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Author Topic: Some help please - accidentally found out my friend has HIV - will he be ok?  (Read 1676 times)

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Offline Universe82

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Hi everyone

I have been at my best friends and have just found he is taking Atripla with I knew was a HIV med. I was in the bathroom cabinet getting a plaster and saw them.
I haven't said anything as I respect his privacy. I recently worried about myself so this has come at a time I have been researching HIV.

I know now with meds people live a long and healthy life but will he really? Will he get cancer or will a cold of mine make him very sick?

Sorry to offend but despite my knowledge which is basic, all I keep thinking is the awful stuff.
I want to be there but can't say I know as he has not chosen to tell me.

But will he be ok? I'm now very scared for him
Just given him a big kiss and made sure my son just cuddled him to bits - I'm not afraid of this I want to know if I should fear loosing him sooner than usual?

Offline kentfrat1783

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I am new to all of this as well as I was just recently Dx'd but a few of the things I can talk too, but I'm sure others will be able to chime in.

First, with today's medication those of us living with HIV live long lives just like everyone else.  Now yes, we are more prone to different types of cancer but the percentages aren't much higher then others. Usually we just get them about a decade soon then the normal age group would get them.  We just stay up on our blood work and catch it early.  We are just like everyone else.

We will also get a cold or the flu like everyone else.  Yes, I am still trying to wrap my head around this but our body will fight it off as well.  We may wash our hands  a bit more then others but nothing wrong with that.  Now I know I am one of those typical guys that when I get a cold I think death is coming and I'm a baby, but I'm sure the first time I get a cold this season I will be even worse but I'll be OK.  A cold is part of life.

Nor can you, or your kids, get the virus from a hug, kiss, using the same dishes or even using the same bathroom.  Just doesn't happen. 

Now onto something you didn't ask.  I have only told a few people about myself and right now I am OK with that.  I only have one more friend I want to tell but just not ready for that yet.  I have alluded to immune system issues but not too specific.  When people come over I hide my Rx's so they can't see what I'm taking.  I'm not sure if this was his way of telling you, by you finding it, or if he really didn't want you to see it.  My only advise is please don't change anything with your friendship over this.  I'm not sure how you could bring up the topic other then you said you were looking into it previously.  Just don't push it.

On a side note I've been told by my pharmacist that I shouldn't keep the Atripla in the bathroom as it has too much moisture in that room. Not sure why your friend is keeping it in their.

Just know it's just a condition and we can do everything that everyone else does. 

Wishing you and your friend the best.
08/28/2018 - CD4 166 (15%)  VL - <20
05/08/2018 - CD4 106 (11%)  VL - <20
03/05/2018 - CD4   90 (10%)  VL - <20
12/11/2017 - CD4   60 (  8%)  VL - The hospital forgot to run
09/07/2017 - CD4   42 (  6%)  VL  54        (1.70)
05/11/2017 - CD4     2 (  1%)  VL 169,969 (5.23)
Dx`d May 11, 2017
Location: USA

Offline Universe82

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Thank you so much :)

I don't intend on changing anything about our friendship and all the kisses and cuddles have been extra tonight

He is just that dopey when it comes to not realising I would see them lol. I am actually just about to help with a local HIV charity and he knows this so maybe he will open up in time or fears I will now be the HIV expert haha!

Thanks for all your info and I wish you well Kenneth sending lots of love and I am so happy to find this group X

Offline kentfrat1783

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That's cool you are looking at helping the local HIV charity.  There isn't one close by for me.  Closest one would be at least 2 hours away.  I need to get involved somehow as I need some people I can talk to in person about this stuff.

Yeah that may help him open up too you.  I'm sure he doesn't want you to  be the expert.  LOL 
08/28/2018 - CD4 166 (15%)  VL - <20
05/08/2018 - CD4 106 (11%)  VL - <20
03/05/2018 - CD4   90 (10%)  VL - <20
12/11/2017 - CD4   60 (  8%)  VL - The hospital forgot to run
09/07/2017 - CD4   42 (  6%)  VL  54        (1.70)
05/11/2017 - CD4     2 (  1%)  VL 169,969 (5.23)
Dx`d May 11, 2017
Location: USA

Offline Universe82

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  • Posts: 5
Never be alone always welcome to chat to me lovely. I'm not trained in HIV yet but I am a qualified counsellor by profession xx

Offline JimDublin

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    • HIV Lessons
Atripla can also be used as PEP, so its a total presumption on your part that he is living with HIV. That said if he is living with HIV he can live a normal healthy and long life, with treatment its simply no longer a game changer.

My advice is forget what you saw, its not your concern and treat your friend as you normally would.


The expected age at death of a 20-year-old patient starting ART during 200810, who had a CD4 count of more than 350 cells per μL 1 year after starting ART, was 78 years

Full published work:

https://www.poz.com/article/life-expectancy-24972-2090 (With treatment)
Life Expectancy for Young People With HIV Is Nearly Normal

HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Transmission and Risks:
HIV Transmission and Risks
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline Universe82

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  • Posts: 5
Thanks Jim

You are right it can be a PEP but I did not know this.

I am going to forget I saw it but didn't want to be a bad friend if there was something I should or could do.

Saw him today we laughed at a film, bitched about boys so life is fine :)

Online harleymc

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  • Posts: 1,073
Maybe your friend isn't dopey, maybe he just isn't worried about you knowing about his HIV. It isn't anything to be ashamed of.

Offline Tonny2

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       ojo     hello universe82...i agree with jimdublin, just forget what you saw and if he trusts you, he will let you know when ever he is ready to share his status with you..hugs
« Last Edit: November 11, 2017, 04:55:45 pm by JimDublin »


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