Feeling depressed

[pozessed]

Hi,

I've been feeling depressed for past few days about the whole situation. Never before has HIV become a cause of worry for me. I understood and accepted the fact that just taking my medicines regularly would be good enough. However, 6 months back, I had to start taking anti depressant medication because of huge amounts of stress on work front and with my family not accepting me being gay or accepting my partner, it just added on to the stress.
I decided to move to Canada in search of a better life where I might not be judged and then got to know that there are chances of my PR application getting rejected (not 100%) and that has further saddened me. Sometimes I have thoughts about what's the meaning of all this shit and whether things are gonna be better anytime soon.
I have my appointment with my psychiatrist this Saturday and I'm afraid if I should open up to him. I'm tired of eating so many medicines. Just dunno what to do or for how long should I hold on?

[Jim Allen]

Well sorry to hear you are still feeling this way and that the last few days have been additional rough.

I'm tired of eating so many medicines.

Nosy perhaps but what are we talking about here? How many meds are you taking other than your hiv meds?

Also have you let your hiv doctors know how your feeling and do they know your taking antidepressants?

I have my appointment with my psychiatrist this Saturday and I'm afraid if I should open up to him

Why afraid? Or more to the point what are you fearful about telling them and what do you fear would be the result of telling them?

My thoughts would be the psychiatrist can only help if your open about your challenges in life and how you are feeling. They are professionals and do this for a living.

Keep us posted and wishing you strength.

Jim

[pozessed]

Well, apart from my HIV meds, I've been prescribed additional multi vitamins + meds for a skin reaction + my anti depressants...phew!
 My HIV doc knows about the anti depressants that I am taking.

This may sound stupid but I fear if I tell the psychiatrist about whatever is going on in my mind, he might add more medication or continue the medication for a longer period of time. I don't feel like doing anything and just dream that all of this will go away for sometime, may be. I know it won't, but the thought of it sometimes relieves me.

[MarkintheDark]

Sounds to me like, yes, you're under an unusual amount of stress.  I've a lifelong struggle with clinical depression, so I get it.  This isn't just "the blues."

The only concrete suggestion I can make is that there's a site I've used for a few years called depressionforums.org that has a format similar to this one.

[Jim Allen]

. I don't feel like doing anything and just dream that all of this will go away for sometime, may be.

Depression does no just go over.

As for your fear I don't think its stupid at all. Its your concerns and you are entitled to them. Others might not share them that is a different story altogether.

Let me ask you this simple question. How is it current situation, treatment and not telling the doc working for you?

By the sounds of it not very well.

Your depression is not making progress. They might change the dosage, depending on the drugs the dosage simply might need to be increased or perhaps its not the right drug for you based on your needs and a switch is in order.

Here is the thing if you don't tell them what's wrong and how you really feel its really difficult for them to assess you correctly and help you and that is truly what they want to do. See it like this you are only going to get out of the session and treatment if you are putting into it as well.

If I was you I would be open about things including the concerns about pill burden and see what they have to say, they could very much supprise you. Just try to be open about the outcome.

Wishing you strength. Jim

[pozessed]

Thanks for your comforting words. I've an appointment scheduled this Saturday. I have decided that I'm going to open up about my fears and apprehensions to the doc and see what he has to say.

[Jim Allen]

Sounds like a plan and all the best on Saturday

Do keep us posted.

Jim

[pozessed]

Went to the doc today and told him my exact situation. He tried to help me out a bit in addressing my issues. However, more than that, it is my struggle and I've to fight it out myself. Let's see how I'm able to handle things. Thankfully, no additional medications for now. Just the old ones to be continued.

[fabio]

It all feels the very same way to me. I just can't accept the whole fact yet,I have been positive for a year now and am 23. I have been avoiding reality all together ,when it comes to everything I just wanna live in fiction. I don't feel like facing reality most of the time,but I tell myself to pull it together because I still have my family who supports and loves me.