Author Topic: so tomorrow my cute lil' Rican cable technician arrives... (Read 15533 times)

Miss Philicia · « **on:** January 20, 2010, 07:04:21 pm »

... second time this week too! First my cable modem went out, and lo and behold it was the same cute, semi-flirtatious but kindasortanotreally 19 year old trade-bait that seems to always appear when the Comcast Gods frown on me (which is often lately). So I got a third new modem in 10 months, and read that boy for doling out refurbished crap to me previously and mandated that I'd only be satisfied with something completely brand new. It's bad enough that my DVR looks like it was made in 1872, but somehow I got that one for free when my regular non-DVR modem stopped working and the fat non-Rican technician didn't have anything but DVR's in his truck.

OK, so bad planning on my part but I suddenly had an epiphane this afternoon that I simply must see "Spartacus" on STARZ which starts on Friday. And to get STARZ I couldn't just order it, but had to get this stupid "triple pack" deal which isn't so bad as I already have cable (but not with HBO, etc. channels because I'm cheap) and internet service, but now I'll also be getting broadband phone service which I'm sure I won't even use because I have a cell phone. Maybe I should just get rid of my cell phone because it's five years old and crappy and I'm not even in a contract as it expired over two years ago, so I even overpay for my service. I could just go to Best Buy and get a dirt cheap pay-as-you-go phone, right? Then when Spartacus is over, or maybe a year later, I'll just cancel this triple package BS and go back to cheap cable TV, and then with the money I save buy and iPhone, or maybe an Android phone. 2010 is SO the year of the Android! Decisions, decisions!

http://www.starz.com/originals/spartacus

Mostly I just want to see Andy Whitfield with hardly any clothing.

BT65 · « **Reply #1 on:** January 20, 2010, 07:36:47 pm »

I have Comcast's phone service. If you're going to let go of your cell phone, definitely get a pay-as-you-go phone, because if the power goes out, so goes the Comcast phone. It's happened to me (which is one reason I have one of those prepay cell phones).

Rev. Moon · « **Reply #2 on:** January 20, 2010, 08:07:01 pm »

You need to wait for him in your sexiest negligée. Make him your own lil' Spartacus.

Miss Philicia · « **Reply #3 on:** January 20, 2010, 08:18:41 pm »

So you mean my flannel night shorts that reek of sweat and urine won't work?

edit: oooops, I totally just saw that a stack of about five brazilian porn DVDs were sitting next to the desk and he must have seen them yesterday when he was working.

Rev. Moon · « **Reply #4 on:** January 20, 2010, 08:33:08 pm »

Quote from: Miss Philicia on January 20, 2010, 08:18:41 pm

So you mean my flannel night shorts that reek of sweat and urine won't work?

edit: oooops, I totally just saw that a stack of about five brazilian porn DVDs were sitting next to the desk and he must have seen them yesterday when he was working.

hmmmm, no. Those shorts won't do [unless they're booty cut-offs].

If he saw those videos maybe he'll show up tomorrow wearing cute tech shorts and a revealing tshirt.

Oceanbeach · « **Reply #5 on:** January 20, 2010, 08:47:10 pm »

Dearest Phylatio,

If Ford's thread is correct and Puerto Ricans are really chatty cathys, might I suggest you find something on your person to put in his mouth?

Have the best day
Michael
(who really likes phylatio)

fearless · « **Reply #6 on:** January 20, 2010, 09:37:44 pm »

Go the Android. I've been baiting all my i-phone friends all week. they can get so defensive. so easy to bait. hehehe.

I have a broadband phone too, but only use it if i'm approaching the limit on my mobile, which is rare as I get about $250 worth of calls a month on my plan and all calls to my friends with the same company are free.

Sure beats having a land line, where they charge about $35 a month line rental just for having the damn thing, with no calls included.

Now, if you had a decent mobile you'd be able to snap us all a pic of said Rican without him even knowing.

GNYC09 · « **Reply #7 on:** January 20, 2010, 09:41:40 pm »

Sport a poof like Snooki's, offer him some fried plantains and he'll be all yours. Trust me, it works.

Miss Philicia · « **Reply #8 on:** January 20, 2010, 09:45:40 pm »

PICKLES FOR EVERYONE!

Oh, speaking of Snooki -- there's a major JS marathon fest starting at 1:30 PM EST tomorrow leading up to the season finale, followed by the requisite "reunion" special. CAN NOT WAIT.

Miss Philicia · « **Reply #9 on:** January 20, 2010, 09:47:25 pm »

Quote from: GNYC09 on January 20, 2010, 09:41:40 pm

Sport a poof like Snooki's, offer him some fried plantains and he'll be all yours. Trust me, it works.

I can do some FIERCE pernil and habichuelas rosadas.

Have I ever mentioned dating this one Puerto Rican guy who had small diamonds appliqued on his top two front teeth? When he'd cook for me he'd serve me the food and then sit and watch me eat, but not serve himself anything. Then he'd clear up the table and go sit in the kitchen and eat his meal. Now THAT is a woman! It's totally what a Puerto Rican wife does for the husband. That relationship didn't last long, and that wasn't even the strangest part -- when I woke up early the next morning I went to go find the bathroom and there was a LIVE CHICKEN RUNNING AROUND THE APARTMENT.

GNYC09 · « **Reply #10 on:** January 20, 2010, 10:12:34 pm »

Quote from: Miss Philicia on January 20, 2010, 09:47:25 pm

I can do some FIERCE pernil and habichuelas rosadas.

Have I ever mentioned dating this one Puerto Rican guy who had small diamonds appliqued on his top two front teeth? When he'd cook for me he'd serve me the food and then sit and watch me eat, but not serve himself anything. Then he'd clear up the table and go sit in the kitchen and eat his meal. Now THAT is a woman! It's totally what a Puerto Rican wife does for the husband. That relationship didn't last long, and that wasn't even the strangest part -- when I woke up early the next morning I went to go find the bathroom and there was a LIVE CHICKEN RUNNING AROUND THE APARTMENT.

Yummy. That is very Puerto Rican of you. Cubans and Dominicans go for black beans. Mexicans too I think?

Re: the live chicken - you'd run around the apt too if you were about to be sacrificed as part of some Santeria ritual!!

Miss Philicia · « **Reply #11 on:** January 20, 2010, 10:56:54 pm »

Quote from: GNYC09 on January 20, 2010, 10:12:34 pm

Re: the live chicken - you'd run around the apt too if you were about to be sacrificed as part of some Santeria ritual!!

Oh yeah, he had a huge Santeria shrine right next to the apartment door with dripped dried blood on bowls of corn around the little statues, etc. He claimed that the live chicken was for his grandmother's soup. ha ha

We never had a second date after that, and all my friends would call him "Glitter Mouth" whenever we saw him out at the clubs.

fearless · « **Reply #12 on:** January 21, 2010, 12:56:54 am »

Quote from: Miss Philicia on January 20, 2010, 09:47:25 pm

I can do some FIERCE pernil and habichuelas rosadas.

Have I ever mentioned dating this one Puerto Rican guy who had small diamonds appliqued on his top two front teeth? When he'd cook for me he'd serve me the food and then sit and watch me eat, but not serve himself anything. Then he'd clear up the table and go sit in the kitchen and eat his meal. Now THAT is a woman! It's totally what a Puerto Rican wife does for the husband. That relationship didn't last long, and that wasn't even the strangest part -- when I woke up early the next morning I went to go find the bathroom and there was a LIVE CHICKEN RUNNING AROUND THE APARTMENT.

Man, I would've held onto that one.

max123 · « **Reply #13 on:** January 21, 2010, 07:31:59 am »

you gotta love a hot rican man...

Miss Philicia · « **Reply #14 on:** January 21, 2010, 09:57:30 am »

Oh wow, the young Puerto Rican wasn't the technician today. Instead I got something even better -- a 6'3" mulatto Jamaican with green eyes and scruffy facial hair and the most dreamy accent. He was a total keeper, and if you've ever had sex with Jamaicans like I have (several, as I mysteriously tapped into the Brooklyn/Crown Heights Jamaican internet sex chat room on AOL in the late 90's) you'd know what I mean.

Queen Tokelove · « **Reply #15 on:** January 21, 2010, 01:00:00 pm »

Hey Hey...Let's not forget your Queen is half Puerto Rican!!!! And maybe it's cuz I am here in NY but I have been having the hots for Latino men lately. All a brotha can do for me is walk on by.....

And I am hooked on fried plantain and steak fajitas with guacomole (sp)...

And Ms. P, there is no MetroPCS over there huh.....I love them I have unlimited everything but I want to upgrade my phone just because.....And I still haven't figured out how to work everything on it yet.

Miss Philicia · « **Reply #16 on:** January 21, 2010, 04:01:07 pm »

Yeah, we have MetroPCS here -- I should look into that. I think there's an office at 9th & Market.

Oh, and fajitas and guacamole are NOT Puerto Rican cuisine! That's Mexican... and if you want fierce soft tacos go to Jackson Heights in Queens where all the Mexican mafia types eat. Really good vibe! One of my best friends is a straight Mexican guy and he knows where all the real deals are. I once dated a Mexican guy who was an artist/painter and he was the best cook of any guy I've ever gone out with... total keeper if it hadn't been for the 3" cock. But if you want heft, go to Crown Heights in Brooklyn for the Labor Day West Indies parade and hook up with a guy from Trinidad. They're totally legendary.

next2u · « **Reply #17 on:** January 21, 2010, 09:46:13 pm »

break ur modem and get him back.

GNYC09 · « **Reply #18 on:** January 21, 2010, 10:12:37 pm »

Quote from: fearless on January 21, 2010, 12:56:54 am

Man, I would've held onto that one.

Me too. "Finish the laundry and grab me a sandwich" is what I'd say.

Miss Philicia · « **Reply #19 on:** January 22, 2010, 12:57:22 am »

Ugh, no way... I found the whole situation distasteful and subservient. I can only date strong willed guys otherwise I just steam roll over them in a heartbeat without an ounce of remorse.

Oh, and this wasn't the only Santeria practitioner I've had either. I once hooked up with a Santeria priest who gave me a two hour rim job in the South Bronx, and then took me out for cuchifritos.

Click here for the uninitiated: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuchifritos

Boo Radley · « **Reply #20 on:** January 22, 2010, 02:48:35 am »

Quote from: Miss Philicia on January 20, 2010, 08:18:41 pm

So you mean my flannel night shorts that reek of sweat and urine won't work?
...

You told me the fecal odor alone outweighed piss and sweat 5/1 -- did you get that new family-size anal plug? The quadrocolostomy procedure was approved? iniquitous minds want... something, i'm sure.

next2u · « **Reply #21 on:** January 22, 2010, 11:56:35 am »

miss p,

you know im completely envious of you, right? when i come over, we'll break the modem together. we can then use santeria to conjure up a love/sex spell and bring all the thug-hustlers to their knees. when they finish worshipping us we'll get coffee and look for good music. and them bitches betta fix ur modem...lol.

best,
d

denb45 · « **Reply #22 on:** January 22, 2010, 12:04:43 pm »

Quote from: Miss Philicia on January 20, 2010, 10:56:54 pm

Oh yeah, he had a huge Santeria shrine right next to the apartment door with dripped dried blood on bowls of corn around the little statues, etc. He claimed that the live chicken was for his grandmother's soup. ha ha

We never had a second date after that, and all my friends would call him "Glitter Mouth" whenever we saw him out at the clubs.

I always make lunch, them boys really go for that, and they'll stay a little longer, and do more quriks, and tweak your setup for you, you get what you want, and they leave with a full belly, miss P if it's cold outside put on some coffee and scones, cause they like that too

next2u · « **Reply #23 on:** January 22, 2010, 12:39:40 pm »

well if the first method doesnt work...lol

Miss Philicia · « **Reply #24 on:** January 22, 2010, 03:05:59 pm »

meh, don't be envious of me. I consorted with such a wide variety of really shady characters stretching from the Bronx to Hialeah to Santo Domingo and it's a great wonder to me how I emerged from that phase of life and not be murdered.

My current life is completely void of danger. I'm practically a nun.

Rev. Moon · « **Reply #25 on:** January 22, 2010, 03:27:12 pm »

Quote from: Miss Philicia on January 22, 2010, 03:05:59 pm

I consorted with such a wide variety of really shady characters stretching from the Bronx to Hialeah

Hialeah? Sister Philicia, you were walking on the wild side

Miss Philicia · « **Reply #26 on:** January 22, 2010, 03:31:40 pm »

Quote from: livebythemoon on January 22, 2010, 03:27:12 pm

Hialeah? Sister Philicia, you were walking on the wild side

It's all about the super-secret Haitian bath house. Very legendary. Club Body Center in Coral Gables is strictly plebeian.

Queen Tokelove · « **Reply #27 on:** January 22, 2010, 03:40:49 pm »

Quote from: Miss Philicia on January 21, 2010, 04:01:07 pm

Yeah, we have MetroPCS here -- I should look into that. I think there's an office at 9th & Market.

Oh, and fajitas and guacamole are NOT Puerto Rican cuisine! That's Mexican... and if you want fierce soft tacos go to Jackson Heights in Queens where all the Mexican mafia types eat. Really good vibe! One of my best friends is a straight Mexican guy and he knows where all the real deals are. I once dated a Mexican guy who was an artist/painter and he was the best cook of any guy I've ever gone out with... total keeper if it hadn't been for the 3" cock. But if you want heft, go to Crown Heights in Brooklyn for the Labor Day West Indies parade and hook up with a guy from Trinidad. They're totally legendary.

I have to stay away from Queens due to drama with the ex. But those mofos still be slamming. Most Spanish food has beans which is a turn off to me. I was just in Crown Heights today. Any good places to eat over there? Girl, MetroPCS has a 50 buck plus tax deal where everything is unlimited..*snaps my fingers* that's what I got.

Rev. Moon · « **Reply #28 on:** January 22, 2010, 03:56:53 pm »

Quote from: Miss Philicia on January 22, 2010, 03:31:40 pm

It's all about the super-secret Haitian bath house. Very legendary. Club Body Center in Coral Gables is strictly plebeian.

Hmmm... a well-kept secret indeed.

When I was 22 I dated this Hialeah muscle-head who thought that I could be used as an at home punching bag. I showed him why they call me the little pitbull and have avoided men from that part of town ever since.

CBC is totally pedestrian. The smell of rancid bleach and the old dirty carpet are absolutely vomititious. The Club in Ft. Lauderdale was better, but I haven't been there in at least seven years.

Miss Philicia · « **Reply #29 on:** January 22, 2010, 04:19:17 pm »

There's a Club Body Center here in Philadelphia but I've not gone there. I was never what I'd call a huge bath house queen, though of course I went from time to time. In fact, when I lived in the East Village there was one just five blocks away and I'm surprised I wasn't there every weekend -- it was called The Bijoux, and it was actually quite fierce in that certain way. I wasn't like the Chelsea crowd at all, which was good -- they are always to be shunned, and very West Side Club. The Bijoux was unmarked on a side street off 2nd Avenue, with a bright red door that led to the dank basement. Hospitality consisted of a bowl of Oreos and a bowl of condoms... I'm sure you can imagine which bowl got used.

But I saved myself up for my jaunts to San Juan and the now shuttered Steamworks where I used to give public shows for the benefit of the local inhabitants. Nothing like spilling an entire bottle of poppers from the mezzanine and getting read loudly in Spanish.

Hellraiser · « **Reply #30 on:** January 22, 2010, 06:44:42 pm »

Oh the smell of spilled poppers...that takes me back LOL

next2u · « **Reply #31 on:** January 22, 2010, 07:42:04 pm »

you know, im feeling rather innocent after reading all these posts. i first stepped foot in a bathouse in dec 08/jan 09 and last stepped foot in one on jan 09.

hmm, interesting. poppers and condoms u say. its good to have options and better to have stories...

miss p, u will dish when we meet.

GNYC09 · « **Reply #32 on:** January 22, 2010, 07:59:30 pm »

Quote from: Miss Philicia on January 22, 2010, 12:57:22 am

Ugh, no way... I found the whole situation distasteful and subservient. I can only date strong willed guys otherwise I just steam roll over them in a heartbeat without an ounce of remorse.

Oh, and this wasn't the only Santeria practitioner I've had either. I once hooked up with a Santeria priest who gave me a two hour rim job in the South Bronx, and then took me out for cuchifritos.

Click here for the uninitiated: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuchifritos

Oh my god, I almost peed my pants this made me laugh so hard!!

Modified to add: Bijoux in E. Village is still open but these days it's populated by what appears to be the living dead (complete with dusty clothes and dirty fingernails).

Miss Philicia · « **Reply #33 on:** January 22, 2010, 08:09:03 pm »

Hmm, not sure why I thought the Bijoux had closed, but then I've not been in such a place since 1999 I think. Once I married The Nigerian™ I had to shut down the shenanigans and eliminate all travel to the Caribbean. Anyway, I always preferred picking up trade on the subway.

Miss Philicia · « **Reply #34 on:** January 22, 2010, 10:34:42 pm »

So Spartacus is now on and I can attest to frequent sightings of Andy Whitfield's muscular exposed buttocks. They're rather exceptional.

next2u · « **Reply #35 on:** January 22, 2010, 11:26:47 pm »

i'm assuming ull be posting a most awesome pic of andy whitfield's posterior soon.

Rev. Moon · « **Reply #36 on:** January 23, 2010, 09:57:56 pm »

Quote from: Miss Philicia on January 22, 2010, 04:19:17 pm

Hospitality consisted of a bowl of Oreos and a bowl of condoms... I'm sure you can imagine which bowl got used.

But I saved myself up for my jaunts to San Juan and the now shuttered Steamworks where I used to give public shows for the benefit of the local inhabitants. Nothing like spilling an entire bottle of poppers from the mezzanine and getting read loudly in Spanish.

Hmmm, Barbara dear, I had missed this reply of yours. Oreos, unused condoms, spilled poppers... sounds like one of them secret bareback parties in the Bronx. What a Fellini-esque visual you have given me.

Miss Philicia · « **Reply #37 on:** January 24, 2010, 02:32:58 am »

Quote from: livebythemoon on January 23, 2010, 09:57:56 pm

sounds like one of them secret bareback parties in the Bronx. What a Fellini-esque visual you have given me.

Oh no dear -- that would be those infamous secret soirees I attended at the Latino Fan Club studios in Spanish Harlem where I'd get accosted by one of their "straight" stars, Midnight and his wife. She was out of control and would never leave me alone, but she spoke hardly any English so I just did my graceful smile and nod routine.

next2u · « **Reply #38 on:** January 24, 2010, 12:33:39 pm »

Quote from: Miss Philicia on January 24, 2010, 02:32:58 am

Oh no dear -- that would be those infamous secret soirees I attended at the Latino Fan Club studios in Spanish Harlem where I'd get accosted by one of their "straight" stars, Midnight and his wife. She was out of control and would never leave me alone, but she spoke hardly any English so I just did my graceful smile and nod routine.

tell me more now. lfc SECRET soirees? how the hell did these come about? what happened? did you get to meet romeo castillo, junior mac, or freddy mac? do tell.

Miss Philicia · « **Reply #39 on:** January 24, 2010, 12:45:31 pm »

Quote from: next2u on January 24, 2010, 12:33:39 pm

tell me more now. lfc SECRET soirees? how the hell did these come about? what happened? did you get to meet romeo castillo, junior mac, or freddy mac? do tell.

I've actually met both Junior Mac and Freddy Mac. Freddy was either gay or at least bisexual, and for a while he was a bartender at this dive bar popular with gay Dominican guys way, way uptown. Of course, I infiltrated that whole scene but IIRC I found that when I was dating a well-endowed Dominican heroin addict in the mid-90's. And let me tell you, I'd pull down some good cock in that bar.

Junior Mac was totally straight, though oddly I ran into him at the Black Party @ Roseland. Also ran into him looking really, really hot at Orchard Beach, which is up in the Bronx, wearing an orange speedo and cruising girls. He was on the short side, whereas Freddy was a big boy.

There's was also a time when C-Note and Image were calling my apartment, but they wanted to date my roommate who was a straight girl with large porn sized breasts. As I recall Image was a moron, but had a motorcycle and C-Note was actually nice but still lived with Mommy.

According to that wikipedia entry Romeo is now dead. He was a total stunner though, but I don't recall meeting him. He may have been at one of the parties dancing as a stripper but I'm just vague on all of this.

Oh, here's another good one -- do you know who the fashion model Will LeMay is? When he first moved to NYC to model, before he became a huge deal, he actually worked as a stripper at a gay dive in Queens that not many people knew about. It was a place called Magic Touch, and it was like something out of a John Waters movie, except the cast was all latino and up on the bar tea bagging like they were at the Fudge Palace. I used to go there a LOT once I found the place, it was just so seedy and legendary. I turned on so many other queens to that place. Good times!

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Author Topic: so tomorrow my cute lil' Rican cable technician arrives... (Read 15533 times)