Another Death in My Life...Boring for Most Readers

[Basquo]

I put boring in the title because if you don't know me I'm sorry if this thread took time to load. Time spent waiting on uploads is just a part of life...life birth, and death.

In the last year or so, this makes five deaths of people close or formally close to me.  Make that four deaths of people close to me. And three attended funerals.

I’m back to Austin after burying my grandmother. (This was my mom's mom; the one in 2006 was my dad's mom.) She'd been in a nursing home for 18 months and took very ill 2 weeks ago, and passed away Friday morning. I wasn't expected until Sunday but got a little ill myself and wasn't able to travel until Sunday.  I drove 200+ miles out there that day, fell asleep on a sofa after midnight, got up at 5am and had a horribly sad day with my family. Today I left at 3:30pm with a 6 hour drive home (the funeral was 120 miles further west than where I was staying.)
 
It was way worse than my other Gran's services, because there's way more family on this side. And I was a pallbearer, meaning I had to help carry the coffin here and there. I did mostly good until graveside, when a regionally famous country-western singer sang the same song that he sang at my Granddaddy's funeral at the same place 30 years ago, and then we pallbearers' had to walk along and take our flowers from our lapels and put them on the casket. That's when I lost it. My mom had been the most strong of all the children and she had to hold me once again as if I were a crying child--which is what I was. My sister must have been watching because then my nieces came over to hug me and tell me they loved me. I imagine my backwoods relatives thought I was sad because I didn’t give her any greatgrandchildren, and my cool relatives were glad that I didn’t stress her out with a lot of screaming babies when I did come to visit.

I haven’t had much sleep. My mom and aunt are going 90-to-nothing to keep themselves distracted. The drive home was excrutiating at first, but after a pain pill, then a big coffee, plus the 80-mph speed limit on I-10 kept me awake.  That and my beloved cassettes. I’ll have to convert them whenever I get a new car.

[Matty the Damned]

Creighton,

Please accept my condolences on the death of your Grandmother.

MtD

[Miss Philicia]

Sorry you're going through this Creighton.  It sure sounds like you were close so I know this isn't easy for you.

[Hellraiser]

So sorry to hear you're dealing with this.  My maternal grandmother passed around the same time I was diagnosed, so I've had recent experience with this as well.  I hope you can remember what a wonderful lady she was and not let yourself get too down about her passing.

[darkerpozz]

Creighton,
My heart  goes out to you as I know firsthand of losing family and the pain is HUGE just know(hope) she 's in a better place. I don't envy your pain but some say crying is healing... 

[Angel-Ronnie]

Creighton,
Sorry to hear of your loss and my heart and thoughts are with you and your family.

[BT65]

Cr8on, I'm so sorry about this.  Please be gentle with yourself.

[RapidRod]

Creighton, please accept my condolences.

Rodney

[bocker3]

Creighton,

So sorry for your loss. 
It's clear in your post that hold your family close to your heart.  I'm sure that you grandmother took great pride in seeing the wonderful man you grew up to be.

{{{HUGS}}}

Mike

[Jeff G]

Creighton , sorry for your loss .

[john33]

Creighton,

my condolences to you and your family.

John

[GSOgymrat]

Very sorry to hear of your grandmother's passing.

Ford

[AlanBama]

So sorry about your Grandmother honey.....

May she rest in peace.


The losses never get any easier.....in fact, they seem to hurt more when you get to age 45+, because you tend to dwell on it more (maybe because of less active personal life, in my case....)

My love to you....

Alan

[pozniceguy]

Creighton  , my sincere condolences for this sad event.  death comes to us in many ways and  when it is someone you are close to and love it hits harder than ever..  be strong  ...

Nick

[WillyWump]

My condolences Creighton.

My thoughts are with you.

-Will

[skeebo1969]

   I am so sorry to hear of your loss.  One of the things I hate about getting older is watching those we love pass on.  You have my sincerest condolences and I hope you are OK.

[Jody]

Dear Creighton...I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, I think you felt a closer bond to her than many other folks in your life if I'm not mistaken.  Take care and be well and best to you and Santi.

Jody

[aztecan]

Creighton,

I am very sorry to hear of your loss. Losing someone we care about is never easy.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

SAD HUGS,

Mark

[anniebc]

Dearest Creighton

I'm so sorry to read this...Grandma's are very special people, please know you are in my thoughts.

In sadness
Jan

[Andy Velez]

Hey, Creighton.

Sorry to hear about your loss. What you have to say is not boring. It's a part of life that is to be respected.

Condolences to you, buddy.

[quarterhorsetn]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I have no doubt she was a great lady! I sure love my granny, and at 87, she is still the favorite of all her grandkids.

Brian

[red_Dragon888]

"Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow..."

I hesitate to reply but I feel for you and I do want to say something.  When my father died, I just about went crazy with saddness.  Funny how no one tells you that the older you get the more people you know dies.  And the closer you know them the sadder or worst you feel.  "To each life some rain must fall," but who knew that that rain fall would become a hurricane.  An when my bf died I was mixed for he did things that made me feel he was just a user, but back then I loved him more than life, but now not some much.  But like it or not, a part of me feels the lost of his love.

So, I want to tell you that time will heal your pain, but it wont be easy and the time of tears will come and go.  That is what burden we carry as living beings and that has happened from the beginning "To the last syllable of recorded time."  I remember telling my cousin who mother had just died some years ago that "now you know how your mother felt when her mother died."  I don't know what came over me to tell her such a thing but she found some comfort in it.  I guess the thing is we all are connected in life for the good and the bad.  Look at young children playing and running up and down without a care in the world that one day they may feel grief that life has to offer, but I just watch and try to remember when "life was simple then."

I personally feel that life is not a tale "Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing... ," but a journey that must be taken and is a record of who we are and how we'd lived. 


Take care and all the best.

[Basquo]

Thank you all for your kind words. It means a lot to me! I've been better the last few days.

Red Dragon, I especially appreciate your insights. I totally agree with the part about the older we get, the more our friends and loved ones go before us. I told my sister that at the services, in light of the fact that our grandparents are all passed on now and it's down to our parents, their siblings, our cousins and each other.

Hugs,
cr8on

[komnaes]

Sorry about the news Creighton.

I suppose deaths do get "boring".. I remember a friend told me that between the age of 0-20 we all go to a lot of birthday parties, then between 20-30 a lot weddings. From 35 onward we may have a few more weddings (mostly of second or even third marriages) to go, but from that point on we will find ourselves mostly going to funerals..

But it's never easy to go to love ones' though.

Bug hugs to you, Shaun

[Florida69]

Sorry for you loss, remember we are apart of those that come before us.  Best wishes to you buddy... D