HIV risk and panic

[icecube]

Hi there,

First of all, I'd like to thank the people of this forum for the open topics, it's good to read that I am not the only one fearing I might have caught something.

I'd like to expose my situation: after a night out with a friend where we drank quite a bit, we have decided to go to a strip club, somewhere in Eastern Europe, as we were both in a situation where his girlfriend dumped him and my crush just hooked up with another dude, just after I moved to this city; were quite sad; nevermind. We went to the club and there we chatted a bit with the girls and they performed some dancing. It seems that this club was actually offering a bit more than just exotic dancing. Nevertheless, I had never had any sort of sex before that, and the girl said that she could teach me a thing or two. I was really unconfortable with this idea, but I said screw it, I am quite old and normally at my age I should have at least some idea about how all of this works. So I said fine, let's just go and see how it goes.

She kissed me a little (yeah, looking back this probably wasn't the best of ideas), and then she went ahead to perform oral; she almost started without any sort of protection, but then I said that she should just put a condom on. I'm very scared of health issues, you could say I'm a hipocondriac. Fine. She went ahead, but I couldn't get it up, even though I tried; again, I wasn't feeling fine with this idea. She continued a bit, then she put herself on the bed, I started masturbating her a little, she told me a thing or two, I kissed her neck and played with her boobs a little, and then she suggested we should try normal. I tried to put it, but the little guy wasn't feeling it. She took the condom off, then said there's nothing we can do. I suggested we should try again, but with her on top this time. She took off another condom, put it again (a new one), and she went on top of me.

Again, I wasn't fully erect, she tried to put it there, she moved a little and held my thing with her hand, trying to get it up. I think I penetrated but for very little time, she stayed on top of me and just moved horizontally, doing circles and such. After maybe one minute or two, we just agreed that there's no point in trying to go further, so we just stopped. Condom was still there, albeit probably she held it with her hand a little to not come off. Took it off after the act, put my pants back up and that was that. Took a shower home.

Even though it's without any importance, the girls there said that they get checked regularly, but no proof of course. Anyone can say that. They said that the manager there asks them for regular checkups (every 3 weeks - or months - can't really remember). It's not a street hooker, it's a private club, but I guess HIV doesn't care. You either have it or not.

That was about 2 weeks ago, and now I feel a bit feverish, I sweat in the night (now a bit less but one night I really sweated a lot), had some stomach issues, headaches (this is already 3-4 days on, but I do have quite high blood fat and some hypertension), a bit of coughing (I smoke and went outside when it was cold). It was my birthday a few days ago and we drank a lot, I was sick the next morning, also ate some sushi that wasn't so good, so perhaps I got something there. Now I feel better, but I felt weak for two days or so.

Again, I'm really scared about HIV and other things. Got tested about 15 days on with a Gen. 4 Ab/Ag test that came out negative, even though it was quite soon. Also did a PCR test, which will give the results in 10 days. I don't have any sort of rash, no lymphatic nodes that are swollen, just this mild under-fever (37.0 - 37.5C), a bit of coughing. Have some mouth ulcer that might be due to a in-cheek bite. A good friend with which I spent some time lately was just detected corona-positive, I'm vaccinated and did some Ag tests, I'm negative, but it seems I might still get some symptoms if I was exposed, even if vaccinated, but I guess the test should pop up positive in that case. Also vaccinated for HepB.

I'm just trying to get time to pass faster and stop worrying. I know HIV is hard to transmit, like 0.04% per unprotected act for the insertive partner in a heterosexual relationship, but these are only numbers. I'm not a very lucky guy in general, so, well, I can only think about the bad scenarios.

Was I at risk here, since I wasn't fully erect? Those symptoms, can they be caused by anxiety and/or other things? I don't usually get sick easily, so this is a bit worrying, especially that it's two weeks on after this contact I told you about. It was also my first sexual contact, so this is even more mind blowing for me.

Cheers,

[Jim Allen]

Hiya,

Read your post three times. Nothing you mentioned about the encounter is an HIV concern, move on with your life.

Here's what you need to know to avoid HIV infection:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, every time, no exceptions. Consider talking to your healthcare provider about PrEP as an additional layer of HIV protection

Keep in mind that some sexual practices described as ‘safe’ in terms of HIV transmission might still pose a risk for transmission of other STI's, so please do get tested regularly and at least yearly for all STI's including but not limited to HIV and test more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs

Also, note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and, the only way of knowing is by testing.

Kind regards

Jim

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