I have been in a relationship for two months now and my girlfriend is HIV positive. I am HIV negative. She doesn't know if she's undetectable yet so she doesn't want us to have sex until she does her blood work. Ever since we started dating, we kissed (French kiss) and kissed each other deeply with the tongue on several occasions. We also frottage without condom, completely naked but without penetration. And she gave me a handjob and a blowjob. And I had oral sex with her and fingered her. I also licked her vaginal fluids, her nipples, her whole body. The problem is that I had bleeding gums and I think she has tooth decay/cavities. I was not worried at first, but for the past few days I have been experiencing sore throat, fever and fatigue. I'm really worried. I took a covid test and it came back negative. I did some research and the more articles I read the more worried I am. Could it be possible that I got infected from the blood in her mouth ( during oral sex) or that her vaginal secretions touched the head of my penis or her vaginal fluids in my mouth ( oral sex). I love her but I'm afraid we did something we shouldn't do.
Also what safe things we can do and things we can't do?
Thank you
Jim Allen:
Hiya,
Congrats on the relationship, and I wish you both the best. Just wondering if your GF is aware you are posting here, and if so, whose idea was it to post here?
Anyhow, so receiving a handjob, blowjob, giving cunnilingus, fingering, and licking her nipples & body.
Receiving a blowjob lacks the conditions required for acquiring HIV; thus, it makes sense that after 40+ years of this pandemic in terms of BJs, there hasn't been a single documented case of HIV transmission to an insertive partner (the person being "sucked"), and you will not be the worlds first. The condition of her teeth make zero difference.
The cunnilingus also isn't an HIV risk to you; for one, the fluid a woman produces when sexually stimulated/excited comes from the Bartholin's glands; this is a lubricating fluid and does not have any more HIV present than other bodily secretions such as saliva, sweat or tears. Saliva, sweat and tears are not infectious fluids, and your bleeding gums make no difference.
Nobody has acquired HIV through fingering, lacks a direct route needed for you to acquire HIV, and as for masturbation, frottage and licking her nipples etc., it just lacks any exposure to viable HIV. Kissing also isn't an HIV risk to you.
In short, I read your post three times, and what you posted here lacks the simultaneous conditions needed for you to acquire HIV, so you did not acquire HIV from the events posted here.
--- Quote ---She doesn't know if she's undetectable yet so she doesn't want us to have sex until she does her blood work. --- End quote ---
So yeah, look, I can't guarantee that someone will take their meds, but once they have a suppressed viral load (below 200 copies) for six+ months and they then continue to take their meds, they can not pass on HIV sexually, even if condomless intercourse does occur; See https://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=71864.0
In the meantime, use condoms for any intercourse as HIV can't pass through an intact latex condom and consider talking to your healthcare provider about PrEP as an additional layer of HIV prevention.
Here's what you need to know to reduce your HIV risks: Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse correctly and consistently, with no exceptions. Consider talking to your healthcare provider about PrEP as an additional layer of protection against HIV
Keep in mind that some sexual practices described as safe in terms of acquiring HIV still pose a risk for other easier-acquired STIs. So please do get tested at least yearly for STIs, including but not limited to HIV, and more frequently if condomless intercourse occurs.
Also, note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms; testing is the only way to know.
Kind regards
Jim
Please Note. As a member of the "Do I have HIV" Forum, you are required to only post in this one thread no matter how long between visits or the subject matter. You can find this thread by going to your profile and selecting show own post, which will take you here. It helps us to help you when you keep all your thoughts or questions in one thread, and it helps other readers to follow the discussion. Any additional threads will be removed
anonymous2023:
--- Quote from: Jim Allen on March 24, 2023, 01:00:32 pm ---Hiya,
Congrats on the relationship, and I wish you both the best. Just wondering if your GF is aware you are posting here, and if so, whose idea was it to post here?
Anyhow, so receiving a handjob, blowjob, giving cunnilingus, fingering, and licking her nipples & body.
Receiving a blowjob lacks the conditions required for acquiring HIV; thus, it makes sense that after 40+ years of this pandemic in terms of BJs, there hasn't been a single documented case of HIV transmission to an insertive partner (the person being "sucked"), and you will not be the worlds first. The condition of her teeth make zero difference.
The cunnilingus also isn't an HIV risk to you; for one, the fluid a woman produces when sexually stimulated/excited comes from the Bartholin's glands; this is a lubricating fluid and does not have any more HIV present than other bodily secretions such as saliva, sweat or tears. Saliva, sweat and tears are not infectious fluids, and your bleeding gums make no difference.
Nobody has acquired HIV through fingering, lacks a direct route needed for you to acquire HIV, and as for masturbation, frottage and licking her nipples etc., it just lacks any exposure to viable HIV. Kissing also isn't an HIV risk to you.
In short, I read your post three times, and what you posted here lacks the simultaneous conditions needed for you to acquire HIV, so you did not acquire HIV from the events posted here.
So yeah, look, I can't guarantee that someone will take their meds, but once they have a suppressed viral load (below 200 copies) for six+ months and they then continue to take their meds, they can not pass on HIV sexually, even if condomless intercourse does occur; See https://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=71864.0
In the meantime, use condoms for any intercourse as HIV can't pass through an intact latex condom and consider talking to your healthcare provider about PrEP as an additional layer of HIV prevention.
Here's what you need to know to reduce your HIV risks: Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse correctly and consistently, with no exceptions. Consider talking to your healthcare provider about PrEP as an additional layer of protection against HIV
Keep in mind that some sexual practices described as safe in terms of acquiring HIV still pose a risk for other easier-acquired STIs. So please do get tested at least yearly for STIs, including but not limited to HIV, and more frequently if condomless intercourse occurs.
Also, note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms; testing is the only way to know.
Kind regards
Jim
Please Note. As a member of the "Do I have HIV" Forum, you are required to only post in this one thread no matter how long between visits or the subject matter. You can find this thread by going to your profile and selecting show own post, which will take you here. It helps us to help you when you keep all your thoughts or questions in one thread, and it helps other readers to follow the discussion. Any additional threads will be removed
--- End quote ---
Thank you Jim. I will!
And no, she doesn't know I'm here. But I know she's used this site, that's why I'm writing anonymously. As I said, I read many articles and I was really worried because the symptoms match the early symptoms of hiv. I haven't had a sore throat for a long time, so I thought that we had done something wrong and I ended up with hiv. I'm less worried now. Thank you for educating me. Wishing you the best!
Jim Allen:
You're welcome.
I hope you don't panic about HIV every time you get a common cold going forward.
Stop googling, had a headache two weeks ago, googled it, and it was a brain tumour. Thankfully it turned out to be a hangover