Can you put my mind at rest?

[avivlingldn]

Hi there,

Wondering if you can offer me some advice and assurance as I'm currently in a state of complete panic and worry, which I know in my heart of hearts is unjustified, but I can't stop panicking none the less. I'm a positive gay male, and on two stupid drunken occasions have allowed a friend to give me a blowjob. I say blowjob loosely, the first time was nearly five years ago (10 months before I was diagnosed) and he just sucked me for about 20 seconds, there might have been the smallest bit of pre-cum but that's all before I made him stop, and the second time three and a bit years ago (after diagnosis and three months in to Atripla treatment) the same thing happened again, but probably only lasted 10 seconds and I can't say I would have even been fully erect, if at all. Again no ejeculation. I would also add that the guy who did this had no mouth infections or anything to speak of.

The problem I have is that this guy is in a relationship with a very old and dear female  friend. He is obviously curious which is why these incidents have happened but I regret them dreadfully and feel incredibly guilty. Recently the female in the relationship has been ill a lot. She complained of armpit lumps and loose bowel movements and I've now began to make a mountain out of a mole hill and have convinced myself that I somehow passed on HIV during one of those foolish moments. Is this even possible? The only thing that does give me some piece of mind is that 16 months ago the female gave birth to their second child. She would have fallen pregnant 17 months or so after our last 'moment' and I'm fairly certain under UK law that all pregnant females are tested for HIV.

Can you put my mind at rest here? I'm wracked with guilt and panic. My friends symptoms seem to be so suggestive and I'm just terrified.

[Jim Allen]

Hi

I moved your thread to this section.

Welcome to the forum. Last time I checked in the UK,  pregnant women are offered and recommended to get a HIV test, but they can of course  "opt out". 

Now I would not feel guilty in the slightest, She is ill and I am sorry to hear that and I hope she feels better soon but it has nothing do with you. Her swollen lymph's nodes could be everything or nothing, she should talk to her GP. Now he gave you a bit of oral a few years ago it was brief without any other risk factors. Please for your own sake stop worrying and let it go.

Jim

Oh and do stick around on the forum but now your a regular member stay out of the "am I section"

Jim

[avivlingldn]

Thank you Jim. You truly believe that there was no chance of passing it on? Is it true that saliva protects the mouth against infection?

[zach]

my .02¢... I'm gonna go out on a limb so feel free to completely dismiss me

Oral sex isn't a transmission risk. But I think on an intellectual level you probably know that.

On an emotional level, it's not about her. This reads more like a self acceptance struggle than a rational fear of infecting someone.

Let go of the panic, worry, and guilt. Stop being terrified.

[avivlingldn]

Thank you guys. Reassurance is calming me down