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Author Topic: IDK What To Do with Poz Crush  (Read 384 times)

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Offline Kaylajames203

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IDK What To Do with Poz Crush
« on: April 06, 2021, 04:34:35 pm »

I am a 30 y/o male "seeing" an "undetectable" man. I am negative and on prep.

We originally met off of grindr. We had a first date 2 years ago, no sex was involved. And he recently contacted me, out of the blue, via instagram. He told me to come over. We had amazing sex!

And after the sex, I asked him his status. He informed me he is undetectable. I could tell he was preparing for my rejection, but in the end I hopped back in the sac with him.

He stated he wants to see me again. I want to see him again, but it is a lot to handle.

I think he ghosted me 2 years ago because I asked him his status (but I can understand why).

So now I'm in the position of not having anyone to speak to about this.

My issues are: (1) How can I trust that he's taking his medications? (2) Statistically what's the percentage of the HIV population who remains compliant in medication regime? (3) Why is there a push to forgo sero-sorting and the start of U=U?

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: IDK What To Do with Poz Crush
« Reply #1 on: April 06, 2021, 05:12:10 pm »
End of the day, it pains me to say this, but nobody can guarantee he is undetectable and adherent to meds and keeps taking his meds and neither can you. So treat him the same as you should everyone else. Trust & claims don't prevent HIV, so protect yourself - Condoms & keep taking PrEP. 

If it becomes a relationship one day, it becomes more question of trust I suppose, just like every other relationship. My partner trusts me to take my meds etc.

2) https://journals.lww.com/aidsonline/Abstract/9000/Time_spent_with_viral_load_200_copies_mL_in_a.96502.aspx

The result could have been anything, not that it matters if you ask me. There are many reasons for virological failure within such a diverse community. Some of those reasons don't apply to me as individual other might that I can or can't manage. The same goes for this person.

I have not seen any push for serosorting myself in the past 20+ years and neither have I seen a push not to either. Not saying this might not have happened at some stage, perhaps before I was sexually active or not in my region.

Anyhow, TaSP (Treatment as prevention) has been a fact for many years. There is over 22 years worth of data backing it up, the Swiss statement that HIV can't be passed on sexually with a suppressed viral load was 13 years ago, back in 2008. The U=U campaign is just the most recent version/message. It brings peace of mind to people living with HIV and their partners, and I'm glad this current campaign is finally getting attention and educating people. I would not call it a push though either for or against serosorting, it is clear though that serosorting is not the only option in life for people living with HIV. ;)

Here's what you need to know to avoid HIV infection:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, every time, no exceptions. Continue taking PrEP as an additional layer of HIV protection.

Keep in mind that some sexual practices which may be described as ‘safe’ in terms of HIV transmission might still pose a risk for transmission of other STI's, so please do get fully tested regularly routinely.

Also, note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and the only way of knowing is by testing.

Kind regards


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« Last Edit: April 07, 2021, 02:56:55 am by Jim Allen »
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