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Any advice would be greatly appreciated.


Hi, I'm not sure if this is correct place to post this but thought it'd be worth a shot as I'm desperate for some advice regarding a HIV+ family member.

A close family friend, who I regard as an uncle and have known him since I was 3 years old (I'm now almost 24) is struggling greatly. He was diagnosed with HIV in 2009. For the first few years, as he lived with us, was taking his medication regularly. A few years back he stopped taking his medication, which meant he had become resistant to them and was thus put onto a different medication, I think it was called remdesivir? Since his diagnosis he has consistently engaged in unsafe sexual activities. A few weeks ago when he rang my family member at 2am to say he couldn't breathe. We called him an ambulance and he was admitted to the hospital under the pretence that he had a blood clot in his lung. This was eventually changed to a lung infection and he was sent back to my aunts house with anti-biotics.

He can't go back to his own house because, unbeknownst to us, he has been living in absolute squalor. My aunt's girlfriend and I went to his house to start cleaning and found living conditions that were beyond shocking. No clean plates, bowls, knives and forks, glasses or pots and pans. Grease and grime everywhere. Urine stained sheets left in the bathroom. There was also human faeces in his bath and all over the floor. We also found numerous bottles of wine and cans of beer strewn around his flat. At this point we entered his bedroom and found various drug equipment including meth pipes, needles and dany spoons. We we're shocked, but not angry. We did confront him in a passive way, and he continued to lie to us and say they weren't his. He did admit eventually that they were his which was a step in the right direction.

He has now admitted that he's been engaging in unsafe sex with a man that brings him these drugs, and the man often has sex with him once he's passed out. He's also admitted to injecting and smoking meth. To say we are worried is an understatement. As a family we're not sure how to help him. Even now, as he is living with my aunt, he doesn't take his medication consistently and we know that could have awful affects on his health. Hence why I'm here asking for advice as to what we can do? He is becoming increasingly aggressive and unpredictable.

Just reaching out for some help as we really don't know what to do to help or encourage him to get his health in check, it seems that he's given up. He refuses to seek counselling or any form of help. We feel really lost with this situation.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thanks.

Jim Allen:

--- Quote ---A close family friend
--- End quote ---

--- Quote ---as he is living with my aunt,
--- End quote ---

--- Quote ---He is becoming increasingly aggressive and unpredictable.
--- End quote ---

--- Quote ---He refuses to seek counselling or any form of help
--- End quote ---

Sorry to hear how much concern/pain the family friend is causing.

You can't force someone to seek support or to deal with their issues/addiction. Considering the addiction & aggression I would kick him out of my aunt's house asap for her safety and change the locks.


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