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Off Topic Forums => Off Topic Forum => Topic started by: phildinftlaudy on March 25, 2014, 09:28:48 am
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So...I have been in Ocala since Saturday morning...
Got the call Friday morning that my mother had been taken to the hospital w/ heart pains... I spoke to her by phone and was told to stay put in Miami until they figured out what was going on... that was short-lived....
On Saturday morning at 5 a.m. I got the call that while on the telemetry floor, my mother had flat-lined four times (one time for 7 seconds). She was moved to Intermediate Care Unit and scheduled to have a pacemaker implanted.
I made my way to Ocala Saturday morning and got here in time to be here for mom getting back from the surgery. It went well.
However, she has also been diagnosed w/ pneumonia and the swab of her nose detected MRSA in her nasal passages - so, we have to gown and glove up to be in her room.
She seems to be getting better with the antibiotics they are drowning her in... Her mood was a bit depressed yesterday as she just wants to get better and get home.
As you all know, we don't do well with hospital stays - having lost my dad 3 years ago and my brother just a bit under a year ago...
As for me, I am feeling overwhelmed... Trying to complete several grant projects remotely for my FT job, stay on top of 2 grant projects for my part time job (located in D.C.), finish up grant reviews for a federal agency, and complete tasks (which are very time intense) for MBA program. All while being here in Ocala and bouncing from the hospital to mom's house to take care of the dog.
No other family members are here and I am having to carry the weight of this by myself.
I guess what doesn't kill me will only make me stronger - but dayuuummmmm....
Anyway, hopefully mom will be released tomorrow or Thursday. I had originally planned on being back to work in Miami on Wednesday, but based on yesterday's doctor's report, her discharge date won't come until tomorrow or Thursday at the earliest... So, I am learning to be flexible and that no matter what stresses I feel in regards to work and school, that family comes first and everything will work out exactly the way it is supposed to...
Just giving an update and venting a bit.
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Phil;
Your mom is very fortunate to have your support. I know this is an important time for you with both jobs, and I am wishing you well through this. Take care of yourself too.
Sincerely,
JM
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Phil,
I'm so sorry your Mom is going through all these troubles, and pray that she is on the road to recovery. It sounds like she is getting good treatment. I can only imagine how stressful this is for you. Family is so important, and you are such a caring son. Hang in there.
Hugs,
Henry
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Phew, you have alot on your plate , and given the amount your post read very calm , that is some doing , I am sure that is not how it always feels for you. Hope all calms done for your Mum and she begins to get her strength back at home. Good luck with the grant applications , .I like your priorities , and your Mum sounds sound telling you at first to hold your horses , so good luck with it all.
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Phil, I am so sorry to read this. Just for the record, most people have mrsa in their nasal passages. An infectious disease doctor told me this. Not that your mom shouldn't be treated, but I wouldn't get too worried about that.
You are a good son. And you're building good karma. I know you can handle what is being thrown at you; just remember to take care of yourself. Easier said than done I know, but please don't go crazy. We're here if you need to vent.
Betty
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Phil,
Im so sorry that your mum is in hospital again.Please try to rest when you can , as you need your strength too.You are absolutely right when you say family first and im sure that your mum appreciates you for always being there for her.
You are both in my thoughts.
britchickxx
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Phil, you and your mother will be in my thoughts . Hugs .
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Phil,
Sorry to hear about your mom. You and she have certainly been through a lot, in a short time. Hoping all the best for a speedy recovery. It is good she went to the hospital, as so many just do the wait and see.
She is certainly lucky to have you by her side. Hope you are eating fairly well, so you don't get down physically on top of all the emotional issues.
Thinking of you both,
Ted
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Update:
Mom came home from hospital on Friday afternoon.
I returned to Miami last night so that I can take care of some things at the job and get some fresh clothes, etc (I had only taken 2 outfits to Ocala with me.... sad to say, but I fit right in with those two outfits) ;)
Since Mom has gotten home, I have become a pseudo-CNA.... I know how to do her blood pressure, check her blood sugar, prep her medicine, change out her oxygen (that she is on - we hope it is temporary), check her oxygen levels, etc. etc.
Plan is for me to put in for FMLA today and go back to Ocala to tend to her (I have a neighbor looking after her until I get back this evening)... She needs someone there with her 24-hours right now to monitor oxygen, diabetes, etc. and help her move around house (she can't lift over 8 pounds), do errands, take her to doctors appts (she can't drive for at least 3 weeks), cook, handle her medication management, etc.
It is basically like a full-time job.... but I don't mind.... I just want to see her get better and it is really hard to see her "age" so much in just a matter of weeks...
In addition to the oxygen, she is now using a walker to get around, and is on additional meds in addition to the pharmacy of meds she was already on...
So, I will take leave until April 18th - returning physically to work (after today) on April 21st.
I put out a call for reinforcements to my younger brother and sister who live up North (Illinois and PA, respectively) to come down after my time frame is up, but to no avail. Heck, I can't even get my younger brother to call on the phone to check and see how she is except every 3-4 days.
While the FMLA will put a slight dent in finances and being up in Ocala uproots me a bit from things here in South Florida, one thing I learned from going through my dad's and brother's illnesses and subsequent passing is that family comes first.
I could not see myself not doing what I need to do to assist my mother right now - especially after all she has done for me and the sacrifices she made to raise 4 children.
Things are looking like she will make a good recovery - we should have additional information on her health outlook later today after she sees the cardiologist (he needs to see if the fluid around her heart has went down more - if it has, that is good news; if it hasn't, or if it has increase, that would not be so good, as it would indicate CHF - congestive heart failure)... But, we are both keeping a positive outlook for good results.
Thanks for the supportive posts. Mom is also appreciative of them (I read them to her and she always smiles when I do so).
Oh, and her poodle tried to bite me the other day... I told mom that had he done so, I would have been at the urgent care getting a tetanus shot and he would have been at the vet getting fitted for dentures (as I would have busted his teeth out). ;) Dayummm poodles.
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Phil, I am amazed at your strength through all this. Did your mother's doctor order visiting nurse care for your mother? I'm asking because Medicare covers this up to a certain length of time, and it may give you a break. Just a thought.
Hang in there, we're with you.
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You are a good man Phil . Thanks for the update .
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Moms improving is awesome. Son being supercaregiver is sweet. Poodles are evil little rats.
Hang in there man, seriously
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That's a lot of stuff going on there Phil. Hope you are able to get some help with your mother's care. Just be sure to take care of yourself along the way.
My thoughts are with you both.
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I put out a call for reinforcements to my younger brother and sister who live up North (Illinois and PA, respectively) to come down after my time frame is up, but to no avail. Heck, I can't even get my younger brother to call on the phone to check and see how she is except every 3-4 days.
Your siblings are appalling, considering they've done this repeatedly with your brother and father.
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Sorry that you are not getting more help from your siblings Phil...That is sad to hear. I hope your mom will be better and that your health will not suffer. Stay well dear friend and keep me posted anytime you want to talk.
Jody
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Thanks for the up date and Hello Mother of Phil, perhaps your siblings can make up the shortfall in your earnings as they are unable to contribute time . Apart from that bit and the poodle,s jealousy it was a fine update to read. Hope the coming days for both off you continue to progress well and please read my post to the siblings as well because I am sure they will be only too wiling to contribute in that manner.
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My mother is back in hospital... Rushed here by ambulance a few hours ago. Looks like atrial afib and possibly sepsis.... Trying my best to get through this.... One year ago on April 3rd my brother went into hospital. Mom isn't looking good right now... Hoping they find out and take care of whatever is going on....and yes, I am very worried right now.
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Sorry for this Phil . Hang in there and know we are all thinking of you . (((Phil)))
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Phil,
I am sorry to hear this.We will be keeping both of you in our thoughts.
Ray and Ed
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So sorry to read this. I just posted to Zach and I will repeat what I wrote there. So many times many of us read and follow posts like yours and always, always hope for the best. So sending you and your Mom the best. Perhaps I will get better at this!
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Phil
So sorry to hear this. Hoping she recovers quickly.
Thinking of you both!!
Hugs,
Mike
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Thinking of you and your mother, Phil
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Phil,
I am sorry to hear mom has had a set back. Sending my positive thoughts she will get through this just fine.
Take care as best ya can.
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You're doing amazingly, Phil. Pulling for you and your Mom to get through this successfully. Hoping you find some moments of relief during this very trying time.
xol
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Dearest Phil...You and your mom are in my thoughts during these trying times for you. Keep yourself in good health dear man and speak to you soon.
Jody
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I,m sorry,
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So sorry to hear this. Sending you a big hug!
Mark
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Sorry to hear your mom's taken a turn for the worse. Hopefully the hospital can turn things around for her.
Remember to take care of yourself during this time, too, so you can continue to support her.
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very sad to hear this Phil ..... do try to get some outside help....and take care of yourself....
Nick
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My mother is in intensive care unit -
She had emergency surgery yesterday to remove about 1/2 liter of fluid from around heart.
Touch and go right now.
Sister just got here about an hour ago
Brother flying in today.
Relatives arriving throughout the day.
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Phil, I am sorry - its good you will have some other family around. My thoughts are with you through this.
JM
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Phil,
Im so sorry to hear that your mum is back in hospital, but glad that your family are coming to support both of you.
britchickxx
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It,s good to hear you are no longer alone Phil, I wish all off you the best during this ,
take care
m
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Mom still in hospital (ICU)
A bit more alert.
Siblings here.
Breathing tube still in - will do trial run to see if it can be removed today.
Still waiting for pathology reports to come back.
Thanks for the support and positive thoughts.
Phil
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Hope this differcult time is bringing out the best in everyone.
Take care all
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My mother came off the ventilator yesterday morning
By afternoon, she was sitting in chair along side the bed and eating jello and soft foods...drinking iced tea...
Still has tube in draining fluid - but that may came out tomorrow.
She may be moved to a cardiac unit room today - out of the ICU, if all goes well.
She is in good spirits - smiling, joking...
Still waiting for pathology reports to return in a day or two
Reinforcements will be here until Sunday AM - then it will just be mom and me again... with others on stand-by...
Thanks again for everyone's support, kind words, and positive thoughts...
Keep 'em coming, as I believe that they give mom that added boost.
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Great update! Good thoughts continuing for you both.......
Hugs
M
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Great news, Phil! Hopefully things will continue to improve!
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Well Done Mother off Phil , you are on a roller coaster at the moment glad you want to keep riding it , enjoy the love from your family and make sure you leave the hospital hail and hearty . What a lovely way to start the day reading this update, take care all ,
Michael
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I have been following you on FB and know this has been a rough go of it. It great to read there is improvement and lets keep things moving in the right direction. Sending you my best!
J
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Update:
While mom is alert and eating soft foods, she is still in ICU
Unfortunately, the meds have taken a toll on her kidneys - some kidney failure beginning to occur - doctors are addressing this...
She also has two blood clots in her left arm - doctors are treating this...
She still has fluid on lungs - they may go in on Monday and drain it...
One thing after another...
My brother left yesterday, sister, brother-in-law and aunt leave tomorrow and cousin leaves Sunday -
I will be back to being on my own --- but, we will make it work (in the words of Tim Gunn)
Thanks for the continued positive thoughts and support.
Definitely a tiring time - but I am remaining optimistic that all will work out - just takes time - and I am glad she is getting good care at the hospital.
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Phil I am so sorry . Please take care of you along the way best you can . Hugs .
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Phil,
Sending you and your mum my best wishes and you have our support here.
britchickxxx
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Hey Phil; I am thinking of you and your mom, JM
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Phil,
I'm sorry to hear your mother is facing so many challenges, and am praying for both you and her to get through this.
Hugs,
Henry
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Hello Phil, I am sorry that this is looking like an extended stay in the Hospital for your Mum but pleased that you are happy that there care is good , this is very familiar to me from my own Parents bouts off Hospital Care , I am glad I spent as much time as I could with them there . All the best to you both , m
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love moms, positive healing vibes
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Mom has been placed back on ventilator... Three more blood clots found in her windpipe area... More fluid on heart... Sister flying back tonight. Open heart surgery may be done tomorrow. I can't stop crying.
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Im so sorry Phil ... :'(
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oh Phil , so sorry
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(((((Phil))))) :(
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phil, i really want to thank you for taking the time to show me support the past couple of weeks during your own time of troubles. my heart breaks at what you're going through, i sit here next to a picture of my mother and thinking about your pain makes me choke up. i pray for your mothers peace and comfort, and i know your strength is being greatly tested, but you will not fold under this
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Phil,
Im so sorry to hear your news about your mums health.Im also glad that your sister is flying back again as you need your family around you.Stay strong.We are all thinking about you and your mum.
britchickxx
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Phil, My heart goes out to you,
JM
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Mom has been placed back on ventilator... Three more blood clots found in her windpipe area... More fluid on heart... Sister flying back tonight. Open heart surgery may be done tomorrow. I can't stop crying.
Here's to you and your family receiving the comfort and strength you need at this time.
Peace.
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I know from personal experience that even though things are not going so great our Moms have such persistence and determination. God knows where they get it from but I wish for just one quarter of it on any given day. Best to you and your Mom and remember you need to take care of yourself, you have siblings and they need to step up to the plate as well! Be well, you and your Mom!
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(((((HUGS)))))
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Phil
So sorry to hear this. Please know that you are in my thoughts... I wish I was closer so that I could look in on you.
Sending healing thoughts and a big, cyber HUG
Hugs,
M
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Phil,
Your mom and you remain in my thoughts. Take care of yourself as best as is possible. I hope your sister's return will bring you support you need right now.
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I hope you and your family well during this difficult time.
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((((((Phil))))))
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Update on my mother:
On Saturday, my sister, brother-in-law, and aunt made the drive back from Florida to PA
On Sunday morning I took my cousin to the Gainesville airport at 4 am for her flight back to PA
Later Sunday morning, hospital called to say my mother was very lethargic...
She was placed back on ventilator and on continuous dialysis - kidneys failed...
By Sunday evening I was picking my sister up from the Orlando airport at 10:30 pm - got back to the house at midnight (21 hour day....)
Monday morning the doctor told us that over the next 24 to 48 hours we would have to decide whether to remove mom from life support (vent and dialysis)...
Was very distraught - I cried, I cried, I prayed, I cried some more...
I was preparing to sign DNR for mom when she grabbed my hand and kept me from moving toward the nurse to sign it.. Mom was not giving up and obviously did not want us to give up...
By Tuesday evening, mom was off ventilator, breathing on her own and off continuous dialysis...
The doctors say it is a miracle and that she must have had lots of people praying for her...
We are still not sure if her kidneys have kicked back in yet - that will be assessed later today...
She is getting a bit weak again and there is some noticeable swelling occuring in her arm...
She is also not eating... Here at the house, her dog has also quit eating..
This morning at the hospital my mother said that my grandmother (her mother) who has been deceased since 1981, was sitting in the chair in the room telling my mother to come with her - my mother says that she told her that she was not ready to leave her children yet...
We are still remaining prayful.... the situation is still very much touch and go...
I had to go to the ER yesterday - downstairs from the ICU to have a cyst under my arm that had decided to get infected and swell to the size of a golf ball shot up w/ lidocaine and cut open to drain it - I am now on antibiotics for the infection and have to go tomorrow to get the packing taken out of the incision area...
Don't know where things are headed....
When they start looking up there always seems to be a turn and when they are looking down there always seems to be a turn...
Trying to maintain - feeling a range of emotions -
All over the place and finding it hard to focus on any one thing for very long.
Keep mom in your thoughts, your prayers (if you pray)
and, if you would, also keep us in those same thoughts and prayers....
Love my mother and just want her to be well. Have had too much loss and pain in the past 3 years....
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You all will continue to be in my thoughts .
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your moms is a fighter, i love that!... no matter how things go, she's on her terms. you are being a great son. i will pray for her, i still remember how. i'm tired of people hurting. i want to see some healing and happiness. i want to hear about moms healthy.
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Sorry that I haven't been a good friend of late and reached out to you. You both are definitely in my thoughts and I'm sending the best positive energy I can muster.
hugs
greg
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Phil, I am thinking of, hoping for, and praying for you and your mom.
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Phil,
You and your mum remain in my thoughts.
britchickxxx
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Phil --
Know that you and mom continue to be in my thoughts -- sending as much positive energy as I can muster!!
Hugs,
Mike
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Thanks all for continued thoughts, prayers, supportive words -
Mom is getting dialysis right now
We are still waiting for her stomach to "wake up" and allow her to eat and tolerate food --- Right now she is not eating much at all - because the stomach is 'sleeping' and isn't sending message to the brain that she is hungry and in need of food...
Taking things a day at a time - sometimes a few hours at a time...
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Rest assured Phil that the hopes for you and your Mothers health continue with in our community. Thanks for the regular updates , and hears to your Mama,s growing health.
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Thinking of you, Phil. Hoping for you and your Mom to get through this very tough time as best as possible.
Big hugs, buddy.
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I think of both of you daily Phil. Hugs.
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Phil, you take it one minute at a time if you need to. Just please take care of yourself and make sure you're getting some support as well. Thinking of you, your mom, and your whole family.
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Mom is still not eating much
She is now suffering from what appears to be ICU psychosis - she does not recognize who I am or my sister.
We showed her pictures of her granddaughter and asked who it was - Mom said "that is my beautiful granddaughter, Brittany."
I have read up on ICU psychosis - so, we are hoping to put in some things to treat it -
We are hoping they move her to a regular room soon so she can get some additional stimulation that will be beneficial and not the ICU stimulation and/or lack of it that can cause this.
Very difficult to have your mother not recognize you.
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Very difficult to have your mother not recognize you.
:'( thats hard man. i'm so sorry. she recognizes the little ones, and that is sweet. hang onto that. its the love she has for her family, all of you, even if her mind is clouded, she still loves
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Mom is still not eating much
She is now suffering from what appears to be ICU psychosis - she does not recognize who I am or my sister.
We showed her pictures of her granddaughter and asked who it was - Mom said "that is my beautiful granddaughter, Brittany."
I have read up on ICU psychosis - so, we are hoping to put in some things to treat it -
We are hoping they move her to a regular room soon so she can get some additional stimulation that will be beneficial and not the ICU stimulation and/or lack of it that can cause this.
Very difficult to have your mother not recognize you.
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It is and I am sorry this is now a feature. Its not just ICU that causes problems the older we get the brain/blood thing seems to get very porous. Urine infections often come to light in the 65+ due to sudden distressing behaviour. It was very much a feature of my Mother,s stay,s in Hospital , it can be so sudden , I found that part hard.
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My mother is being moved to hospice tomorrow
No other words right now.
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Im thinking of you and your family daily Phil . :-X
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Take and give care, I,m sorry Phil.
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My thoughts are with you Phil
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I'm sorry Phil.
I went through this 2 years ago with my mom, so If I can profer any advice It would be to spend as much time as you can with her in these remaining days. Each day you have with her is a gift. Sit with her, hold her hand, make her laugh, read to her, watch TV with her. Comfort her. Hug her. Tell her what she means to you and what a great mother she is.
This is a terribly hard, heart wrenching time, It will not be easy. But the memories you make with her will comfort you in those moments when you miss her after she has passed.
I pray for strength for you and your family.
Let me know If I can do anything.
Hugs
Will
Ps- Also remember to take some time for yourself each day.
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More hugs. No words. :'(
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You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers... :'(
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Just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and your Mom! What a great son you are. Be well!
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Phil.......
My thoughts are with you and mom. I know these are tough times, but know we are all here if you need anything.
Hugs,
Mike
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very sad time Phil... when Mom doesnt recognize you.... just be there for her..you have lots of friends here wishing for the best outcomes for you and her...
Nick
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Oh Phil, I'm so sorry. Will is right to advise spending as much time as you can with your mom. When my mom had Hospice, I stayed at my parents' home with her. I was there when she actually passed, and can say it made me feel more comforted.
Moms are the hardest to lose when you've been close to them. I'm wishing peace for you and your family. Please take care and reach out as you need to.
Betty
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((((I'm thinking of you at this difficult time.))))
britchickxx
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Hugs to you in this very difficult time.
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Every one I am sure still checks in Phil , Will,s words are beautiful and I hope that your Mum is available to receive this care.
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I spoke to Phil around noon today -- I'm sure he'll post an update but he's really exhausted. Basically his mother is slightly better, didn't go into hospice and is out of ICU but still in the hospital. Her kidneys seem to be coming back enough that the prognosis has improved, but far from "out of the woods" yet and will probably be in this lesser care floor for another month possibly, assuming things continue on an upward tract.
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Thanks for the update miss P,
Phil, I'm thinking of you,
Mark
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Mom update:
My mother was transferred to a short-term rehab here in Ocala yesterday afternoon...
Doctors are hopeful that she will regain kidney functions and come off dialysis...
They are really calling her recovery a miracle --- Four weeks ago we were told that she only had 48 hours of life left... and about 3 or so weeks ago she was preparing to go to hospice...
Me - I am still in Ocala. I have officially signed on as a co-leassee at my mother's adult community (yep - I am old enough - Although, I am now one of the youngest people in the park - which consists of approx. 500 double-wide homes).
I may be making a semi-permanent move here - however, we are taking all of that a day at a time...
If I do go that route, I will continue working remotely for DC (with intentions still to move up that way when the timing is appropriate).
I am most likely going to be leaving my position w/ my employer in Miami (still debating on that for the time-being - will finalize my decision soon).
I should be done w/ my MBA by the end of this month - I am on my last assignment - It got delayed a bit due to the family crisis....
I have plans to go down to South Florida tomorrow and stay for a few days to check on my place and take care of some things down that way (I am still dealing w/ probate issues related to my brother's passing last year).
I also have to get some documents together so I can officially get enrolled in VA healthcare up this way (it seems that the South Florida VA - where I thought I was enrolled, doesn't communicate w/ this region of VA, so I have to do the enrollment here to make them my preferred provider.... I never have had to use my VA health benefits, as I had employer-sponsored insurance, so this will require a transition of care from U. of Miami to here.) I did get my labs done here a few weeks ago and everything is still looking good (VL = UD; CD4s took a bit of a hit going from high 800s to low 600s - but that is probably attributable to stress)
Still plugging away and interested to see how things continue to unfold over the next few weeks/months.....
Mom should be home from rehab the beginning of June.
Thanks for the continued thoughts and support.
Phil
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glad to hear moms is well, and you guys are planning for the future, not preparing for the worst. good luck on career decisions and finalizing school stuffs. hope things continue to brighten for you
happy late mudders day to her
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Good to hear from you.I'm so glad that your mum is doing a lot better.Please take care of yourself too as you can't do it all by yourself.
britchickxx