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Author Topic: This is how you stop bullying  (Read 22981 times)

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Offline Grasshopper

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This is how you stop bullying
« on: March 16, 2011, 09:18:54 am »
Casey Heynes had enough of being bullied :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlfokvjooZw

Offline hope_for_a_cure

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #1 on: March 16, 2011, 10:18:54 am »
I was on the receiving end of verbal bullying when I was in grade school.  It does have an affect on kids and makes going to school a living hell at times.  The problem seems to be worse for these kids today though and retaliation now comes through the use of guns in some instances.  I will confess that I faked a few stomach aches just to get out of going to school. 

The bully in that clip did get what he deserved and I wonder if it actually caused him to stop.  I would guess that many of the young bullies grow up to become true assholes when they reach adulthood. 

Offline Joe K

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #2 on: March 16, 2011, 10:48:09 am »
I can so relate to what Casey did. I was being bullied in the 8th grade, by a kid who thought he was so tough. As I was leaving school, he tried to start a fight with me and when I turned my back, he jumped on me. I was much taller than he was, so I dropped my books, and fell back, onto the pavement, with the bully pinned under me. He was so stupid, to have done this, in front of the principals office. He got dragged back into the office, while I composed myself and went home. He got suspended and I learned how to stand up for myself.

Offline denb45

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #3 on: March 16, 2011, 12:56:09 pm »
I can so relate to what Casey did. I was being bullied in the 8th grade, by a kid who thought he was so tough. As I was leaving school, he tried to start a fight with me and when I turned my back, he jumped on me. I was much taller than he was, so I dropped my books, and fell back, onto the pavement, with the bully pinned under me. He was so stupid, to have done this, in front of the principals office. He got dragged back into the office, while I composed myself and went home. He got suspended and I learned how to stand up for myself.

Joe, I can relate to THIS, my parents always told me to NEVER go down with out a fight, especially if you didn't start it, if someone hit you or bullied you they always said DO IT BACK TO THEM, well they were correct
I'm glad I learned that form them as a very young boy  ;)
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Offline Jeff G

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #4 on: March 16, 2011, 01:21:13 pm »
I was only bullied twice in grammar school , I stood up to it so they backed off quick .

When I was in high school it got out that I was gay and after awhile I quit school because I didn't feel safe anymore . I was really just tired of the isolation and having to constantly watch my back .

looking back now I realize that I was probably in more danger then than I realized . I truly feel if i hadn't dropped out of school I would have been physically harmed .

I was watching Glee last night and saw the boys have they're first kiss , it made me proud and happy that young men and women are able to see how natural and exciting such a simple thing as a kiss can be , a simple kiss is something some straight people take for granted but means so very much for the the self esteem gay youth never dreamed of having in my days of growing up .   
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Offline Joe K

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #5 on: March 16, 2011, 01:32:26 pm »
I was watching Glee last night and saw the boys have they're first kiss , it made me proud and happy that young men and women are able to see how natural and exciting such a simple thing as a kiss can be , a simple kiss is something some straight people take for granted but means so very much for the the self esteem gay youth never dreamed of having in my days of growing up .   

Just imagine how different our lives could have been, if we had such support for being ourselves. I so wanted to have Kurt's dad, someone to tell me that I mattered for just being me.

Offline David_CA

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #6 on: March 16, 2011, 01:49:54 pm »
I wasn't bullied much, but I did fight back the times I was.  One time in particular, I was being picked on by a fifth grader (I was in third grade) while riding the school bus.  He was in the seat behind me and kept poking me with  a pencil, pulling my hair, hitting me, and generally bothering me.  I had my trusty Scooby Doo lunchbox (the sturdy metal kind) with me, as usual.  I swung it around and the corner of my lunchbox hit the guy right in the temple.  He fell back in the seat and stared straight ahead for the rest of the ride.  I don't recall him looking at me, sitting near me, etc ever again.  I was picked on by a few more people over the years, but always fought back and ended up with them leaving me alone.
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Offline denb45

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #7 on: March 16, 2011, 02:12:38 pm »
Just imagine how different our lives could have been, if we had such support for being ourselves. I so wanted to have Kurt's dad, someone to tell me that I mattered for just being me.

Agreed, there still isn't enough of that around, but it's hopeful, things are looking up  ;)
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Offline denb45

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #8 on: March 16, 2011, 02:14:42 pm »
I wasn't bullied much, but I did fight back the times I was.  One time in particular, I was being picked on by a fifth grader (I was in third grade) while riding the school bus.  He was in the seat behind me and kept poking me with  a pencil, pulling my hair, hitting me, and generally bothering me.  I had my trusty Scooby Doo lunchbox (the sturdy metal kind) with me, as usual.  I swung it around and the corner of my lunchbox hit the guy right in the temple.  He fell back in the seat and stared straight ahead for the rest of the ride.  I don't recall him looking at me, sitting near me, etc ever again.  I was picked on by a few more people over the years, but always fought back and ended up with them leaving me alone.

David  ;D all it takes is once  ;)
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline hope_for_a_cure

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #9 on: March 16, 2011, 02:44:17 pm »
Yea, that kid that wanted to start trouble with me ended up in a bad way.  I did not use physical force with him but he did his own self in with cheating.  The school expelled his butt and after another incident which to this day I dont know the details of, he was removed and never came back. 

I do remember wanting to beat his ass but did not do so. 

Offline WillyWump

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #10 on: March 16, 2011, 03:20:50 pm »
Nice body slam! Good for the boy, I bet that guy doesnt bother him anymore.

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Offline Jeff G

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #11 on: March 16, 2011, 03:50:27 pm »
That video should be a lesson for bullies everywhere ... if you are gonna bully someone you should bring a weapon in case they try to fight back .
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Offline hope_for_a_cure

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #12 on: March 16, 2011, 03:54:24 pm »
The local news around here this week is about a kid on trial for a shooting that took place in Sept.  He was tired of being the target of a bully and took a gun to school and used it.  

Offline Joe K

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #13 on: March 16, 2011, 03:55:59 pm »
What bothers me about this story, is that Casey got suspended as well, for simply defending himself. I don't really care what the school policy may say about violence, but what message does this send, to Casey, about how he reacted to a bully. These zero-tolerance rules are very damaging to the very people they are suppose to protect. Most probably he would not have been suspended, if he just stood there and took whatever punches were dealt. How sick is that? If I were his parents, I would be suing the school district and pressing assault charges against the bully. They make the rules and the buck stops with the school district.

Offline WillyWump

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #14 on: March 16, 2011, 04:04:38 pm »
How sick is that? If I were his parents, I would be suing the school district and pressing assault charges against the bully. They make the rules and the buck stops with the school district.

Absolutely 100% agree! Since when is self defense a crime?
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Offline mecch

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #15 on: March 16, 2011, 04:21:58 pm »
The pip squeak bully got what was coming to him.  But the fat loser should learn his body strength - that slam to the sidewalk was violent and might have ended in a broken neck, or worse.  Then where would we be.
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline WillyWump

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #16 on: March 16, 2011, 04:40:19 pm »
But the fat loser 

You were a bully in school weren't you?
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Offline denb45

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #17 on: March 16, 2011, 04:48:25 pm »
You were a bully in school weren't you?

Willy, I was when I played football & Basketball, until somebody kicked my ass, who was bigger than me,
after that, I wasn't a bully anymore, and tried to help and defend others who were  ;) also I was Gay
and didn't want anyone to find that out, but when they did, I was in the 12th Grade, so it wasn't that bad  :D
« Last Edit: March 16, 2011, 04:50:08 pm by denb45 »
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Offline WillyWump

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #18 on: March 16, 2011, 04:58:26 pm »
Willy, I was when I played football & Basketball, until somebody kicked my ass, who was bigger than me,
after that, I wasn't a bully anymore, and tried to help and defend others who were  ;) also I was Gay
and didn't want anyone to find that out, but when they did, I was in the 12th Grade, so it wasn't that bad  :D

I'll never forget the time I was being bullied on my way home from school, the guy (Paul) wouldnt leave me alone...finally he came at me and somehow I managed to flip him over my back and he landed on his ass, I will never forget the look on his face. Interestingly enough Paul and I became best friends after that, we parted ways in High school and later saw him on the news, he had murdered an Austin Taxi Driver for $15. ahhh but we had some good times prior to that

-W
« Last Edit: March 16, 2011, 05:00:16 pm by WillyWump »
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Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #19 on: March 16, 2011, 05:00:46 pm »
I don't recall being bullied in school. One of my high school classmates told me years after graduation that he and others assumed I was a wimp because I was bookish and quiet. Apparently that changed when I told off a big football player during French club who was trying to give me a hard time. I can't remember what I said and only vaguely remember the incident but apparently it was a "holy shit!" moment for my classmates.

Watch out for the quiet types.

Offline hope_for_a_cure

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #20 on: March 16, 2011, 05:04:08 pm »
we parted ways in High school and later saw him on the news, he had murdered an Austin Taxi Driver for $15.

-W

Now thats a story on the local news that got your attention no doubt.  He has some new friends these days.... and prolly is now a bottom!  

Offline Joe K

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #21 on: March 16, 2011, 05:23:03 pm »
The pip squeak bully got what was coming to him.  But the fat loser should learn his body strength - that slam to the sidewalk was violent and might have ended in a broken neck, or worse.  Then where would we be.

You really are a piece of work. To come into a thread, with the topic of bullying and to throw around your own form of bullying is almost too precious for words. But not quite, so please keep your hateful comments to yourself. Without a doubt, you are a bully of the most devious kind.

Offline anniebc

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #22 on: March 16, 2011, 05:28:46 pm »
  But the fat loser should learn his body strength -

"The Fat Loser"..oh that's rich Mecch, and typical isnt' it...so what's the matter, are you upset because some big guy got the better of you when you were bullying him at school....Jeez.

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Offline denb45

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #23 on: March 16, 2011, 05:31:03 pm »
I don't recall being bullied in school. One of my high school classmates told me years after graduation that he and others assumed I was a wimp because I was bookish and quiet. Apparently that changed when I told off a big football player during French club who was trying to give me a hard time. I can't remember what I said and only vaguely remember the incident but apparently it was a "holy shit!" moment for my classmates.

Watch out for the quiet types.

 :D :D :D Ford, I bet the football player, was so confused by what you said, it was way too embarrassing
for him anyway.....I was that guy  ;D
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Offline wolfter

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #24 on: March 16, 2011, 08:31:55 pm »
The pip squeak bully got what was coming to him.  But the fat loser should learn his body strength - that slam to the sidewalk was violent and might have ended in a broken neck, or worse.  Then where would we be.

Before I even read the rest of the posts and develop "group think", I must say this comment is so far beyond my comprehension of civility.  I'm stuned at your reaction and hope a retraction comes forth soon.

After a few moments of pondering, I really worry this is your reality of the world and worry that I'll never consider anything you say as useful again.  I surely hope this was some misguided attempt at humor and you appease my delicate sensibilities.
« Last Edit: March 16, 2011, 08:41:18 pm by wolfter »
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Offline rondrond

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #25 on: March 16, 2011, 08:45:42 pm »
Well, if you saw my pictures in another thread, you know that everyone knew I was a homo-SEX-u-al...they didn't use the word Gay until much later....

I was fortunate in that I had a lot of friends, for some reason, .. ::)
(mom said that I was always popular with the boys)  and we all looked out for each others backs.

Any bullying I got was verbal as I grew like a weed and toppled over everyone...I was 6'3" by the end of high school...
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Offline wolfter

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #26 on: March 16, 2011, 08:46:27 pm »
I remember the story of Matthew Shepherd and how I cried when I watched it.  Bullying to the extreme.  This poor child defecated when suffering horror at the hands of his tormentors and I watched the pain on his mother's face.  I'm dumbfounded to say the least and need to leave for a while.
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Offline fearless

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #27 on: March 16, 2011, 11:25:23 pm »
That happened in Sydney. The general public sentiment around here is that the bully got what he deserved.
The laughable thing is that the bully's mother is now demanding an apology!!! unbelievable.
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Offline Jeff G

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #28 on: March 16, 2011, 11:34:59 pm »
That happened in Sydney. The general public sentiment around here is that the bully got what he deserved.
The laughable thing is that the bully's mother is now demanding an apology!!! unbelievable.

It seems some parents are too busy enabling bad behavior rather than correcting it . I'm officially an old fart now , I don't like allot of what I see these days .
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Offline mecch

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #29 on: March 17, 2011, 08:40:34 am »
Hey I apologise. I called the bully a pip squeak and bullied boy a fat loser imagining those were the terms used.  It was a sort of black humour and I see it pushed some people's buttons here so really I apologise for the bad taste.

And no i wasn't a bully in school.  Was bullied a bit for being faggy but since I played most sports and finally varsity sports, and dated cheerleaders, the bullying never got intense.

And I do think the reaction was too violent and he'll have to learn to fight clean cause he could have really squashed that kid, and then his own life would get considerably worse.

Heres some more details on the story:

http://www.theblaze.com/stories/casey-the-punisher-bullying-victims-schoolyard-justice-becomes-worldwide-web-sensation/
« Last Edit: March 17, 2011, 09:40:37 am by mecch »
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Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #30 on: March 17, 2011, 10:04:43 am »
And I do think the reaction was too violent and he'll have to learn to fight clean cause he could have really squashed that kid

What does "learn to fight clean" mean? He didn't sucker punch the kid.

Offline wolfter

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #31 on: March 17, 2011, 10:14:58 am »
I think his reaction was dead on.  I'm sure this kid has suffered for some time now and finally had enough.  Maybe this little rat will realize that just because someone is docile, doesn't mean they won't finally zap your ass.
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Offline mecch

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #32 on: March 17, 2011, 04:32:46 pm »
Read the article.  He's been the school victim for a long time, it seems.
Im not justifying the bullying at all, and I think he did well to fight back, however Im not the only one who has remarked on the violent "defense" - hes pretty old, he's huge.  If he had slammed that boy down on his head it might be a different story.
I was present when a small framed friend of mine had his neck broken in a such a pushing match. 

I guess a "clean" return would have been a punch right back to the face. Or a full body take down. The bullied kid threw the small boy onto the payment. I cringed in fear when I saw that.

I think that is why he was expelled, as well.
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Offline Jeff G

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #33 on: March 17, 2011, 05:22:25 pm »
Read the article.  He's been the school victim for a long time, it seems.
Im not justifying the bullying at all, and I think he did well to fight back, however Im not the only one who has remarked on the violent "defense" - hes pretty old, he's huge.  If he had slammed that boy down on his head it might be a different story.
I was present when a small framed friend of mine had his neck broken in a such a pushing match. 

I guess a "clean" return would have been a punch right back to the face. Or a full body take down. The bullied kid threw the small boy onto the payment. I cringed in fear when I saw that.

I think that is why he was expelled, as well.


I guess you have to give the kid the benefit of the doubt ... he wasn't the aggressor , probably hasn't fought much and didn't know his own strength . It turned out to be a bad day for the bully .
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Offline skeebo1969

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #34 on: March 17, 2011, 06:59:02 pm »


   You've got to give the bully some credit though..  I mean at this point pride is everything and he tries dearly to save what little is left by getting up and walking around like a monkey.
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline bocker3

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #35 on: March 17, 2011, 07:44:19 pm »
Read the article.  He's been the school victim for a long time, it seems.
Im not justifying the bullying at all, and I think he did well to fight back, however Im not the only one who has remarked on the violent "defense" - hes pretty old, he's huge.  If he had slammed that boy down on his head it might be a different story.
I was present when a small framed friend of mine had his neck broken in a such a pushing match. 

I guess a "clean" return would have been a punch right back to the face. Or a full body take down. The bullied kid threw the small boy onto the payment. I cringed in fear when I saw that.

I think that is why he was expelled, as well.

Just a bit of blame the victim going on here.  The bully started it -- if he, in the end, gets the worst of it -- tough shit.  He shouldn't have started it.  It's not like the kid pulled a gun on his attacker -- he simply fought back.  The bullied kid didn't throw "the small boy" , he threw the kid who bullied him.  Stop defending his actions -- he was wrong and the "big kid" did what was necessary.
You may not have been a bully -- but it is crap like this that helps perpetuate it....  he got what he deserved.  Your defending him is no different than a parent saying "boys will be boys". 

Mike

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #36 on: March 17, 2011, 10:21:12 pm »
The smaller kid received a fractured leg out of the whole ordeal.  If the larger kid had waited til the next day and brought a gun to school however none of you would be supporting his actions.  Emphasis:  What he did could have been just as lethal, luckily it wasn't.

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #37 on: March 17, 2011, 10:34:43 pm »



   It looked like a bait and switch to me.
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline bocker3

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #38 on: March 18, 2011, 07:43:19 am »
The smaller kid received a fractured leg out of the whole ordeal.  If the larger kid had waited til the next day and brought a gun to school however none of you would be supporting his actions.  Emphasis:  What he did could have been just as lethal, luckily it wasn't.

The "smaller" kid could have left him alone.  Emphasis:  He'd be walking without the aid of crutches.

Who gives a shit about the size of the kid.  A bully is a bully.  Why don't you all stop trying to make the bullied kid the bad guy here.  And, PLEASE stop referring to him as the "small" kid -- his size didn't stop him from bullying a larger kid, so it shouldn't matter in the response to his bullying.

I simply don't understand why people are trying to make it sound like the victim did something wrong here.  This is why bullying will never stop -- people give signals that it isn't all that bad.

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #39 on: March 18, 2011, 08:39:19 am »



    They removed the video...    I found a similar video though to keep the discussion going.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMu2xNBpyQc
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline hope_for_a_cure

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #40 on: March 18, 2011, 08:52:58 am »
I thought Steven Seagal was a reptilian.

Offline Florida69

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #41 on: March 18, 2011, 10:03:34 am »
what is that asian saying, "beware of waking the sleeping giant?"  the kid being bullied did indeed try to turn the other cheek, however Darwin taught us that we use fight of flight in order to defend ourself.  I am gald that he stood up for himself.  There are bully's even on this forum. have a great day... D
Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.
Calvin Coolidge

Offline Joe K

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #42 on: March 18, 2011, 02:51:20 pm »
Part of the reason that we cannot minimize bullying, is the insistence by some folks, who were not present, to decide on what really happened. Of course it could have been worse, so what is your point? The video is all we have to go on and based on what I saw, the bully got exactly what he deserved. The kids history with each other, etc., is all reported after the incident and what the video shows, is a kid being assaulted, showing remarkable restraint, until his personal rights had been violated just one too many times. The bully has nothing to condone his behavior, whereas the assaulted has every legal right to defend himself. How he chose to do that, is for him only to decide and all the rest is just conjecture.

Sadly, that conjecture obscures the reality that this kid was bullied and now he is being victimized for defending himself. How can we ever expect children, to understand that bullying is wrong, in any form, when too many people keep making excuses for it? Assaulting another person is wrong and illegal and calling it bullying does not change the fact, that it remains assault.

Offline bocker3

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #43 on: March 18, 2011, 05:34:42 pm »
How can we ever expect children, to understand that bullying is wrong, in any form, when too many people keep making excuses for it? Assaulting another person is wrong and illegal and calling it bullying does not change the fact, that it remains assault.


thanks Joe!


Worth repeating because too many have lost sight of this simple fact.


Mike

Offline RapidRod

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #44 on: March 18, 2011, 06:58:47 pm »
Read the article.  He's been the school victim for a long time, it seems.
Im not justifying the bullying at all, and I think he did well to fight back, however Im not the only one who has remarked on the violent "defense" - hes pretty old, he's huge.  If he had slammed that boy down on his head it might be a different story.
I was present when a small framed friend of mine had his neck broken in a such a pushing match. 

I guess a "clean" return would have been a punch right back to the face. Or a full body take down. The bullied kid threw the small boy onto the payment. I cringed in fear when I saw that.

I think that is why he was expelled, as well.
Clean fighting? Don't think so. If I'm pushed in a position to fight, I'm going to fight to win, I'm not going to concern myself if I hurt the other person, that would be the last thing on my mind.

Offline WillyWump

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #45 on: March 18, 2011, 08:59:09 pm »
Part of the reason that we cannot minimize bullying, is the insistence by some folks, who were not present, to decide on what really happened. Of course it could have been worse, so what is your point? The video is all we have to go on and based on what I saw, the bully got exactly what he deserved. The kids history with each other, etc., is all reported after the incident and what the video shows, is a kid being assaulted, showing remarkable restraint, until his personal rights had been violated just one too many times. The bully has nothing to condone his behavior, whereas the assaulted has every legal right to defend himself. How he chose to do that, is for him only to decide and all the rest is just conjecture.

Sadly, that conjecture obscures the reality that this kid was bullied and now he is being victimized for defending himself. How can we ever expect children, to understand that bullying is wrong, in any form, when too many people keep making excuses for it? Assaulting another person is wrong and illegal and calling it bullying does not change the fact, that it remains assault.

Spot on and well said Joe! (as usual)

-Will
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Offline Hellraiser

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #46 on: March 18, 2011, 09:12:26 pm »
The "smaller" kid could have left him alone.  Emphasis:  He'd be walking without the aid of crutches.

Who gives a shit about the size of the kid.  A bully is a bully.  Why don't you all stop trying to make the bullied kid the bad guy here.  And, PLEASE stop referring to him as the "small" kid -- his size didn't stop him from bullying a larger kid, so it shouldn't matter in the response to his bullying.

I simply don't understand why people are trying to make it sound like the victim did something wrong here.  This is why bullying will never stop -- people give signals that it isn't all that bad.

Why don't you all stop trying to lump everyone else into one category?  I never said anything about thinking the smaller kid was in the right, that the larger kid did not have a right to defend himself, or that I agreed with the action that took place (on either party's part).  I simply commented that had the circumstances been slightly different the reaction would have been massively changed.  I saw this video on facebook about a day or two before it was posted here and I was quite glad to see the larger kid (and make no mistake about it he is noticably larger, thanks) show the smaller kid the rewards of unwanted aggression.  I'm also an adult who realizes that what happened could've been really bad very easily.

Offline bocker3

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #47 on: March 18, 2011, 11:15:44 pm »
Why don't you all stop trying to lump everyone else into one category?  I never said anything about thinking the smaller kid was in the right, that the larger kid did not have a right to defend himself, or that I agreed with the action that took place (on either party's part).  I simply commented that had the circumstances been slightly different the reaction would have been massively changed.  I saw this video on facebook about a day or two before it was posted here and I was quite glad to see the larger kid (and make no mistake about it he is noticably larger, thanks) show the smaller kid the rewards of unwanted aggression.  I'm also an adult who realizes that what happened could've been really bad very easily.

But you don't seem to getting (at least not from your posting) is that IF it had gotten "really bad" -- it still would have been the fault of the bully -- NOT his victim.  But for the fact that he started this mess, he wouldn't have been hurt -- a little or "really bad".

You were lumped into that category, because you keep pointing out how it might have turned into the bullied kid's fault -- or at least that the reaction to being bullied was "too much".

So, come back and whine about being misunderstood -- but if you don't want to be misunderstood, then stop changing your story's meaning.

M

Offline wolfter

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #48 on: March 19, 2011, 01:27:53 am »
I shared this story with my brother who is my wall of reason.  He is a veteran of many conflicts.  He recently retired from the military after serving many tours.  I have a beutiful baby sister who in turmoil wainting for her husband to return from Afhanistan.   I guess we all kow the answers,  but his is the same type of behavior they are fighting to protect.  They absolutely agreed with what person felt he needed to do. 
Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.

Offline mecch

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Re: This is how you stop bullying
« Reply #49 on: March 19, 2011, 08:25:46 am »
I dont think anyone said the bullied kid was wrong to respond.

I dont think anyone defended the bully.

I think a few people said that it wasn't the greatest response, or simply expressed fears that it could have gone really badly for the bullied kid, if the bully ended up with serious damage.

Its contradictory to say that the bullied kid had carte blanche - just by virtue of being bullied - but at the same time say that its wrong to argue boys will be boys. 

Some of you fail to consider that the question we are debating here is - what does each person feel is the proper response by a bullied person?   

The question to debate is NOT the personal character of each of the AIDSMEDS members.

The question to debate is only partially this circumstance, these two boys - because - as others have helpfully pointed out - we dont know the full story. 

So in a discussion of this type - the question moves to ones opinions on the topic in general, in society.

And I think there are people - in this forum for sure - who do really believe that an eye for eye is the only or best response to a bully.  Boys will be boys - i have seen it used here to say that is in fact the nature of the beast and people who feel bullied should buck up and grow thicker skin.

An eye for an eye - fire for fire - violence in response to violence - is NOT the only response, NOR is it always the best one.  It depends on the age of the people in conflict, the nature of the conflict, the personal needs and character of the people in conflict, and the setting.

The only comments that have come from the public or in this forum that have been at all questioning about this bullied kid was the QUALITY of his response, considering some of these circumstance.  Not his right to respond.  And not the wrongness of the bully.   

All you people suggesting otherwise are setting up STRAWDOG opponents for your personal agendas that have little to do with a lively debate on this topic.


“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

 


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