now my x partner

[tommytj]

I HAVE JUST FINISHED WITH MY PARTNER,,SO ANGRY,,,AT HIS ATTITUDE TO HIV,,HE HAS BEEN HIV POSITIVE FOR 12 YEARS AND WILL NOT TAKE MEDICATION,,I HAVE ALWAYS PRACTISED SAFER SEX,,, BUT HE HATED SAFE SEX AND CONDOMS BUT WE ALWAYS DID EVEN TO HIS DISLIKE,,,BUT I GOT INFECTED DONT ASK HOW I DONT KNOW,,,WHATS DONE IS DONE,,,MY ANGER NOW IS HE DIDNT WANT ME TO TAKE MEDICATION EVER,,,,I DONT YET BUT I WILL,,,IM NEWLY DIAGNOSED CD4 944,,I STATED TO HIM ,,THAT IN MY ANGER IF HE TOOK MEDICATION MY RISK OF INFECION WOULD HAVE BEEN LESS...NOW HE IS FUCKING AROUND BAREBACK WHAT HE ALWAYS LOVED,,WHAT HE IS DOING IS CRIMINAL,,,,TOM

[Jeff G]

Hi Tommy and welcome to the forums .

I'm sorry you need us but happy you found us . I'm happy to read that you have taken responsibility for your health and moved on from the unhealthy relationship .

I wouldn't want to be with a partner who would rather see me die than treat a medical condition and I think you know its very important for you to take your meds when the time comes that you need them . I can see you are angry at your ex and that's expected but at the same time I hope you can eventually move on , put him and that negativity away and lead a happy healthy life .

If I could , I would like to suggest that you turn the capitol letter lock off on your computer when you compose your messages , its hard to read post that's all in caps .
Its also better for reading when you break up what you are saying into little blocks like I have done here , its so much easier to read that way . Thanks and again , welcome . 

[tommytj]

thank you jeffg,,,,everyday it gets better,,,the healing process just takes time,,,I plan to take meds,,,and live a long happy life.
oops sorry for the cap letters
tom

[roy100]

I don't understand how you stayed with this guy, anyway what is done is done, but don't stay on this ill relationship.

You have to take care of yourself because this person so reckless, doesn't care about you. There is always the possibility that he infected you on purpose.

Congratulations on seen things as they are, and continue reading on the forum about the disease, you will fight back, and the story of this ill human been will fade away as it should.
Greetings

[tommytj]

thanks roy for your wisdom,,,,somtimes love makes us blind,,,but now I can see....tom

[Ann]

Tommy, I can't help but wonder if your (now ex) partner has been swayed by hiv denialists.

If this is the case, you might want to make one last-ditch effort to make him see sense by directing him to the http://www.aidstruth.org/ website. They do an excellent job of debunking the bullshit put out by denialists.

Hiv denialist remind me of fundamental "Christians" who cherry-pick verses from the bible to support their hate. They take biblical verses out of context and ignore verses they don't like.

For example, they cite certain passages in Leviticus to support their hatred of homosexuals, all the while ignoring passages that prohibit wearing clothing made from more than one fabric.

Those fundy preachers would have to give up all their polyester suits; clutch the pearls! They'd have to give up bacon for breakfast and they'd have to forego lobster dinners as well. Oh dear.

Anyway, hiv denialist also cherry-pick, but they do it with the scientific facts of hiv. They use outdated information as well (hello, fundies swear by a book that was written thousands of years ago, and re-written by men with a political agenda) and they totally ignore how the death rates for people living with hiv have plummeted since the advent of HAART in 1996.

They still harp on about how AZT contributed to deaths back in the 80s and early 90s when people were given extremely high doses of it. For goodness sake, even ultra-high doses of aspirin will kill people if taken on a daily basis. Hiv treatments have come a long way since the early 90s, but the denialist ignore that fact.

Are you aware that some of the most strident hiv denialist are hiv negative? Makes you wonder, eh?

Many of the hiv denialist who actually had hiv themselves are dead. There's a whole section of the website I linked you to that discusses some of the more well-known denialists who have died because of their misguided beliefs.

One of the most vocal hiv denialist even lost her three year old daughter to hiv because she refused to have her tested and treated. Hell, if she (Christine Maggiore) had accepted treatment herself, she could have prevented her daughter from being positive in the first place. Such a waste of life. Christine died not long after her daughter.

Denialists accuse those of us who know that hiv treatments save lives of celebrating the (preventable) deaths of denialists - but I for one do NOT celebrate those deaths. I mourn them. I regret that they died due to wilful ignorance. I view hiv denialist as murderers, but I still mourn when one of them dies due to their misguided beliefs.

There was a young man who used to post on these forums who had been swayed by denialists. He no longer posts here because he died. You can read his posting history here Such a needless waste. It really upsets me.

Tommy, I think you did the right thing in distancing yourself from this man who encouraged you to ignore your hiv. But if you still care about him - and I think you probably do - please try to get him to see sense. However, don't do that at your own expense. We can't save everyone, all we can do is try.

Hugs,
Ann
xxx




edited to fix a broken link - thank you to the person who pointed it out to me via PM

[tommytj]

thank yo so much ann for your wisdom,,,it helps alot,,,,I JUST was reading about emery taylor so so sad.

thank you again
tommy