POZ Community Forums

Main Forums => Someone I Care About Has HIV => Topic started by: er1234 on December 18, 2012, 07:04:24 am

Title: My bf told me he is HIV after 17months
Post by: er1234 on December 18, 2012, 07:04:24 am
My beautiful boyfriend of two years has told me he is HIV+. He advised me he has had it for over 17 months and feared telling me.

I never picked up on it an never saw him go through any emotions.

I got tested straight away and I am neg.

How do I sort out my anger, fears & frustration so I can deal with this?

 :'(
Title: Re: My bf told me he is HIV after 17months
Post by: TabooPrincess on December 18, 2012, 12:09:24 pm
I'm sorry you feel so sad - but I bet your boyfriend struggled every single second of every single day about how/when to tell you.  Probably suffered anxiety, fear, paranoia that you may find out some other way than him telling you.

Your relationship, if you allow it, can now be stronger and closer than ever before because he has felt able to open to you and tell you his biggest ever secret fear whilst also knowing he may get rejected and lose you.

Be there.  Support him.  I feel for you, it must be a shock - but imagine what he's been going through whilst trying to protect you from this shock.
Title: Re: My bf told me he is HIV after 17months
Post by: mecch on December 18, 2012, 12:38:54 pm
My beautiful boyfriend of two years has told me he is HIV+. He advised me he has had it for over 17 months and feared telling me.

I never picked up on it an never saw him go through any emotions.

I got tested straight away and I am neg.

How do I sort out my anger, fears & frustration so I can deal with this?

 :'(

Well its a shock.

But please, can you give specifics - what are you angry about?
And the fear is what?
And the frustration is what?

Thanks.
Title: Re: My bf told me he is HIV after 17months
Post by: Rockin on December 18, 2012, 02:35:54 pm
I understand her (his?) frustrations.

We HIV+ should always man up and tell our partners about it, as painful and awkward as it might be.

er1234, how was the conversation with him? How is he doing, health-wise? During those months were you two doing unprotected sex?