I just found out i was positive on Valentines day

[newlyintexas]

Hey i just found out i was positive on valentines day and i am still in denial and i just keepmon replaying the moment over and over and over and over again and it just saddens me . How do i cope with this...I turn 33 on feb 16 so this who;e week was so ruff and bad for me. I feel nasty, i feel like i will never marry or he kids. I disclosed the information to my family they didnt handle it well, but they didnt get mad they have really been there for support.Any advise i dont go back to the dct till mar 16 on that day ill take more test to find out the status of it, whether i need meds ar not...please ..please help

[mikeyb39]

welcome to the forums,

just take a deep breath and let your doctor do his job.  you will be fine.  What part of texas?  Dallas here.

[newlyintexas]

Thank you Near mesquite ,Texas

[+/-]

I remember a year ago, the GUM clinic called me and asked me to call in because they wanted to speak to me and that was when I got the news that I was positive. That was the 14/02/2011 - V-Day ... I can understand how you feel but all I can say is that by time things will get better.

I had to share my news with my wife who is still NEGATIVE so as you can see you will be able to get married and perhaps in the future have kids like we are planning to do. Do further tests as requested - start meds if the need may be - your goal now is to get your VL undetectable. At the time I was diagnosed, my VL was 29,000 and my CD 4 cells were 255. As from December 2011, my CD 4 cells rose to 455 and my VL was < 20 copies, that is I am undetectable.

If there's the need to start the meds, make sure you'd be adherent and never skip a dose. Meds will keep you living healthy and you'll still be able to continue with you life.

Be well and take care!

[newlyintexas]

Thank you for the encouraging words, that's what i am hoping when i do go back to get tested that, they don't find either , I'm hoping i am wrongly diagnosed, being through God and faith we are heal..But if not i feel like this experience will be a eye opener and testimony to young adults , women and others. God has a way of getting your attention.

Thank you and be blessed.

[MarkB]

Hi newlyintexas

Welcome to the forums: you will find a great deal of information and support here. I'm sure that all of us here can relate to the feeling you have of sadness, and of replaying that moment. Also to the sense of feeling nasty. But you are not nasty: you have a chronic condition which is eminently manageable; and, as others have said already, what has happened doesn't mean that you will never be able to marry or have kids.

I hope I'm not being intrusive, but I'd like to comment on one thing you posted:

I'm hoping i am wrongly diagnosed, being through God and faith we are heal..But if not i feel like this experience will be a eye opener and testimony to young adults , women and others.

I may have misunderstood this, but without in any way wanting to be disrespectful of you or denigrate your deeply-held beliefs, it is important that you reflect on the fact that acts of faith do not heal this condition. I would be sad to think that you were hoping for a cure from God, because experience shows that's just not the way it works.

Also, your comment about what has happened being an eye opener and testimony to others: what do you have in mind here?

Please keep coming back, and don't hesitate to ask any questions, or share any concerns, that you may have. There are some very knowledgeable and supportive people on this site.

Kind thoughts to you.

M

[Ann]

I'm hoping i am wrongly diagnosed,

Welcome to the forums.

How, exactly, were you diagnosed? You should not only have had a positive antibody test, but you also should have had a positive Western Blot. The WB test is needed to confirm any positive antibody test, as false positives can happen but a positive WB rules them out.

If you were diagnosed using only a rapid test with no further testing, there is a chance that you've had a false positive. If you have had further testing, please clarify and let us know.

And I agree with Mark. God has nothing to do with whether or not you've been infected and god certainly can't cure you if you have. It doesn't work like that. The only time god comes into hiv infection is if your faith helps you cope with being positive.

Hiv is just a virus that anyone who has unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse may become infected with. Hiv is not inflicted on some or withheld from others by some judgemental higher power, regardless of what any religious person might tell you.

Ann

[dingowarrior]

Hi,
I have been pos. for 6 years now..Dr. said I've been infected and pos. alot longer when I officially found out..I had jut gotten married,and my wife had just had our first born..Make a long story short,I now have 2 childeren and the same wife and all 3 are negative...Take meds,take care of yourself and you will be just fine.

[MarkB]

Hi newlyintexas

Just to let you know I've been thinking about you and wondering how you are doing. Let us know how the visit to the clinic goes on the 16th.

M

[TexasPOZ]

Hello newlyintexas,
I also live in Texas, and I was diagnosed 4 years ago. It was tough in the beginning, but God got me through it. I'm glad your family is supportive, and I hope you can find a support group in the city where you live. I went to one when I was first diagnosed and it helped a lot. Find out about all the resources available to you and make use of them. I have met some amazing people in this journey, and each and every one of them have helped me get through it. Don't let anyone bring you down, keep a positive attitude, and know that you're not alone.