My Cat's New Year's Resolutions

[Cherie]

Some of these are freakin hilarious!!!!

>
>My human will never let me eat her pet hamster, and I am at peace with
>that.
>
>I will not puff my entire body to twice its size for no reason after my
>human has finished watching a horror movie.
>
>I will not slurp fish food from the surface of the aquarium.
>
>I must not help myself to Q-tips, and I must certainly not proceed to stuff
>them down the sink's drain.
>
>I will not eat large numbers of assorted bugs, then come home and puke them
>up so the humans can see that I'm getting plenty of roughage.
>
>I will not lean way over to drink out of the tub, fall in, and then pelt
>right for the box of clumping cat litter. (It took FOREVER to get the stuff
>out of my fur.)
>
>I will not stand on the bathroom counter, stare down the hall, and growl at
>NOTHING after my human has finished watching The X-Files.
>
>I will not use the bathtub to store live mice for late-night snacks.
>
>I will not perch on my human's chest in the middle of the night and stare
>into her eyes until she wakes up.
>
>We will not play Herd of Thundering Wildebeests Stampeding Across the
>Plains of the Serengeti over any humans' bed while they're trying to sleep.
>
>Screaming at the can of food will not make it open itself.
>
>I cannot leap through closed windows to catch birds outside. If I forget
>this and bonk my head on the window and fall behind the couch in my
>attempt, I will not get up and do the same thing again.
>
>I will not assume the patio door is open when I race outside to chase
>leaves.
>
>I will not intrude on my human's candle-lit bubble bath and singe my
>bottom.
>
>I will not stick my paw into any container to see if there is something in
>it. If I do, I will not hiss and scratch when my human has to shave me to
>get the rubber cement out of my fur.
>
>If I bite the cactus, it will bite back.
>
>When it rains, it will be raining on all sides of the house. It is not
>necessary to check every door.
>
>Birds do not come from the bird feeder. I will not knock it down and try to
>open it up to get the birds out.
>
>The dog can see me coming when I stalk her. She can see me and will move
>out of the way when I pounce, letting me smash into floors and walls. That
>does not mean I should take it as a personal insult when my humans sit
>there and laugh.
>
>I will not play "dead cat on the stairs" while people are trying to bring
>in groceries or laundry, or else one of these days, it will really come
>true.
>
>When the humans play darts, I will not leap into the air and attempt to
>catch them.
>
>I will not swat my human's head repeatedly when she's on the family room
>floor trying to do sit ups.
>
>When my human is typing at the computer, her forearms are *not* a hammock.
>
>Computer and TV screens do not exist to backlight my lovely tail.
>
>I am a walking static generator. My human doesn't need my help installing a
>new board in her computer.

"Computer and TV screens do not exist to backlight my lovely tail." Yes they do who wrote this lied!!!

[aupointillimite]

Some of these are freakin hilarious!!!!

I must not help myself to Q-tips, and I must certainly not proceed to stuff

I thought it was only my cats.  Thank God someone else understands my pain... of seeing my cats go nuts over Q-tips. 

Used ones.

[AlanBama]

Fang loves Q tips.   She fishes in the garbage can and drags them out, and I find them under the living room furniture.......

[Queen Tokelove]

Lucifer loves Q-tips too and so does his sister Beta which is my best friend's cat. I wonder what's up with that. And the wild stampede, omg, and he's only one cat! I have to put him in the bathroom at night or my house would be destroyed.

[Jean-Yves]

Have you ever given them the hairball medicin in a tube? It looks and smells like earwax.
Jean-Yves

[Nadine]

I too thought it was just my cat who loves Q tips, she throws them up in the air and can play with them for an hour...by then there's nothing left but the stick....

[Boo Radley]

The other day I made the mistake of taking the Q-tips box out of the drawer and left them on the bathroom counter.  Yesterday morning I awoke to Q-tips scattered from my bedroom to the bathroom.  I'm still picking them up.  Many of them have only one Q left.


Boo