Author Topic: unprotected oral, protected vaginal sex (Read 18172 times)

bluestar · « **on:** December 13, 2007, 04:59:58 am »

I'm another worried that had unprotected oral with a prostitute and protected vaginal sex. I'm guessing that you would say i'm not an hiv risk but i have been feeling so anxious and stressed out about this. At 4 weeks after the episode I had a really dry mouth for about a week. I have read that this could be caused by stress or anxiety but also hiv. I'm really scared about this. Are you guys sure that I don't even need a test?

Ann · « **Reply #1 on:** December 13, 2007, 05:50:45 am »

blue,

Nothing you did in this instance was a risk for hiv infection and you don't need to test over it.

However, if you are a sexually active adult, we recommend that you test at least once a year - more often if you're very active or if you have unprotected intercourse with anyone. You should test for ALL sexually transmitted infections because the others are MUCH more easily transmitted than hiv. You don't need to test over one protected incident and/or a blowjob. Getting a blowjob is not a risk for hiv infection, protected or not.

ANYONE can have a dry mouth. ANYONE. It certainly isn't hiv specific.

Please read our Welcome Thread and along with familiarising yourself with our posting guidelines, click on the link to our Transmission Lesson (in the welcome thread) so you can learn more about how hiv is and is not transmitted.

Here's what else you need to know - and I've repeated the testing recommendation because it's important. I have the feeling you're new to sex and while you don't need to test over this one encounter, as you become more sexually active you need to start having check-ups. It's what responsible adults do to protect their own health and that of their sexual partners.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann

bluestar · « **Reply #2 on:** December 14, 2007, 10:04:41 pm »

I just want to say thank you to the moderators of this forum. You guys provide an incredible psycological service to extremely worried people such as myself and make it possible for me to survive the excrutiating long days that I have to go through until I reach the 3 month mark when I can take the test. If it weren't for this forum I'd be a complete mess. I'm still worried but holding out hope that all these symptoms are just being amplified by my mind.

Ann · « **Reply #3 on:** December 14, 2007, 10:33:05 pm »

Blue,

Did you even read what I wrote? YOU DON'T NEED TO TEST over this incident, therefore you don't need to wait three months to test to find out your hiv status.

Ann

bluestar · « **Reply #4 on:** December 15, 2007, 10:51:12 pm »

I just can't get the thought out of my head about the symptoms i've been experiencing. About 3 weeks after the episode i started getting muscle twitches for a couple of weeks, then I couldn't sleep properly for about 2 weeks, then the extremely dry mouth for at least a week, i'm talking burning tongue and everything. Now I feel nausea and loss of apetite and fatigue and I'm at the 7 week mark. Further more I'm extremely worried about my partner and that I might have infected her feel so guilty and depressed about what I did. It just seems so coincidental to be experiencing all these symptoms in the window period for infection.

Ann · « **Reply #5 on:** December 16, 2007, 05:35:04 am »

Further more I'm extremely worried

Blue,

You're extremely worried and you wonder why you're having classic symptoms of stress and anxiety? Go see your doctor about finding a therapist and have a check-up while you're there. Guilt is most likely the only thing wrong with you.

Whatever is going on, it is not hiv. You certainly did NOT have a risk during this incident.

Ann

bluestar · « **Reply #6 on:** December 19, 2007, 04:39:09 pm »

just need more reassurance. My encounter was as described in my first post. Unprotected oral sex (receiving) and protected vaginal sex that didn't last very long and the condom was intact during intercourse. I removed the condom and then washed. Guilt pretty much set in straight away as I am married and have a child and another on the way so have trouble coming to grips with what i did.

I managed to convince myself for a while that i was no risk and felt ok up to 3 weeks and had sex with my wife once without ejaculation but I now realize that makes little difference. I hadn't read at the time that this is the most infectious time. A couple days later i started getting nerve pain and twitches for about 2 weeks. Then I got a really dry mouth and had trouble sleeping for a week to 10 days and felt generally off. I was disengaged at work and everyone noticed that I wasn't myself. That finally subsided and I thought maybe it was stress and anxiety.

Now 4 weeks after the one time I had sex wtih my wife, she has a sniffy nose, and a mild sore throat, had 2 nights of tossing and turning in bed and fatigue etc. Obviously my mind is turning me loopy right now playing out worst case scenarios that I've infected myself and my wife. Am I the idiot that managed to get infected from an unprotected blow job? There's just too much conflicting information about the risk of this event.

Matty the Damned · « **Reply #7 on:** December 19, 2007, 04:45:31 pm »

Blue,

Other than assuring you that you were not at risk from copping an unprotected blowjob, I don't see how we can help you. We cannot assuage your guilt nor provide you with counseling.

The symptoms you refer to, both yours and your wife's, are not HIV related.

MtD

Andy Velez · « **Reply #8 on:** December 19, 2007, 05:08:12 pm »

If you continue to surf the net to find more to jangle your guilty conscience, believe me you're going to find plenty of inaccurate baloney to do just that.

There has never been a single confirmed case of transmission to a guy getting a blowjob and you aren't going to make history by becoming the first.

You're a dawg like many of us here and you went straying. That's what this is really about. So stop the drama, accept what you did, take a breath, let it go and get on with your life. Your wife's sniffles and whatever have nothing to do with HIV because you don't have HIV to pass on to her. Really. So give it up.

If her symptoms persist she should see her doctor.

And you need to get productively busy in your life with other matters. No kidding. And if you can't do that then get some professional help to deal with this matter.

bluestar · « **Reply #9 on:** December 21, 2007, 01:38:10 am »

I just got tested today and will find out my results on the 2nd of January. Here's hoping for the best. I'll post the result when I get it.

Matty the Damned · « **Reply #10 on:** December 21, 2007, 01:46:17 am »

Hoping for the best?

How about I tell you what your result will be?

Negative. That's what.

MtD

bluestar · « **Reply #11 on:** December 21, 2007, 03:11:00 am »

I just have to wait out the next 12 days. I'm also in Aus and the clinical nurse said I had a NAT test or something like that which tests for both antibodies and the virus itself and he said that it's good enough to be at 8 weeks for this test. It's good that its free to test here, although the first screening nurse I saw was trying to get me to come back at 13 weeks and mentioned something about going 'over budget' for testing or something this year. Do people in the USA have to pay for this stuff?

Matty the Damned · « **Reply #12 on:** December 21, 2007, 03:16:16 am »

I live in Australia too, and I find it very hard to believe that Medicare (or your relevant SHS) would approve a NAT test for you, given the risk you describe.

MtD

bluestar · « **Reply #13 on:** December 21, 2007, 03:35:50 am »

Mtd, I described exactly the same as I have here on this forum. It was the Qld Sexual Health clinic walk in triage service. The nurse said I had an unmeasurable risk (I guess they don't say no risk). Maybe it was because I'm at 8 weeks rather than 13 that I got that test? Now my mind is starting to worry again if you think it was 'unusual'.

bluestar · « **Reply #14 on:** December 21, 2007, 03:40:42 am »

My scenario as I discussed with the nurse was unprotected oral and protected vaginal sex with a csw (apparently they get a certificate every 3 months). I didn't ask for any particular test and was told the risk was extremely low. Mtd, could it be that you just aren't familiar with the procedures at the Qld SHS? Anything you find hard to believe is worrying me.

Matty the Damned · « **Reply #15 on:** December 21, 2007, 03:54:50 am »

NAT testing is very expensive and for that reason is generally used on pooled samples, eg blood blank collections.

Whilst the provision of health services is regulated at a state level in Australia there are national guidelines covering the provision of sexual health services, and last I checked those guidelines provided for the use of HIV antibody testing - particularly at public SHS's.

I am intimately familiar with the policies and procedures used in Australia and I say again that I find it hard to accept that you have been given access to NAT. I also find it hard to accept that an Australian clinical nurse consultant or clinical nurse specialist (even one working in the profligant state of Queensland) would order any sort of HIV testing given the risk you report

Nevertheless I will assume good faith on your part and accept what you say. The result of your NAT will be negative.

You do not have HIV.

MtD

bluestar · « **Reply #16 on:** December 21, 2007, 04:39:38 am »

Mtd, the screening nurse was encouraging me to go away and come back at 13 weeks and did mention about going 'over budget' and that I would have to come back again at 13 weeks anyway to make absolutely sure about the result.. I just am so sick of the anxiety that I said I still wanted to see a clinical nurse and didn't care about retesting at 13 weeks if I could just get 5 weeks of having a test result under the belt. The clinical nurse then went ahead and took the test along with alll other STDS and said with this NAT test I wouldn't have to come back at 13 weeks and that would be the end of my worry and anxiety, getting a 'final' result. I wish I hadn't even mentioned it now.I'm getting the feeling that you think I'm somehow being dishonest about something I've been posting which is disconcerting for someone already very worried, perhaps unnecessarily so given you're assessement of my risk.

Matty the Damned · « **Reply #17 on:** December 21, 2007, 04:41:36 am »

Mtd, the screening nurse was encouraging me to go away and come back at 13 weeks and did mention about going 'over budget' and that I would have to come back again at 13 weeks anyway to make absolutely sure about the result.. I just am so sick of the anxiety that I said I still wanted to see a clinical nurse and didn't care about retesting at 13 weeks if I could just get 5 weeks of having a test result under the belt. The clinical nurse then went ahead and took the test along with alll other STDS and said with this NAT test I wouldn't have to come back at 13 weeks and that would be the end of my worry and anxiety, getting a 'final' result. I wish I hadn't even mentioned it now.I'm getting the feeling that you think I'm somehow being dishonest about something I've been posting which is disconcerting for someone already very worried, perhaps unnecessarily so given you're assessement of my risk.

Going "over budget" eh?

Well whatever. I say again, you were not at risk. You do not have HIV.

MtD

bluestar · « **Reply #18 on:** December 23, 2007, 02:44:53 pm »

I'm really starting to freak out now. I think I now have a rash on my left buttock and upper thigh. My dry mouth comes and goes. I feel lerthargic and have nasea and no appetite. This just shouldn't be happening but I think I'm about to experience my worst possible nightmare. How could I have these symptoms for a no risk? For a no risk I'm having so many symptoms it just can't be a coincidence.

Ann · « **Reply #19 on:** December 23, 2007, 05:19:03 pm »

For a no risk I'm having so many symptoms it just can't be a coincidence.

Blue,

Sure it can. Just read through 99% of the posts in this forum and you'll see just how much of a coincidence it is. You didn't have a risk and whatever is going on with you has nothing to do with hiv.

You are getting close to being timed out. If you've read the Welcome Thread like you're supposed to, you will have read the following:

Quote

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Please consider yourself warned. You did not have a risk for hiv infection. If you're worried about physical symptoms, see your doctor. Whatever is going on has nothing to do with hiv.

Ann

bluestar · « **Reply #20 on:** December 25, 2007, 03:42:58 pm »

Ann, this site is the only thing that gives me some hope at the moment, so please don't ban me yet. I'll get my results in a week. Until then, i'm experiencing more and more symptoms that are just too much related to hiv that I can't in my mind fathom that it could be anything else. I just want to explain what my encounter was and my symptoms one more time to see if there was something about it that could have been risky or if I'm just extremely unlucky.

I visited a casual sex worker and initially had a shower. She then took my penis in her mouth, unprotected and gave me a blow job, pretty vigorously and she took it deep in her throat and this lasted probably about 5 minutes - 10 minutes.

I then asked if she had a condom and she put one on. The tip and 3/4 the shaft was covered. She used her fingers to lift and unroll the condom down so maybe there was a nick in it with her fingernails? Then she put it back in her mouth for about 30 seconds. Then I had vaginal sex that lasted only a minute or two. When I withdrew the condom was intact, I held it and it had all the cum contained within it. I couldn't see any holes or rips. Could there have been something about her putting the condom in her mouth or unrolling with fingernails that could have comprimised the condom?

Anyway, about 3 weeks later I started have twitches and nerve pain sensations. At 4.5 weeks this subsided mostly but I developed an extremely dry mouth (xerostomia) which I still have now at the 8 week mark and one of the few unmedicated related causes is hiv. At about 5 weeks I had lost a fair amount of weight, lost my appetite and felt nausea. I have a very dry scalp. My digestive system is not working properly. My stools are very soft and pale and I go for days without passing anything. Just this week i've developed a rash that exactly matches the description of the seroconversion rash. It has a raised flat bumps and general redness blotchiness on my torso. I feel like crap and always want to stay in bed.

In short I'm convinced I have hiv from this situation and I'm sure from the symptoms I'm describing you could understand why. I find out my results in a week but I'm now trying to work out how I can cope with a positive diagnosis. How do you quite work, inform friends and family and not lose it or commit suicide? I can't get counselling this week because I'm with my family over xmas. The other thing is if I'm positive nobody on this forum will believe my description of what happened.

RapidRod · « **Reply #21 on:** December 25, 2007, 03:59:44 pm »

You just don't listen. Don't be upset when you get your T.O..

bluestar · « **Reply #22 on:** December 29, 2007, 03:22:03 pm »

Has anyone ever experienced a severe dry mouth for over a month due to anxiety? I just can't bring up any saliva and have to constantly apply vaseline to stop my lips chapping and drink water. It's like nothing i have ever experienced. What freaks me out about this is that it came on 4wks post exposure and hasn't let up since (now at 9 weeks). At the time it came on I didn't even know it was a symptom of HIV, and i hadn't even been browsing the web. It's not the only symptom either..i get abdominal pains, pins and needles, had fatigue, weight loss, loss of appetite, sharp pain in my penis every now and then, dry skin and scalp, but the major one is the dry mouth. I'm praying that this is anxiety but deep down am expecting that I am really hiv positive. I would appreciate if you didn't time me out cause my results are in 2 days and I might need somewhere to just put down my thoughts at that time. Does anyone know a counsellor in Aus that I could talk too if i come back pos?

bluestar · « **Reply #23 on:** December 29, 2007, 08:18:56 pm »

I just rang back the csw cause I can't handle the stress and I asked her if she was ok. Not that you can really believe anything but she said she was fine and had a test 6 months ago. I guess if i believe that then my chances are a bit better, but still there's a 6 month window there. This stress is just insane.

RapidRod · « **Reply #24 on:** December 29, 2007, 09:48:11 pm »

What part of NO RISK is it that you don't understand? Are you just typing to see yourself type or what? You sure are not listening. You didn't have a risk as you have been told by four other people on this forum.

bluestar · « **Reply #25 on:** January 01, 2008, 07:04:05 pm »

I just got my results back from an 8 week NAT test and I'm NEGATIVE at this point.

I am probably going to be able to accept this result and move on. Can I just ask, is a NAT test a really good test to get a negative result at the 8 week mark? How does it compare to all the other types of tests? I was told it was trying to detect antibodies and the virus itself. Ann and everybody, is it true that you've never seen an 8 week neg turn pos at 13 weeks?

Thank you everybody for your help. I don't want to jump the gun since I'm not at the 3 month point yet but I'll list my symptoms for other worried wells...

1) Nerve pain and muscle twitching all over my body starting from 3 weeks after exposure. Main intensity lasted for 2 weeks and then mildly intense still up to now (at 10 weeks). Worse when sleeping.

2) An extremely dry mouth, starting at 5 weeks and lasting up to now. Extremely annoying and more so distressing when doing an internet search about possible causes.

3) lots of weight loss. About 10 - 15 pounds. I freak out putting on jeans that used to be tight and are now baggy and require a belt. Everyone has commented that I have 'lost weight' which further fuels my fears.

4) loss of appetite.

5) nausea.

6) extreme fatigue starting at about week 6 and lasting a week.

7) problems with digestion. Growling stomach, loose light colored stools. Occasional diarrhea. Sometimes constipation. Wake up in the middle of the night wanting to throw up.

As soon as I read about the rash, I got rashes. They're probably always there but my mind suddenly turned them into ars rashes.

9) Mild but constant sweating through the night.

10) Disturbed sleep. Haven't had one nights decent sleep in 10 weeks.

Oh and another thing worth mentioning, I have been extremely depressed the last few weeks in particular, and have had awful nights thinking 'what if' i had infected my wife and 'what if' i had infected my unborn child and myself. I've spent the whole christmas period crying at various times of the day. I had my worst christmas ever and so did my wife.

Another section is required for my wifes symptoms post the one sexual encounter we had at 3 weeks after my 'no risk' encounter.

1) At 3 weeks she is extremely fatigued.

2) Bruises start appearing over her legs.

3) I come home one day and she says she had an extreme dizzy spell at the shopping center and felt 'really weird'. Of course that's because in my mind she has hiv that i gave her.

4) Leg numbness. There's times when she's walking that she just has to stop and wait for the feeling to get back into her legs.

5) loss of appetite.

So maybe, just maybe it was because I have been so stressed and anxious that I have manifest all these symptoms in myself. And my wifes symptoms are just because she is pregnant but i turned them into ars symptoms too, which amplified all my fears. At least I'm starting to believe this is possibly the cause of everything and can now see hope at the end of all this.

I will also say, even though its pointless because nobody will read this until they've already made the same mistake, but I have learnt from this that I took everything for granted and was reckless and did a bad thing by cheating on my wife. Yes I'm a dog and I hope that I can not fall into a pattern of behavior and repeat this mistake. I'll try and remember this lesson always.

bluestar · « **Reply #26 on:** January 01, 2008, 07:35:07 pm »

One other thing, while going through this intense anxiety, I did what most people like me do and trawled the internet obsessively searching for information on every symptom. Most sites were scary and convinced me of the worst, but there were a few that gave me hope that I just had anxiety.

Here are some good links...

http://www.anxietycentre.com/anxiety-symptoms.shtml

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fight_or_flight

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/generalized_anxiety_disorder.htm

http://hardanxiety.blogspot.com/fight_or_flight.html

http://www.emedicine.com/emerg/topic35.htm

RapidRod · « **Reply #27 on:** January 01, 2008, 07:39:57 pm »

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

bluestar · « **Reply #28 on:** January 01, 2008, 07:54:59 pm »

Rapid, I'm not questioning the no risk situation now. I'm just putting up information that I found useful during my anxiety in the hope others might find it useful as well.

Ann · « **Reply #29 on:** January 02, 2008, 09:01:13 am »

Blue,

Your eight week negative is not going to change because you did not have a risk in the first place. You are hiv negative and there's nothing more we can do for you here.

I'm giving you that time out you've been warned about. Do not attempt to create a new account to get around your time out because if you do, you will be permanently banned.

Ann

bluestar · « **Reply #30 on:** February 04, 2008, 05:12:58 am »

just wanted to update and let people know I had a 12 week test that also came back negative, as expected.

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Author Topic: unprotected oral, protected vaginal sex (Read 18172 times)