POZ Community Forums

Main Forums => I Just Tested Poz => Topic started by: babybear67 on December 05, 2012, 02:49:57 pm

Title: Scared
Post by: babybear67 on December 05, 2012, 02:49:57 pm
I was just diagnosed last month.  My blood work came back and my Dr told me that my T-cell are over 1000 so, no meds right now.  After I was told i went to my partner and told him.  he freaked out and told me to get out, to never return.

Now I'm scared to death to say anything to anyone for the fear of them leaving me also. I have a good friend that we are talking and they want more of a relationship but, there is the status that i need to disclose.  If i do, they may leave. 

 I have told my Dr and they are going to see me and evaluate me for anti-depression.  I have been trying to find support groups but, all i find are counseling center and they want to preach to you.  i do not need that,  i need to find other HIV people in my area.  Its like they are all hiding....  Welcome to the south.

Title: Re: Scared
Post by: jkinatl2 on December 05, 2012, 05:56:22 pm
I was just diagnosed last month.  My blood work came back and my Dr told me that my T-cell are over 1000 so, no meds right now.  After I was told i went to my partner and told him.  he freaked out and told me to get out, to never return.

Now I'm scared to death to say anything to anyone for the fear of them leaving me also. I have a good friend that we are talking and they want more of a relationship but, there is the status that i need to disclose.  If i do, they may leave. 

 I have told my Dr and they are going to see me and evaluate me for anti-depression.  I have been trying to find support groups but, all i find are counseling center and they want to preach to you.  i do not need that,  i need to find other HIV people in my area.  Its like they are all hiding....  Welcome to the south.



Hello, and welcome to the forums! I am sorry you had to find us, but glad you did.

Also sorry to hear about your partner's response. Funny how gay men still manage to lead the charge when it comes to HIV stigma sometimes.

Where in the south are you? I'm in Atlanta, and maybe we can find an ASO and a group that meets nearby. Regardless, this is a safe place to talk about your issues, and you won't find a better informed bunch of people.

Title: Re: Scared
Post by: anmlvrnyc on December 05, 2012, 10:20:56 pm
hey babybear,
i was diagnosed last year and i was afraid of people leaving me too. i still have not told my friends or family yet. i searched for support groups but that didn't help me that much. but i did find some good people all over the country. thank god for the internet. you will find new friends and support. you are certainly not alone.
I had already been on anti depressant when i was diagnosed. i did increase the dose and it helped me calm myself down. 
your CD4 is excellent.
take a deep breath. keep living.
Title: Re: Scared
Post by: tednlou2 on December 05, 2012, 11:20:40 pm
Welcome to the forums, even though I'm sorry you had to find this place.  Your CD4 is great.  I'm sorry to hear about the reaction your partner had.  Man, that just makes things worse.  I can always understand someone not being able to deal with the virus.  I mean, we're all human.  But, being so cruel about it, especially to someone you supposedly love, is just being an asshole.  Even if an infection came from an affair (not suggesting that's the case), I would still hope a partner would at least show compassion, even if it meant an end to the relationship.

It is good you found out what kind of person he is now, even though it was a bad way of finding that out.  This site is a good place to discuss health issues or even just silly stuff.  It is especially good for people who don't have anyone in their "real" life to talk with about HIV. 

I'll look forward to hearing more from you. 

Ted
Title: Re: Scared
Post by: Jmarksto on December 06, 2012, 12:33:29 am
Hey Babybear;  I am sorry you need to be here, but welcome - you found a very supportive place with great information.  I am so sorry that your partner reacted the way he did -- the good news is that HIV is medically manageable and you are going to be fine.  It is good to see that you know that you need support.

Again, welcome and wishing you well,
JM
Title: Re: Scared
Post by: Fisher on December 09, 2012, 05:45:06 pm
Hold on!  Time heals. You are fine. You will settle down and feel better soon.  Give yourself some time!  Absolutely natural to feel scared shitless.  This will pass, and you have your full life ahead of you.