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Author Topic: This is a long one. Getting stuff of my chest.  (Read 4316 times)

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Offline GeorgefromEurope

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This is a long one. Getting stuff of my chest.
« on: November 21, 2016, 06:00:32 pm »
Hello,

Great job youre doing here. I have a question that must have been asked here a milion times but mine has a small twist. I had handjob with a sex worker, nothing more, just the h (actually no physical contact but hand on genitals)j. Educated from these forums I thought it was no risk but 6 days after this I developed two mouth ulcers (not painfull) followed up by a strange infection of the mouth (pain in jaw, teeth, still there). I am in panic mode over this and now have fever and have found swollen nodes in the neck. I have a headache but who hasnt in panic mode. Basically managed to identify all symptoms but I know much of it can be my head playing tricks. Here is my twist: during the weekend i had sex with my partner, not really thinking it through as we only use condoms as birth control I flipped the condom after i put it on the other way and proceeded with the act. So my panic is even bigger as i fear i could have infected my partner having a super hig viral load, 10 days post the handjov thung. I want to go to the local hiv center tomorrow to talk to them and i even thought of purchasing pep for the partner (it would be aprox 50hrs post her exposure tomorrow). I know youll tell me "cant happen, wont happen" but gee...what are the chances of getting what i described above and it not being hiv in the timeframe...? By the way, masturbation is rated as "lower risk" in our small European state I live in... Any suggestions? Worth going to the hiv center? Thanks!!!!

Offline Ptrk3

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Re: This is a long one. Getting stuff of my chest.
« Reply #1 on: November 21, 2016, 06:23:08 pm »
The HIV is very fragile and would not survive the exposure to oxygen it would be have exposed to in "flipping" the condom, especially after several days.

Your symptoms, whatever they may be, are not related to HIV exposure from this incident.
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Offline GeorgefromEurope

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Re: This is a long one. Getting stuff of my chest.
« Reply #2 on: November 21, 2016, 06:34:48 pm »
Hi,

Sorry for being confusing but essentially

Incident 1 - handjob with sex worker
Post incident - all ars symptoms including a few one cant really just make up in his head (6 days onto today-day 12)
Incident 2 - flipped condom b4 sex, didnt throw it away but flipped the correct way and used it (day 10 post incident 1)

Question - actually thinking of purchasing pep for partner in incident 2. Have i gone mad or is it sensible given irrespective of risk, I have a combination of symptoms? Sorry for being an ass but would appreciate help. Thank you!

Offline Ptrk3

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Re: This is a long one. Getting stuff of my chest.
« Reply #3 on: November 21, 2016, 07:13:57 pm »
Analyzing symptoms as indicative of HIV infection is not meaningful, since symptoms, if they occur at all, vary widely among individuals.  Therefore, we don't address symptoms on these forums.

Giving or receiving a "handjob" is not a risk for HIV transmission, so you never were at risk over this incident in the first place so you would not have put your partner at risk by "flipping" a condom.

Of course, it is your decision to purchase on PEP for your partner over the second incident, but it is unnecessary.  Feel free to talk further with the folks at your local HIV clinic to further alleviate your unnecessary anxiety.
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Offline GeorgefromEurope

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Re: This is a long one. Getting stuff of my chest.
« Reply #4 on: November 21, 2016, 07:26:52 pm »
Cheers for the reply. Much appreciated. Will let you know if this one was for the history books.

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: This is a long one. Getting stuff of my chest.
« Reply #5 on: November 21, 2016, 07:32:57 pm »
Hi

The handjob was not a risk and it is not possible for HIV to be transmitted in this manner. Its biologically not a risk and not possible. Fact.

If you contract HIV it was not from this handjob, don't post about this irrational fear again here. Move on with your life and cut the drama.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, every time, no exceptions.

Keep in mind that some sexual practices which may be described as ‘safe’ in terms of HIV transmission might still pose a risk for transmission of other STI's, so please do get fully tested regularly and at least yearly for all STI's including but not limited to HIV and test more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs

Also note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and the only way of knowing is by testing.

More information can be found in my signature including some basic information on:
HIV Testing & HIV Transmission and Risks

Kind regards

Jim

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« Last Edit: November 21, 2016, 07:35:38 pm by JimDublin »
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Offline GeorgefromEurope

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Re: This is a long one. Getting stuff of my chest.
« Reply #6 on: January 23, 2017, 05:41:12 pm »
Hi guys,

I need to get this of my chest and through 10 weeks of Googling I couldn’t find a more inclusive and positive (in all meanings of the word) community.

Anyway, here’s my “unknown freaking out” story:
A day after Trump got elected President, a lot of things that were already brewing inside me kind of went out. I got the feeling “all is lost” that I have already had last year and the year before over various world events. See, its strange because I have a feeling the world is collapsing around me yet I myself have a beautiful, caring, intelligent girlfriend that I share everything with an excellent job, co-owning a mid-sized company at a young age of just over 30, getting success thrown at me by a number of great coincidences, , nice flat, good car and the works. So, I’ve been in this “I live like a king yet everything around me is in tatters” feeling. I don’t rationalize or defend here, this is just what led me to visiting a CSW even though I had no other internal reason to do it (I think). I did it in the past but this was when I was single and I used it to vent. Anyway, the CSW only gave me a short handjob I thought myself “you’re an idiot, never do that again!” and this where it all started:

Post-handjob, which is now 11 weeks away, I had all the symptoms of ARS and more, starting with week 1. Fever, recurrent night sweats, thrush (really, thrush, white spots on the cheek inside that come and disappear after 12 hours only to come back a few weeks later), partoitis, my jaw hurt, my ears felt full and and I had ear-ache, stiff neck and since mid December I have had the worst spaced out feelings ever…spending most of my days just disconnected, far away from stuff, unable to react, pay attention and for a few truly terrible days unable to READ (!) as I just couldn’t read paragraphs but had to read words by the letter like a child. It was like CLINICALLY (not mentally) something clicked in my brain.

I was absolutely sure that – although thought of as a no-risk encounter – it had to be HIV that somehow got through my jock-itch/rash with a small wound on my scrotum. I levelled of with my girlfriend through the process (who understands, thinks I have gone crazy but stands by me and is trying to help me), went through a total nervous breakdown (clearly as you can see above, I wasn’t very strong to begin with). Whenever I think I am fine, things appear out of the blue again (symptoms started week 1 and have been going in into week 11 which is pretty much now). Anyway, testing spree followed throughout the entire process so (bear with me) I had the following neg tests:
4th gen test at 12 days
26 days
33 days
47 days
55 days
60 days (+ syphilis also negative)
65 days

Rapid insti test at 75 days.

Why the rapid test? See, after 65 I was told “there is 1% chance the test is going change” and I kind of thought rationally: if the chances of actually getting it in the first place are impossible to 1:10000000, then the chances of not being accurately found out at 65 days are impossibly small, especially if symptoms started w1. Rationally I thought to myself “something is wrong with you, go see a freekin’doctor”. Based on that, I tried going around “non-HIV” doctors, trying to find out what’s wrong with me but being a person who never goes around doctors, its difficult, even though I have expensive private care: it all takes time. I had normal blood work and its fine and lyme disease negative. I also tried to return back to work which I slowed down significantly over the past month (thankfully I have the most understanding business partner ever and he took over a part of my responsibilities, I am just so lucky with all of these thing!).
But last week I did a lot of travelling (which is a part of my routine), flying to one city, going to meeting and flying to another. Midway though this routine that I actually used to love, my thrush returned in like an acute form, with specs and red bumps all across my inner cheek, I panicked, almost broke down in the middle of an airport (just made it to a hotel where I collapsed on the bed).

So yeah, that’s why the rapid test (couldn’t get anything faster). Anyway, here’s to the actual question: I always said “I have some symptoms” when I go for the test, not really able to tell all the symptoms I have, week after week, because the HIV nurses don’t seem to be that much interested (although they are all great). But if I look at my symptoms, there is nothing but HIV that could cause them which is what is causing my utter panic. Fever, night sweats, thrush, partoitis, meningitis, stiff neck, back pain…spread across 10 weeks when I have been perfectly healthy before? How? Immunity breaks down because of stress and all the funghi and infection come at once? But I live in a stresfull environment and this never happens to me!

I have not told my private GP about my HIV suspicion as she does not seem to be all that understanding. But would you just simply go to the HIV doctor and shout about the symptoms? Saying “I know it was a no risk contact but how can this happen to a healthy individual?” Would you try to find the reason somewhere else? Should I get a PCR test and just force them to do it (I could pay for it but I just haven’t managed to tell them to do it). Should I just try and forget HIV is even a possibility given risk + testing? I know testing beats symptoms but its not full 3 months yet.  Should I mention HIV to my GP?

I want to take a final test…next week this time would be 12 weeks. If I turn POZ then, I will write a book about this.

If anyone read all of this, then: I’m so sorry you had to! ☺ Appreciate any advice!

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: This is a long one. Getting stuff of my chest.
« Reply #7 on: January 23, 2017, 05:47:53 pm »
You had no risk.

HIV is not transmitted this way, and if what you posted was your only concern the results of testing will remain negative. You own doctor is not understanding I am even less understanding. Seek professional face to face support as in a therapist to help you past this irrational concern.

Please do not post or ask about the tests / testing windows or a no risk situation again, I say this from a point of kindness as you just need to move on now and stop focusing/stressing about HIV.

If you post again it will lead to a ban.

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.
« Last Edit: January 23, 2017, 05:50:25 pm by JimDublin »
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Offline Jim Allen

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Re: This is a long one. Getting stuff of my chest.
« Reply #8 on: January 23, 2017, 06:00:16 pm »
Cut the drama

Quote
I want to take a final test…next week this time would be 12 weeks. If I turn POZ then, I will write a book about this.

 ::)

Yes make sure to mention the truth as you would not get HIV from a handjob, if you lie in the book I will be making sure people publicly understand that.

Move on with your life, I mean it seek support.

Jim


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Offline GeorgefromEurope

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Re: This is a long one. Getting stuff of my chest.
« Reply #9 on: January 23, 2017, 06:04:49 pm »
Not wanting a ban, Jim, here's one for you (if it results in a ban, then I'll survive it): Sorry for not merging the threads. And I appreciate your fast, clear, blatant, non-apologetic Irish honesty. I toast a whisky for you. Yeah, whisky, 'cause its Scottish not Irish, but I don't have an Irish one around me right now. So that's a clear ban now, I understand.

Thank YOU!

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: This is a long one. Getting stuff of my chest.
« Reply #10 on: January 23, 2017, 06:22:00 pm »
George.

You are letting a simple handjob rule and ruin your life.

I am unwilling to pretend you had a risk as doing so would only fuel your irrational fears and the fears of others reading this but also create further undue stigma towards people living with HIV.

I am also unwilling to facilitate or be part of this as we can not help you here. You simply do not have a HIV problem and it is beyond the level of support we can provide.

I mean it when i say talk to someone, see your GP and speak to them honestly about the impact this irrational fear is having in your life. If I take your posts as true you are letting this fear have debilitating effects on your daily life, it is wholly unneeded and in my opinion it is not a healthy situation.

You have been banned, I truly do this out of kindness and wish you well.

Jim

« Last Edit: January 23, 2017, 06:34:45 pm by JimDublin »
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Offline GeorgefromEurope

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Re: This is a long one. Getting stuff of my chest.
« Reply #11 on: March 05, 2019, 12:44:35 pm »
hi there,

its been 2.5yrs since I had a 4 month long nervous breakdown which started with a simple handjob. I was looking at my previous posts and boy...what a load of rubbish.

So, to cut things really short: after the nervous breakdown, I managed to snap out of it somehow, 20+ neg hiv tests DIDN'T help but I somehow did it. I recently had an idiotic outing and would just like a bit of reassurance: I visited a CSW, sober. I didn't even let the CSW do a handjob: I touched (stroked) her breasts, hands and legs and then with the same hand I masturbated. That's it. The only thing in my head is that I had a tear around my frenulum which I forgot about and which was bleeding after I masturbated. I know you don't do what ifs so this is what happened: She had a small cut on her body that wasn't healed, I got a little blood on my hand and masturbated (1min after touching the blood)  and got her blood on the frenulum tear, through the masturbation basically massaging it inside. Is it a risk and should I test or is this not warranted for a test? Thanks for any answer!

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: This is a long one. Getting stuff of my chest.
« Reply #12 on: March 05, 2019, 01:08:10 pm »
Your "incident" was not a risk for HIV transmission (even if it happened and I strognly doubt it did)

If HIV could transmit this way its would be classed as contagious not just merely infectious and we would all be locked up in quarantine, no joke!

See regardless of small cuts / wounds or scratches HIV is fragile so much so that well nobody has ever either sexually of from day to day contact been infected the way you fear, your situation/encounter is not an example of a direct pathway to the bloodstream or an effective route, it lacks quantity and on top of all that it is very simple any fluids it came into contact with was not infectious to start with as its exposed outside the human body.

Move on already!

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, every time, no exceptions. Consider starting PrEP as an additional layer of HIV protection going forward

Keep in mind that some sexual practices which may be described as safe in terms of HIV transmission might still pose a risk for acquiring far easier to transmit STI's, so please do get fully tested regularly and at least yearly for all STI's including but not limited to HIV and test more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs

Also note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and the only way of knowing is by testing.

More information on HIV Basics, PEP, TaSP and Transmission can be found through the links in my signature to our POZ pages, this includes information on HIV Testing

Kind regards

Jim

Please Note.
As a member of the AM I Infected Forum you are required to only post in this one thread no matter how long between visits or the subject matter. You can find this thread by going to your profile and selecting show own post and it will take you here . It helps us to help you when you keep all your thoughts or questions in one thread and it helps other readers to follow the discussion. Any additional threads will be deleted
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

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Threads

 


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