every dollar by the public assistance system pulling Medicaid and food stamps (although I only receive $10/month of these) from me.  And though Medicaid for me is screwed up, it does pay my Medicare premiums, and if I meet the spend-down every month, it will cover what Medicare doesn't pay.  I can ill afford to lose that. 

If I were to go back to work, I would have to find a job making an ungodly amount of money to change out what I receive now, albeit a pitence.  No one would cover me on their insurance right away-how would I afford my prescriptions, doctors visits/test etc.?  There's a lot of 'ifs' to think about etc. which cause me a lot of stress to even consider. 

For anyone who can successfully work, get off the system etc. good for them.  I, for one, cannot afford to at this point, or maybe even ever.
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Winiroo on April 20, 2008, 11:02:25 am
My boyfriend got a much, much higher number for the amount of money he would be able to receive monthly if he used the Ticket to Work Program from the department of Social Security.
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Jeff G on April 20, 2008, 11:34:35 am
 The ticket to work program can be used effectively if you are able  to make the move back to employment . The program is designed to wean people off the system , Some one like me that will never be able to financially afford my health care can use the ticket to work program for awhile but eventually you will have to choose to work or be disabled. What I'm saying is the work program can ease your financial burden for a number of months but its not a long term answer to this dilemma .

 In the last few months I have been sending emails out to Senators about this issue . I'm asking them to consider the benefits of allowing people with long term chronic illness that are disabled and most likely to be  in the system for life to be able to work pay taxes while retaining full benefits when we feel able to do so . I was surprised at how many positive responses I got from senators on this matter . I even got a hand written note from President Clinton regarding me plea on this subject .
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Andy Velez on April 20, 2008, 11:41:37 am
An enraging fact of life American life today is the absolutely inverse ratio of proportion in matters financial:

Poor and struggling = as many insurmountable (and degrading) obstacles as possible to collect an insufficient sum for even a very modest existence.

Wealthy and bloating up to richer =  obscenely structured tax laws which routinely mask as "trickle down system" (read as pissing on the peasants) that make the rich even richer, (while they mouth off about all the welfare scams).

Just sayin... even though I've wandered off topic here. Consider myself warned. 
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Winiroo on April 20, 2008, 12:33:52 pm
The ticket to work program can be used effectively if you are able  to make the move back to employment . The program is designed to wean people off the system , Some one like me that will never be able to financially afford my health care can use the ticket to work program for awhile but eventually you will have to choose to work or be disabled. What I'm saying is the work program can ease your financial burden for a number of months but its not a long term answer to this dilemma .

 In the last few months I have been sending emails out to Senators about this issue . I'm asking them to consider the benefits of allowing people with long term chronic illness that are disabled and most likely to be  in the system for life to be able to work pay taxes while retaining full benefits when we feel able to do so . I was surprised at how many positive responses I got from senators on this matter . I even got a hand written note from President Clinton regarding me plea on this subject .

True, its not a forever deal and once your off SS disability its near impossible to get back on it. Or at least from my experience it has been.
I'm moderately ok right now for the most part. My tcells are around 122 at last check and I do have problems with your everyday HIV related illnesses frequently but I am able to work part time.
I've had times where I needed to be back on SS disability but of course I was not able. I'm thinking I'd have to be hospitalised and 3/4 dead before they allowed me back in the system.
I use a county hospital HIV clinic so my medical needs are paid for with taxes and programs if I provide all the paperwork required to the endless line of social workers who never seem to be able to keep copies of what you give them and act as if you never gave them a copy of what ever document they need on the day you are in the clinic.
Medicaid would be nice. Last time I applied <years ago> they told me "sorry you make 9 dollars too much a month to be eligible."

Allrighty, I can see I am rambling now...

I'll shut up.
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: hartiepie on April 20, 2008, 12:48:28 pm
Miamiguy: It seems you can get several things accomplished at once if you play your cards right.

If I am understanding you correctly, an eligible woman wouldn't have to work - but "contributing" would be nice.

You are distressed by the number of people on disability who are not working.

Keeping in mind that most people I know with who are using any form of welfare would love to be off welfare if a different situation were available where all their needs could be met (and a loving environment would be so welcomed, too), an answer presents itself here:

Date a woman on SS / SSI and you can get your romance and politics addressed at the same time!
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: next2u on April 20, 2008, 01:04:08 pm
haha, i think hartie pie has found a solution!!

wini, 9 dollars too much? wow, bureaucratic nonsense at its best. talk about a need for discretionary judgement. hmm, things are working for me right now and i loathe having to deal with mounds & mounds of paperwork. this situation is always exacerbated by inept admin assistants, county workers, or asses just collecting a pay check. sorry, currently trying to jump some hurdles at school & the dr's office.

anyhow, miami, good luck with the dating thing. i signed up on pozmatch yesterday and things have gotten off to a swell start.

best,
d
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Winiroo on April 20, 2008, 01:07:38 pm


Ha!


(http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b324/Winiroo/bananalama.gif)
that was funny enough to make me squirt iced tea out my nose.


Modified because I forgot to write...

The 9 dollars thing. I even requested a appeal and spoke to the uppity ups about the situation. didn't do me a bit of good.
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Queen Tokelove on April 20, 2008, 01:48:58 pm
Hartie did have a good solution. From reading what everyone is saying about SS,those 9 months that they let you work w/o interrupting your check will bite you in the ass when it comes to the medical? My doctor was saying the same thing when I was talking to him about trying to work again. He doesn't think I would be able to do it long without my medical being affected and with the health problems I have. So this is one Queen who hates the damn system but is stuck with it.

Now I know I am far from being Miami's type for a few reasons...I smoke the good green, I am thick and not skinny, and he couldn't pay me to get on his boat. Now if the woman doesn't have to work, uh, what is she contributing? Good conversation? Great sex? Something has to make up for not being able to put anything down financially. Unless of course, it is some reality show and you're going for the 15 minutes of fame. Just saying.

(who is bitter, jaded and pissed with the fucking system) ;)
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: BT65 on April 20, 2008, 01:51:46 pm
You see, for someone like Wini, who has someone else that contributes to the finances of the home, this might not be a bad idea (working again).

But, for myself, and it seems jg1962, this is not a feasible solution.  Jg, I did find interesting that the people in government in your area responded favorably.  I once e-mailed my congressman (Donnelly) about the whole disability/medical insurance/going back to work thing, and never got a reply.  I just wonder for the ones who have replied to you, what's going to be done about it.  I think your idea is a good one.

Yes, I get reviewed by the local housing authority every 6 months.  Which isn't so bad.  Then every six months I get reviewed by welfare.  That's a whole ordeal in itself.  I always have to send them things they already have copies of (ss card etc), bank statements, the form from social security about how much disability I get, any medical bills etc. etc. etc.  It's crazy.  Last year, I worked for a month and a half at some stupid telemarketing job.  When I started, I fully intended to send my caseworker at welfare a copy of my first paystub.  Well, three days after I started the job, I got a letter from her about being 'redflagged.'  She already knew about the job before I had the chance to tell her.  I lost the $10 food stamps for a month, so what.  It's the principle of the thing, sometimes.  

I've heard horror stories about people who have gotten off disability and need to get back on.  I just don't think it's worth it (at least, not for me).
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Jeff G on April 20, 2008, 02:52:45 pm
 I was hoping that I was going to hear how wrong I am on this subject from you guys . I was hoping that you know something Ive missed that was going to allow me to go find a job tomarrow . Adversity sometimes builds character . In my case poverty has changed me , hopefully for the good . I would rather give extra money that may come my way to an organization such as KIVA , Kiva is my pet charity . There are many things I need and some things I just want . knowing what $25 can do for a family in a third world country is empowering to me . Though things are tight for me I know $25 isn't going to get me much I know it can change someones life elsewhere . This is just one way I cope .

 The letters I have written to senators regarding SSI and medicare most likely have fallen on deaf ears . I received polite and concerned replies back but I'm not naive to take them seriously.
IF our government would acknowledge and change the rules so people with disability's could help ourselves
out of poverty we could give back to the system that until now we have only been allowed to take from.
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: thunter34 on April 20, 2008, 03:44:28 pm
The whole SS Disability thing needs to be reexamined with regard to people wih HIV / AIDS because the bottom line is that it is never cut & dry / all or nothing with us in terms of our wellness and ability to work.  You can go from fit as a fiddle to flat on your back (and back again) on a dime, and even something like med changes can potentially take you out of the game for awhile.  But then you can recover again and be ready to go - but stuck from the fear of losing your safety net.  It keeps people frozen even in the times that it shouldn't. 

jg's proposition is a good one, in my opinion.
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Jeff G on April 20, 2008, 04:03:24 pm
[jg's proposition is a good one, in my opinion.
[/quote]


  I just love it when the pretty boys agree with me
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: dgr20002 on April 20, 2008, 04:05:53 pm
I like jg's proposition too.  I am not on disability or SS but some days I feel like I should be. I am trying to word an ad for my local HIV support group in which those that are working could offer little jobs to those that need the financial help for meds co-pays or whatever and paying cash for the work.  I myself for example need someone to come in from time to time to walk my dog and other odds and ends that I just don't have the time or energy some days to get done, I would give the person cash to do it. The concept is good but implementing it isn't. And I hope to find such work too if I am able to do it in time of need in the future.

I know I am way off topic here but this has been on my mind for a while. Of course I can get a service or someone from Craigslist or the like but I would rather help someone that needs it to get by in the doughnit hole or whatever.  Maybe something similar already exists and I am out of the loop.

David
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Jeff G on April 20, 2008, 04:13:08 pm
 I don't think you are off topic at all.... I think we or I have hi jacked this thread quite successfully
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Miss Philicia on April 20, 2008, 04:19:17 pm
Also, keep in mind how much HIV treatment has been changing.  With longer life expectancies the government is just shooting itself in the foot.  If someone is currently diagnosed at 25, it's quite possible that at several times in their working life they may need to go on and off SS.  It's a disease that, for the most part, hits people young and at the beginning of their work life.   
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Winiroo on April 20, 2008, 06:03:06 pm
Working under the table can solve some of the financial strain. Trick is finding said positions.

Yes, I think this thread has been hijacked quite well.

Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: thunter34 on April 20, 2008, 06:41:25 pm
Yes, I think this thread has been hijacked quite well.

I can't speak for Miami, but if it was mine I would be pleased.  It's gone from a flare up to a welcoming and then on to one of the more earnest and insightful discussions that has cropped up lately.

Oh...and a few potato jokes, too.
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Snowangel on April 20, 2008, 06:46:07 pm
(http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b324/Winiroo/woohoo.gif)

I love him!  It reminds me of that song that goes something like you ain't got nothing, if you ain't got that swing, do-wop, do-wop  ;D

9 bucks????Win- That is crazy!

I checked out Poz Match yesterday to see if there any poz women in Mass to hang with but I didn't have any luck  :-\

Good Luck, Miami!  I met my guy on the internet but there are a lot of wierdos out there.
Title: Re: HIV out in Public and trying to Have a good time with Non - HIV @ Happy Hour
Post by: Winiroo on April 20, 2008, 07:06:00 pm
My ex is in Mass. Or at least he was last time I heard from him. He was a good guy.

Dig that fro
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9T7i7KP3cU (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9T7i7KP3cU)

lol love the mental picture. dont mean a thing if you aint got that swing....