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Author Topic: roommate possibility  (Read 20586 times)

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Offline David_CA

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #50 on: March 10, 2010, 08:35:04 am »
Not so in California, where next2u lives. The exceptions to fair housing laws for roommates are narrow.
http://www.rentlaw.com/discrimination/california.htm

I think "medical condition" covers able bodied people as well as disabled. If you can't discriminate against poz people, why would you be allowed to discriminate against neg ? It's 2 sides of the same coin, if you ask me. But I'm not a lawyer.

That link mentions 'landlord'.
In NC, if the owner lives in the same residence, he can discriminate.  Honestly, I don't have a problem with that.  Besides being in a relationship with another person, what more intimate living situation can two individuals have except to be co-dwellers?  I'd be surprised if there wasn't something similar in CA, but one never can tell about that state!   ;)

See section § 41A-6. Exemptions
2) The rental of a room or rooms in a private house, not a boarding house, if the
lessor or a member of his family resides in the house

http://www.doa.state.nc.us/hrc/documents/FairHousingAct.pdf

I did.  Even though I was upset he couldn't accept me, I couldn't turn it down.  He obviously wasn't totally straight and obviously had issues.  I hope he has worked that out and isn't living a secret double-life. 
Good to hear.  He was probably afraid that he'd be found to be gay if he lived with you... guilty by association and all.
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Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #51 on: March 10, 2010, 02:25:51 pm »
If you can't discriminate against poz people, why would you be allowed to discriminate against neg ?

Because it's fun.

MtD

Offline madbrain

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #52 on: March 10, 2010, 02:32:07 pm »
That link mentions 'landlord'.
In NC, if the owner lives in the same residence, he can discriminate.  Honestly, I don't have a problem with that.  Besides being in a relationship with another person, what more intimate living situation can two individuals have except to be co-dwellers?  I'd be surprised if there wasn't something similar in CA, but one never can tell about that state!   ;)

Let me tell you how it affects me. I own a home. That makes me a "landlord". My partner lives with me, but is not on the title of the house. That makes him a "boarder". And thus the roommate exception doesn't apply. I have a spare bedroom to rent. I tried to rent it out on craigslist a few months ago while I wasn't working. My ad mentioned we were a gay couple. I didn't even ask for a gay roommate or any preference.

The only answers I got were from trolls, who threatened to sue for discrimination when I didn't send them an application in the mail, but requested they meet in person with me first. One actually asked who owned the house, and how many ppl lived there. I took my room off the rental market because it just wasn't worth the risk of getting sued. I lived off my savings until I found another job. I have pretty much given up on advertising for that room, I keep hoping I will find someone through word of mouth, but it just isn't happening.
« Last Edit: March 10, 2010, 02:33:53 pm by madbrain »

Offline Jeff G

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #53 on: March 10, 2010, 02:35:09 pm »
I suppose it could happen but I would like to be in the courtroom the day a straight man sues a gay guy for not allowing him to be his roomate because he he doesn't have aids . Stranger things have happend ... like the Lindsy milkalcoholic lawsuit LOL .  
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Offline skeebo1969

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #54 on: March 10, 2010, 02:44:14 pm »

  The guy discriminates against pot.  I wouldn't want to work with him let alone have him sleeping next to my ironing board.  I would take my vacation time now and midway through call and give them my two weeks notice. ;)

   Have you thought about when he has his Daddy Days?  Huh, have you? Unless you are ready for countless hours of Dora the Explorer and her damn backpack I would definitely let this guy find his new life without his wife or I in the picture.

   Forgot to mention, plus the fucker has a problem with you smoking weed in your pad.
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline David_CA

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #55 on: March 10, 2010, 03:19:58 pm »
Let me tell you how it affects me. I own a home. That makes me a "landlord". My partner lives with me, but is not on the title of the house. That makes him a "boarder". And thus the roommate exception doesn't apply. I have a spare bedroom to rent. I tried to rent it out on craigslist a few months ago while I wasn't working. My ad mentioned we were a gay couple. I didn't even ask for a gay roommate or any preference.

The only answers I got were from trolls, who threatened to sue for discrimination when I didn't send them an application in the mail, but requested they meet in person with me first. One actually asked who owned the house, and how many ppl lived there. I took my room off the rental market because it just wasn't worth the risk of getting sued. I lived off my savings until I found another job. I have pretty much given up on advertising for that room, I keep hoping I will find someone through word of mouth, but it just isn't happening.
Huh?

I guess NC's laws on non-discrimination in housing make a bit more sense... at least to me.  They are certainly easier to locate.  I spent a few minutes looking through CA's laws and regulations and didn't really find one single source. 

Some definitions of landlord include "people who lease houses, land, etc to others or those who keep a boarding house".  One of the more common definitions of boarding house is "a lodging house at which meals are provided for a fee".  The roommate exception you mentioned would apply in NC and I imagine in other states (we're not THAT unique).  The point that I'm now making is that you, owner of the house, at least in some states, CAN discriminate against a person to whom you will allow to live in your property under certain conditions.  In your case, in a state with laws similar to ours, you could rent or not rent to whomever you choose as long as you or a family member live in the same residence which is not a boarding house or a 4+ multi-family residence. 

What all this means is that in some states, it is legal to rent to whomever one wishes as long as certain requirements are met.  If these exceptions are not present, and one is not allowed to ever discriminate, you would not be able to even mention any of the 'protected classes'.  I remember this well from my real estate days.  We couldn't even mention 'family neighborhood' (family status), 'walking distance' or 'water view' (handicap status), mother-in-law quarters (gender), nearby churches (religion), etc.  It was crazy.  It made for very generic real estate ads, that's for sure!
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06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
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02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
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Offline blackwingbear

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #56 on: March 10, 2010, 04:43:06 pm »
Let me tell you how it affects me. I own a home. That makes me a "landlord". My partner lives with me, but is not on the title of the house. That makes him a "boarder". And thus the roommate exception doesn't apply. I have a spare bedroom to rent. I tried to rent it out on craigslist a few months ago while I wasn't working. My ad mentioned we were a gay couple. I didn't even ask for a gay roommate or any preference.The only answers I got were from trolls, who threatened to sue for discrimination when I didn't send them an application in the mail, but requested they meet in person with me first. One actually asked who owned the house, and how many ppl lived there. I took my room off the rental market because it just wasn't worth the risk of getting sued.

You live in California, right?? No offense meant, but many people there aren't exactly sane or ethical....
It's all a sham. Politics is a big game, same as the media - and same as religion. The point is to distract & control. If we're looking at what they tell us is the "big issue", we're not looking at what they are doing. In time, there will be different causes and different minorities to pick-on. All in the name of keeping the system going, and the people distracted.

Offline blackwingbear

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #57 on: March 10, 2010, 04:44:50 pm »
 The guy discriminates against pot.  I wouldn't want to work with him let alone have him sleeping next to my ironing board.  I would take my vacation time now and midway through call and give them my two weeks notice. ;)

   Have you thought about when he has his Daddy Days?  Huh, have you? Unless you are ready for countless hours of Dora the Explorer and her damn backpack I would definitely let this guy find his new life without his wife or I in the picture.

   Forgot to mention, plus the fucker has a problem with you smoking weed in your pad.

I like the way you think!!!
It's all a sham. Politics is a big game, same as the media - and same as religion. The point is to distract & control. If we're looking at what they tell us is the "big issue", we're not looking at what they are doing. In time, there will be different causes and different minorities to pick-on. All in the name of keeping the system going, and the people distracted.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #58 on: March 10, 2010, 05:17:33 pm »
You live in California, right?? No offense meant, but many people there aren't exactly sane or ethical....

Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to introduce the new Editor-in-Chief of Generalisation Quarterly . . .

 ::)

MtD

Offline blackwingbear

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #59 on: March 10, 2010, 06:41:29 pm »
Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to introduce the new Editor-in-Chief of Generalisation Quarterly . . .

 ::)

MtD

Hey, I did say MANY not ALL... heheheheheheheheh
It's all a sham. Politics is a big game, same as the media - and same as religion. The point is to distract & control. If we're looking at what they tell us is the "big issue", we're not looking at what they are doing. In time, there will be different causes and different minorities to pick-on. All in the name of keeping the system going, and the people distracted.

Offline next2u

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #60 on: March 16, 2010, 11:23:48 am »
well,

i can see some of you still continue to cast stones. i have not offered him a place to stay at this time nor have i responded to any of the responses from my ads on gay roommates or craigslist.

seriously.....some of you people really read a little too much between the lines....

outside of mtd, queen, ann, philly and a handful of others im not really sure that you care...

bleh,
d
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Offline David_CA

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #61 on: March 16, 2010, 11:39:29 am »
well,

i can see some of you still continue to cast stones. i have not offered him a place to stay at this time nor have i responded to any of the responses from my ads on gay roommates or craigslist.

seriously.....some of you people really read a little too much between the lines....

outside of mtd, queen, ann, philly and a handful of others im not really sure that you care...

bleh,
d
Some of us did care enough to take time do a bit of research and post what we'd found.  
Black Friday 03-03-2006
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06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
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11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline Ann

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #62 on: March 16, 2010, 11:47:13 am »
((((((((((D))))))))))
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Offline skeebo1969

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #63 on: March 16, 2010, 11:49:40 am »
well,

i can see some of you still continue to cast stones. i have not offered him a place to stay at this time nor have i responded to any of the responses from my ads on gay roommates or craigslist.

seriously.....some of you people really read a little too much between the lines....

outside of mtd, queen, ann, philly and a handful of others im not really sure that you care...

bleh,
d

Wow this disappoints me.  Well, I guess you could just quit smoking herb then... and learn the theme song to Go Diego, Go!!, which is a little easier to swallow than Dora.

Thomass

PS I think you should buy a big dog.
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline Cliff

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #64 on: March 16, 2010, 12:11:22 pm »
Nah, I think most care.  Maybe it's just frustration.  I doubt anyone wants to see you unhappy. 

These situations are never easy, especially on the inside.  Knowing what's right is the easy part.  Execution can be hard stuff. 

good luck

Offline denb45

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #65 on: March 16, 2010, 12:22:24 pm »
Wow this disappoints me.  Well, I guess you could just quit smoking herb then... and learn the theme song to Go Diego, Go!!, which is a little easier to swallow than Dora.

Thomass

PS I think you should buy a big dog.

I think he should continue to live alone, and maybe he can get a CAT, to take care of, and in the mean time, he needs to live alone for a while, to think about what direction he really wants to go in life, a roomate and a lover aren't quite the same thing  ;) Oh and BTW NOBODY is gonna tell me I cannot smoke no herb in my own place  ;D
« Last Edit: March 16, 2010, 12:26:57 pm by denb45 »
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Offline blackwingbear

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #66 on: March 16, 2010, 02:41:01 pm »
outside of mtd, queen, ann, philly and a handful of others im not really sure that you care...

bleh,
d

Oh dear. Looks like someone is fishing for compliments and hugs rather than advice.
It's all a sham. Politics is a big game, same as the media - and same as religion. The point is to distract & control. If we're looking at what they tell us is the "big issue", we're not looking at what they are doing. In time, there will be different causes and different minorities to pick-on. All in the name of keeping the system going, and the people distracted.

Offline BT65

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #67 on: March 16, 2010, 05:48:10 pm »
outside of mtd, queen, ann, philly and a handful of others im not really sure that you care...
bleh,
d

Come on, now.  You know I care, D.  :-*
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Offline next2u

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #68 on: March 17, 2010, 12:46:27 am »
thanks ...

it's just been kinda rough and it felt like a lot of people were jumping on my ass. and i really feel alone right now. and it fucking blows. i live by myself and outside of work i can go days without talking to people. its not uncommon for my phone not to ring on the weekends.

i have things i can do and people to reach out to but sometimes i just dont feel like being proactive. and he, we talked almost everyday. for over a year. it is hard to let that go. when i got my blood drawn yesterday i wanted to call him, it was our little ritual and now its gone.

this just fucking sucks. and then i come here and i feel like ive opened up only to be characterized as weak and stupid. and then to have him characterized as an asshole. it was a relationship. i still dream about him. i see his car on the road every day. and now when men approach i think of how i feel now and don't want to go through this again (anytime soon).

i had a cat. i wasnt home enough so i had to put him up for adoption. i was raised as an only child...i spent enough of my time alone and have spent a significant amount of time alone. if i am codependent i am also independent by turn.

i dunno, work kicked my ass today. i started feeling nauseous and weak waiting in the grocery store line. life kicked my ass today...

and some of you ... i've shared a lot...and it fuckin sucks...to share so much and then ya know....

anyhow, i have to go to bed. thanks again. skeebo & betty, no offense...i didnt name everyone and definitely said + a handful  of others ...you both were included.

sweet dreams,
d
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Offline Okealyshire

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #69 on: March 17, 2010, 02:26:23 am »
A bit late to the thread, but anyway...

KEEP WORK AND YOUR PRIVATE LIFE SEPERATE.

No earthly language can completely capture my consent to and agreement with this statement. Next2u, this statement summarizes my thoughts about the decision you're considering. My own experience, plus that of many others I know, leads me to be certain that Fearless's statement is sage advice indeed.

(is there christian porn?)

Certainly. This phenomenal specimen comes to mind.
« Last Edit: March 17, 2010, 02:35:46 am by Okealyshire »

Offline Cliff

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #70 on: March 17, 2010, 02:56:42 am »
thanks ...

it's just been kinda rough and it felt like a lot of people were jumping on my ass.
There's some truth to that.  I apologise for my dismissive, sarcastic response.

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #71 on: March 17, 2010, 03:01:48 am »
anyhow, i have to go to bed. thanks again. skeebo & betty, no offense...i didnt name everyone and definitely said + a handful  of others ...you both were included.

  Don't worry D I was kidding above anyways, I know what you meant.  Sorry you're having it tough right now, having been through many break ups myself I can totally relate.   I always had a tendency after a break up to only look at the good memories, sort of put them on a pedestal like.  I think you do this also and until you stop the time to heal your heart will be longer.

  I know it's hard man, keep you're chin up.
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline BT65

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #72 on: March 17, 2010, 04:41:37 am »
D, I can relate in that my phone hardly rings also.  I believe in my case, I'm too selfish to be in a relationship.  I like to do whatever I want, whenever I want, without having to answer to anyone.  I realize not everyone is like that.

Don't you have any friends you can hang out with?  Like, I do have a couple friends I do things with on the weekend.  Sometimes they call me, and sometimes I call them.  So, maybe you have to reach out sometimes to others.  I don't totally know your whole situation, but that was just a thought.

I only wish you the best, D.  It is hard to end a relationship that was so involved.  Just be good to yourself. 
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Offline Jeff G

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #73 on: March 17, 2010, 08:35:28 am »
Hi D , I apologise if I ever said anything to hurt you .

Being alone is something I was never good at and it was one of the biggest challenge I ever had to face . It took a long time for me to realize facing the fear of being all by my self was really a blessing and something hard worth doing .

These days being alone doesn't mean isolated , I have a few good friends that I see and do things with mostly on the week end . I rarely date these days . I'm open to dating if the right person came alone but being happy alone has helped me break the old habit of being with somebody that maybe is not so good for me . I'm at the point in life now where I honestly feel if I live alone the rest of my life then so what I'm happy .

I feel like I'm a better catch as a friend or a lover since I faced the being alone demon . My independence from the uncomfortable feelings of being alone has helped me see people I may get involved with more clearly .
« Last Edit: March 17, 2010, 09:06:35 am by jg1962 »
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Offline David_CA

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #74 on: March 17, 2010, 09:23:49 am »
I'm going to say this without any ill intent, so take it for how it's meant (helpful). 

Perhaps you need to join something... anything.  A group that goes bowling, gets together for movies, some sort of shared interest (plants and gardening, animals, electronics, etc).  I know that there's a local group of gay guys that do things like get together to eat out, go skating, etc.  Basically, they make a social event.  It works very well.  We haven't officially been to one of their 'gatherings', but we have done things with a large number of the group - roller skating.  Can imagine a bunch of queens in their 30's up to probably late 50's skating with all the teens and pre-teens?  How about the couple skate... what to do?  It was a lot of fun, actually, and very tiring.

Anyway, finding something that causes you to be social will also introduce you to many people - both friends and possibly men to date. 
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Offline Hellraiser

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #75 on: March 17, 2010, 09:57:00 am »
I agree completely with what David said.  Find social venues to do things that aren't bars or the internet.  I find it's actually kind of hard to make new friends as an adult sometimes, because unlike kids we won't just come out and say it.  I'm a little weird so when I meet people whose company I really enjoy I do just say so.

"I like you, you're my new favorite".  Usually people who respond to this kind of oddball chatter are people just like me, so it works out.

Try not to take everything we say as criticism D, we're mostly trying to help in our ways.

Offline Ann

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #76 on: March 17, 2010, 11:39:23 am »
Oh dear. Looks like someone is fishing for compliments and hugs rather than advice.

So what if he is? This place is somewhere to come for support and hugs, as well as information. ::)

D, my phone doesn't ring very often either, but that's probably more because people know I don't like to talk on the phone all that much. When my mates want to get together or come over, they usually text me.

I joined a pool league this year and I've made some new friends through it. Some are the same age as my daughter, some are my age and some are older. It's a mixed league so there's both men and women - about 50/50 on our team. We have a great time together and laugh our asses off. We just had a match last night and it was great fun, even though we got beat. We've actually only won once so far this season, but we don't care, we're in it for the laughs and social aspect, not to win. We meet up at the weekends sometimes too for some practice. But we mainly practice laughing. :D

I was kicking this guy's ass last night - I was down to the black and he still had five balls on the table. Somehow he got me surrounded in a corner and kept snookering me, the bastard. Like ten times. TEN!  When I finally managed to get the black out of the corner, he was able to pot his balls in one turn as they were all sitting on the corner pocket. I screwed up on my shot on the black (in my defence, it wasn't a easy shot) and he potted it on his next go. Boy was I furious! But my team mates rallied 'round and cheered me up with snotty asides about my opponent. ;D We ended up with the whole room in stitches, even the other team. Even my opponent, who was the main butt of the jokes. :D

I guess what I'm saying is I agree with the others about finding some social outlet. If there's no pool league where you're at, there's bound to be a bowling league or softball league or similar. Check it out!

Hang in there buddy.

Ann
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Offline denb45

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Re: lets call it off
« Reply #77 on: March 17, 2010, 12:42:38 pm »
lol, thanks cliff.

if i go to another country hopefully they'll have better health care and i can abandon my debt!!!!

but in alll seriousness i'll take your advice.

best,
d

Hey D let me tell you a thing or 2 I've learned about CC-debt thur the yrs. if you have it GET RID OF IT
and NEVER live above your means, if you live within your means you'll be ok, but if your living above your means your in TROUBLE!  I got rid of all of my debt, I paid it off, it took me about 3 to 5 yrs to, but I did it, and now, instead of giving all my money to the CC-companies, I pay myself every month
I still have all my Credit Cards, but REFUSE to use any of them...the bottom-line here is THIS...why pay interest to a bank just to use there cards, PAY YOURSELF instead  ;)

MODS..... I meant to put this in the     
roommate possibility Thread Please move this over there , I'm having such a Brain-FART-today.. Thanks  ;D

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=31659.0
« Last Edit: March 17, 2010, 12:50:37 pm by denb45 »
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Offline denb45

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #78 on: March 17, 2010, 01:00:30 pm »

i had a cat. i wasnt home enough so i had to put him up for adoption. i was raised as an only child...i spent enough of my time alone and have spent a significant amount of time alone. if i am codependent i am also independent by turn.

D at least you thought about the health & welfare of that Cat, and gave it up to a shelter for adoption
that says a lot about just who you are, and that's a good thing, I commend you for that, but, D, Please don't be so hard on yourself, time heals all honey, and you'll find your way soon enough, your a good person, and I only wish you the very best  ;D
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #79 on: March 17, 2010, 03:20:05 pm »


  Don't want to be a stick in the mud or anything, but there is a good chance that kitty was put to sleep.
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline denb45

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Re: roommate possibility
« Reply #80 on: March 17, 2010, 03:24:31 pm »

  Don't want to be a stick in the mud or anything, but there is a good chance that kitty was put to sleep.
That's possible, if it wasn't adopted  :(
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

 


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