Author Topic: Dear Agony Aunts... (Read 6453 times)

anniebc · « **on:** October 17, 2009, 09:11:11 pm »

I think my husband is having an affair but I'm not 100% sure..do I talk to him about my suspicions or do I keep my mouth shut and hope it's just a fling...please advise...

Worried in EnZed

Oceanbeach · « **Reply #1 on:** October 17, 2009, 09:25:15 pm »

Dear Worried,

You should not be concerned unless your husband begins singing songs like "Ewe Send ME" or "Since I Fell For Ewe"

Anne Landers

AndyArrow · « **Reply #2 on:** October 18, 2009, 01:51:56 am »

Dear Worried,

Where there is smoke there is usually fire. I'm guessing this isn't the first time he's told you he's just doing his Shari Lewis impersonation. You just be careful you don't get your heart broken my little lamb chop!

Abigail Van Buren

anniebc · « **Reply #3 on:** October 18, 2009, 02:37:56 am »

Dear Anne and Abigail

Thank you so much for your advise, he started singing "It had to be Ewe" but not sure if that means anything or not, or if he is just trying to pull the wool over my eyes, I just feel so Baaaad right now~~sob~~

BTW Anne when you see Michael please tell him it's great to see him back again..

Hugs
Worried in Enzed.

Oceanbeach · « **Reply #4 on:** October 18, 2009, 02:46:52 am »

Dear Worried,

Anne and Abigail as twin sisters in the advice business have always run neck and neck in competition. It should be noted that it was Anne and not Abigail who advised it was possible to get pregnant in a swimming pool not by the swimming pool.

Have the best day
Anne Landers

joemutt · « **Reply #5 on:** October 18, 2009, 03:18:16 am »

Dear Worried,
You should applaud your husband for being such a fine and 'upstanding'
citizen, upholding the most cherished tradition of your country.
He's just performing his patriotic duties,
Big in Bangkok

J.R.E. · « **Reply #6 on:** October 18, 2009, 04:43:40 am »

LOL !!

No more woolite in his laundry !!

Ray

poz1970 · « **Reply #7 on:** October 18, 2009, 05:15:08 am »

Make him watch that "black sheep" horror movie!!!

J

Dachshund · « **Reply #8 on:** October 18, 2009, 08:39:06 am »

Better tell hubby to put on his kilt. Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.

Oceanbeach · « **Reply #9 on:** October 18, 2009, 08:44:24 am »

Remind the sheep that they and a spinning wheel is a do it yourself sweater kit! Is that Armani you are wearing? Well it feels like wool.

Have the best day
Michael

Cliff · « **Reply #10 on:** October 18, 2009, 08:58:34 am »

Judging by his mounting position, I'd say he's done this before!!! Yes, you should be worried. But probably not as much as that cute little thing. She seems completely oblivious to the impending offense!

GNYC09 · « **Reply #11 on:** October 18, 2009, 09:34:37 am »

That ewe is a hussy. She's just asking for it. It looks like your husband is just kindly sending her along her way.

Ann · « **Reply #12 on:** October 18, 2009, 10:08:04 am »

Are you sure she's not his Significant Udder and you're the interloper?

Jerry Springer

Assurbanipal · « **Reply #13 on:** October 18, 2009, 10:13:12 am »

Dear Worried

Once a loved one begins to Handel the stock matters can deteriorate rapidly, with some developing fixations on the end of days or the Messiah. There have been recent studies suggesting help through sublimation using weekly CBT (choral breathing therapy). More at this link.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GeAGb9KK1cs&feature=related

(For we like sheep, We like sheep, Have gone astra aaa aaa aay...)

A. Urban Pal

Edit, for punishment

bocker3 · « **Reply #14 on:** October 18, 2009, 12:17:01 pm »

Well, I suppose one shouldn't be surprised. This "hussy" seems more than capable of taking some romantic "wee walks" with hubby. Rumor has it that someone has not been performing her wifely duties in that department.

Also, this OP is in danger of being reported for their causing a seemingly endless string of cringe-worthy puns.

Mike
(who actually thinks it gets to down to the natural thing to do as Springs arrives down under.....)

Jeff G · « **Reply #15 on:** October 18, 2009, 01:47:56 pm »

No one likes a cheater but Im from Alabama where these type of affairs happen all the time ... Or so I have been told that is .

anniebc · « **Reply #16 on:** October 18, 2009, 05:58:09 pm »

You are all quite mad, but Ewe all know that don't Ewe..

Again thank you all so much for your advise, I have learnt much from your awful puns and much loved advise...i.e I now know why hubby wears track pants (no zippers).

I've been playing mind games with her, I sat in the paddock with the cleaver on my knee, had a wee word with her and then just stared her down, she backed off after 10 mins, I think it worked and she has had a word or two with the other girls because hubby and I have just got back in, it took us over an hour to round them up for the shearer, they just scattered to every corner of the paddock, they looked pretty scare if you ask me..they are not normally like that, they normally follow like sheep

Bocker..I don't do "wee walks" I do hiking, my paddocks are pretty steep, so I do my duty, above and beyond any other farmers wife I know.

Thanks to your wonderful advise I think my marriage will survive.

Quote

Dear Worried,
You should applaud your husband for being such a fine and 'upstanding'
citizen, upholding the most cherished tradition of your country.
He's just performing his patriotic duties,

Joe I'm thinking of changing to Beef, you don't/can't mess around with those big boys...

Hugs
From "No longer worried".

Basquo · « **Reply #17 on:** October 18, 2009, 06:17:36 pm »

New Zealand...where men are men, and sheep are nervous.

anniebc · « **Reply #18 on:** October 18, 2009, 06:25:18 pm »

Quote

New Zealand...where men are men, and sheep are nervous.

Not any more..or at least not on this farm, I've even confiscated their lippy, no more make up for my girls....but of course I can't speak for the other sheep farms around..

Hugs
Jan

Ric Wilke · « **Reply #19 on:** October 18, 2009, 08:21:38 pm »

OMG, New Zealand in spring sounds as bad as my brother's farm with over 8,000 heifers in heat!

fearless · « **Reply #20 on:** October 18, 2009, 09:38:48 pm »

I'm sure he's just checking for flystrike Jan.

Robert · « **Reply #21 on:** October 18, 2009, 10:19:10 pm »

Dear Worried.

This is all very natural. this is just animal husbandry in action.

No need to worry.

Oceanbeach · « **Reply #22 on:** October 18, 2009, 10:34:35 pm »

Quote from: anniebc on October 18, 2009, 06:25:18 pm

Not any more..or at least not on this farm, I've even confiscated their lippy, no more make up for my girls....but of course I can't speak for the other sheep farms around..

Hugs
Jan

I must have missed the passage in Emily Post where it is OK to heap all the abuse on the sheep

Have the best day
Michael

anniebc · « **Reply #23 on:** October 18, 2009, 11:02:14 pm »

Quote from: fearless on October 18, 2009, 09:38:48 pm

I'm sure he's just checking for flystrike Jan.

Yeah right Steve..that's what he told me, but that excuse and, "it relaxes them when they have their back scratched" has been used so many times, I find it hard to believe him anymore...

Thanks for that Robert but why is it only the pretty ones who get his attention?..that's what I want to know.

@ Michael

Hugs
Jan

Oceanbeach · « **Reply #24 on:** October 19, 2009, 02:54:39 am »

Quote from: bocker3 on October 18, 2009, 12:17:01 pm

Also, this OP is in danger of being reported for their causing a seemingly endless string of cringe-worthy puns.

Sayeth thy Lord, there will be puns and it was good.

Have the best day
Michael

Cliff · « **Reply #25 on:** October 19, 2009, 04:43:50 am »

Quote from: fearless on October 18, 2009, 09:38:48 pm

I'm sure he's just checking for flystrike Jan.

What's flystrike?

anniebc · « **Reply #26 on:** October 19, 2009, 04:53:50 am »

Quote from: Cliff on October 19, 2009, 04:43:50 am

What's flystrike?

LOL..that's when their bums get all shitty and are not dagged, (cleaned up) the flies gather lay their eggs and the maggots start to burrow into the poor sheep causing sores and pain to the rear end...not pleasant at all, so we keep a check on them and keep them clean....well you did ask

Hugs
Jan

Cliff · « **Reply #27 on:** October 19, 2009, 05:03:24 am »

Yeah, I kinda regret asking now. $:-\$

Theyer · « **Reply #28 on:** October 23, 2009, 07:18:18 am »

Ann,
Don,t be so naive you have heard farmers talk about there cows ,you have seen how they are prepared for the county show. False hope I fear. And I am not talking mucky hanky panky its the emotional investment that hurts.
love Michael

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Author Topic: Dear Agony Aunts... (Read 6453 times)