My Worst Nightmare is Coming True

[TrollyDolly]

So this is my story. Aged 27 Living in Europe and Gay. On the 24th of Feb this year i had a one night stand after a wild night out which involved me been very drunk and the encounter is a bit of a haze. so i met this guy we started having oral ( as ya do ) I remember me putting on a comdon for incentive anal. The night is really a blur so i don't want to say anything I'm not 100% unsure of, apart from the fact i dont think the condom stayed on at some point. a couple of day later i had 2 days of sickness. flu like sickness with one very loose stool. ( and I'm one of those people who rarely get sick or take any tablets ) so that passed on it own. about a week after that i noticed a rash on my skin which turned out to be a fungal infection around my chest area and on my back close to my airpit. treated it with antifungle spray and it hasn't come back. about 6 weeks after that night in question i came down with a horrible fever, didn't have the urge to eat, very very tired all the time but found it hard to sleep ( also noticed my lymph nodes under my arm were swollen-ish ). ever since then Ive been feeling really down in the dumps. Ive so much going on in my life at the min that even b4 this all happened i was under A LOT of stress. the funny thing is something in my mind told me about HIV when i got this rash and then all of  sudden the other Symptoms showed up. even tho i know a blood test is the only way i can find out the fear of knowing i might have HIV is killing me. i even went as far as buying home HIV testing kits ( ez-trust HIV1 HIV2 ) which i have sitting next to me and cant bring myself to do the test ) I'm a very strong person and I've come up against alot in my life but for some reason this time i differant. I've done tons of research about it the forums has helped me. it's just a little over 8 weeks now since that night. and since that night all i have done is think about it. it's really getting me down. and i really don't know what to do. my parents know there is something on my mind as they know me inside out and i had a number of chances to tell them how I'm feeling and my concerns but i just cant bring myself to do it. I'm afraid they will think of me as a Bad person even tho i know they wont. i cant help feel this way. i really don't know what to do. i feel pretty crap at present. I've read 100's of posts here and i kinda know the answers Im gona expect but this forum post is my only outlet on the matter since that foolish night.     

[Andy Velez]

Hi Trolly,

Whatever is going on with your symptoms, they are not in any way HIV specific. Which is not surprising because I am not sure you even had a risk for the virus. Receiving oral even without a condom is not a risk for HIV. No one's ever been confirmed to have been infected that way. You are not going to make history by becoming the first.

You apparently started out intercourse with a condom on. That's perfect. They provide very effective protection. Even if it slipped off at some point, we're talking about a possible one-time risk. And the risk for the insertive partner is significantly less than for the receptive one.

But whenever there is doubt about what happened, it's always a good idea to get tested. This all happened in February which means you're well past 6 weeks. You can get tested anytime now for an initial result. Assuming you test negative, which I think is likely, then when you test at 3 months for a conclusive result, you will very likely test negative again.

Meantime if any of your symptoms persist you should discuss them with your doctor.

As for disclosing your concern to your parents, that's up to you. I'd advise against it because I think you would be alarming them unnecessarily since I think you are likely to come out of this incident ok.

You do need to learn from this experience. Mixing excessive drinking and casual sex is a very dangerous combination. Have all the sex you want but do it soberly. You can still have a good time and protect your health.

[TrollyDolly]

Thank you so much for your reply. I have the home testing kits here ready to go. I'm going to do them tonight. i have 2 of them so i will do both just on the off chance that one is unclear. i know i need to go to the doctor about these symptoms but even getting the words out of my self to say them to the doctor is harder then it may seem. cause that makes the situation even more real. i know i need to man up to the situation and get the ball rolling. I'll keep you posted with the home testing kits. pls pray they are neg or  at least pray i win the lotto to pay for meds. thank you once again so your words of wisdom and hope your well. any other advice of replies to my post are very welcome and i thank you all in advance for taking the time to reply. 

[TrollyDolly]

So I have done 1x EZ-Trust HIV 1 & 2 Rapid Screen Test ( made by CS Innovation ) And It's Neg as i only got 1 control line ( 2 lines for poz ) The last guy i was with ( that there was a risk involved) was Feb 24th from what i read about these tests they are 99% right. Has anyone Heard anything to prove otherwise?? i have one more test which I'm gona keep for another 4 weeks and take it then. I'm very disappointed in myself for not been man enough to deal with this situation sooner as i had convinced myself !00% that i had contracted HIV. it just goes to show how powerful the mind is when your stressed and i was stressed out BIG TIME. i was thinking to myself OK i need a plan of action about been HIV+ ( this sounds so crazy i know but it's how i was feeling/thinking). things like who am i going to tell, where is my local HIV treatment clinic. I've been reading the other forums ( LIVING WITH HIV ) and trying to teach myself and prepare for some of these situations which i will come across been POZ. I feel like I've let myself down by this whole situation now. to think that i had these HIV rapid tests for 2 weeks hidden in my room and couldn't bring myself to do the test. I even took 2 weeks off work due to stress. i think it's time i see someone about this crazy thinking. I'm going to book myself in for General overhaul with my doctor and talk to him about this. I'm not 100% Happy with the Rapid test results as there is always room for error but i think a full blood work is needed also. OK I'm ranting on. i would just like to add one more thing b4 i go and this is to all them people worried having contracted HIV or had a risky situation is to be a bigger person then i was when it comes to getting yourself tested/protecting yourself. it's a horrible situation to be in I KNOW. i will keep you guys posted with the results of tests i have done with regards to HIV. and thank you to this forum for the it's widespread information on HIV. x 

[Andy Velez]

A negative result which you have just received is strongly pointing the way to your continuing to test negative at 3 months.

Try to ease up a bit about this now. I expect you to come out of this ok.

And getting some professional support for the stressful wear and tear might be a very idea.

[TrollyDolly]

Hey guys, Firstly i would like to start of By saying i hope you're all doing well. So, My second EZ-Trust home testing kit Turned out Neg just a little over 12 weeks now since my "Risk"( also the last time i had sex... sad i know.. but wana take some me time after this life changing experience) I'm so over the moon with this outcome. yet i still have some Symptoms which i though were HIV realated but I'm working on them with my GP. after having a complete breakdown in his office his said there is no reason to test if i already tested neg both times with the approved home testing kits, but said he would do the blood work for piece of mind. so just waiting on that to come back. this experience has though me a lot and really opened my eyes to how the human mind work in differant situations. Really.. if you are reading this and have convinced yourself your 100% HIV+ the best advice i could give to you is... TAKE A DEEP BREATH . ( easier said then done but it helps) secondly.. Visit your doctor and explain your situation. they've heard it all before so don't be worried about him not understanding your situation cause they will. I'll keep you guys posted on the blood results. expecting them in a few days times. Hopefully via the phone x

[Ann]

Dolly,

The only approved home test kit at this time is Home Access and it is not available where you live. There aren't any approved home test kits where you live - I don't know why your GP thinks they are available.

Saying that, the unapproved home test kits that are available are prone to false positive results and you didn't get one of those. Going by your first post, I think you've been worrying unnecessarily anyway.

I fully expect you to get another negative result from your GP. Good luck with finding out what, exactly, is causing your problems. It sure doesn't seem to be hiv.

For future reference, here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Good luck with your results. I'm betting on another negative and so should you.

Ann

[TrollyDolly]

Hey guys just though i would log on and give you an update of my situation as i noticed there are only people posting replying when they test poz after the testing stage. so i went for my full blood work and everything came back clean as a whistle. doctor did notice i have alot of lymph nodes swollen but just speckled around my body. so I'm going for an Xray to be on the safe side. i hope you guys are all well. wish you nothing but luck whatever life has to offer. x x

[Andy Velez]

We're not surprised but still, a negative result is always a happy thing.

Good luck with getting your lymph node problem sorted out.

At least HIV has been reliably eliminated from your concerns.