POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: RONNIE on August 01, 2006, 03:52:03 pm
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Ok, so where do I go from here? I've been reading the posts and trying to learn what this forum is about.
Hopefully I can get loads of info that will help me realize I am not alone and facing this all by myself.
Recently divorced, recently suicidal, (if this is the first 50 yrs I dont know if I want to see the next 50). Doc said at last visit I am virtually undetectable. I just need some uplifting posts to help me see its not all hopeless and lonely.
I hope to talk to people and find out its not a death sentence like I believed before I got here to this forum.
Thanx for allowing me to vent.
VERONICA
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Hi Veronica,
I'm sorry to hear of your diagnosis, but you have come to an excellent place. The aidsmeds family is wonderful! I have learned a lot for sure. It's not the end of the world or your life. Things will change of course but you can still have a life. There are people here that have been HIV positive for over 20 years (20 YEARS) and still going strong. I think that is pretty impressive if you ask me. Also the lessons on this site are great. Very informative and pretty easy to understand. You will be OK. It takes time to absorb everything but it will happen.
I'm also an HIV+ woman. I was diagnosed in 2003. I have an excellent HIV specialist that takes good care of me. My labs are pretty good. And when the time comes there are many HIV medications that work wonders. I know I'm in good hands and that is a comfort for me.
I know that you must have a lot going through your head right now. That is to be expected. It will be OK, you will be OK. If you have an ASO (AIDS Service Organization) in your area, they can help you find a good doc among other services for people like us. Also, the people here are very knowledgeable and will be better at answering questions than myself. Please feel free to come here and vent and ask questions anytime.
Welcome to the family! I look forward to seeing you around. Take care.
Holly
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Hi Ronnie
Welcome to the family.
Coping with divorce and depression as well as everything else can't be an easy thing to deal with...but you have come to the right place and you are certainly not alone, you will find friends, as well as love and support here on the forum, and all the information you need to know about HIV...I found this place in 2003, and I have never looked back, and I have made some amazing friends here who have all helped me through a few hard times.
I hope we will hear more from you.
Hugs
Jan :)
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Bonjour Veronica!
So sorry to hear about your status, your reason for being with us here. But happy to wish you a warm welcome to this community I also recently joined.
I can relate to the separation + hiv news situation you are facing, I went through the same, and I know it is tough. So all I can recommend is: baby steps.
And when feeling panicky or overwhelmed or both ;) what my diving instructor once taught me works: STOP (whatever you are doing) BREATHE (deeply until you start to calm down) THINK (what are your options?) ACT (move on...)
And if you really get into the breathing thing, you can even try meditation :D
Take it one step at a time and come here often; I wish I had found this site 4 years ago as it definitely would have helped me; instead I went around like a headless chicken for way too long. Waste of precious energy...
I hope I will be able to help you the way others here are helping me.
HUGS
Pat
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Hi Veronica,
Welcome to the family! Don't despair, there are many here at the forums who have been positive for a long time. Myself I have been positive for almost ten years, and I am feeling stronger now than I have done in a long time. When I first got my diagnosis I also thought I only had a few years left to live, but luckily time has proved me wrong.
Looking forward to learn to know you better!
Eirin
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Hello Ronnie, and Welcome to our Forum Family!
Me, I'm Single female 52 positive
Forum Member? Since September 2005.
Reaction? I fell in love with the people (our community) head over heels, each and every one.
HIV? Since 1992. I have it, IT DOES NOT HAVE ME.
Other women? Ann, Trish, annibec, Rasheen,Teresa, Lisa (sweetieweasel), Lisa (sdgirl), Nadine, Nancy, Ms S (currently MIA) , purpledragonfly,
swede_dish, Jena, cjc, Regan (cordelia), emeraldize, Melia (sweetasmel), angels4kelly, Pam (drerp), kansanwife, eirin, Christine,
franfrog (currently MIA), and others I am forgetting, (sorry)
YOU ARE NOT ALONE, MY DEAR.
Love,
Zephyr (who lives in the mountains in Northern California)
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Hi Ronnie,
Welcome to the forums. So glad that you found us. There are an amazing group of people here!
I am 48 and HIV-. We found out in May that hubby is HIV+. I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't found this place. I have learned so much here. The most important thing I think I have learned is that our life isn't over. There is life with HIV.
I know how over whelming all this can be. Just remember that we are always here for you!
Hugs
Teresa
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Good stuff here Ronnie
Our aim is true. Welcome aboard!
John
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Welcome, Ronnie. You've come to the right place.
Here is where you can get information and you can talk about anything that's concerning you.
The more you allow people to know you the more informed the responses can be that you'll get.
Do you have a doctor with whom you have you have a good working partnership? That's one of the essentials for staying well.
Anyone who ever promised you that life was easy or that you could to a place where it would all be fine was....misinformed. But the challenges you have to deal with, and I don't mean just about HIV, well I think you will find the company here can be very helpful in getting through.
I'm glad you have found your way here.
Cheers,
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Welcome Ronnie,
You are definitely NOT alone. And HIV/AIDS is NOT a death sentence... plenty of us have been living with HIV for many, many years. Myself -- 17 years. I am 42 years old. Although life is hard enough without the added extras of HIV, you can live the life that YOU want if you give yourself a chance to do just that -- LIVE!
You've come across a great place... the people here are very supportive, caring and extremely knowledgeable about HIV. So ask your questions and we will answer the best that we can. Vent all you want -- we can/will help you through the days because we do understand, we're positive too, and we will never leave you alone to fend for yourself. You will have your ups & downs like a roller coaster ride, but all in all there is life after HIV. Believe in that and the rest will come.
Also, a positive attitude can go a very long way on this journey. I know, I know, easier said than done, but trust me on this one -- try to keep a positive outlook. Don't throw away your dreams, your goals, your desires. I did that
years ago when I was first diagnosed, believing that I would be dead by the age of 30, and I'm still here. Had I known then, what I know today... I would have done things differently. But, at least I'm still here regardless and I can reach for those dreams, goals & desires.
Ronnie, I know you are scared, feeling isolated and confused right now, and this is normal... but in time, those feelings will wane as you educate yourself. One thing though, try not to overload yourself on too much information too quickly. You'll overwhelm yourself. Take it one day, one step at a time -- know/trust that you will live a very long time and we will be here for you no matter what. You will make some great friends here on the forums and I hope to be one of them.
I look forward to getting to know you better, just as I would like to share my life with you...
Wishing you well always,
Trish
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What can I say...? Sorry for your diagnosis but you will start feeling better sooner than later. Listen to the members of this forums and, as Trish says, donīt try to learn too much in little time. You will become crazy. One thing at a time. As time passes and you are more calm you will be able to understand things better.
You are 53 y/o and expected to live 50 more years before you knew you were HIV+...? I donīt think HIV is going to shorten your life but living to the age of 103... proves you are a very optimistic woman, and that is going to help you a lot. I am sure you will be able to reach that age if you want to.
I am 37 and I never expected to live 50 years more even without HIV. I canīt imagine myself at the age of 87. I donīt want to...
Hugs and Kisses.
Juan (Madrid-Spain)
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Hi Veronica,
Welcome! You are not alone. We are here to share your good days and your bad days. I have been + since '93. Most days are pretty good, with a few crappy ones thrown in, but that's life.
Have you been able to see a hiv specialist? Is there an ASO near you? I had a difficult time in the beginning, when I was first diagnosed, and looking back I wished I had went to talk to someone. For the past three years I have been seeing a therapist, and it really helps.
It helped me to do a lot of reading and research on hiv. I also decided to try to eat well, get enough sleep, reduce stress, moderate exercise...really all the things that one is supposed to do to keep healthy.
Hang in there. Take one day at a time- an hour at a time - whatever it takes to get you to the next day. Anything we can help you with, any questions, just ask.
Christine
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HEY ALL..... thanx so much for the warm encouraging response. I apologize for not thanking each and every one of you personally. I am overwhelmed by the diagnoses that I have read. Gee whiz, will I be the one that has the worst case scenario? Sure hope not cuz I need a few years to be around a while longer yet.
I am encouraged by the people that have been positive for so many years.
I do have a specialist, he keeps me informed. I am sorta worried about telling him the Lifestyle I have led. No drugs, just lots of sex parties. Swinger groups to be specific.
So do I tell everyone that I have tested poz, for THEM to get tested or just be celibate, cut myself off from those I knew and let them take their chances?
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Hello Veronica, it is Eldon. As everyone has stated, you have come to the right place for the support and the understanding that you need. Again, Welcome to the family!
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So do I tell everyone that I have tested poz, for THEM to get tested or just be celibate, cut myself off from those I knew and let them take their chances?
Ronnie,
If it was me, I would want anyone that I had unprotected sex with to be notified that they need to be tested.
I'm not sure how they go about notifying people, but surely there is a way that they do it without reveling your status to anyone.
I'm sure that someone here can give your more advice on that.
You hang in there hon. You are going to be fine. When things start to get too over whelming for ya...just take a few deep breaths.
Just remember that we are all here for you!
Hugs
Teresa
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Hi Ronnie,
You are welcome! As you can see, our Forum Family is here for you, for whatever you need.
I would say that honesty is the best policy when discussing your situation with your physician, but I do not believe it's necessary to go 'over-board' when revealing the scenes of the past: the issue now is that you have become infected with the virus, and where do you go from here with that?
Being consistent with your labs and reviewing indicated trends with your viral load (VL), your CD4's (Fighter Cells) and CD8's (The General's) is the best action; educating yourself about the virus is your absolute best defense!
As for disclosure and encouraging people you know to get tested, these are topics all of us deal with in our own time. Only you can say if you are ready for those conversations. Perhaps some time spent with us here in the Living With forum may help you to come to these decisions.
For the time being, I would suggest being easy on yourself, let all of this sink in, and most of all, treat yourself kindly.
Go easy, lady.
My best,
Zephyr