Author Topic: POZ Personals (Read 11490 times)

otherplaces · « **on:** February 07, 2007, 03:17:31 pm »

I was curious. How many of you use POZ personals? If you do use POZ personals, how many of you get nothing but blatantly fraud emails from everyone you try and contact?

Example: "i am so sorry for replying to your message lately, I am <<ommited>> i was born in south london and i live my whole life in north carolina united state.i am 28 years of age, and i am into buying and sellimg of valuable artworks and jewelleries. and i do travel aLot to get this in places like england, africa and some times south america. I am SINGLE, i just got out from an unfavourale relationship six month ago. i am looking forward to meet a man that is cool, caring, hard working and truthfull man that i can live the rest of my life with. i have been hurt before and i will not like to be hurt again. you can send me a mail on..."

This is so obviously English as a second language. I would have no problem becoming friends with and possibly dating women from non-English speaking countries, but such deception troubles me. Are they totally fake, or HIV+ and trying to get out of their country?

I also see nowhere to report such fraudulant profiles to poz.com. I shrugged off the first 10 or so, but at this point poz personals is just becoming absolutely useless.

And if you can allow me a big **SIGH**...WHEN am I ever going to date again???

brian

DanielMark · « **Reply #1 on:** February 07, 2007, 03:25:17 pm »

I haven't used that site or others like it in years, but when I did you would be amazed at how much mail I got from young single Gay men living in Russia or Asia. Most of the time still living at home with their parents. Most of them madly in love with me, even after I made it clear I wasn’t interested in rescuing them and had no wealth at all.

Heartbreaking, really.

Daniel

skeebo1969 · « **Reply #2 on:** February 07, 2007, 04:12:28 pm »

When it comes to poz personals I will say this keep trying!

Besides the replies from Russia, below is a run down of my experience with Poz Personals :

1. 31 yr old white female from the Orlando area: Phone conversation only. According to her she was the least likely of all people to ever have been infected. Why? According to her she was a very clean person and only dealt with clean people! After getting over that asshole remark within 5 minutes she was asking me what my favorite positition was and told me she swallowed...lol. My phone suddenly conviently disconnected.

2. 55 yr old white female from Miami area who only wanted a friend with no strings attatched: Phone conversation only. This conversation lasted all of 15 minutes... That's how long it took for me to get the impression she hated men... and I definitely felt I was hated.

3. 28 yr old black female from the Orlando area: Phone conversation only. After a few conversations over a period of days I finally got her to admit she was married.

4. 26 yr old Jamaican female from Miami area: ok conversation... Nurse that was extremely attractive! Got together on a few occassions. I just felt our personalities did not match.

5. 27 yr old black female from the Winterhaven area...Chemical engineer who is very attractive... first meeting I knew! She knew! We laugh.. we play... She met me when I was sick! Two weeks after meeting her without having sex yet she cleaned me up after an episode..cried with worry... She has never left my side! Anyone who will keep me from laying in my own puke and clean it up also is a winner in my book!

So yep I met my mate on POZ Personals.... keep trying.. the worst thing that can happen is you meet someone who only gets with clean people, but swallows!

Strayboy74 · « **Reply #3 on:** February 07, 2007, 05:47:01 pm »

I met several people from poz.com. Many of whom I still am in contact.

Keep on looking!

-joseph

poet · « **Reply #4 on:** February 07, 2007, 06:36:53 pm »

Peter, Ann, Andy, I did not suggest this thread to Brian.

I began the year, as Valentine's Day approached, wondering if there couldn't be a forum over on that side so that discussions such as Brian's could happen, especially since I have no idea how many of the people on that side of things wander over here. (I have used, if that's the word, poz.com personals for years but only discovered the forums this October, as my personal example.) I have volunteered to help with this, so please understand that I am not hoping to completely overwhelm our overworked moderators. I would like to see the profiles which have sat there untouched for 2 years to be offed. (I had this problem on my bodywork/massage site as well as the clear duplications often caused by guys forgetting how to access their profiles.) I think that many profilers might want some feedback about his or her profile: it might look and sound great to them, but how might it sound or look to outsiders? And your specific problem, that there is no place/person to communicate with on the poz.com page is largely my point. If we were to have some volunteers who could split up the messages coming in, we could make the personals, an invaluable service to all of us since disclosure is moot, as great as they could be.

And if we think about how we have come to know each other through these forums, wouldn't it be nice to 'find' someone, perhaps not through a profile which a search never seems to pull up, but by the voice, the words, of a person? Best, Win

AustinWesley · « **Reply #5 on:** February 07, 2007, 08:12:33 pm »

Brian, quit making fun of my letter. Gee.

I haven't gotten one like that on the poz personal site. To date I still feel it's the best site I've run across for HIV+ dating, but maybe others have some better sites?

lydgate · « **Reply #6 on:** February 07, 2007, 11:24:16 pm »

My two cents (or four contacts through Poz Personals):

1. VERY hot guy passing through. Two nights of sex. He lives far away, sigh.

2. In-state guy passing through. Turned out to be a weirdo. (See the thread "I'm a date rapist" from last June http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=2230.0).

3. A real "connection" with this guy -- smart, funny, all the right things. But the actual date when we met was a fizzle.

4. One entirely forgettable two-drinks-and-mechanical-sex encounter while I was in Chicago.

Haven't used it much recently, but that's only because I live in semi-rural Iowa -- the pool of poz guys ain't that big.

I've never had those letters from Russian women and Nigerian men from Poz Personals, though I have from a couple of other sites.

Jay

Longislander · « **Reply #7 on:** February 08, 2007, 09:18:18 pm »

I've met two nice guys through pozmatch.com. And you don't have to pay for membership ( no initiating e-mails tho), and you can post more than one pic, and also private pics that require a password.

cjc · « **Reply #8 on:** February 08, 2007, 11:09:20 pm »

I use it now. but haven't had much luck with it. I had 1 guy drive to NC from California and he was so weird that he was sent on his wayAnd I've gotten several messages where English is obviously the second language. Oh , well, I'll keep trying. Maybe I'll get lucky one day. As far as the site itself,I think it's pretty good. Cristy

otherplaces · « **Reply #9 on:** February 08, 2007, 11:19:43 pm »

I'm glad it's worked out for some people, especially skeebo.

Win, I think you're right. They could use some expansion over there in the poz personals.

I guess I'll keep plugging away, because really what choice do I have?

brian

Miss Philicia · « **Reply #10 on:** February 08, 2007, 11:39:37 pm »

too many weirdos to wade though... to find one legit person

sorry... not worth the trouble as far as I'm concerned. I'm simply not that desperate for a boyfriend, fuckbuddy or someone to do decoupage with

Johnny Guaylupo · « **Reply #11 on:** February 09, 2007, 12:18:07 am »

Honestly,

The poz personals doesn't work for me, it's to difficult and I never met anyone!

poodlelover · « **Reply #12 on:** February 09, 2007, 02:29:09 am »

I met alot of great people on hivdate.com haven't been on there in years but keep in touch with a select few. Also on positiveliving.com and livingpositive.com . Not sure if Im supposed to be plugging these sites here but im sure someone will tell me if im not.

wishihadacat · « **Reply #13 on:** February 09, 2007, 10:03:43 am »

Although we have never met face to face and she lives several hundred miles from NYC, I did make one real friend on Poz personals, and meeting her made whatever time I have spent there well worth the effort. Yes, there are scammers there, as there are on every dating/personals site, but that is the nature of the beast. You just have to use a little common sense and ask the right questions. Hang in there...

purpledragonfly · « **Reply #14 on:** February 09, 2007, 10:12:14 am »

Maybe for the men poz. personnels have been good. For me i have had a very bad time with it. First I meet someone on there and decided to meet with him and go out for dinner, well he had other ideas, to make it short he raped me. i am still trying to get over that. I decided to try again with the site and ment 3 men on there that ended up to be a scam ring from africa, i had to get my local police and the FBI involved and hopefully things are done and i will have no more problems with them.
I am glad Tom found someone on there and hope no one has to go thru what i have gone thru. I tried to report all of this to poz. personnels but could not find anywhere on the site to do that. I hope that they start screening people better so noone has to go thru what i did. I will never use it again.

Wendy

marco23 · « **Reply #15 on:** February 09, 2007, 11:06:41 am »

If you stop trying, how are you going to find out if anything happens? Keep trying...eventually you'll hit the jackpot!

mjmel · « **Reply #16 on:** February 09, 2007, 11:30:56 am »

Sad and pathetic, isn't it? You'd think there'd be one little spot where it would be all nice and safe considering all the other baggage we have to drag around with our HIV+ status.

purpledragonfly: Oh Ouch! What a mess to have to go through just for a bit of company & companionship.

poet · « **Reply #17 on:** February 09, 2007, 08:07:11 pm »

Wendy, I am so sorry that you have had such bad experiences, whether it was from poz.com personals or anywhere else. If you get a chance, pass your request for someone to contact along to any moderator you find online? I know that they have a huge job trying to keep track of all of the threads. I would hope, too, that if we had a forum as well as a contact source over there, someone like Wendy could talk about/through contacts, hopefully asking there, as she would here, 'well, I got this message from a guy and I was wondering how you folks would proceed....' I have suspected for some time that a support system is needed. Best, Win

ndrew · « **Reply #18 on:** February 10, 2007, 12:32:46 am »

Hi Brian buddy,

Gosh, its good to know about this stuff, however troubling. Sorry Wendy for what happened.

As if dating isn't self induced torture enough!

Luv and thoughts,
Drew

thunter34 · « **Reply #19 on:** February 10, 2007, 12:39:52 am »

Just discovered this past evening that a certain boy that I have always turned into a complete puddle of goo for is now among the poz ranks. He sent me some mail through the personals on POZ. I am simultaneously giddy as the proverbial school girl, yet saddened on the inside by this revelation. The selfish side of me is simply bubbling at the notion of a date (and then some) with this guy. The unselfish side would have wished it away entirely if it could have somehow kept him clear of all this.

poet · « **Reply #20 on:** February 10, 2007, 05:35:32 am »

Tim, as you know, though, it's one thing to meet someone for 'personals' reasons through the personals and something again to meet someone for the sort of things we offer here (wait, should I be saying this to you?

) in support and such, so you have a sort of mixed opportunity depending upon where he is in dealing with his diagnosis, how he looks or would look at you. Or at least I need someone to be at the point of being hiv positive as an aspect of a larger picture. Win

red_Dragon888 · « **Reply #21 on:** February 10, 2007, 04:19:57 pm »

Like every place else, fakes are everywhere. You know the "buyer beware" saying. Well apply it to pesonals. I met some good people there but I never experience a fake, but that does not mean they don't exist. Just be careful.

Miss Philicia · « **Reply #22 on:** February 11, 2007, 02:17:40 pm »

Quote from: thunter34 on February 10, 2007, 12:39:52 am

Just discovered this past evening that a certain boy that I have always turned into a complete puddle of goo for is now among the poz ranks. He sent me some mail through the personals on POZ. I am simultaneously giddy as the proverbial school girl, yet saddened on the inside by this revelation. The selfish side of me is simply bubbling at the notion of a date (and then some) with this guy. The unselfish side would have wished it away entirely if it could have somehow kept him clear of all this.

Oh please... you're not fooling anyone with your attempts at sounding reasonable.

poet · « **Reply #23 on:** February 11, 2007, 05:53:02 pm »

HOT Valentine's Day offer.

Now that I have your attention, Studio 360 on NPR mentioned e-cyrano.com through which you can now hire someone to write/tweak your (poz.com or other) profile to attract the right men and women for you. Best, Win

GSOgymrat · « **Reply #24 on:** February 11, 2007, 09:33:22 pm »

In the spirit of Valentine's any stories about love through AIDSmeds.com? Cheap lust maybe?

AlanBama · « **Reply #25 on:** February 11, 2007, 10:28:10 pm »

I love it when I get to be one of the 'exceptions' to the rule!

Met my guy approx. 8 months ago on POZ.com, we are doing fine. Alan actually has a Valentine this year! WOO HOO......

poet · « **Reply #26 on:** February 12, 2007, 07:50:32 am »

Alan, don't leave it there.

Tell Brian and the rest of us what you mean? ALL the details. You 'met' your guy, meaning you 'found' him in the personals, he 'found' you? What did either of you 'see' in each other? What was the 'spark'? How did things progress? Did you go from messages to direct emails or to phone? Did you live near each other? You guys have leaped over the standard hurdles, 1 month and 6 months, so...? And since you guys sort of know me by now, it's not idle gossip that I am after but honest posting to help us negotiate this process. Best to you and yours, Mr. and Mr. Valentine, Win

Even though Tim is lurking in this thread, I will add that my next project is to pull the guys from poz.com Cape and Islands and Boston area personals and push them toward the guys from SIN (strengthinnumbers.org) along with the guys from the support group, some of whom may be the same.

AlanBama · « **Reply #27 on:** February 12, 2007, 12:53:15 pm »

We began communicating on POZ.com personals around May of last year. He kept after me, because I was not all that serious in meeting someone (too many bad experiences I guess). He lives about 2.5 hours south of me. So one weekend last June, he drove up here...and the rest is history. He is a long term survivor of 20+ years, is approx. 2 years younger than me. He was a RN by profession (what is it with me and nurses? they have GREAT hands!) but is disabled now.

He has recently undergone three eye surgeries for removal of melanoma. We both carry quite a lot of baggage with health issues. He had a long-term partner and lived in San Francisco for many years....I had a partner of 14 years in Atlanta.....both our relationships ended, and we found ourselves moving back to the familiar territory of home. We had a wonderful Christmas together, and we spend weekends together whenever we can. I still work about 23 hours a week, so it works out best for him to come to my place.

We are both tall and painfully thin...about 6'2" and he weighs 156, I weigh 159. He has clear blue eyes and black hair; I have muddy brown eyes and no hair, but he doesn't seem to mind.

Thank heaven for "one price" long distance service.

Me, at FIFTY, with a boyfriend.......whoda thunk it?

poet · « **Reply #28 on:** February 12, 2007, 04:14:07 pm »

Alan, thank you so much for making what I would call 'the' Valentine's post for the forums, or at least 'the' post for positive gay men! Best, Win

Razorbill · « **Reply #29 on:** February 12, 2007, 04:15:48 pm »

That's a really sweet story. Happy Valentine's Day to you both.

AlanBama · « **Reply #30 on:** February 12, 2007, 09:48:59 pm »

thanks Win and Ernie!

We are enjoying each other, and celebrating the fact that we have someone special in our lives.

hugs,

Alan

PS - it's quite a challenge to be 'romantic' with someone when you are experiencing painful, debilitating gas and bloat. We have to laugh at it, or we'd go crazy. I'm lucky he puts up with me. You just have to remember that love comes in all shapes and sizes, and love is blind (and obviously deaf).

joemutt · « **Reply #31 on:** February 12, 2007, 11:54:38 pm »

Alan, that's so sweet,it brought tears to my eyes, Have a Happy Valentine!

megasept · « **Reply #32 on:** February 16, 2007, 08:41:30 pm »

Brian: I use Poz Personals. All my fraudulent Email comes directly to my email from Nigerian pen pal scammers unrelated to this Site.

I also belong to Pozmatch, where the people seem a little more motivated. No fraud there yet either. Time will tell. -

-megasept

wishihadacat · « **Reply #33 on:** February 16, 2007, 08:52:19 pm »

I've seen quite a few female scammers on Pozmatch.

Miss Philicia · « **Reply #34 on:** February 16, 2007, 09:53:20 pm »

uh... there are Nigerian email scammers everywhere

wishihadacat · « **Reply #35 on:** February 16, 2007, 10:35:02 pm »

Fer sure, but for awhile pozmatch was ridiculous. My experience was only with the ones posing as hetero women, though, and perhaps it was different for men. Dunno.

bear60 · « **Reply #36 on:** February 16, 2007, 10:37:40 pm »

The scam possibility is so great....... That I would not even respond to an email in Africa.

jkinatl2 · « **Reply #37 on:** February 16, 2007, 10:53:33 pm »

I am always amused when people from other countries write me about my profile. Yeah, like I can bring some Russian dude over to the US. Good luck with that.

wishihadacat · « **Reply #38 on:** February 16, 2007, 11:09:01 pm »

You have to admit that some of them are hilarious!

Miss Philicia · « **Reply #39 on:** February 17, 2007, 03:20:58 am »

There probably would not be so much of this activity if there weren't a pool of pathetic queens actually indulging some of these guys. They're probably wiring via Western Union for someone's mother's operation or some such sob story.

ryeguy · « **Reply #40 on:** February 17, 2007, 05:26:31 am »

As far as dating here in Europe the best site is www.gayromeo.com, One can register into poz groups if one wishes too. This site is not very wide spread in the U.S. but my boyfriend and I met over it. Well good luck, In the more metropolitan areas it is starting to be used more often and almost all gay men living in the U.S from Europe have a profile on this platform..... but gotta warn ya all it can be a bit of a meat market:-))

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Author Topic: POZ Personals (Read 11490 times)