POZ Community Forums
HIV Prevention and Testing => Do I Have HIV? => Topic started by: Oops on October 07, 2006, 04:13:10 pm
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I had anal sex for the first time (receptive) I thought I was being safe, but now I am nervous. It was protected, condom used. My question is that when he came, he thrust a few more times. Now when I took the condom off, I noticed that the semen was not just at the tip of the condom, but spread throughout. I am worried that after he came, he thrust, which could mean the semen moved up the condom, but what if some came out of the opening near the base of his penis and slid down the outside as he continued to thrust? Is that a risk? Do I need to test? I did fill the condom with water later and there were no holes, but there was semen on all over the inside to the top. I don't want to get fixated on this and dwell if I don't need to. Can you give me some advice. I thank all of you in advance for your kindness.
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Ooops, I think you're ok this time out. Condoms provide very effective protection. And even with some of the semen having dispersed around in the condom you're still ok.
As for breakage, when a condom fails it's not a subtle event. You really know it because it falls apart.
So I don't see any need for testing in relation to this incident. What I do recommend to anyone who's sexually active is to regularly have a full STD panel done. That means at least annually and more frequently if there's anything genuinely risky like intercourse without a condom.
There are other STDs out there which are much easier to acquire than HIV, which is why testing regularly is a good idea. As far as this time is concerned I don't see any cause for further worry. If you're new to anal sex along with the excitement there can also be a certain amount of anxiety, which may account for your concern. In any case whether that's true for you or not, you're ok this time.
Cheers,
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Thanks for your reply. I don't want this to become something that I am fixated on and let it ruin my everyday life. I used a lot of lube and thought I was doing everything right. Is it possible that I could become infected this way. I don't know for sure if the semen was out of the top of the condom, but it was near it and spread throughout the condom when I took it off him. Is this common or did I do something wrong? Should I move on and put this behind me? I KNOW that the condom didn't break, but was suprised to see semen up near the top so I thought is it possible for it to come out and then infect me?
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Oops,
I agree with Andy that you don't need to worry in this instance. It's highly unlikely that any cum would have gotten inside you, as the top of the condom would have remained outside. It's getting cum inside your bottom that you need to guard against, and condoms are very effective in this regard. If what you describe were a real risk, we'd know about it by now.
Please have a look at the condom and lube links in my signature line, so you can be confident in their use and make sure your top is using them correctly.
I don't see a need for testing over this specific incident either, but like Andy, I also recommend regular, routine, full sexual health care check ups.
Ann
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Thank you Ann and Andy so much for replying. I am trying my best not to let this eat at me, but honestly it is a little. Can you help me with one more thing? How can I make sure this doesn't happen again? Is this pretty common? Is this something I or he did wrong with the condom? We used a lot of lube and put the condom on correctly, how can I avoid this in the future? One last thing, I should put the thought of HIV out of my mind for this incident?
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Ooops,
Did you read through the condom and lube links in my signature line? Your questions will be answered if you do. Probably the best way to avoid what happened in this instance is to make sure your top withdraws as soon as he ejaculates.
I think you should put hiv out of your mind for this incident, yes. Now that you're becoming sexually active, it's time to start thinking of having routine sexual health check ups, but not necessarily in relation to this incident, just in general.
Ann
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Thanks for your response Ann. I really appreciate it. I did read the link about condoms and I did all of that. Used a lot of lube, had space for semen, and all of that. I keep running it through my head. Even if it did have some spill out near the top, I don't think it could go in with all of the lube and stuff right? Have you heard of this happening before? I can't be the only one, can I?
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Anyone else had a situation like this?
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Oops,
I'm quite sure this sort of thing happens all the time. I'm also quite sure you've got nothing to worry about.
Ann
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One more question and I am moving on from this. Do I need to worry about gonehrrea or Chlamydia from this incident? I always worry about it, that is why I practice safe sex, but what about with this incident? I know there is a risk for the std's that can be transmitted through just touch, herpes, etc., but what about Gon. or Chlam.?
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You had protected sex, you will not get Gonorrhea or Chlamydia.
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So it was considered "safe sex"? I feel a lot better. Thanks for all of your replys.
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So tell me "straight", no pun intended, I have no HIV risk? I would just love to hear it, or have it yelled at me! You now how sometimes you just need someone to say those words, I know it is stupid, but it would help. I do TRULY feel so much better thanks to all of you for your caring and advice.
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Oops, what did Dr. HHH just tell you. Why are you coming back and forth between message board? Read the above replies that you have been given and go back to the reply from Dr. HHH that you paid for. There are no difference in the replies to you.
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Your right and I am sorry. I guess I was just looking for someone to come out and say no risk. You know what I mean?
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Hi all, I finally got the courage to speak to a family friend about my encounter. He said that it wouldn't be considered safe sex if you weren't sure if there was semen out of the top. I am not sure. I don't think so, but I don't knkow. I was trusting this person to be understanding, but I guess I chose the wrong person to confide in. This whole sex thing is so complicated! I thought I was safe, but it is awful when you have to question yourself. Then I reread the posts, I think your ok this time out, just make me feel I don't know what I did wrong, I thought I did everything right. I put the condom on, made sure it was on correctly, and through the whole thing. I am a pretty smart person, I thought. I guess I am just venting. Thanks for listening
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Would you classify my encounter as a no risk when it comes to HIV ?
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No risk for HIV and STDs...
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even if the guy was HIV +?
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Even if the guy was positive. You had protected sex. period. Do you think people quit having sex because they are positive? We use protection just like you. You don't get infected by correctly using condoms inwhich you did.
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I know that you are probably tired of hearing from me, but it is nice to have a place to talk about all of this. I thought that I would be able to push all of this aside, but I keep running it through my head and then all of the little what if's start coming into play. Then I think, well no one else said they had an experience like mine so I think maybe it is kind of unusual, then maybe I had a significant risk. THen I tell myself I had the risk, but it would be small, but it is that there was a risk and then I focus on that. Am I crazy or what. I just don't want to feel like this every time I have sex. Any advice on how to deal with my situation?
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Seek the help of a mental health professional for your unwarranted fears. You are beyond our scope of expertise.
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But if there is a risk, even small, doesn't that mean that it is possible, not an unwarranted fear?
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Oops,
Theoretical risk is not small risk. It's theoretical. So is the fact that a meteorite may fall on your head the next time you walk out your front door. Do you constantly fret that this may happen also?
Condoms have been proven to prevent hiv infection. There are countless serodiscordant couples around the world who use condoms and the negative partner remains negative. Things like what you describe happen all the time.
If you want to continue to worry about that, you have a few choices, including getting yourself some counseling and testing to confirm your negative status. However, there's not much more we can do for you here. We've given you the facts, now it's up to you what to do with them.
Ann
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Thank you all for your support. I do have an apointment with a counselor and I went in for an std test. I know you are all going to tell me to get help, but has there ever been a case of a clinic reusing a needle and someone being infected?. I never saw the nurse open the needle when she drew blood. I know that it is probably an unwarranted fear, but maybe I need to hear that. Like I said I made an appointment with a counselor, but it isn't until next week.
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Ooops,
Clinics aren't in the business of infecting people. They are trained in the correct and hygienic use of needles so no, you don't have to worry about needles being re-used. Although yours is a common fear, it is nonetheless unwarranted.
I sure hope you can let this go when you get your negative result.
Ann
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Thank you for taking the time to respond. I appreciate you not just writing me off. Have there been any cases of that happening? I had a test for Gonorhea, chlamydia, and syphillis, that was the one she drew blood for. I didn't have an HIV test yet, because it is still too early. I have also been doing a lot of thinking and realize I was safe. Now I was just wondering about the reuse of needles. I should have asked her if it was a new one. It was a larger town I went to and didn't know anyone. It was the county health dept.
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Would a test at 8 weeks past possible exposure be satisfactory? Can I be sure it is good? It will be 8 weeks soon. i am doing my best to let the needle thing go. I just didn't know if it had happened before and no one responded.
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Oops,
As you have been repeatedly told, you have not had a risk in the first place. Condoms have been proven to prevent hiv infection and the circumstances you describe do not constitute a risk.
You can test at any time for a conclusive result. And you would NOT have been infected when you had that blood test.
Ann
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Hey so receptive protected anal sex is no risk for HIV? I am moving on with my life and I just want to make sure that if I have anal sex and the condom doesn't fail and we use plenty of lube it is no risk. Is that right. I just don't want to be one of those people that think they have to test after ever sexual contact even when safe. You probably already know that I have the potential to be one.
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Latex condoms provide very effective protection. Make sure that the lube used is a water-based one.
And yes, that's right. As long as a condom is used you're having protected intercourse.
In general it's a good idea if you're sexually active to have a full STD panel done regularly -- at least annually.
Keep those condoms handy, use them consistently and you should be fine as far protection from HIV.
Cheers,
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So as long as I use condoms correctly with the right lube, I can go my whole life and not worry about contracting HIV?
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Andy has already answered your question.
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I am always in the habit of using a condom for all types of sex oral vaginal anal or otherwise. I did do something I am wondering about. I was with a man and briefly performed oral sex. I mean no more than 15 seconds, he was flaccid, I was going to put a condom if he could get erect. He didn't and it stopped there. I then of course remembered I had a canker sore on my cheek. Did I put myself at risk. I was also on antibiotics at the time so I don't know if that matters. Can you give me some advice?
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is this an event I should test over?
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Giving oral, especially without ejaculation, is way at the low end of the risk scale. There is very little evidence to indicate it's a risk, mostly anecdotal and unconfirmed.
On the other hand there is much more evidence via longterm studies of sero-discordant couples who had lots of protected intercourse both anal & vaginal and lots of unprotected oral, that not one sero-negative partner became infected.
So the issue of oral comes down mainly to deciding how much risk you are prepared to live with.
Personally I would not think it necessary to test over this incident including with the details you have mentioned. In general we do say that anyone who's sexually active would be wise to have a full STD panel done at least annually.
This time I don't see cause for further concern about this incident.
Cheers,
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Thanks for the reply. I do get a regular std panel done. I am trying to be responsible when it comes to sex. My only concern was really the canker sore. It wasn't bleeding or anything like that, just a pale whiteish bump. Would that have an impact? I wasn't freaking out about precum, because I made sure there was none and it was in my mouth three different times, each no more than 5 seconds max!! I
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Nothing to be concerned about.
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I made myself a promise that if that was the responses you all told me, that was it!! I am putting it behind me and not letting it take me over. Thank you so much for your quick responses.
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Oops,
I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread.
If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.
Please also read through the Welcome Thread (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=220.0) so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.
I'm in total agreement with Andy and Rodney - this was nothing to worry about.
Ann
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Do you think I need to worry about any other std's since it was so short and I don't believe there were any fluids. I don't see how there could have been since he wasn't arroused.
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Oops,
As you have been told, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check up at least once a year. If your sexual activities include oral sex, then you should also have them swab your throat for the likes of gonorrhea.
It's up to you whether or not you take our advice on regular sexual health check ups, but it is what responsible adults do.
Ann
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THanks for the replies, I do get tested for STD's yearly, I was just wondering if I should be worried about it for this incident. FOr example if the person had an STD for example gonerrhea, would it just infect my throat or would I be able to pass it through my penis? I don't know about that stuff. I was just mainly worried about HIV, even though it was brief there was a small sore in my mouth. I diidn't want anyone to get mad, I know i have already been told " anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check up at least once a year." I wasn't doubting that at all. I just had that question.
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If a person got an STD for example gonerrhea, from performing oral sex, would it just infect my throat or would I be able to pass it through my penis? I don't know about that stuff. Is it because there was no fluid that I don't have to worry about HIV? I know it was a short time, but that little canker sore on the side of my cheek worried me, it was completely gone two days later. Please don't be upset at my questions.
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Ooops,
If you get gonorrhea in your throat, it stays in your throat. If you get it in your genitals, it stays in your genitals.
Unless you're unusually limber and can do things to yourself that the rest of us can't. ;)
Ann
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Am I correct that HIV should not be a concern with this incident? If I was tested at 20 days after the event using NAT would that be conclusive?.
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Did I even have a risk to begin with that was worth testing over?
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Reread the replies already given.
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Then would an NAT at that time be conclusive?
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Go read the lesson section. You can find the links in the "Welcome" thread.
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I did read through the lessons, but it doesn't mention NAT testing, am I wrong. I am sorry if I am being a bother, I just wanted to know about it if it would be conclusive.
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What kind of risk did you have? YOU DIDN'T. So it wouldn't matter what kind of test you took or when you took the test. YOU DID NOT HAVE A RISK.
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.
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Oops,
NAT testing isn't used for general diagnostic purposes. It's used to test donated blood and that is why it is not included in our Testing lesson. We only list test that are in public diagnostic use.
You don't need to test over this incident, you only need to test if it is time for your regular, routine sexual health check up. One of the standard ELISA tests will suffice. You certainly don't need NAT testing.
Ann
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I apologize for the excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation. I didn't realize that I did that. I didn't mean to be a bother and most definitely didn't mean to make anyone so upset. Thank you for your time. I will not let it happen again.