Worried.

[Scared_Straight]

I slept with a transexual escort on Friday night, a fantasy I've had for a long time. We used condoms for everything other than oral (mutual), she kept replacing condoms too, i assume to make sure they weren't splitting or whatever. She would have known what she was doing. This was my first and ever only 'gay' experience, and there was a condom on at all times during (mutual) intercourse.

Early Sunday morning I start breaking out in cold sweats and my temperature is extremely high. Coughing up phlegm, runny nose etc, also diarrhea. I had been feeling slightly ill the week running up to Friday night though. I went to the doctors last night (which was the worst I've felt since Friday) and he thinks it's the flu, and has prescribed me antibiotics. But he would have no reason to suspect HIV... Could I have had the flu and made it worse by going out over the weekend?

I understand flu symptoms are also hiv symptoms and I'm pretty worried tbh, I also suffer from anxiety. These symptoms aren't new to me or anything, it feels like any flu I've had before, are early hiv symptoms EXACTLY the same? Is there any way I can distinguish the 2? Have I just coincidentally caught the flu at unfortunate timing? How soon after infection did you start to feel the flu like symptoms? can HIV make you feel so ill within only 2 days? Any other advice greatly appreciated.

I have contacted the escort online anonymously and she told me she gets blood tested every 3 months and her health and her clients is very important to her, and she was last tested 2 weeks ago. She has alot of positive feedback and has been doing this a while, and is still offering services right now... Does this make it likely she doesn't have HIV? She has an official website etc and seems high-end with a good reputation.

I also checked her customers who left her recent feedback and they have visited other girls since, therefor appear to be feeling well. I am aware this is clutching at straws to try and convince myself... It's been five days since the night and the flu seems to be getting much better, today I feel alot better than yesterday, and I can see it being gone in the next few days...

I'm still seriously considering getting tested when I have a moment to myself. Is there any advice anyone can offer from personal experience such as when the symptoms typically begin and end? Does HIV seroconversion come and go within the first week? I left the booking feeling fine about it and I felt fine the next day, but as soon as I started experiencing the flu over the weekend I panicked. Am I putting 2 and 2 together and coming up with 5?

Thank you for reading.

[Jeff G]

There is allot to address in your post so bare with me . You did not have a risk for HIV in any of the things you are concerned with . We do not go down the road of discussing symptoms because to do so would be to engage in a guessing game . The only way to know if you have HIV is to test and not by symptoms that could be caused from many other things than HIV . You did not have a risk in this situation so if this is your only concern then you are worrying over nothing .

Your HIV status is your own personal responsibility so you should not be trying to ascertain your partners status by quizzing them . Even if she has HIV in the end it only matters what your status is because not every exposure results in an infection ... an exposure you did not have I might add . Because of window periods and stigma that surrounds HIV you can never trust the truth about anyone's HIV status but your own . 

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Although you did not have a risk and do not need to test for this specific incident , anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

[Scared_Straight]

Hi Jeff thanks for the quick reply and the useful information. But isn't there risk involved in the oral? for example if I had a cut/ulcer in my mouth or vice versa? What about pre-cum etc?

I do plan to test, when would the best time be to test if it was last Friday I'm worried about.

[Jeff G]

Hi Jeff thanks for the quick reply and the useful information. But isn't there risk involved in the oral? for example if I had a cut/ulcer in my mouth or vice versa? What about pre-cum etc?

I do plan to test, when would the best time be to test if it was last Friday I'm worried about.

If you had significant open deep wounds in your mouth and your partner has a high HIV viral load then its a theoretical risk at best . Oral transmission of HIV rarely if ever happens and clearly does not figure into your risk assessment .

You did have not have a risk for HIV . If there had been a risk I would beg you to go get tested and seek treatment if need be . Its safe to move on from this concern . 

[Scared_Straight]

Visited a ts escort after reading good reviews. All was going well until I was about to be topped. I assumed shed put the condom on as a professional who advocates safe sex on her profile. She started rubbing her bare penis on my anus. I reached back to see if there was a Condom on and couldn't believe she hasn't put one on yet. She says it's ok I wasn't going to come. So basically my worry is she had her bare penis rubbing against my anus, although not entering it even a bit. She didn't come and proceeded to top me with a condom and still didn't come. Was there a high risk from her penis touching my anus like that for a minute or so?!

Any help greatly appreciated

[Jim Allen]

Hi

Rubbing her penis against you is not a risk, not even if it was against your anus.
non-penetrative sex such as described in your post is not an independent risk.

No need to worry or specifically test over this incident, simply continue to practice safer sex, and test yearly for all STI including but not limited to HIV.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:
You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions. As you are sexually active, it is highly recommended that you get a full sexual health check-up / screening at least annually including but not limited to hiv testing.

Remember that some sexual practices which may be described as ‘safe’ in terms of HIV transmission might still pose a risk for transmission of other STI's. So please do get fully tested regularly for all STI's including HIV and more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs. Also note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and the only way of knowing is by testing.

Finally use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, to avoid sexually transmitted hiv infection.

Kind regards

Jim

Please Note.
As a member of the AM I Infected Forum you are required to only post in this one thread no matter how long between visits or the subject matter. You can find this thread by going to your profile and selecting show own post and it will take you here . It helps us to help you when you keep all your thoughts or questions in one thread and it helps other readers to follow the discussion. Any additional threads will be deleted.

[Scared_Straight]

Hi Jim I appreciate your time. I guess my logic was if hiv is transferred by anal penetration, surely there's some risk in a penis rubbing against an anus, if say, there was precum on the penis?

[Jim Allen]

Hi

No it was simply outside the body , you are over thinking this and for no reason.
Rubbing against your anus is not a risk, dipping unprotected inside it is.

If what you said is correct than you have no need to worry or specifically test over this incident, simply continue to practice safer sex, and test yearly for all STI including but not limited to HIV.

Jim

[Scared_Straight]

Thanks and I understand it was outside the body, but say there was precum present being rubbed on me, then immediately after I receive protected penetration, would that not push any possible infected precum inside me?

[Jim Allen]

Hi

No as HIV does not survive outside the human body and once hiv finds itself exposed outside the body to air, small changes in temperature, pH / moisture levels all quickly damage the virus and render it unable to infect.

Simply continue to practice safer sex, and test yearly for all STI including but not limited to HIV.

Remember that some sexual practices which may be described as ‘safe’ in terms of HIV transmission might still pose a risk for transmission of other STI's.

Jim

[Scared_Straight]

The more I think about it the more I'm sure this person was 100% trying to penetrate me unprotected if I didn't resist, and I'm getting angrier and angrier about it. When I reached back to check if covered the penis was covered in lube. So rather than calling this rubbing or frottage, what's the risk of someone attempting to penetrate, not simply rubbing but poking, pushing against you trying to enter and failing? If this was Thursday night am I too late to start treatment?

[Jim Allen]

Hi

You have added nothing new, a persons intent and/or attempt to do something does not change the risk assessment.

I've already answered this rubbing or pushing against your anus is not a risk, dipping unprotected inside it is.

Jim

EDIT to add:

Ill add that If you continue to post the about the same no risk situation it will lead to a 28 day ban from the forum as we simply can not help you.  Consider this a warning.

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

[Scared_Straight]

Hi

You have added nothing new, a persons intent and/or attempt to do something does not change the risk assessment.

I've already answered this rubbing or pushing against your anus is not a risk, dipping unprotected inside it is.

Jim

EDIT to add:

Ill add that If you continue to post the about the same no risk situation it will lead to a 28 day ban from the forum as we simply can not help you.  Consider this a warning.

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Excuse me but I paid for the right to post in this section multiple times. I'll leave but I'm requesting a refund since that offer is apparently bs or mods are contradicting the terms.

[Wade]

Hi ,
There is nothing contradicting...Its policy , if we cant help you with your fears
you are given a time out to seek face to face counseling we can not provide.
As promised...

[Scared_Straight]

Hi I received anal recently. I admit to being somewhat paranoid in the past on here and told myself not to post every time I had an experience, and I have been doing well, but despite making more of a conscious effort to be safe and careful I need to know if I had an accidental risk or not. This is only one of a few times I've bottomed so not sure if this was normal (the other 2 times I was drunk and showered right after.) My partner had a condom on and squeezed a lot of lube on me. I saw him put a condom on and wear it during and then remove it after we finished, with a some cum inside it, then toss it in the bin. The whole thing lasted maybe less than 10 mins. It didn't look broken or leaking but I didn't touch it. I felt safe and fine but on the drive home felt stuff squelching between my cheeks and leaking out of my ass. My heart instantly sank. Is there any way the condom could have broke or anything and I got cum in my ass? Or is this simply the lube dribbling out and normal? I got home and wiped and it didn't really feel or look like semen, but I can't say for sure. Maybe a little too clear/watery and sticky to be cum but I might just be trying to reassure myself. Sorry for the following terminology I dunno what else to call it but does being 'cream pied' feel anything like lube? Would I have known if it was actually cum coming out of me? and is lube coming out like this normal after bottoming? (If that's all it was). Is there a good chance the condom broke and I was leaking my partners semen?

[Wade]

HIV is sexually transmitted through UNPRTECTED anal and vaginal intercourse
You were protected by a condom and you would have known if it had failed they are designed to shred leaving no doubt. It is safe to move on.

Best, Wade

Please Note.


As a member of the AM I Infected Forum you are required to only post in this one thread no matter how long between visits or the subject matter. You can find this thread by going to your profile and selecting show own post and it will take you here . It helps us to help you when you keep all your thoughts or questions in one thread and it helps other readers to follow the discussion. Any additional threads will be deleted.