hi from me

[whoknew]

Hi, I just wanted to introduce myself. I am whoknew (clearly NOT my real name hehe) I have only joined today but I have been diagnosed for two years. I have two children I found out I was positive after I had my first and was so scared waiting for the diagnosis to come for my daughter. I hadn't known when I was pregnant and had said no to testing because of the fact I thought I was safe.

she is negative completly amazing. My husband had got very ill and he also got diagnosed this is how we found out. He did not know I looked in his eyes that day when he cried so hard I thought he would break and knew that he was and always would be my soulmate this disease did not change that and we married the following year. He is my best friend, my lover and my soulmate. and yes he does annoy me a large % of the time but hey he is a man hahaha.

I have not told anyone else, I get support from a councillor and a peer support group and to be honest I feel I am mostly at peace, no longer do I feel this controlls me, I controll it. I do not think about it all the time, yes it is part of me but its not the BIGGEST part. I am so much more than a virus.

I am back at school, I would like to train as a councillor, I also had another baby , this time planned and managed well by OBGYN and hiv Drs.  some people I met in my pregnancy care were quite shocked that I had planned a baby , I even got asked if a student could write a confidential report on my pregnancy as mostly they meet women who find out their status during pregnancy. That was fine by me, people have to learn that yes it is ok to make the choice to give life to a child when the mother is positive. Its natural and not selfish at all. Women give birth in lots of different circumstances. To me extending my family when I have a secure and happy home is completly normal.

My baby is a healthy happy, cheeky beautiful 18 month old and all her tests are negative ( waiting for the confirmation of the 18 month test )

I live my life exactly how I always have , no more or no less. I take my medication which I am responding well to ( undetectable for a month now ) I do get down days but they are less so now. I just remind myself of all the people in the world going through worse and tell myself I have more strength than I ever knew.

It really is amazing the capacity women have to cope, you are all amazing every single one of you.

So there it is , my intro. Thankyou for this forum It helped me through my first shaky weeks, my decision to start medication, I have looked up side effects and marveled at the friendships you have all formed... so today I come out and say a proper hello to all you lovely ladies xxx

be well xx

[whoknew]

I just wanted to add that I am sorry if that post seemed a little self indulgent. I am by no means saying having HIV is easy or that I am perfect. Its just reaching the milestone of my babys 18 month test has reminded me how far I have come and how different I now feel to when I first got told the news of this disease.

Its ok , however you feel about this illness we are all human and what is right for one person is wrong for another I just wanted to pat myself on the back really <embarrased now > having told no one is still the right decision for me but on these milestones where I am celebrating  ,like my undetectable VL test and when the baby reached 18 months I find myself at a bit of a loss who to celebrate with

[BT65]

Hey whoknew,

Welcome to our ladies' family.  Sorry we had to meet this way, but I sure am glad you found us.  Please also join us in the ladies' thread (I think this one is called "fight it like a girl").  It's where we share about our daily lives, questions, struggles, happiness, and support each other.  

My name is Betty.  I've been HIV+ for 20 years, been diagnosed with AIDS since 1994.  I got diagnosed with AIDS when I got the wasting syndrome in 1994, with t-cells at around 4.  I got down to 80 lbs, and I'm 5'9 1/2".  So, I was pretty thin.  It was a long recovery, and things have been up and down.  The meds they have out now are so much better than the ones I started out with in the early 90's, trust me.  

I'm glad to hear you're in school.  I just graduated in May with a BS in psychology.  I'm waiting for a program to get accredited at a university nearby, a master's certificate in drug and alcohol counseling, then (hopefully) I'll be taking that.  I've already been accepted; whoever put the program together didn't have the sense to make sure it's accredited, therefore it's not eligible for financial aid (for me, that means more loans, due to it being a "master's" level, it's not eligible for pell grants).  But, stick with the school, it's a good goal.

Anyway, I hope you do join us in the ladies' thread.  Just jump right in.  We're a good bunch.
  Luv,
Betty

[Snowangel]

Welcome, Whoknew!
 

[jay195]

Hi and welcome.It's great to hear that you are doing so well .  Jay xx                                                                             

[#1 mom]

Welcome . I second Betty's invitation. Join us in the ladies thread. It is a great place to share your celebrations  .

Amy (#1 mom)

[Sweet_C]

Hi, thank you so much for sharing your story.  Reading experiences like this really helped me know that I would be able to get through this.  I haven't shared my status with anyone either.  I hope someday I will get the strength...The stigma is probably the hardest part of this disease for me.  I hear people talking about HIV all around me and I just think "if only they knew..."

[whoknew]

I often think the same and I am amazed at how wrong some people still get it Even though I havent shared my own experience with hiv I do take the oppertunity to gently correct people on their misunderstandings . So far no one has questioned why I know these things but I cant stand to see ignorance.

I do wish sometimes I was brave enough to tell my story and dispell some myths about who when and how HIV infects people. I try my best without giving myself away.. maybe one day I will be strong enough to.