I was very drunk please help

[Abduction2023]

I was diagnosed July 11th with hiv VL 206,000 CB4 384 I was subscribed bitarvy I’ve been taking it for about 4 weeks now but I was blacked out drunk and had unprotected sex I feel horrible about it I’m 30F he is 28M I’m so scared to tell him my status what’s the likely hood he contracted it? I’ve been so depressed drinking my pain away and if I was in my right mind I would have never done that

[Jim Allen]

I’ve been so depressed drinking my pain away

Sorry to hear that you are in pain. Drinking isn't going to resolve it, and all this will do is worsen the situation and the depression.

What does your support network look like?

If I were you, I would talk to your healthcare provider about the depression and the drinking today, see if you can start treatment, and get professional support for the depression, as ignoring this doesn't help. In addition, let your HIV doctor know about the depression, as sometimes HIV meds can worsen depression, although it would be rare with Biktarvy.

I hope you can get help and remember you are not alone, we are here for you.

what’s the likely hood he contracted it?

Besides saying there was a risk, nobody can truly calculate his odds. Statistics on this subject are poor despite them being used as fact and apply to general, not individual, cases, with many individual factors that could influence his risk during an exposure..

I’m so scared to tell him my status

If you can't, then there are other options, like a website that can do it for you; the obvious drawback is if he has only had sex with you, he will still know it's you.
https://tellyourpartner.org

Also, consider getting an STI screening yourself.

I am unsure if HIV exposure or transmission is a criminal offence where you are located. If it is, perhaps speak to a lawyer first. 

[Abduction2023]

Thank you very much I am in the US and it is a criminal offense I contacted my case worker about getting me some help thank you so much for you knowledge and quick reply and also for not judging me

[Jim Allen]

Thank you very much I am in the US and it is a criminal offense I contacted my case worker about getting me some help

You're welcome and I hope your caseworker is able to help.

[Abduction2023]

Just a update I shared my status with him and he still accepts me we are in a committed relationship he has to wait 90 days for a accurate test result but we made him a appointment to get on Prep I couldn’t be more happy as I just knew nobody would want me or accept me he is a amazing man and I feel like the luckiest girl in the world

[Jim Allen]

I'm glad to hear things have worked out, and congrats on the relationship.

we made him a appointment to get on Prep

My only comment would be to ensure the healthcare provider providing PrEP is aware of the last potential exposure so they can test appropriately before starting PrEP to avoid a potentail 'blunted' HIV infection.

[numbersguy82]

Just a update I shared my status with him and he still accepts me we are in a committed relationship he has to wait 90 days for a accurate test result but we made him a appointment to get on Prep I couldn’t be more happy as I just knew nobody would want me or accept me he is a amazing man and I feel like the luckiest girl in the world

Oh wow this is fantastic! Support and acceptance are so vital early on after your diagnosis! Keep your chin up and remember to also take it easy on yourself. You aren’t alone!

[Kirat]

Just a update I shared my status with him and he still accepts me we are in a committed relationship he has to wait 90 days for a accurate test result but we made him a appointment to get on Prep I couldn’t be more happy as I just knew nobody would want me or accept me he is a amazing man and I feel like the luckiest girl in the world

That's very lovely. I'm glad for you. I hope the same happens to me in the future!