I just wanted to send an update for the people who are newly diagnosed. You can read about my story in my post history, but I would like to say that the 6 month mark of my diagnosis is approaching. I'm very happy to say that I have remained UD, and my CD4 is shooting up each blood test! I'm also off of Bactrim (which I think was making me feel bad, retrospectively, but necessary).
Life truly gets better after you process your diagnosis. People still love you, you can still have a normal sex life, and honestly, you can have a completely normal life. It is so hard to see that at the beginning, but use this post as a testament. Also, you start to almost enjoy the labs because you know that if you have any sickness what-so-ever, it will be caught. You will live such a long and healthy life.
I'm here for support. I'm 27, pan-sexual, live in the US, and am going to law school this Fall who got HIV from my partner's affair. I've been through it, and you can still accomplish anything.
With that being said, take time to process. It is okay to not be okay for quite sometime, this is a life changing news. However, you can come out of it once you're ready and begin to thrive. Hugs and good vibes to all of you.
juliofromid:
Hi! I'm Julio. The other day I remember you dropped a reply to my post to share some support. Thank you so much for that!
I have just read through your post and story. My heart is breaking as I read them. I totally understand how you feel because we have just gone (ultimately) similar things.
We both just had our first committed gay relationship. We both moved with our partners to a different state to start a new life together. We both had the first gay sex, were cheated, and got HIV from them at the same time. We have just passed our 6 months after our first diagnosis. And most importantly, both of us, oddly, would still stay by their side even after everything that we've gone through. I can't believe how ultimately similar our story!
I honestly teared up reading them because I really feel what you've gone through. I can't imagine how strong you are and I can't say anything else but I'm proud of you for surviving this far.
If I can share a bit of myself, it is still so hard for me to cope with everything, although I have already passed 6 months post diagnosis. Let alone being a PLHIV, being gay itself is really hard, considering my country is very strict, religious, and strongly stigmatized. Until today, nobody really knows what I'm going through, not even my parents and family. If they knew, they would totally disown me. So, I'm going through all the treatments, lab tests, and everything alone.
It is also really hard for me to gain my confidence and self-love back. I'm honestly really hopeless right now. A part of me believes that I'm just gonna grow up and die alone because I don't think anyone would ever accept me, and this has just been validated by my most recent rejection.
Recently, I have just fell in love with someone and they loved me back. However, as soon as they know I'm a PLHIV, they left me, saying that they are "scared" of me. I have tried my best educating them that it won't risk him anything, but still, the stigma is so strong that he left anyway. This is very sad, not only because he left me, but also because I can see that it's going to be a repeatable pattern knowing how strongly stigmatized HIV is here.
I just want a healthy, loving, and supportive monogamous relationship, but at this point, I don't think anyone would ever love me, at least in this country. That being said, I'm planning to move abroad, but that would cost me a lot of money and serious preparation, so I'm currently working really hard for it.
So much to do, so much to work on, and so much to achieve. Sometimes I don't think I can handle this anymore, but your posts and updates, along with many others, kept me going. So, thank you so much for that. I mean it.
Let's keep in touch. I would love to connect with you. Sending hugs and love from Indonesia! <3
Tonny2:
ojo. Hi both of you!…we all know here how difficult it’s to get an hiv dx, it doesn’t matter, at this point, how you acquired it, the most important thing is that you two are on treatment and, I think, are UD, which it’s what we all want to know after the dx. It took me from the date of my dx on November 1994 to March 2007 to become UD, lucky you that after six months you achieved being UD, keep up the good work, all it takes to control the virus is discipline and a good attitude. Let’s turn the page and go back to your lives before your dx.
@julio, I’m sorry you have to go through the rejection but, if I may, try to take your time before looking for a partner, you must digest your dx first and accept your new normal job therwise, you are going to have not just one, but two different situations to try to handle….you can always look for another hiv positive man to avoid rejection but, I Know lots of magnetic couples, just hang in there…I’m sorry you have to deal with this dx on your own, we are here for you, and know it’s not the same but it’s something, at least…good luck for both of you…hugs
Aaron55:
I just read this for the first time, thank you!