Did I put him at risk?

[marieanne]

First of all thank you for the great services ypu provide, I used to read a lot through the forums some three years back after being assaulted and found this a great and informative site in dealing with the subsequent steps i had to go through after what happened.

I would like to get your opinion on the following:

14.05. me and my casual hookup went testing together with a rapid test, we both tested negative on determine 1/2 ab, we talked about window period and decided we are both out, but due to not being exclusive still continued to use condoms.

31.07. receptive vaginal sex/dipping, he inserted once, i pushed him away and told him i was out of my comfort zone and then we proceeded to use a condom.

then things didnt work out between us, i somewhat couldnt do that whole casual thing over trust issues and not being exclusive.

26.08. i went to get another rapid test done that was 3.5 weeks post-dipping, determine 1/2 ab

got back together with my ex bf, i insisted on condoms knowing about the risk i had engaged and wanted to conclusively test negative before we engage in unprotected activities.

05.10. another rapid test 9.5 weeks post-dipping, determine 1/2 ab.

10.10. condom broke with my now again bf. he noticed about 2min after.

I am really worried, less about my own fate, but feel an immense amount of guilt towards my bf.

Am I still at risk?
Did I put my bf at risk?
Should I talk to him about taking PEP?
Should I take another test today at 10.5 weeks?

[Jim Allen]

Hi

Look I read your post carefully.  PEP is really only if someone has a high risk, the larger risk for HIV transmission BTW is to you as the receptive partner during the intercourse not your BF as the insertive partner. 

End of the day taking PEP is up to you and your Doctor, do note that if you are considering PEP you should start taking this as soon as possible after exposure starting no later than 48-72 hours post exposure. It's up to you at the end of the day to decide to take PEP for this incident.

Regarding your risks and testing. Well to start with I think you are giving yourself a hard time over nothing much by way overthinking this. Your BF agreed to intercourse and with that the risks that also come with sex, so stop feeling guilty.

Now I recommend you should test at 6 weeks for a result, and than again at 13 weeks post the condom failing incident to confirm the earlier 6 weeks results. Same goes for your BF.

To reduce condoms from failing in the future remember that using them right means they should be rolled out over the penis as far as possible, before starting to roll down pinch the air out of the tip and also check the expiration date of the condom, use water-base and condom safe lubricant. Also if you are changing sex acts during the encounter than replace the condom as well. 

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, every time, no exceptions.

Keep in mind that some sexual practices which may be described as ‘safe’ in terms of HIV transmission might still pose a risk for transmission of other STI's, so please do get fully tested regularly and at least yearly for all STI's including but not limited to HIV and test more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs

Also note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and the only way of knowing is by testing.

More information on HIV Basics, PEP, TaSP and Transmission can be found through the links in my signature to our POZ pages, this includes information on HIV Testing

Kind regards

Jim

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[marieanne]

Jim, thanks for the swift reply. Sorry for the follow up question, my anxious brain maybe couldn't structure my question well.

My question was more geared towards me putting my bf at risk, as after my dipping encounter with a casual hook-up I only tested negative 9.5 weeks instead of the conclusive 13 weeks.

So basically I was wondering if i should talk to him about it, as I cannot conclusively state that I am in fact negative and I do not want to put him at risk.

[Jim Allen]

Hi

Yeah, I understood between the lines that your fears are more with the causal hookup and infecting your BF. 

However the broken condom is a transmission risk to you and hence test 6 weeks and 13 weeks after that incident, this will also confirm your negative status from any events before that and give you a conclusive result over all the risks mentioned here.

I think you are making the presumption your BF is HIV negative, we have plenty of people here who learned the hard way that a trusted person does not mean HIV negative no matter what they claim or say. So we always presume the other person is HIV positive and only evaluate if the event could lead to a HIV transmission to you.

Like I said you are giving yourself a hard time over nothing much by way overthinking this. Your BF agreed to intercourse and with that the risks that also come with sex, so stop feeling guilty. If you want to take PEP over this incident it is up to you, same goes for your BF however he had a far lesser risk.

My advice is relax, test at 6 & 13 weeks time post the condom incident and keep using condoms no matter what.

Jim

[marieanne]

Dear Jim,

using my last question wisely, I am in need of additional advise, more than a risk assessment.

(Also on that note, I tested again following the dipping exposure with my casual hook -up at 80 days and feel confident with the negative result not changing from that encounter.)

Regarding the condom break with my BF, I decided to go on PEP. He showed me his last negative results from 30st August, but wasnt too much up for a discussion about potential in between encounters- therefore we took the PEP decision. I was prescribed TFC, 3TC and  EFV.

Apart from physically feeling fine, I am battling with severe side-effects on a mental health level-very vivid dreams, nightmares more or less, mood swings and i am very irritable- i know myself as a calm person but cant recognize myself these days. I have a history of depression and read that Efavirenz can exacerbate all these issues. I talked to my doctor about it and he said that this is the only prescription he can make and that I simply have to deal with it- we live in a developing country where mental health problems are simply disregarded as crazyness.

Are there any ways I can mitigate these side-effects?  I read different opinions about with food/without food but nothing seems to work. Im quite worked up at this point and 10 days (until BFs results come back) sound really long.

Thanks for all your advise, it is highly appreciated.

[Wade]

Hi marieanne,

I personally had problems with the Efavirenz, I found taking my meds at bed time eased the side affects. I hope this helps.

Wishing you the best,

Wade