My story!

[JustAGirl]

I just wanted to share my story with everyone!

A little back ground on me...
I was born in 1978 in Caldwell Idaho I had one older sister Dawn.  Our mother passed away when I was 4 from a heart condition.  We were passed from different families nobody wanted us at 8 the man on my birth certificate informed me he isn't my father! (I don't believe him) At 16 I was pregnant and sent from the home I was at to Boise Idaho to a home and school for pregnant teens. Yes I graduated!!!!!  I was on my own from 16 on looking for love in all the wrong places!!

How I got the news...
In 1998 I met a wonderful man we were married in 2000 we tried getting pregnant for 2 years finally did, miscarried we were going to go in for fertility testing but the day before we were to go in I found out I was pregnant. We were so excited we went in for the first appointment had all the routine work done went home on cloud nine!  Then the call came in my doctor needed to see me ASAP.  So we rushed right in and that is when my life changed forever I was told I was HIV+ my first though is my baby what was I suppose to do.  My doc was awesome she did another test on me and did one on my husband.  We talked and cried for a while and went home. I was in absolute shock this doesn't happen to "normal" people like me this just couldn't be right.  Well the 2nd test came back positive to and the hubby's came back negative. I was asked if I wanted to carry the baby to term and of course I said yes abortion was never an option for me!!! What was suppose to be one of the happiest times of our lives had just turned to one of the scariest. That same week I went to the Ryan White Clinic and got set up with a doctor I had to start taking meds when I was 3 months pregnant that was a nightmare they made me SO sick I was throwing up all the time!

My job...
I was working in a toy store when I found out.  I confided in one girl and come to find out she told everyone in the store. I maybe worked for a month then I quit im not sure the people were being different I just felt like they all looked at me differently so I quit plus with the meds I could of never continued to work!


The baby...
Because of the HIV I had to be induced so I could have my AZT IV so on February 14 2002 I got induced wow what an awful time.  The AZT made me throw up during labor at one point they lost the babies heart beat and I almost had to have a C section but they found it again and I was able to deliver vaginally.  I had Aubrianna Louise about 16 hours later.  I think I though it would be easy after that but the next day we were taught how to administer her meds to her all I could think is I could give this to her how will I live with myself.  The meds were bad but the blood draws were even worse it was so sad and knowing it was being done because of me made it worse she would cry and I would cry. She is 4 now and negative.  When she was 2 months old we ended up pregnant again this time it wasn't so bad we had been through it all he is 3 now and also negative!!!!

How I got HIV...
It didn't take long to figure out who I got HIV from. I went to the Health Department reported everyone I had been with and when I told them they knew the guy and knew he was positive and in trouble for knowingly giving it to women.  Its crazy because I had been with a lot of men and never would I have though he would have been the one.  My husband wanted me to join in on the charges against him but I didn't want to I felt he had taken so much from me already I wasn't about to waste any of my time on him he will get or has already gotten whats coming to him!

Where I am today...
I am in pretty good health I was on meds because I had to have a hysterectomy a couple months ago I am no longer taking them.  The surgery went perfect. I try not to dwell on my condition it use to be that if it even got mentioned I was in tears or a really mean mood but im OK with it I have HIV im still a wonderful person it doesn't define me.  My husband is still negative and I pray he stays that way. I got lucky he has stayed by my side through this all I know he worries about me but I feel like we can get through anything after going through this.
I do take Prozac but I had depression before HIV so its not necessarily for it. I have went to counseling but I feel like im in a good place and I don't really need it they are always amazed at my attitude about HIV I say I have two choices I let it destroy me or I live my life to the fullest I chose to live life to the fullest!!


Im sure I could go on but thats all for now I just wanted everyone to have a little insight to what I have been through sorry its so long I thank you if you took the time to read it!


Tiffany

[Andy Velez]

Thanks and welcome, Tiffany. That's quite a story you've told there.

I'm very happy to read that you were able to have the baby you and your husband wanted and that he's remained sero-negative. There are many, many couples in the same situation and they're having great lives in every way, so you're in good company.

You've had your share of ups and downs which is pretty much par for the course, but it doesn't feel that way when it's happening to you.

You're always welcome here to ask questions as well as to just talk about anything that's on your mind.

Cheers,

[Christine]

Hi Tiffany,
Good to hear your babies are both doing well. My husband is negative also, no kids, but 4 dogs. Welcome to the forums!
Christine

[aztecan]

Howdy Tiffany,
Welcome to the forum and our eclectic family here. You have certainly had your ups and downs.
The fact that you are survivor speaks for itself. I am delighted about your children and think your hubby sounds like a real keeper.

Well, just wanted to say hi. I look forward to hearing more from you. Feel free to come in and rant, rave or share the fun things as well.

HUGS,

Mark

[penguin]

hi Tiffany,

thank you for sharing some of your story and journey with us!

and Aubrianna Louise - what a beautiful name!

take care,
Kate

[catwoman]

Thank you so much for your story.  It gives me hope on the pregnancy front.  The name Aubrianna is beautiful.