POZ Community Forums

Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: numbersguy82 on August 21, 2010, 08:56:08 am

Title: Giving Yourself back "The Simple Things"???
Post by: numbersguy82 on August 21, 2010, 08:56:08 am
I'm just curious, because I am newly diagnosed, if you have adapted your living habits outside the realm of medicines and exercise since being diagnosed. More specifically did you restrict yourself from things before, and now you just enjoy life and say "The Hell with it". I've already noticed in the few short weeks that while my health is important and I have always eaten healthy... that I've allowed myself certain liberties I never would have before. For example before for breakfast I would eat Special K or some other fiber bran cereal with a piece of whole wheat toast. Now I've found myself buying the food of my childhood. Lucky Charms, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and even Frosted Flakes. I literally got giddy this morning when I opened the chocolate Lucky Charms... I mean juvenile I know but I def smiled. I know the extra sugar isn't necessarily good, but I needed to gain some weight as I lost 12lbs during seroconversion.

I'm just curious if anyone else has done the same type of thing. Either found joy in the things you are familar with but before your diagnosis maybe didn't enjoy as often as you should have. I know probably hobbies and travels change quite a bit  after diagnosis too. I almost feel like this diagnosis has encouraged me to stop merely existing and actually LIVE my life. We only get one shot right, and within reason we should enjoy it.
Title: Re: Giving Yourself back "The Simple Things"???
Post by: Nestor on August 21, 2010, 10:56:53 am

When I was first diagnosed, my situation forced me to change my lifestyle quite dramatically.  I was living in Taiwan and upon testing positive was asked to leave the country within a week.  I had only been there for three months and hadn't seen much of it outside Taipei, and I had no idea if I would ever get to go back, so I decided I had to tour the country.  That was also a way to delay deportation--since the deportation order hadn't arrived at my apartment yet when I left Taipei, I hadn't received it and it didn't come into effect until I got back.  So there I was, just diagnosed, and my main activities for a week were sight-seeing, hiking, trying the local specialties of every town I came to, and planning the next day's activity.  I actually almost forgot all about HIV during that week!  In retrospect it amazes me that I was able to do that, but it was a great thing.  It was like Scarlett's "this will drive me crazy if I think about it today, so I'll think about it tomorrow".

When I came back to the U.S., I started to focus on HIV rather intensively, reading a lot and trying to adopt a super-healthy lifestyle: one thing that happened was sort of the opposite of what you describe, at least where food is concerned.  I did become something of a health fanatic, insisted that all grains should be whole grains, all meat from pastured animals on local farms, all fruits and vegetables organic, etc.  But even at the height of this I knew it was temporary, that it would be ridiculous to say that I would never have a croissant or a bowl of pasta again or just go into a Chinatown restaurant without worrying about where the meat came from or what kind of oil they're using--life is too short. 

Recently I've been in a mood very similar to the one you describe--just enjoy life etc.  I would never want to be the kind of person who can't enjoy ice cream without worrying about sugar!  Of course this is in the context of a diet that's reasonably healthy most of the time--I'm not talking about eating nothing but junk food. 

I do think also that on a deeper level, having HIV has resulted in a more "carpe diem" sort of attitude--I have no idea what the future holds so I'll enjoy today sort of thing.  Actually that was always my tendency but having HIV has definitely reinforced it. 

Also, since HIV made cruising for sex far less enjoyable than it used to be (all that disclosure trauma) I think that particular activity diminished in importance and other things took its place, which may have been a good thing. 

I can't help but add that just hearing the name "lucky charms" carried me all the way back to early childhood.  My cereal was Trix, and my cousins who lived downstairs from me ate lucky charms, so it is what I ate when I visited them.  I loved it!  I don't think I've even seen it in thirty years.....

Thanks for sharing--I like your message.
Title: Re: Giving Yourself back "The Simple Things"???
Post by: Jeff G on August 21, 2010, 11:25:44 am
When I tested Poz 26 years ago I asked my doctors about my diet and what impact it might have on my prognoses . They told me to eat whatever I wanted and even joked that my cholesterol and lipids were the least of my worries .

I took them up on the advice and ate and partied like there was not going to be a tomorrow . I still to this day eat like a pig and take multiple medications and large doses of insulin to combat the problems caused by HIV medicins and the metabolic disorders I have developed from living this was .

I'm 48 now and if you saw me walking down the street you may think I look fit for a guy my age but on the inside I'm a fetid sack of worms from living like this for so long . I am working on it though .

Because of the side effects of some HIV meds I would advise you to enjoy all good things in moderation . I wish I knew then what I know now . 
Title: Re: Giving Yourself back "The Simple Things"???
Post by: leatherman on August 21, 2010, 11:46:59 am
"lucky charms"
mmmmm. y'all need to quit talking about lucky charms. :D they really are magically delicious
and sadly I don't have a box of them or frosted flakes in my house right now.

mikie :D ;D
- who is busy making a grocery list:
     Lucky charms [did you u the marshmallows are called marbits (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucky_Charms)? and started off as circus peanut bits?]
     milk [with the red cap; none of that skim stuff for me!]
     frosted flakes [they're great!]
     8 2-liters of Coke [to get me through next week with my 2-lt a day habit]
Title: Re: Giving Yourself back "The Simple Things"???
Post by: WillyWump on August 21, 2010, 11:48:49 am
Hmmm, well I did the opposite when I was first diagnosed. I immediately changed my diet for the better, I embarked on an excessive regimin of supplements, and started exercising again. However, now 2 years later Ive scaled it back a bit and find myself enjoying the things I enjoyed prehiv such as the fried foods, the ice creams, candy etc, Ive cut back on the supplements to what is reasonable, and although I still exercise it's nbot at the same intesnisty as it was immediately after I was diagnosed.

I think we all have an immediate reaction after diagnosis, whatever it may be, indulging in satisfying foods or implementing a strict diet...I think its a natural response either way and I think in time we even back out to a happy medium.

So enjoy those Lucky Charms! (I like the green "stars" or whatever they are)


-Will
Title: Re: Giving Yourself back "The Simple Things"???
Post by: numbersguy82 on August 21, 2010, 12:12:15 pm
WOW JG I hope you are doing well and adapting to everything. I'm with you all good things in moderation!

Leatherman you sound like my kind of person as far as eating habits. I don't allow myself Soda or sugary foods, but man its promising to see your numbers so good without taking your habits to the extreme. Good for you.

Willy I think I will take the same route you took after diagnosis. I'm just trying to gain back the 12lbs I lost by eating anything and everything. I'm self conscious now and being underweight and POZ I assume everyone is thinking the worst about me. I want to work out more, and only eat on the outside of the grocery store. The fresh grains, fruits/veggies and meat. I'm not into the organic food craze, but just limiting my refined foods should help. I'm glad you have found a happy medium with everything. Remember we all gotta go, and looking back we don't want to have any regrets right? Oh BTW I LOVE the marshmellows in Lucky Charms too... I dont discriminate whether it be stars or horseshoes I'll eat them all lol. 
Title: Re: Giving Yourself back "The Simple Things"???
Post by: Nestor on August 21, 2010, 12:22:58 pm
Lucky charms [did you u the marshmallows are called marbits? and started off as circus peanut bits?]



I did not know that.  See how we learn a new thing every day?  

I said that I had not seen lucky charms for thirty years, but I think I have seem them, in stores, and I thought the marshmallows are no longer in the same shapes that they used to be.  But I could be mixing that up with something else....

Quote
milk [with the red cap; none of that skim stuff for me!]

Amen!  I almost screamed at my father when I saw that he was giving skim milk to my grandmother.  Why on earth would skim milk be a good idea for a rail-thin 93-year-old lady? When she visits me she gets cream.  

I'm lucky enough to have an Amish farm with Jersey and Swiss Brown cows--their milk is fantastic!  Unfortunately as someone who has to struggle to keep his waist line somewhat near decency I cannot have it as often as I would like.

Quote
8 2-liters of Coke [to get me through next week with my 2-lt a day habit]

Shudder!  

When I tested Poz 26 years ago I asked my doctors about my diet and what impact it might have on my prognoses . They told me to eat whatever I wanted and even joked that my cholesterol and lipids were the least of my worries .

I took them up on the advice and ate and partied like there was not going to be a tomorrow . I still to this day eat like a pig and take multiple medications and large doses of insulin to combat the problems caused by HIV medicins and the metabolic disorders I have developed from living this was .



That may not have been the best thing, but it was probably better than not eating enough, right?  My doctor says there are two kinds of people: those who lose weight when they are depressed and those who gain weight when they are depressed.  (I'm obviously in the latter camp---I gained twenty pounds in my second year of HIV and have only recently, finally lost them) "We worry about both of them" was what she said.  But I think the problems caused by over-eating are long-term; those caused by malnutrition are immediate.  

Quote
I would advise you to enjoy all good things in moderation .  

Yes!  And I would also say, choose your indulgences well.  I simply will not eat, say, a random mediocre bit of cake just because it happens to be there or I'm bored.  That way, when there's something really worth eating--a fabulous dessert or some great chocolate--I can eat it without worry!  

Hmmm, well I did the opposite when I was first diagnosed. I immediately changed my diet for the better, I embarked on an excessive regimin of supplements, and started exercising again. However, now 2 years later Ive scaled it back a bit and find myself enjoying the things I enjoyed prehiv such as the fried foods, the ice creams, candy etc, Ive cut back on the supplements to what is reasonable, and although I still exercise it's nbot at the same intesnisty as it was immediately after I was diagnosed.

-Will

Sounds just like me.  Actually, after recovering from my CMV episode back in June, I went all over again through the same type of thing as upon diagnosis with HIV: the fanatical diet, the new intensity of exercise, even supplements that I had previously eschewed.  But this time it was a sort of "fast-forward version" of what happened then, and by now I'm more or less back to normal.  

More interestingly in terms of Numbersguy's question, I've also had a burst of "enjoy life" activity. I've been hiking and rock-climbing, spent a few days in Washington where I'd never been despite living just a bus ride away, invited my grandmother for a week's visit--just tried to pack a lot of enjoyment into the present moment.
Title: Re: Giving Yourself back "The Simple Things"???
Post by: numbersguy82 on August 21, 2010, 12:29:25 pm
Nestor its great to read that you are really enjoying life. I wonder if people without HIV will ever get to the point where they realize that they aren't living, but merely existing. Maybe we are all lucky in that respect. :)
Title: Re: Giving Yourself back "The Simple Things"???
Post by: phildinftlaudy on August 21, 2010, 12:32:02 pm
I love the simple things....
I love my Coronas (no lime) although, I did give up the Bacardi Gold and Coca Cola about a year ago - it was getting too hard on my stomach
I buy the 2% milk
I tried to eat turkey bacon - but couldn't do it - have to have my pork bacon
I do buy beef smoked sausage instead of pork - go figure
I love my triple chocolate fudge brownie ice cream
I love my strong, black men - err coffee (1 large cup every weekday morning)
Haven't had cereal in such a long time - but Count Chocala was always my favorite
Also, still smoking my Newport 100s (pack a day)
Enjoy my Papa John's pizza  - probably once every other week - loaded with all the meats (I'm a meat man)
Enjoy my chicken wings from Wing Zone or Flanigan's - about once a week
Like to make my loaded omelettes on the weekend
I don't eat as many fried foods as I used to - bake things  a little more
I used to love my chili but haven't had that in about a year - was causing too many stomach issues (of course, that was about the same time I was enjoying my Bacardi and Coke - so it may have just been that)
And I enjoy one or two other things that I won't name on here   ;)    
Everything in moderation.
Title: Re: Giving Yourself back "The Simple Things"???
Post by: WillyWump on August 21, 2010, 12:34:22 pm

More interestingly in terms of Numbersguy's question, I've also had a burst of "enjoy life" activity. I've been hiking and rock-climbing, spent a few days in Washington where I'd never been despite living just a bus ride away, invited my grandmother for a week's visit--just tried to pack a lot of enjoyment into the present moment.

I agree, I actually have the overriding urge to "enjoy life", I make it a point to spend money I wouldnt ahve before, I make it a point to go on 2 or 3 vacations a year, every chance I get I try to experience something new

I think that facing HIv has made me appreciate life more, and maybe it toook my diagnosis to realize I am mortal, and thus I realize that my time here is limited whehter it be due to HIV or not, and I need to enjoy every minute of it (something I didnt realize and may not have realized without my HIV diagnosis).

Afterall, one day all of this will be gone, yes even the Lucky Charms :) *puts Lucky Charms on grocery lsit*

Will
Title: Re: Giving Yourself back "The Simple Things"???
Post by: numbersguy82 on August 21, 2010, 12:37:21 pm
Coronas without LIME????? Ok that is not even right. I gotta have a lime in mine :)
Title: Re: Giving Yourself back "The Simple Things"???
Post by: numbersguy82 on August 21, 2010, 12:38:35 pm
I agree, I actually have the overriding urge to "enjoy life", I make it a point to spend money I wouldnt ahve before, I make it a point to go on 2 or 3 vacations a year, every chance I get I try to experience something new

I think that facing HIv has made me appreciate life more, and maybe it toook my diagnosis to realize I am mortal, and thus I realize that my time here is limited whehter it be due to HIV or not, and I need to enjoy every minute of it (something I didnt realize and may not have realized without my HIV diagnosis).

Afterall, one day all of this will be gone, yes even the Lucky Charms :) *puts Lucky Charms on grocery lsit*

Will

HAHA I want General Mills to give me something for making everyone on here crave Lucky Charms now lol
Title: Re: Giving Yourself back "The Simple Things"???
Post by: phildinftlaudy on August 21, 2010, 12:39:14 pm
Coronas without LIME????? Ok that is not even right. I gotta have a lime in mine :)
Dilutes the beer too much  LOL ;D
Title: Re: Giving Yourself back "The Simple Things"???
Post by: Nestor on August 21, 2010, 01:30:06 pm
HAHA I want General Mills to give me something for making everyone on here crave Lucky Charms now lol

I probably shouldn't say this, but with that handsome, smiling picture you're probably making some people crave things less innocent than a bowl of Lucky Charms. 
Title: Re: Giving Yourself back "The Simple Things"???
Post by: BT65 on August 21, 2010, 01:38:54 pm
I got some Lucky Charms a couple days ago, and enjoyed a bowl this morning.
Title: Re: Giving Yourself back "The Simple Things"???
Post by: emeraldize on August 21, 2010, 02:08:06 pm
Long before dx, I'd stopped "the bad stuff" of drinking, cigs, etc. and what I found was incredibly comforting post-dx was downing ice cream by the quart in a sitting. I don't do that now, but I do eat ice cream a couple of times a week whereas before I rarely did.

I try to eat healthfully without being over-the-top nor spending huge amounts of money. Cooking at home makes eating much more affordable and so I do a bunch of that---simple, but nutritious and varied. The only thing I know I need to add back in is more physical exercise---I'm working on that. Em

PS I have very pleasant memories of scarfing lots of Lucky Charms in my childhood--thanks for jostling them.
Title: Re: Giving Yourself back "The Simple Things"???
Post by: RapidRod on August 21, 2010, 02:25:24 pm
Haven't changed a thing as in what I eat.
Title: Re: Giving Yourself back "The Simple Things"???
Post by: Miss Philicia on August 21, 2010, 02:27:26 pm
I rarely buy cereal as it's incredibly over-priced, but maybe twice a year I'll snag some Crunch Berries.  If I'm going to splurge I'd rather have something like a ham and cheese croissant.
Title: Re: Giving Yourself back "The Simple Things"???
Post by: mecch on August 21, 2010, 03:46:20 pm
To the OP
Yeah live it up for the moment. Eventually you'll just return to your everyday worries about keeping fit, eating healthy.  You wouldn't want to let yourself go too early, after all! If ever.
Title: Re: Giving Yourself back "The Simple Things"???
Post by: MarcoPoz on August 21, 2010, 10:05:49 pm
Forgive me for getting all "Buddhist" here...

But I was a total wreck when first diagnosed.  Everything was so big and so terrible--I needed something to make things smaller and more manageable.  Just then a friend said, "Rule number 1:  Find joy.  Rule number 2: Stay with joy.

Nothing wrong at all with a joyful smile and snicker from a bowl of cereal in the morning!  :)
Title: Re: Giving Yourself back "The Simple Things"???
Post by: LoboDog on August 21, 2010, 10:40:10 pm
I was in shell shock when I was diagnosed. I didn't really have the spirit to do very much. I just mulled through life for about 6 months keeping to my same patterns.

My partner (he's neg) on the other hand decided that we needed to do a Hawaiian Cruise. I think he wanted to do all the things that we were meant to do before I kicked the bucket. It was a nice sweet thought despite the pessimistic reasoning.

That was the best vacation that I had ever been on. God bless him!!!

I really want to live my life as though I don't have this. I don't want to be a gloomy gus trying to live like there is no tomorrow. I want to create a tomorrow that is better than today.

Now we have to come up with a vacation that tops that cruise. Any suggestions?
Title: Re: Giving Yourself back "The Simple Things"???
Post by: mecch on August 21, 2010, 11:16:38 pm
Safari? Ski the Alps? Eat your way through France or Italy or Spain?
Title: Re: Giving Yourself back "The Simple Things"???
Post by: Miss Philicia on August 21, 2010, 11:21:59 pm
Male hustlers in Brazil?
Title: Re: Giving Yourself back "The Simple Things"???
Post by: BT65 on August 22, 2010, 05:08:04 am
A drug fest in Amsterdam?
Title: Re: Giving Yourself back "The Simple Things"???
Post by: TabooPrincess on August 22, 2010, 05:28:07 am
Just be careful about over-indulgence!  I've put on over 2 stone since diagnosis - initially going on a big drinker bender for about 6 months until I found out I was pregnant.  Then I actually LOST weight whilst pregnant, never felt healthier in my life!  Since then I've put back a stone and a half from generally just thinking ' ah sod it '....

Need to get brain in gear for healthier lifestyle....can't seem to do it at the mo....
Title: Re: Giving Yourself back "The Simple Things"???
Post by: Matty the Damned on August 23, 2010, 03:34:43 am
Haven't changed a thing as in what I eat.

Well fricasee of possum is probably hard to give up.

MtD
Title: Re: Giving Yourself back "The Simple Things"???
Post by: emeraldize on August 23, 2010, 07:23:38 am
A drug fest in Amsterdam?

No better place to have one!!! ;D Get f'd up and go see Van Gogh's works.
Title: Re: Giving Yourself back "The Simple Things"???
Post by: BJS2011 on June 22, 2011, 07:17:55 am
I'm just curious, because I am newly diagnosed, if you have adapted your living habits outside the realm of medicines and exercise since being diagnosed. More specifically did you restrict yourself from things before, and now you just enjoy life and say "The Hell with it". I've already noticed in the few short weeks that while my health is important and I have always eaten healthy... that I've allowed myself certain liberties I never would have before. For example before for breakfast I would eat Special K or some other fiber bran cereal with a piece of whole wheat toast. Now I've found myself buying the food of my childhood. Lucky Charms, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and even Frosted Flakes. I literally got giddy this morning when I opened the chocolate Lucky Charms... I mean juvenile I know but I def smiled. I know the extra sugar isn't necessarily good, but I needed to gain some weight as I lost 12lbs during seroconversion.

I'm just curious if anyone else has done the same type of thing. Either found joy in the things you are familar with but before your diagnosis maybe didn't enjoy as often as you should have. I know probably hobbies and travels change quite a bit  after diagnosis too. I almost feel like this diagnosis has encouraged me to stop merely existing and actually LIVE my life. We only get one shot right, and within reason we should enjoy it.
Be very careful of sugar intake. Sugar is very bad for your immune system plus this is bad calories your eating.
Title: Re: Giving Yourself back "The Simple Things"???
Post by: bocker3 on June 22, 2011, 07:26:41 am
Be very careful of sugar intake. Sugar is very bad for your immune system plus this is bad calories your eating.
Would you please look at the dates on threads before you respond.  This particular one hasn't been touched in almost a year.

Thanks,
M
Title: Re: Giving Yourself back "The Simple Things"???
Post by: mecch on June 22, 2011, 07:28:05 am
duped
Title: Re: Giving Yourself back "The Simple Things"???
Post by: Solo_LTSurvivor on June 22, 2011, 01:09:33 pm
Would you please look at the dates on threads before you respond.  This particular one hasn't been touched in almost a year.

Thanks,
M

LOL, Mike.

You have to admit that thanks to his posts this board is now running a close second to Am I Infected when it comes to some real gems being posted  ::)
Title: Re: Giving Yourself back "The Simple Things"???
Post by: Bucko on June 22, 2011, 01:31:01 pm
In the 12 years between my infection and my diagnosis I lived in a blissful state of creative denial, so when the actual diagnosis came in, I was devastated. Most of this devastation was because I'd unintentionally infected my then-partner with a broken condom, then we went without them for another year after that. I was a fucking basket case.

So I went into "superpatient" mode immediately. In addition to all those expensive (but benign) dietary supplements and vitamins, I ate carefully and, for many years, gave up alcohol. I was religiously compliant with my meds, even some of the really hateful ones like AZT, Zerit and the much-reviled DDI. Full stomach for this, empty stomach for that: I was taking some sort of pill every few hours of my wakeful state.

I was put on Kaletra in 2001 and my cholesterol exploded from 150 to 525 in three weeks; my triglycerides were at foie gras levels. Instead of trying something else, I was put on an ultra-strict no-fat-no-cholesterol-never-no-kidding diet that reduced my food possibilities to sandpaper (practically). I now refer to this as my period of medically-supervised wasting: I lost about 40 pounds in about five months (and I'm only 5'6).

Though I never got a hump or a belly, I did lose virtually all my body fat and have a look of extreme vascularity on my arms and legs, which are otherwise skin, muscle, tendons and bone. Many people find it attractive, though I find it gaunt. And all that fat? It didn't just disappear, it's in my arteries. I've already had one angioplasty and am undoubtedly in need of another soon, judging by the cramping in my left leg.

Once I was finally taken off that hateful diet (after five years), I pulled way back from being a "superpatient" and decided to live my time left with as much pleasure as I could muster. I eat pretty much whatever I want (and can afford). The combination of my prematurely aged arteries (one doc said they looked like the arteries of a man in his 70s: I'm 51) and the pain from all the disc degeneration in my neck (docs are split on how HIV has effected my neurological and orthopedic issues) limits many of my activities these days, but I still get around, and I still work six or seven nights per week. Things could be worse.

I hope I never return to the days when I was taking 35+ pills per day or to be under the supervised care of a primary doc, an ID specialist, a nutritionist, a neurologist, a pain specialist, a psychiatrist, a psychotherapist and a physical therapist (phew!). It's exhausting just writing all that out!  ::)

Title: Re: Giving Yourself back "The Simple Things"???
Post by: mecch on June 22, 2011, 03:41:09 pm
Oh crap, duped. This is a zombie thread.
Title: Re: Giving Yourself back "The Simple Things"???
Post by: Dachshund on June 22, 2011, 04:03:19 pm
Oh crap, duped.

Imagine that. ::)
Title: Re: Giving Yourself back "The Simple Things"???
Post by: newt on June 22, 2011, 04:22:10 pm
I bought a Nintendo DS :-)

- matt