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Author Topic: Pre Cum on condom  (Read 21461 times)

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Offline dahighest

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Pre Cum on condom
« on: April 20, 2007, 05:26:14 pm »
PLEASE HELP ME...I CANT FIND MUCH INFORMATION REGARDING THE RISK LEVEL FOR THIS PRACTICE ANYWHERE


I would like to start out by saying that I am a major hypochondriac and I seem to always be anxious.  But never have I been this anxious or scared.  It started in February when I met this guy that i really began to like. He was really nice and we bonded  great. Well, on the 25th of Feb. we were intimate with one another.  There was no sex (oral or anal).  The only thing we did was grinding and mutual masturbation and I really liked how this particular guy didnt even mention having intercourse. However, after he ejaculated, I used his semen as lubrication on myself and i know it came in contact with my uretha.  He also gave me oral sex for about a minute or two and fingered me after he ejaculated (im not sure if any of his semen was on his fingertips or not)I feel so stupid about it now and I really regret doing that.  The reason I say that is because strange things started happening after that.

Two days later, i develped a chest pain that was severe whenever I took a deep breath or laughed.  I went to the doctor and he told me it was a muscle spasm probably do to stress but it could also be caused by an infection.  Exactly one week after my encounter I developed a muscle ache in my lower left back area that persisted on and off for about a week.  One week and two days after that, I had a mild sore throat and noticed a rash on both of my arms that was symmetrical (a little red and non-itchy).  The mild sore throat thing went away after a day and over the next three days developed into a dry cough (i could feel phlegm in my lungs but didnt cough anything up).  My ears were also a little blocked up on and off for a couple of days. The cough subsided in about three days.  I have been pretty okay since then. Only symptoms have been a couple of headaches that i think are due to my high anxiety because im really anxious now.  Also, I noticed that I have lost a couple of pounds, however, that could be due to me not eating, because i was depressed as the symptoms came on, as i was diagnosing myself with ARS.  Now about 8 weeks after, i still get some minor muscle aches in the same area and my vision gets blurry from time to time (this could come from all the research i've been doin on HIV via the computer).  I also dont get much sleep because I have frequent nightmares about my situation.  And the rash is still here, it is also now in my inner thigh area and my lower abdomen area. I also see it under my arms.  (they look a little brownish now and kind of remind me of ringworm, but they dont itch).  I feel like this could be ARS, but from what im readin online, there has never been a case of HIV transmitted this way.  I also would like to add that i shaved my pubic area about an hour before my encounter (if that could increase my risk any). 

I contacted the guy who said he last tested negative in december for HIV.  I ended up constantly talking about it, so he decided to get tested and his oraquick test came back negative (or so he said bc he lives in another city).  I still kept goin on about HIV and now he has stopped talking to me. I feel alone now and i feel like this irrational fear that i have of HIV is severely impacting my social life, school work, and family life.  I also got a test 6 weeks after the potential exposure and it was negative.  I have called the clinic and spoke with an HIV specialist who told me that I was fine and that my risk was very low considering that was all that happened. Believe me when i say there was NO anal penetration. IM STILL FREAKING OUT THOUGH.  DO YOU GUYS THINK THAT IM OK? ITS JUST I DONT KNOW WHAT ELSE COULD HAVE CAUSED MY SYMPTOMS AND BELIEVE ME I HAVE BEEN LOOKING. I plan on getting another test @ 9 and 12 wks. I also am starting counseling in a week to start helping me cope with my fears.  PLEASE HELP ME GUYS....IM SO SCARED...PLEASE HELP ME ASSESS MY RISK. COULD MY SYMPTOMS BE DUE TO HIV?

SORRY SO LONG

Offline Ann

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Re: Pre Cum on condom
« Reply #1 on: April 20, 2007, 07:50:22 pm »
da,

Nothing you did put you at risk for hiv infection. Mutual masturbation, even when using each others cum  for lube, is not a risk. Rubbing, aka frottage, is also not a risk and neither is fingering or getting a blowjob.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL STIs together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with a sexually transmitted infection. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Although you do NOT need to test over this specific incident, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for intercourse and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple.

Ann
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline dahighest

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Re: Pre Cum on condom
« Reply #2 on: April 20, 2007, 09:32:23 pm »
i hear everything you are saying, but what i read on some other websites frightens me a bit.  For example, several other websites warn against this type of behavior because they say that it introduces infectious fluids to the mucous membranes in the uretha.  So, my question is, "why would these websites warn against it if it isn't a risk?".

Offline Ann

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Re: Pre Cum on condom
« Reply #3 on: April 21, 2007, 05:51:42 am »
da,

It depends on the website. Some have a hidden moralistic agenda and they don't want anyone engaging in sexual activity outside a traditional, heterosexual marriage - and their info amounts to scare tactics. Others employ a CYA (cover your ass) policy and present theoretical risks as true risks, which they aren't.

I suggest you read our Welcome Thread and follow the link to the Transmission lesson where you will get the real deal on real life transmission risks. Mutual masturbation isn't one of them.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline dahighest

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Re: Pre Cum on condom
« Reply #4 on: April 23, 2007, 02:01:37 pm »
thanks ann,

i feel a liittle better hearing that. I just have one more question for you. I went to the doctor recently and described my symptoms.  He told me they were most likely due to a viral syndrome.  That scared me again and when I googled "viral syndrome", once again HIV popped up.  Are there any other viruses out there that can cause the exact same symptoms as those described with ARS? And can they be transmitted from the activities I described because I can't think of any other way I could've been exposed to a virus? Also, can ARS cause blocked ears because for about a month, my ears would stuff up on occasions?

Offline ACinKC

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Re: Pre Cum on condom
« Reply #5 on: April 23, 2007, 02:08:15 pm »
When *I* googled Viral Syndrome I only found HIV mentioned twice in the first 40 or so responses.  There were DOZENS of other "viral syndromes" out there.

Do your homework on some of those and keep working with your Doctor.  This is an HIV site and nothing you described is in any way specific to HIV and you didn't have an HIV risk in the first place.

good luck.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
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Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Pre Cum on condom
« Reply #6 on: April 23, 2007, 02:23:33 pm »
Blocked ears as a symptom of HIV? NO NO NO NO!

And for future reference, neither the presence nor the absence of any kind of symptoms will ever tell you anything accurately about your HIV status.

In situations when there has been a real risk -- and yours was NOT such a one -- then getting tested at 13 weeks after the incident is how you will reliably know your HIV status.

I encourage you to stop torturing yourself by searching the web. I can tell you for sure that in surfing the web you will find (mis)information to stoke every one of your worst fears.

We've given you the real deal here. You were not at risk. Get on with your life.

If you have any troubling symptoms that's something to discuss with your doctor.

This is NOT an HIV situation. Period.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline dahighest

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Re: Pre Cum on condom
« Reply #7 on: April 23, 2007, 09:20:05 pm »
Thanks guys for your words of encouragement.

I just startred my counseling and my counselor thinks that my intense fear of HIV stems from a spiritual battle I am fighting with myself as a result of the clash between my religion and my sexuality.  She says that, obviously any gay man who felt like God despised him bc of his sexuality, would fear punishment by GOD with HIV.

But Andy, I see that you say a 13 week test is conclusive.  But, since you guys feel that I had no SIGNIFICANT risk, is it okay for me to relax with my 6 week negative result, or should I wait for another one at 13 weeks?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Pre Cum on condom
« Reply #8 on: April 23, 2007, 09:22:53 pm »
Reread Andy's reply to you. The very last sentence. I don't believe anyone can make it plainer than that.

Offline ScienceGuy25

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Re: Pre Cum on condom
« Reply #9 on: April 23, 2007, 11:58:14 pm »
But Andy, I see that you say a 13 week test is conclusive.  But, since you guys feel that I had no SIGNIFICANT risk, is it okay for me to relax with my 6 week negative result, or should I wait for another one at 13 weeks?

I and everyone else here would say you had NO risk (not "no significant risk"). No risk for HIV, better chance of winning the lottery, whether you bought a ticket or not.  And your 6 week negative result, merely reinforces that everyone here has already given you correct information.

Do the math with this fact in mind, almost all people who seroconvert do so in less than 4 weeks. 

 You had no risk for HIV infection X you had a negative 6 week result= you are conclusively negative.

Remember what Ann said about using condoms, stay safe and enjoy sex.

Cheers


Offline dahighest

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Re: Pre Cum on condom
« Reply #10 on: June 08, 2007, 08:00:42 pm »
Recently, I engaged in sexual activity with a guy.  While we were together, the guy gave me a blowjob and was sucking quite fiercely.  Also, afterwards, we began to engage in frottage.  Basically, all that happened was that he was thrusting against my anus.  There was NO penetration, but he DID try to enter me about three times.  I repeatedly refused to have sex because I dont want to worry about HIV.  I am a bit of a hypochondriac.  My question is, should I be worried about this event.  I am figuring that HIV transmission MIGHT occur if some of his pre-cum got inside of my anus when he was trying to slide his penis in. I have had anal sex before so I KNOW the difference between penetration and frottage. Should I be worried about this event enough to the point that I need to be tested? I dont think it was all that risky, but I thought I'd ask the experts.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Pre Cum on condom
« Reply #11 on: June 08, 2007, 08:01:56 pm »
Please keep all your questions and concerns in your orginal post.

Offline Ann

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Re: Pre Cum on condom
« Reply #12 on: June 09, 2007, 04:40:53 am »
da,

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.

Frottage is NOT a risk for hiv infection and no penetration = no risk.

You might like to think about making sure you have a condom handy for occasions like this. You don't need to fear hiv when condoms are used and used correctly. Check out the three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Use condoms and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline dahighest

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Re: Pre Cum on condom
« Reply #13 on: September 02, 2010, 11:03:16 pm »
Almost two weeks ago I participated in anal sex as the bottom. It was protected, but prior to sex my partner had the condom on inside-out. I suggested getting another, but he stressed there was nothing to worry about and correctly placed the condom. My fears are that there may have been pre cum on the outside of the condom after it was reversed.

Now, a week and 3 days since the sex, I feel a tingling sensation in my lymph nodes on the left side of my neck. I also feel a dull pain in my right leg. No other symptoms thus far.

Help, I'm going crazy thinking I may be infected from this incident. My partner says he's negative and we've always used condoms, but you never truly know what someone else is doing 24-7.

Please advise me on if it's okay for me to relax after this sexual encounter.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Pre Cum on condom
« Reply #14 on: September 02, 2010, 11:28:01 pm »
You must keep all your thoughts questions and comments in your original thread. This helps us follow your story and allows us to give you the most accurate advice.

If you cannot find your original thread, please click the red link I have posted above. Alternatively you can use the "Show own posts" link which appears in the uppermost left hand column on any forum page.

Your questions will not be answered unless you return to your original thread

Please take the time to read our Welcome Thread and familiarise yourself with the posting guidelines.

MtD

Offline Ann

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Re: Pre Cum on condom
« Reply #15 on: September 03, 2010, 07:11:36 am »
da,

How many times do you need to be told to keep all your additional thoughts or questions in your original thread? Get with the flaming program already.

You're not going to become infected through a little bit of precum on a condom. It just doesn't happen that way.

Keep using those condoms and you will remain hiv negative. It really is that simple.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline dahighest

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Re: Pre Cum on condom
« Reply #16 on: April 20, 2014, 02:09:01 pm »
A week ago, I hooked up with a guy off a dating app for sex. Upon arriving at his place, I asked him if he was clean and he said yes. He also had the lube and condoms on his bed, so I took it he made preparations to ensure we were safe. I'm also very adamant about safe sex, 100% of the time.

We proceeded to have sex with a condom and took a small break. I was the receptive partner (bottom). He went to the bathroom to clean off the condom and we started again when he came back. After a few minutes, he came and then started to withdraw. After he pulled out, I glanced at the condom and noticed it was still covering his penis head with fecal matter. However, I didn't see his semen held in place at the tip as I have in the past. Usually, you will see it handing from the condom once done. After we cleaned, I asked was the condom OK and he responded "yes" and that there was fecal matter on it. I'm a bit of a worrier, but now I'm starting to wonder if semen leaked from the condom inside my anus. I would think if the condom broke, we would have both noticed it right? Could he have poked a pinhole or something in it when he went to the bathroom? Maybe my imagination is running here. I hear that condom ruptures are very obvious and that it not a small pinhole or something. What is my HIV risk here? I thought I took all necessary precautions to be safe.

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Pre Cum on condom
« Reply #17 on: April 20, 2014, 02:40:18 pm »
You been repeatedly warned not to post outside of this thread no matter how long its been since you posted or subject matter . If you do it again you will be given a 28 time out or banned . There has been some changes since you were here last so read the posting guide at the top of this page .
 
I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.

If the condom broke you would have known it . We were not there to know what happened so only you can know if you had an exposure or not . Judging from your post I don't think you did and are just being paranoid . If you are uneasy then go test at 6 weeks past any possible exposure and again at 3 months to confirm the result . 
HIV 101 - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
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HIV prevention
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PEP and PrEP

Offline dahighest

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Re: Pre Cum on condom
« Reply #18 on: April 20, 2014, 03:17:02 pm »
Sorry Jeff that I did not continue in my original thread. A general question though: Shouldn't the semen hang at the tip of the condom once he pulls out? I'm pretty sure the condom stayed intact but my concern is where did the semen go.

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Pre Cum on condom
« Reply #19 on: April 20, 2014, 03:40:32 pm »
Sorry Jeff that I did not continue in my original thread. A general question though: Shouldn't the semen hang at the tip of the condom once he pulls out? I'm pretty sure the condom stayed intact but my concern is where did the semen go.

Condoms are designed in such a way as the leave no doubt when they fail so I doubt that is what happened . Like I said before ... the most we can do is give you the facts and we have done that so if you are uneasy then go test just for peace of mind sake only.
HIV 101 - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read more about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline dahighest

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Re: Pre Cum on condom
« Reply #20 on: April 20, 2014, 07:13:19 pm »
Okay, I searched the threads for similar posts and I'm seeing that it's VERY obvious when a condom break occurs. However, I saw one post where Ann mentioned that she experienced one where the tip of the condom was ragged afterwards. Any clarity on what this means? I'm concerned that this was the case in my situation. Like I said, the condom was still covering his penis in entirety but I didn't see the semen deposit. I'm thinking either my top didn't ejaculate much or the condom broke.

Offline Joe K

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Re: Pre Cum on condom
« Reply #21 on: April 20, 2014, 07:34:58 pm »
Condoms are designed in such a way as the leave no doubt when they fail so I doubt that is what happened . Like I said before ... the most we can do is give you the facts and we have done that so if you are uneasy then go test just for peace of mind sake only.

Okay, I searched the threads for similar posts and I'm seeing that it's VERY obvious when a condom break occurs. However, I saw one post where Ann mentioned that she experienced one where the tip of the condom was ragged afterwards. Any clarity on what this means? I'm concerned that this was the case in my situation. Like I said, the condom was still covering his penis in entirety but I didn't see the semen deposit. I'm thinking either my top didn't ejaculate much or the condom broke.

We have no idea what happened and as Jeff already told you, you can test if you are unable to accept that you had no risk.  Rephrasing and guessing what happened will do nothing for you.  Since you are so concerned about this incident, get a test and collect your negative result.

Joe

Offline dahighest

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Re: Pre Cum on condom
« Reply #22 on: April 21, 2014, 08:54:42 am »
Thanks guys for the reassuring comments. I'm still having major anxiety and my sex partner won't respond to my efforts to contact him. He has even blocked my phone number. Since I noticed the condom was still covering his penis after his withdrawl, can I assume that the sex was safe until I get beyond the window period? I just can't get beyond the idea of there being some teeny weenie hole in the condom tip that I failed to notice. I don't know if I can make it another 5 weeks with this anxiety.

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Pre Cum on condom
« Reply #23 on: April 21, 2014, 09:00:29 am »
I do not not blame him from blocking you, what you are doing is harassment over illogical unfounded fears and he probably thinks you are nuts and is scared of you at this point . You have no right to ask another person to test for HIV . I'm sorry that you are having problems but we cant do a thing to ease your anxiety except for giving you the facts . You didn't see a condom with a hole it and he didn't either so cut the drama and get on with your life . 
HIV 101 - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read more about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline dahighest

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Re: Pre Cum on condom
« Reply #24 on: May 18, 2014, 07:13:28 pm »
Hello moderators! I'd like a risk assessment on an encounter I had a few nights ago. Basically, I was looking for some sexual gratification as I hadn't had any since a few weeks ago. However, I know I am a bit of a hypochondriac so I knew I didn't want to engage in full-on anal sex to prevent worrying afterwards. Anyhow, I meet a local guy online and he comes over to my place. After talking for 30 minutes or so, we start making out. In a nutshell, I gave him unprotected oral sex (with no ejaculation) and he rimmed me.

My concern is that after he rimmed me, he attempted to enter me bareback as I lay stomach flat on the floor. I felt his penis head pushing against my anus, which felt good. However, as he continued to push I started to feel that uncomfortable pressure like he was about to get inside me. I felt no pain, and sat up to stop things from going further. What also scares me is that he wanted to go bareback and when I asked why considering he barely knows me, he concluded that he trusted me. I told him that I didn't want to have sex. We continued with frottage and his penis ended up pushing against my anus about 2 more times from which I then said let's change positions. He then sat in a chair and I sat down from over him so my anus could touch the tip of his penis head. I did this maybe 3-4 times to somewhat simulate actual sex and prevent actual penetration from occurring. We then simply masturbated because he felt I was teasing him, which I honestly wasn't trying to do.

Based on posts I've read, I'm not too concerned about the oral sex I gave. But I am concerned about the frottage. He had quite a thick penis, so I'm sure I would've felt pain had his penis head penetrated me, but I'm worried some pre cum may have entered me in his attempts to have bareback sex with me. I've read posts about "dipping", which I've never heard of before and now I'm fearing a small portion of the tip of his penis head could've gotten in. Again, I felt no pain at all but my anus was wet from his spit during the early rimming.

Can you assess my risk here? I know I have some bad anxiety and worry a lot, and I think I'm going to seek some professional help. But, should I be fearing hiv infection from this encounter? I did ask the guy about his status, and he claims he is negative. However, I don't trust his word much considering he was OK with having bareback sex with me. I'm just worried if he could've slightly "dipped" me up to the point I felt the pressure. Once again, I'm in a position again where this incident is all I think of throughout the day. Thanks again for all you do! Your knowledge in this area is commendable.

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Pre Cum on condom
« Reply #25 on: May 18, 2014, 07:23:01 pm »
We have answered this question before for you but I will address it again . If you were not penetrated it was not a risk and if you were it is a risk . We were not there so only you can know the truth . If you were penetrated without a condom go get tested at 6 weeks past any possible exposure and again at 3 months to confirm the results .
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Offline dahighest

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Re: Pre Cum on condom
« Reply #26 on: May 18, 2014, 07:46:03 pm »
Jeff G,

You are certainly correct. I did ask this same question before previously. Due to his penis girth and me not feeling pain, I will assume he did not penetrate. I've read similar posts and the responses seem to hint that, even with slight penetration, the risk is not HIGH.

I'm so tired of stressing myself out over these encounters. I'm just gonna avoid sexual relations from here on out. I can barely eat or sleep and frankly I'm tired of this worrying.

Offline Ann

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Re: Pre Cum on condom
« Reply #27 on: May 19, 2014, 02:42:34 am »


I'm so tired of stressing myself out over these encounters. I'm just gonna avoid sexual relations from here on out. I can barely eat or sleep and frankly I'm tired of this worrying.

da,

Here's another solution for you - BUY SOME CONDOMS. Next time you have an encounter, have two or three with you and tell your trick that either he uses them for any anal activity, or nothing is going to happen between you.

Make sure you also have plenty of water based lube on hand (and on condom-covered cock and you can also put some on your anus), and make sure there is no trapped air in the tip when he puts it on. These two things will prevent breakage.

Condoms have been PROVEN to prevent hiv infection when used correctly (plenty of lube and no trapped air) and consistently. So wise up and just start having them and lube handy during your encounters instead of running to us every time a trick gets his dick near your hole. OK?

Ann
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Offline dahighest

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Re: Pre Cum on condom
« Reply #28 on: May 19, 2014, 06:03:58 am »
Thanks Ann. I will definitely keep your suggestions in mind for future reference. I really think a lot of this has to do with my anxiety and hypochondria as well. My nerves are shot right now.

Based on the summary of my last encounter, how would you rank my risk level? I understand that you weren't there, but others posters in similar situations were told they had little to no risk. Again, I know for certain his whole penis head didn't get in, as his penis (including the head) was very thick and I didn't feel the initial fullness & pain I always feel upon initial insertion. But, I know for sure he was pressing against my anus with the intention of condom-less sex. I also don't know if there was any pre-cum. As I obsess about this now, its difficult to tell whether or not he actually penetrated me.

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Pre Cum on condom
« Reply #29 on: May 19, 2014, 08:41:32 am »
It does not sound like you were penetrated or you would have known it . We cant offer anymore than to say if you are not certain then go test . You already know what we are going to tell you about this as you have been through this before so if you will be honest with yourself you will see that this is your HIV phobia that's compelling you to come here and post again to hear the same things you have been told before .We encourage you to talk to your therapist and doctor about this because they can offer you the help that we cant address .
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Re: Pre Cum on condom
« Reply #30 on: July 06, 2015, 06:10:37 am »
Hello all -

Just would like some guidance regarding an encounter I had a little over 24 hours ago. Essentially, I met a guy online and we agreed to hooking up with one another. Prior to any sex, I asked him if he had a condom/lube and he did. I also asked him if he was HIV-negative; he insisted he was, and asked me about my status in return. He applied the condom/lube, and we proceeded to have anal sex, with me as the receptive partner.

We had to re-adjust a few times due to the angle of his penis, and if he ever came out of me completely, I guided him back in; I also did this to make sure the condom was still in place. The total time of the sex was relatively quick, not lasting more than about 5 minutes. After he ejaculated and pulled out, I turned around and noticed his penis was not in the condom. So, it seems that he slid out the condom while withdrawing. I was able to easily pull the condom out, and upon inspection I could see the semen deposit and no visible tears. I asked him what happened and he said that he slid out of the condom. Since this is the first time this has happened to me, I told him I was naturally concerned. He reassured me that he is cautious and only has safe sex as well.

I've been re-thinking all of this, and I'm uncertain as to how risky this whole situation was for me. I wonder if some of his semen could've spilled inside me. I don't mind getting tested, but I wonder if this is a situation that warrants PEP. I don't want to contact him and question this encounter again, because I know how my anxiety can get the worse of me sometimes, and that is my issue (not his). Any suggestions on what I can do to remain HIV-negative from this encounter?

Thanks a ton!

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Pre Cum on condom
« Reply #31 on: July 06, 2015, 08:45:41 am »
You did not have a risk. He slid out on withdrawal ... if you didn't have to go fishing for it inside of yourself it wasn't a risk and you do not need PEP. 
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Offline dahighest

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Re: Pre Cum on condom
« Reply #32 on: February 20, 2016, 06:33:21 pm »
Hello all!

Could use your advice this evening. On January 25, I hooked up with a guy I met online. When he arrived, we talked for a few minutes where I asked him of his status. He said he was negative and asked for mine. I told him the same. We proceed to have sex after he puts on a condom and we apply lube to it. Five minutes in, he stops because he has to use the bathroom. As he withdraws, I can smell that we had a bit of an accident. I know, very embarrassing for me as I thought I adequately prepared earlier. Anyhow, he uses the bathroom and decides he didn't want to resume having sex. I asked him where the condom was and he said he flushed it down the toilet because it was a "bit dirty". He then got dressed and left.

Fast forward three weeks (24 days later to be precise), and I'm experiencing just about every symptom I've read about regarding HIV seroconversion except for the rash. Obviously, my mind starts wondering whether the condom broke before he withdrew from me. I figure if it did break he would've mentioned something. Anyways, I know that symptoms aren't reliable, but what scares me lately is the timing that they came on.

I'm just curious to know if you all have come across anyone that had seroconversion symptoms within the expected timeframe after a sexual encounter that ended up ultimately testing negative. I respect you guys and think you all are indeed the most credible experts when it comes to matters concerning HIV.

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Pre Cum on condom
« Reply #33 on: February 20, 2016, 06:47:02 pm »
Hi

Ill be honest, if i understand correctly this to me this sounds like protected sex and he simply flushed the condom as it had gotten dirty when he was cleaning up. So I rate this as you had no risk.

As you had no risk If you are feeling unwell please speak to your doctor about what is making you sick. It's not HIV related.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:
You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for all (STI's) sexually transmitted infections together.

If you are sexually active, it is highly recommended that you get a full sexual health check-up / screening at least annually including but not limited to hiv testing.

Remember that some sexual practices which may be described as ‘safe’ in terms of HIV transmission might still pose a risk for transmission of other STI's. So please do get fully tested regularly for all STI's including HIV and more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs. Also note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and the only way of knowing is by testing.

Finally use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, to avoid sexually transmitted hiv infection.

Kind regards

Jim

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Offline Jeff G

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Re: Pre Cum on condom
« Reply #34 on: February 20, 2016, 08:54:07 pm »
From 2014 . We cant help you … talk to a therapist .



It does not sound like you were penetrated or you would have known it . We cant offer anymore than to say if you are not certain then go test . You already know what we are going to tell you about this as you have been through this before so if you will be honest with yourself you will see that this is your HIV phobia that's compelling you to come here and post again to hear the same things you have been told before .We encourage you to talk to your therapist and doctor about this because they can offer you the help that we cant address .
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Offline Jeff G

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Re: Pre Cum on condom
« Reply #35 on: February 20, 2016, 08:57:14 pm »
What you need is beyond what we can provide .

Thanks guys for your words of encouragement.

I just startred my counseling and my counselor thinks that my intense fear of HIV stems from a spiritual battle I am fighting with myself as a result of the clash between my religion and my sexuality.  She says that, obviously any gay man who felt like God despised him bc of his sexuality, would fear punishment by GOD with HIV.

But Andy, I see that you say a 13 week test is conclusive.  But, since you guys feel that I had no SIGNIFICANT risk, is it okay for me to relax with my 6 week negative result, or should I wait for another one at 13 weeks?
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Offline dahighest

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PrEP Question after High Risk Exposure 🙋🏽
« Reply #36 on: October 13, 2021, 08:56:31 am »
Hello all!

Quick question regarding PrEP. I’ve been on Descovy since July of this year and have been heavily compliant. However, over this weekend I missed a dose. This Monday night, about 36 hours ago now I had unprotected receptive intercourse with a guy I met off a hookup app. He ended up ejaculating inside me as well. It wasn’t the best judgement in hindsight, but what’s done is done. I always generally used condoms, so I feel awful for this lapse in judgment.

Anyways, my concern is the missed dose. It was on Saturday. I just picked back up on Sunday, and took another dose Monday right before my partner arrived at my house. I asked if he was negative/STI free which he stated he was, but I know that people aren’t always truthful or fully aware of their sexual health.

Anyhow, my question is does the missed dose warrant me asking for PEP now? From what I read online, I think I’m still protected, but my anxiety is getting the best of me as I get closer to 72 hours post-sex. Also, I’m concerned because I feel like I only had one dose (Sunday) since the missed Saturday dose that was at least 24 hours prior to the intercourse. I don’t think I’d be as worried if the missed dose was earlier last week (if that makes sense). Can you weigh in? Thanks!

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Pre Cum on condom
« Reply #37 on: October 13, 2021, 09:58:00 am »
Hiya,

Read your post, understand it's daily PrEP dosing and, that you have indeed been taking it daily consistently.

Look, if you had been talking the PrEP every day, then after 21 days or so the levels in your tissue etc., are at their max, offering the best reduction in risk it can. Missing a dose is not great, but I don't see any added risk from just missing a single dose in this situation.

So that leaves you with just the general info & options. As you probably know, PrEP is highly effective against HIV, but not a guarantee, so do test more routinely, i.e. every three months for HIV and easier to acquire STI's.

As for taking PEP over this incident, this is totally up to you. Please note if you are considering PEP, you should start taking this as soon as possible after exposure starting no later than 72 hours post-exposure (Note some clinics will stop prescribing once 48 hours has passed)

If you switch to PEP, I recommend testing at six weeks after finishing the PEP course with a blood-drawn (lab) antibodies test. A none-reactive result at this time will rarely ever change and testing past this is generally not needed, but you can retest at three months post PEP for peace of mind if you need it.

If you choose to instead continue with PrEP program, which by design gives a layer of protection against HIV, then test as you routinely should, i.e. every three months and talk to your healthcare provider during the next screening.

Here's what you need to know to avoid HIV infection:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, every time, no exceptions. Continue taking PrEP as an additional layer of HIV protection.

Keep in mind that some sexual practices described as ‘safe’ in terms of HIV transmission might pose a risk for transmission of other STI's, so please do get tested regularly for STI's including but not limited to HIV.

Also, note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and, the only way of knowing is by testing.

Kind regards

Jim

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« Last Edit: October 13, 2021, 10:12:09 am by Jim Allen »
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Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Pre Cum on condom
« Reply #38 on: October 13, 2021, 10:02:39 am »
Quote
I asked if he was negative/STI free which he stated he was, but I know that people aren’t always truthful or fully aware of their sexual health.

Not only that but even if they tested today it means nothing due to the window period. So truthful but mistaken, also had people think they had STI & HIV tests when it was just general blood tests like WBC being run ....

Anyhow, asking people is a conversation but ultimately nothing said means anything, hence I don't ask and just presume my date has everything and I reduce my risks. 
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Offline dahighest

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Re: Pre Cum on condom
« Reply #39 on: October 13, 2021, 05:00:34 pm »
Thanks for the helpful response Jim.

I ended up expressing my concern to my sexual partner earlier & he assured me that I can relax. I forgot to mention in my initial post that he informed me he was on PrEP as well prior to our sex (his Grindr profile also stated the same). He reiterated that on our call and said he has been on Truvada for 6 years.

I also spoke with the PrEP specialist in the office I get my Descovy from. His remarks were similar to yours. He doesn’t think the 1 missed dose is of much concern, considering I’ve had daily adherence otherwise. Although the missed dose was two days before the sex, he feels that I would still have a significant amount within my rectal tissues to thwart off any potential HIV. 

With these factors in play, I’ve made the decision to forego PEP. I don’t think it’s worth the additional stress it could put on my body. I think I’m just in my own head over this whole ordeal and a bit overly paranoid.  I will just continue on PrEP as usual and get a test in about 5-6 weeks with the expectation of a negative result.

Thanks again for your input. I really appreciate your expertise/input.

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Re: Pre Cum on condom
« Reply #40 on: October 13, 2021, 05:06:26 pm »
You're welcome

Quote
His remarks were similar to yours. He doesn’t think the 1 missed dose is of much concern, considering I’ve had daily adherence otherwise. Although the missed dose was two days before the sex, he feels that I would still have a significant amount within my rectal tissues to thwart off any potential HIV.

100%

Quote
I forgot to mention in my initial post that he informed me he was on PrEP as well prior to our sex (his Grindr profile also stated the same). He reiterated that on our call and said he has been on Truvada for 6 years.

Yeah, him claiming or even being on PrEP really does not mean anything. But if it gives you additional (false) security then I'm happy for you.

Quote
I’ve made the decision to forego PEP.

 :)


 
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