POZ Community Forums

HIV Prevention and Testing => Do I Have HIV? => Topic started by: thewho546 on June 30, 2007, 01:39:57 pm

Title: Experts, help needed. very worried
Post by: thewho546 on June 30, 2007, 01:39:57 pm
This is my first post here, and I am very worried.

About 5 weeks ago, i made the biggest mistake of my life. I had sex for the first time, unprotected sex with a woman. She was  a nice girl, and she said she got tested for stds every 2 months. (i think that would include HIV).

Last week I had an upset stomach and could not sleep. They have now gone away. I have no fever, no diarrhea, no sweating, but my body feels weak.

I feel tired and the thing that worries me is that i think I have thrush. No swollen lymph nodes, but I get tired more easily when playing sports. I am so worried, thanks for all your help
Title: Re: Experts, help needed. very worried
Post by: ACinKC on June 30, 2007, 02:08:26 pm
one simple answer....you need to get tested.  You had unprotected sex and HIV is nothing to guess about.  The symptoms mean nothing regarding HIV. 

Wait the requisite 13 weeks and go get your test.  Odds are in your favor of testing negative as HIV is fragile and difficult to transmit, especially from female to male.

Try to stay busy and not surf the internet looking for "signs", it wil just make the waiting worse for you.

Also, be sure to use condoms from now on and you wont have to worry about HIV again.
Title: Re: Experts, help needed. very worried
Post by: Bucko on June 30, 2007, 02:37:04 pm
This is my first post here, and I am very worried.

About 5 weeks ago, i made the biggest mistake of my life. I had sex for the first time, unprotected sex with a woman. She was  a nice girl, and she said she got tested for stds every 2 months. (i think that would include HIV). 

Who-

AC is absolutely correct in his risk assessment: get tested at 13 weeks post-incident. It's the only way to be sure.

But I really want to suggest you reconsider this whole "biggest mistake" thing. Sex is not bad, it's actually wonderful. HIV is bad. Unprotected sex with an HIV+ partner can lead to infection, so outside the bounds of a long-term, monogamous relationship (to which both parties are absolutely committed), unprotected sex is risky.

Since you don't want to risk your health, stick with using condoms and plenty of water-soluble lube for vaginal and/or anal sex and you'll be fine.

Brent
(Who believes in the joys of sex)
Title: Re: Experts, help needed. very worried
Post by: thewho546 on June 30, 2007, 02:42:25 pm
i know, I always plan to use condoms. I was drunk at the time, I just hope I dont have Hiv after one time.
Title: Re: Experts, help needed. very worried
Post by: Ann on June 30, 2007, 03:16:01 pm
Who,

The odds are in your favour of testing negative - although yes, you have had a risk.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL STIs together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with a sexually transmitted infection. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Symptoms, or even the lack of symptoms will tell you nothing about your hiv status. The only way to know your hiv status is through testing. The appropriate time to test is three months after your last unprotected incident.

Ann
Title: Re: Experts, help needed. very worried
Post by: thewho546 on June 30, 2007, 06:08:21 pm
I think Im screwed. My tounge is white
Title: Re: Experts, help needed. very worried
Post by: RapidRod on June 30, 2007, 06:42:54 pm
My neighbors baby has a white tongue.
Title: Re: Experts, help needed. very worried
Post by: thewho546 on June 30, 2007, 06:44:44 pm
yeah but I had unprotected sex
Title: Re: Experts, help needed. very worried
Post by: Ann on June 30, 2007, 06:54:36 pm
Who,

Primary hiv infection does not turn one's tongue white.

If you're concerned about the state of your tongue, show it to your doctor or dentist. It's nothing to do with hiv.

Stop inspecting your body, trying to identify reasons to believe you've been infected. Only testing will tell you what the score is and that score is most likely negative.

Ann
Title: Re: Experts, help needed. very worried
Post by: thewho546 on June 30, 2007, 06:59:49 pm
but white tongue, means thrush, and thrush is a huge symptom of HIV. I hope im not bothering you guys, im just so worried
Title: Re: Experts, help needed. very worried
Post by: Matty the Damned on June 30, 2007, 07:06:52 pm
White tongue means nothing of the sort. Many things can cause a white tongue, not just thrush. In any event thrush is not a "huge symptom of HIV". HIV negative people often get thrush.

MtD
Title: Re: Experts, help needed. very worried
Post by: thewho546 on June 30, 2007, 11:23:33 pm
thank you guys, but I have been researching and I dont see anything else that would cause my tongue to turn white

Im thinking of going to get tested next week, good idea?
Title: Re: Experts, help needed. very worried
Post by: Matty the Damned on July 01, 2007, 12:11:25 am
As you've been told already, the window period is 13 weeks. Most people who are going to test positive will do so by the 6 week mark, but for a conclusive negative result you have to wait 13 weeks.

I am confident you'll test negative at the 13 week mark.

MtD
Title: Re: Experts, help needed. very worried
Post by: thewho546 on July 02, 2007, 03:18:59 am
Im sry i keep wasting your guy's time, i promise this will be the last question.

Its just that my throat is starting to hurt and its hard to swallow sometimes, i just want to get this test over with. Should I wait or take the test since its been 6 weeks?
Title: Re: Experts, help needed. very worried
Post by: Ann on July 02, 2007, 04:09:04 am
who,

You can take a six week test if you like. The vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six weeks, with the average time to seroconversion being only 22 days. A six week negative will need to be confirmed at three months, but is unlikely to change.

If your throat continues to give you problems, see your doctor. It is not likely to be hiv related.

Ann
Title: Re: Experts, help needed. very worried
Post by: thewho546 on July 03, 2007, 03:52:00 pm
sry Im back. I was on to the doctors office yesterday and turned around. I decided to take on of those take home tests, instead. Is that a good idea?

also last night I think my feet were tingling, and I have been researching and I have some of the symptoms. Any chance I might come out of this lucky?
Title: Re: Experts, help needed. very worried
Post by: Bucko on July 03, 2007, 04:37:37 pm
Who-

Home tests are accurate, for sure. But poz or neg (and I'm certain you'll turn out neg), there are follow-up counseling/referral services when it's done at a testing facility. Personally I think those services put your results into perspective that calling an automated line cannot provide.

One way or the other, get tested.

Brent
(Who remembers his test very well)
Title: Re: Experts, help needed. very worried
Post by: Andy Velez on July 03, 2007, 04:37:46 pm
Like all other symptoms (or the absence of them), tingling feet mean absolutely nothing in relation to HIV. They are in no way HIV specific and may as likely be from anxiety as much as anything else. That's something to discuss with your doctor.

Given what you have described + the difficulty of transmitting HIV from female to male, (even assuming the woman you were with is HIV+), the odds of your having become infected from a single such episode are overwhelmingly in your favor AGAINST it having occured.

As long as the Home Test is FDA approved you can rely on the result. You didn't mention specifically which one it is. For a reliable result you do need to test at 13 weeks, but a negative at 6 weeks is going to be a good sign. It is very unlikely to change at 13 weeks.

Cheers,
Title: Re: Experts, help needed. very worried
Post by: thewho546 on July 08, 2007, 12:07:24 am
hi I have one last question. DO any of you know where I can find a map of the lymph nodes or how to tell if they're swollen?

thanks
Title: Re: Experts, help needed. very worried
Post by: Matty the Damned on July 08, 2007, 01:05:34 am
Who,

Lymph nodes swell for all sorts of reasons, including when they're constantly prodded and poked. It's best to leave the examination of ones nodes to a doctor.

MtD
Title: Re: Experts, help needed. very worried
Post by: thewho546 on July 10, 2007, 01:52:43 am
thanks for all your help. i took the test a couple two days ago. It is hell waiting for the result, I truly think Im positive.

Do you guys think these are Hiv symptoms. my calfs are hurting me and I have had a runny nose the past couple days
Title: Re: Experts, help needed. very worried
Post by: Matty the Damned on July 10, 2007, 02:12:03 am
Who,

We've told you on numerous occasions that symptoms mean nothing when it comes to diagnosing HIV infection. The important issue here is that you had unprotected sex and you need to have a test done at 13 weeks from that of that unprotected sexual encounter.

That advice is not going to change. If your feet are sore, your nose is runny, your calves tingly or whatever else you need to discuss that with your doctor.

As we've also told you the likelihood of you testing positive is quite remote. I fully expect your test result to be negative and so should you. That's my expert opinion, mate.

MtD
Title: Re: Experts, help needed. very worried
Post by: thewho546 on July 10, 2007, 06:49:22 pm
thanks matt for all the help. I have one question I have been wondering this question for some time.

Does it hurt that in the same night I had sex with her more than once?
Title: Re: Experts, help needed. very worried
Post by: Bucko on July 10, 2007, 07:16:31 pm
It only "hurts" if she was HIV+, which you do not know.

I have every reason to believe that you'll come back negative. Let us know when you get your results.

Brent
(Who hopes Who stops obsessing)
Title: Re: Experts, help needed. very worried
Post by: thewho546 on July 11, 2007, 04:27:51 am
what is considered drastic weight loss?
Title: Re: Experts, help needed. very worried
Post by: Ann on July 11, 2007, 05:34:06 am
who,

Stop the symptom hunting right now. We won't play that game with you here.

My partner and I were together for eighteen months before we discovered my positive hiv status. We did not use condoms during that time and as in any new relationship, we had a fair amount of sex. We use condoms now and eight years later, we're still together and he's still hiv negative.

Hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus and more so from a woman to a man. I'm fully expecting you to test negative after this one night of passion and so should you.

Ann
Title: Re: Experts, help needed. very worried
Post by: thewho546 on July 11, 2007, 08:38:21 am
ive got one more  question. If hiv is so hard to transmit than why is it so widespread in the world? Im just wondering. What is the most common method of spreading
Title: Re: Experts, help needed. very worried
Post by: Matty the Damned on July 11, 2007, 08:39:58 am
Because sex is a popular pastime Who, especially the unprotected variety.

MtD
Title: Re: Experts, help needed. very worried
Post by: thewho546 on July 11, 2007, 12:22:26 pm
i was at the doctors today, is this a  good sign?

she said i didnt have thrush and i gained 4 pounds in a week
Title: Re: Experts, help needed. very worried
Post by: Ann on July 11, 2007, 02:09:31 pm
Who,

Yes, it's good that you don't have thrush, but a good "sign"? We don't do "sign" reading here, we just go by the science of hiv transmission and testing.

Neither the presence NOR the absence of any symptoms means a darned thing when it comes to hiv infection. Please try to  understand that. Keep yourself productively busy - go mow the lawn or something - and stay off internet hiv websites while you wait for the appropriate time to test.

Ann
Title: Re: Experts, help needed. very worried
Post by: thewho546 on July 11, 2007, 11:30:05 pm
thanks ann, i just cant help read the topics in this forums and realize how many people got hiv from just one unprotected experience. How long do you think i still have to wait for my result?
Title: Re: Experts, help needed. very worried
Post by: Matty the Damned on July 11, 2007, 11:49:17 pm
How long do you think i still have to wait for my result?

Lorda mercy! The window period is 13 weeks. So you wait 13 weeks from the date that you last had unprotected anal or vaginal sex.

Do the sums, kid.

MtD
Title: Re: Experts, help needed. very worried
Post by: thewho546 on July 11, 2007, 11:57:16 pm
i already took the test 3 days ago, i still havent got the result. Is that bad?
Title: Re: Experts, help needed. very worried
Post by: Matty the Damned on July 11, 2007, 11:59:01 pm
No honey, I don't think it's bad. I thought you were still waiting out the 13 week window period. HIV antibody blood test results can take a couple of weeks to come back in some places.

MtD
Title: Re: Probably wrong board but could use some advice
Post by: thewho546 on July 12, 2007, 04:23:07 am
i always promised myself i was going to use protection. I was about to have sex for the first time and I made the same mistake you made, was drunk and forgot to use a condom. Hopefully i come out lucky as you and my test comes back negative, but now i know the scare of it.
Title: Re: Experts, help needed. very worried
Post by: thewho546 on July 12, 2007, 04:24:26 am
I know i keep bothering you guys with symptoms  and i must be the craziest guy you ahve ever seen on these forums, but it seems that after i drink a soda or eat meat i get an upset stomach. Could this be caused from HIV?
Title: Re: Probably wrong board but could use some advice
Post by: Matty the Damned on July 12, 2007, 04:30:42 am
Who,

You've been here long enough to know the rules. You're required to stay in your own thread. Please don't post in other peoples threads.

MtD
Title: Re: Experts, help needed. very worried
Post by: RapidRod on July 12, 2007, 06:10:53 am
I know i keep bothering you guys with symptoms  and i must be the craziest guy you ahve ever seen on these forums, but it seems that after i drink a soda or eat meat i get an upset stomach. Could this be caused from HIV?

We don't do symptoms here on this forum and the answer to the soda in no.
Title: Re: Experts, help needed. very worried
Post by: Ann on July 12, 2007, 06:51:15 am
who,

I removed the post you made in another person's thread. Read our Welcome thread, as you've been repeatedly asked to do, and pay attention to our forum posting guidelines. Stay out of other people's threads.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Ann
Title: Re: Experts, help needed. very worried
Post by: thewho546 on July 12, 2007, 06:54:00 am
sry about that. Forgot about that rule
Title: Re: Experts, help needed. very worried
Post by: Ann on July 12, 2007, 07:02:54 am
who,

You need to realise that you're more likely to find a winning lottery ticket, worth millions, lying in the gutter outside your house than you are to test positive after this incident. I'm not saying it's impossible, but it is highly improbable.

As I said to you yesterday, stay off internet hiv sites and stop searching yourself for "symptoms". Stay busy and the time until you can have a conclusive test will be here before you know it.

Now go mow your lawn already!

Ann
Title: Re: Experts, help needed. very worried
Post by: thewho546 on July 13, 2007, 06:02:42 pm
my test came back today at 7 weeks, negative on everything. Hopefully it doesnt change

thank you guys for everything, i dont know what i would have done with out your help. Good luck
Title: Re: Experts, help needed. very worried
Post by: thewho546 on July 13, 2007, 11:45:23 pm
sry guys I have one last question. Someone else posted this on another forums=

Yes.....it most likely will change. You should have been told by the doctor's office that you won't get REAL results until it's been 6 months. It takes 6 months for a viral load to be detectable.....if there is one. So, you need to go back at that time.

Any truth to this?
Title: Re: Experts, help needed. very worried
Post by: Matty the Damned on July 14, 2007, 12:10:08 am
Listen if you want to go visiting other forums and getting bullshit information like that, then you're welcome to it. We're not responsible for the arrant rubbish that might be posted on other sites.

All we deal with is the scientifically verifiable truth. We've answered all of your questions.

MtD