my thoughts on the Newbie Thread #1 in the I Just Tested Positive forum

[woodshere]

Well I posted this in the original thread before I realized what forum it was and since it really wasn't appropriate to that forum moved it here.

HMMMM, so where do i fit, when does one stop being a newbie.  I was diagnosed poz 4.5 yrs ago, so i am by no means new to the HIV world. Age wise I am closer to LTS, however don't qualify there and i am not a woman.  Maybe we need a forum for the "tweeners: those that don't fit either and while we are at it let's start one just for HIV+ Bisexuals, one entitled "I never had anal sex and only sucked dick with a condom so how come I am HIV+?" and one for "Seniors who just became HIV+" after all thanks to Viagra they are once again doin' the nasty.  I think the thread is absolutely ridiculous.  It is designed to antagonize and create divide as is obvious by the way it was introduced.  Obviously there are some who do not like differing opinions.

A bit about me. I'm 45, live in God's "waiting room" (Florida), was infected and diagnosed July 2009, and started HAART almost one year ago (12/19). I've spent the last 18 months trying to understand 1) what the prospects for a "normal" life are 2) wondering if I'm going to die a miserable death alone

For the life of me I cannot figure out how anyone who tests positive in this day and age seem to be completely  unaware of the significant advancements that have been made since the 80's.  I have never once since testing positive thought that I was going to die a miserable death because I was educated about the advancements that have been made.  When my dr called and told me I was positive he said you know its not like it used be and I was like don't you think i fucking know that.  Do you realize how lucky we are from the meds, to more acceptance, to having the internet for finding info and others in the same boat.  Think about the LTS and testing poz in 1989, they had nothing like this.  As a matter of fact many were told to get there affairs in order because it wasn't going to long before they died. I don't think I have ever been so upset on these forums as I have been today.  If some of you want to surround yourselves with those just like you and exclude people like me and the LTS, go ahead but you are truly missing out.  
 
  
 

[wtfimpoz]

Well I posted this in the original thread before I realized what forum it was and since it really wasn't appropriate to that forum moved it here.

HMMMM, so where do i fit, when does one stop being a newbie.  I was diagnosed poz 4.5 yrs ago, so i am by no means new to the HIV world. Age wise I am closer to LTS, however don't qualify there and i am not a woman.  Maybe we need a forum for the "tweeners: those that don't fit either and while we are at it let's start one just for HIV+ Bisexuals, one entitled "I never had anal sex and only sucked dick with a condom so how come I am HIV+?" and one for "Seniors who just became HIV+" after all thanks to Viagra they are once again doin' the nasty.  I think the thread is absolutely ridiculous.  It is designed to antagonize and create divide as is obvious by the way it was introduced.  Obviously there are some who do not like differing opinions.
For the life of me I cannot figure out how anyone who tests positive in this day and age seem to be completely  unaware of the significant advancements that have been made since the 80's.  I have never once since testing positive thought that I was going to die a miserable death because I was educated about the advancements that have been made.  When my dr called and told me I was positive he said you know its not like it used be and I was like don't you think i fucking know that.  Do you realize how lucky we are from the meds, to more acceptance, to having the internet for finding info and others in the same boat.  Think about the LTS and testing poz in 1989, they had nothing like this.  As a matter of fact many were told to get there affairs in order because it wasn't going to long before they died. I don't think I have ever been so upset on these forums as I have been today.  If some of you want to surround yourselves with those just like you and exclude people like me and the LTS, go ahead but you are truly missing out.  
 
 

Wow, at first, I actually thought you were satirizing the mentality that the a lot of newbies are responding to.  Then, I realized you're serious. 

[woodshere]

The forum suggestions satire, the rest is very serious.

[leatherman]

For the life of me I cannot figure out how anyone who tests positive in this day and age seem to be completely  unaware of the significant advancements that have been made since the 80's.  I have never once since testing positive thought that I was going to die a miserable death

not being rude here, but then you really ought to get out more, hang out with younger peeps or go volunteer at an ASO as you were certainly the exception and not the rule.

Last night I helped my ASO put on a prevention/education production at the local University. Hardly any of those kids understood transmission vectors, none of them knew of the drug improvements, and none of them understood anything about "window periods" that they asked about. (lordy! they're not even using condoms they're just timing between getting laid to know when to go test!)

And why should they know about HIV-related things? Google didn't advertise about WAD, MSNBC's "AIDS around the World" pictorial showed not one picture from America, and several states have already slashed ADAP budgets because they just can't believe that HIV is that big of problem to need that kind of money. Out of sight, out of mind. Even in the midst of World AIDS Day, you would have thought the problem was solved by the absence of much news - well except that blurb about taking "some blue pill that'll keep you from getting AIDS". (Yes, sadly to the ears of the common man, that Truvada PrEP story translates to being an HIV preventative/prophylactic miracle)

Personally, I know nothing about heart, cholesterol, or diabetic medications because I don't have any of those problems, so why suppose that someone would know about HIV meds? Talk to nearly the 1/3 of HIV-infected who find out by being admitted to the hospital and you'll hear that most ER personnel have no clue about HIV/AIDS related issues because of the incredibly small amount of patients that present with those problems - but they do know how to set a broken arm. HIV stigma is still a huge problem and statistically because HIV affects so few people in America, most people just don't know enough about it - and that's why they keep on getting infected.

It's all fine and dandy to say that they should know about HIV; but if they really knew wouldn't they have protected themselves properly and not ended up infected and not ended up here? Sadly, while prevention/education programs do a world of good, the flood of those getting infected seems to be never ending. Quite frankly as I was infected in 84 and diagnosed in 92, I can't understand how people in 2000 didn't know enough about HIV to not get infected and end up here in 2010 as a new member. Oh, I'm not faulting anyone for their indiscretions, actually it saddens me quite a bit. However, I've been doing my level best to help counsel "newbies" when they present here and at my ASO; and working with my ASO's prevention department to stop people from becoming "newbies" in the first place. But it just goes to show how much more we need to work on the prevention message  - since it's not working well enough to have stopped the epidemic yet.

I know of at least 3 people diagnosed this past year after months of hospitals and testing before anyone thought to check about HIV (because you still have to give special permission to be tested for HIV); and I've been asked to peer counsel over half a dozen new clients this year explaining to them that we don't take AZT monotherapy and die within a few months anymore, even with treatment. Heck, you can easily read the numerous posts here from the newly diagnosed, the newly prescribed patients, and those who haven't reached the point of needing meds yet who nearly all are quite literally afraid that taking that first Atripla is owning up to the HIV and will lead if not to their eventual AIDS death, then to lipo, wasting, etc (Pick an ailment or side effect and they're scared of it). I would venture to say that fear of taking the meds is the biggest complaint I read here by those not on meds or those who are about to start. Go read some of those day-by-day summaries to see how many actually expected something dreadful to happen. Of course, I do believe that HIV is a deadly serious illness and I can partially understand their fear; but certainly not their trepidation in taking what are life-saving life-sustaining medication - that part is just crazy to me; but obviously not to them.

My constructive advice would be that if you think people understand anything at all about HIV, AIDS, risk behaviors, or the medications, that you need to volunteer to work with an HIV prevention/education dept for a while to see how little the general public actually does know about HIV and to help combat the huge HIV-illiteracy problem that is rampant in America allowing thousands upon thousands to get infected every year.

[tednlou2]

Woods, I appreciate the point you were making.  Mike, I totally get what you're saying.  It is true that many docs don't even know much about HIV and meds.  I've talked about my issue at the hospital to the point where I'm sure its getting old.  The doc acted like I was dying and told me to get rid of my dogs.  He put on mono-therapy Sustiva and then stopped it.  He treated HIV and HIV meds like antibiotics.  He obviously didn't know anything about HIV.  He probably googled HIV and saw Sustiva was a med used for it.  This is the reason I have an appointment with a lawyer now. 

[woodshere]

Oh leatherman, I don't take you as being rude at all.  I guess I could have explained myself better.  I suppose I was referring more to people my age who become infected.

 

but if they really knew wouldn't they have protected themselves properly and not ended up infected and not ended up here?

 Take my word testing positive at age 41, I have asked myself that many times.  I came out in the 80's so I remember what was going on. Fortunately for me I lived in KY.  Had I lived in SF, NYC or LA, I doubt very seriously that I would be alive today, because at that age I really like to have my fun.  So I was lucky.  In the 90's I worked in youth development and did the first workshop for 4-H on HIV/AIDS ever at a statewide conference.  I followed safe sex guidelines, I knew the consequences.  The only answer I have come up with is on that one night for some reason (it wasn't due to drugs or booze) I made a mistake.  I guess I am such a news junkie and read gay publications and at that time had a friend who was HIV+  I was well aware of the advances and just assume that any man in their 40's would be also.  Of course you know what they say when you assume.

I am very much a realist.  When starting my meds I was not concerned about the side effects because without them I would die.  death vs. side effects easy choice.  I chose mine based on which I could adhere to best.  Being a such a realist is one reason I don't post in threads dealing with starting meds or those in the I Just Tested Positive.  I am a loving, compassionate person I am just wired in such a way as to say either you take the meds or you fucking die.  Once the person starts then I am all about being supportive of their dealing with side effects or adherence problems or concerns about paying for them.
And for the record, since testing positive I have been asked by the HIV/AIDS prevention director for the health department to speak and this past summer led a workshop on HIV/AIDS at my church as part of our study on the Millennium Development Goals.