another positive one

[justus35]

It was the begining of many downward spirals . The first thing that happend was my mom died
unexpectedly from cancer that she just found out the had like 5 days before , So while I was dealing with that  one month later I got a great nasty gift from an ex that I  was still sexing with ,and feeling sorry for myself as I really didnt want to go on without my mom , I had unprotected sex with him ,as I before then was always safe sex ,and then it happened to me...
 
 I went to the doctor for these black spots on my hands ,and feet no pains , no sores just look like black ink and as I have a mild case of ocd , my doctor told me in 3 mins that it was syphilis , so then i told her to give me all the tests (stds) all was negative except syphilis,and the hiv was still pending.

 well here we are 3 days later ,and my doctor asked me to come in ,and I revieved my news I was positive , I didnt cry ,I was still in aw over my mom,and I told my doctor that atleast my mom will never know, and I want to my id doctor 4 months later ,

 she  told me that  I was going to be ok ,and that I wud most likely die from something else my id doctor she is the best , so I April I will be starting  atripla since my vl rose to a million ,I have never seen so many numbers after one before in my life ,but my tc count was 585

 It harder for me not having my mom here than hiv is this normal, I have always been and still healthy ,it
is just taking medicine  forever sorta nerves me , ONCE you start hiv med is it possible that you  can start after your vl load gets down , or does one stay on it for life ?? i have seen where some people been off and on , I know that I will have to take meds sooner than i wanted , and I also know that I will do whatever my doctor says , just wanted  some opinions since I havent asked my dr yet .
Thanks for reading


 

[alliance]

Justus-
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss and status, it sounds like it's been hard on you. Sometimes I feel like life has handed me a real bucket of shit- but I have people around me that depend on me and a purpose and I gotta deal with this crap. I guess I got a few buckets of good stuff as well.
 I dont know enough about meds to tell you if it's forever or not - that kind of made me anxious as well. Dealing with it one day at a time helps. When I first started taking them, I felt like a dog getting put in a cage every night. I had to take my meds and then stay in bed and try to go to sleep. That feeling didnt last too long.  I didnt have too many side effects, and now I just take these damn pills cause the doctor tells me to.  I know they make me feel better, so WTF?  I think it's great that you care about yourself enough to go and listen to  your doctor, that's a great approach.
Best wishes

[Rev. Moon]

Justice, welcome to the forums.   Sorry about your diagnosis and the fact that you had to deal with it after the loss of such an important person in your life.  If I understand correctly, based on your previous posts all of this happened in 2007?  

Sounds like you have maintained a good CD4 count, even though your VL is indeed rather high (this is your current value, correct?  Do you know/recall what it was when you first got diagnosed or a few months ago? Only asking so that you keep an eye on trends).  Don't be too afraid about starting meds when the right moment comes; not everyone endures the side effects that you may have read/heard about.  In the end what matters is that you will be fighting this virus and doing what's right for your health.

As far as starting meds and then taking a "treatment break" at some point, that is something that some people have done (you may find a couple of members here who have done this in the past), but you will need to discuss that with your doctor so that it is addressed correctly.  It will depend on your trends (for all values), not on some arbitrary decision.  With that said, don't worry too much about this; there are several options nowadays, some of them very convenient and not as difficult to follow as it was several years ago.

Again, welcome to AM.  Wishing you the best,

M.

[justus35]

Thanks Alliance
 I really dont have anyone I can talk to about this , I havent told a soul but my doctors
  know of course , I have no family but my sister and she cant deal with this she as well as me still haveing issues about mom dieing I  really forget that I have this gift untill i go to the doctors or get blood work wich is every four months , if my sister ever gets to place where i feel like she wud be ok
i wud tell her ,but she is a worry wort ,and she will worrh herself to death ,and what makes it harder is that she is a nurse,and she took care of her favorite patient who had aides ,and was wasting away for like 4 months ,and she wud cry for him ,and His only  wish was to stay around long enough so he cud bury his father  who had cancer ,and he got his wish , he died like a month later ,and my sister still talkes about him ,and how he always had a smile,and in good spirits , he was postive for like thirty years and your right life can throw you some shit , but i promised myslef i will not let that happen to me when or if things get that bad I will end if for myslef , I will not be miserable on this earth !! best of luck to you , looks like your doing good ,i am still new to this , so  I understand more by and by I suppose...

[alliance]

Like your doctor told you, and mine told me- You have every reason to expect to die when you are an old man of something old men die of.
Meanwhile it's one day at a time.
You can talk to me anytime here on the forum or by private message if you wish. You're not alone here.

[Inchlingblue]

As far as how things stand currently, the ARV medications to fight HIV are to be taken "for life." I put that in quotes because the fact is that improvements are made in technology and chances are that in the not-to-distant future there will be better treatment options that don't require daily dosing or even possibly a functional cure.

The current meds are very good and tolerable. In my opinion the worst aspect is their price which makes them unaccessible to most people unless they have health insurance or can qualify for public programs such as ADAP or Medicare or Medicaid (in the US).

Treatment interruptions are not recommended. There have been reputable studies showing that STIs (Structured Treatment Interruptions) lead to higher rates of mortality and more chances of coming down with certain cancers etc.

LINK:

http://www.thebody.com/content/treat/art5049.html

Having said that, there are some people such as Shawn Decker, who blogs on Poz.com, who takes his meds (Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada) one week on, one week off and is doing well. There was also a study (called FOTO) looking at taking Atripla "Five Days On Two Days Off" and it seemed to work. This is after a person has already reached undetectable with daily dosing.

LINKS:

http://www.poz.com/articles/shawn_decker_hiv_2303_16089.shtml

http://www.hivandhepatitis.com/2009icr/ias/docs/080709_a.html

[justus35]

Thank you all for advice ,and information it was very helpful .