I must say I have read almost all posts here on the forum and I know the stand on more or less all the topics but I am unconcerned since my life has changed all of a sudden.
Married man but with a turbulent marriage with a hot tempered wife with me being a scumbag husband. Coming to the aspects of risk. Received unprotected BJ from a woman and I am 99% sure I didn't have sex with my wife afterwards but we were in a process of conceiving so I must have had sex the day before or worst case scenario the day of the BJ or the following day. I had read this forum before this unfortunate day hence wasn't worried and my wife conceived. Subsequently almost 45 days later she did ECLIA test along with VDRL and Hep B test - All negative so I was even less worried.
Now coming to the question:
Her platelet count and lympocyctes though bit on lower side but was within normal range but at the time of delivery her platelet count came to 82 and lymp to 21%. Fast forward 8 months her platelet count was 122, lymp 31.7% haemaglobin 10.9 gm/dl. In Sept this year platelet count 96, lymphocyctes 43.2 and Heamaglobin 13.3.
Her platelet count has never crossed in 171 in last 3 years.
Now coming to my question: Is there any chance just in case we had sex after the BJ, could I have infected her with HIV and subsequently to the baby. I know married couple with no protection risk HIV but I am sure I couldn't have gotten it from her since it was strict lockdown era and me receiving the BJ was an aberration given the Covid situation in 2021 March. I know your stand on receiving BJs as well but I was just wondering if this could be one of those asteroid strike situation. Honestly, I never had any seroconversion symptoms within 2-6 weeks after the BJ but I did get a long duration flu about 5 months later.
Our relationship has been difficult but I am certain she never cheated on me and I cheated on her (being scumbag). Also, post delivery I engaged in protected vaginal sex with another CSW and naked frottage with no penetration in June this year but I am not worried about those since I couldn't have infected with my wife or kid since I haven't had sex with her since March,2021.
Sorry, for the long post but hope you can understand the reason behind my worry since I don't want my child to have HIV as he is completely innocent and I don't want god to punish him for my actions.
So major question is like other fools who ask, if she had blood in mouth could I get infected. If I was infected on the day of the BJ (let's assume so in March 2021) could I have enough viral load to infect my wife within 2 days from the new infection?
I am planning to test in 1 week since it will be 90 days from last frottage and how would you rate my chance of being HIV positive? I will be broken if found positive but this will be end of the world if anything happens to my child.
Also, do you know what generation is ECLIA test for HIV1/2 in India i.e., 3rd or 4th generation?
PS: Since we were trying for a baby both me and my wife were confirmed negative before March 2021
Jim Allen:
I was already in bed and just checking my phone before sleep, but I had to get up and open my laptop for this one.
--- Quote ---Married man but with a turbulent marriage with a hot tempered wife with me being a scumbag husband. --- End quote ---
Lucky you, you got a blowjob, god knows what your wife has been doing and last time I checked a blowjob isn't a capital offence in your region.
--- Quote ---Received unprotected BJ from a woman --- End quote ---
Receiving a blowjob lacks the conditions required for acquiring HIV; thus, it makes sense that after 40+ years of this pandemic in terms of BJs, there hasn't been a single documented case of HIV transmission to an insertive partner (the person being "sucked"), and you will not be the worlds first.
In short, you did not acquire HIV from getting your penis sucked! It doesn't matter how guilty you feel.
--- Quote ---Subsequently almost 45 days later she did ECLIA test along with VDRL and Hep B test - All negative so I was even less worried. --- End quote ---
I presume the "she" is your wife. Great, for sure, your wife didn't have HIV three months ago. It doesn't mean much today.
--- Quote ---Now coming to my question: Is there any chance just in case we had sex after the BJ, could I have infected her with HIV and subsequently to the baby. --- End quote ---
You did not acquire HIV from receiving a blowjob. Could you have given her HIV, well sure but not because you got a blowjob from someone.
--- Quote ---#if this could be one of those asteroid strike situation --- End quote ---
No, as meteorites hit the planet all the time. They are unlikely to hit you in the head, but they can, and it does happen, unlike getting HIV from having your penis sucked.
--- Quote ---I know married couple with no protection risk HIV but I am sure I couldn't have gotten it from her since it was strict lockdown era and me receiving the BJ was an aberration given the Covid situation in 2021 March. --- End quote ---
Well, as you already mentioned, condomless intercourse is an HIV risk, and if you could sneak out to have a blowjob, then so could she and more. I presume you are not some nutcase keeping her locked up 24/7 in the basement?
--- Quote ---Also, post delivery I engaged in protected vaginal sex with another CSW and naked frottage with no penetration in June this year but I am not worried about those since I couldn't have infected with my wife or kid since I haven't had sex with her since March,2021. --- End quote ---
Frottage isn't an HIV risk, and there is no reason to stress or test outside of the yearly routine over sex with a condom unless the condom obviously breaks during intercourse.
--- Quote ---Sorry, for the long post but hope you can understand the reason behind my worry since I don't want my child to have HIV as he is completely innocent and I don't want god to punish him for my actions. --- End quote ---
Oh, and I am supposed to be polite to you... So that you know, I have rewritten the reply five times before posting the other versions had a lot of four-letter swear words.
HIV is a virus, we know how it is acquired, there is no mystery, and it is not a punishment from god. I am living with HIV, it's just a virus. "if" there is a god, I am sure they have better things to do than give me a virus, I am just not that important to get this undivided attention, and it would be a very pathetic punishment given the treatments we have nowadays, and I would have to laugh in gods face.
--- Quote ---So major question is like other fools who ask, if she had blood in mouth could I get infected. If I was infected on the day of the BJ --- End quote ---
You did not acquire HIV from the blowjob. End of story.
--- Quote ---I am planning to test in 1 week since it will be 90 days from last frottage and how would you rate my chance of being HIV positive? I will be broken if found positive but this will be end of the world if anything happens to my child.
Also, do you know what generation is ECLIA test for HIV1/2 in India i.e., 3rd or 4th generation?
--- End quote ---
How would I rate your odds? I don't know, you have been engaging in condomless intercourse, and I doubt I am getting the full story of your sexual history, and I am not getting your wife's full sexual history.
You should be testing yearly out of routine and consider using condoms going forward for intercourse if you want to reduce your HIV risk.
As for the 3rd or 4th generation of tests, regardless of it being 3rd or 4th generation, test six weeks post your last potential exposure (Condomless intercourse) with a blood draw (lab) HIV antibody test. The result at this time will rarely change, and retesting at three months generally isn't needed.
Also, consider getting an STI screening for far easier-to-acquire STIs whilst getting tested for HIV.
--- Quote ---PS: Since we were trying for a baby both me and my wife were confirmed negative before March 2021
--- End quote ---
Perfect, and the results mean nothing, except you didn't have HIV back in 2020.
I'll mention the same thing I do whenever anyone mentions being in a relationship. If you engage in condomless sex with your partner, you are obviously at risk of acquiring HIV. In relationships, condomless sex is often based on trust or past test results; however, this does not prevent HIV, so if condomless sex does occur, it's an HIV risk you should consider testing more frequently.
Here's what you need to know to reduce your HIV risks: Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse correctly and consistently, with no exceptions. Consider talking to your healthcare provider about PrEP as an additional layer of protection against HIV
Keep in mind that some sexual practices described as safe in terms of acquiring HIV still pose a risk for other easier acquired STIs. So please do get tested at least yearly for STIs, including but not limited to HIV, and more frequently if condomless intercourse occurs.
Also, note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms, and the only way of knowing is by testing.
Kind regards
Jim
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arbis:
Dear Jim,
I can understand your frustration but let me assure you that there is no reason for me to hide anything about my sexual history when I am seeking your opinion as an expert.
I thank you for your reply and for the sake of full disclosure let me share that I understand the risks with penetrative sex hence I never engaged in penetrative sex with anyone without condoms outside marriage. Only once (as stated earlier in 2022), I engaged in protected vaginal sex with unprotected BJ from the same CSW. I have also had few handjobs (I understand no risk) but all this was in 2022 i.e., after wife's pregnancy i.e., prior to March 2021 incident there was no unprotected BJ as well and I was confirmed HIV negative and so was my wife.
So, if may ask couple of questions (unanswered) from previous post and add one more:
1) If at all I got infected from the (one instance) BJ in March 2021 and engaged in unprotected sex with my wife within in next 2 days could I have enough viral load to infect her? (I know your stand on receiving BJs being safe from HIV perspective but just in case if this was an aberration if you could you share your thoughts). Like I said earlier she got tested for HIV, VDRL, etc within 6 weeks of conception and you said this is unlikely to change but can pregnancy delay antibody response 2) Could HIV infection from me lead to low platelet count in my wife (provided she didn't engage in any unprotected activities by herself - Which I know) within 6 months time since she was on bed rest due to pregnancy complications 3) If my protected vaginal sex with the CSW is of no concern for HIV and it was the only exposure then why do you suggest testing even once on yearly basis. Since I know there was no obvious rip apart in the condom. I know HIV can't go through latex condom then why should one test anyways, if you may help me understand
I humbly request you to please don't get angry with me and please don't ban me.
Jim Allen:
--- Quote ---I can understand your frustration --- End quote ---
No, you don't, but that's okay.
--- Quote ---1) If at all I got infected from the (one instance) BJ in March 2021 and engaged in unprotected sex with my wife within in next 2 days could I have enough viral load to infect her? (I know your stand on receiving BJs being safe from HIV perspective but just in case if this was an aberration if you could you share your thoughts). Like I said earlier she got tested for HIV, VDRL, etc within 6 weeks of conception and you said this is unlikely to change but can pregnancy delay antibody response 2) Could HIV infection from me lead to low platelet count in my wife (provided she didn't engage in any unprotected activities by herself - Which I know) within 6 months time since she was on bed rest due to pregnancy complications 3) If my protected vaginal sex with the CSW is of no concern for HIV and it was the only exposure then why do you suggest testing even once on yearly basis. Since I know there was no obvious rip apart in the condom. I know HIV can't go through latex condom then why should one test anyways, if you may help me understand --- End quote ---
1)
You did not acquire HIV from getting your penis sucked! This has been explained already, don't ask again.
As for your wife, testing is recommended after ten weeks of pregnancy, and I've already explained that unless you keep her chained up 24/7 in a basement, her results mean nothing to you.
If your wife wants to post here about her concerns, exposures and results I would be more than happy to talk to her but I am not going to discuss it further with you.
2)
Same as above really, it's not something I want to discuss with you as it's not your results, however, in brief, HIV can cause low platelets, but there are plenty of other common reasons for lower platelets. It's an issue your wife needs to discuss and work out with her healthcare provider.
3)
This has also been answered in a way.
Anyhow, it's simple, you are sexually active, and as such it's recommended to get an STI screening that includes HIV by default yearly. Even sex with an intact condom can lead to you acquiring infections that, unlike HIV, are spread through skin contact in areas not covered by the condom or through sexual activities that are not HIV concerns.
In addition, as you engage in condomless intercourse, an HIV risk you accept and that's fine but I would recommend you consider screening more frequently to ensure that any infections are picked up and treated early.
Please consider this topic closed! I've given you an assessment and pointed out what your HIV risks are and how to reduce your risks, I don't care if you don't like it and what you choose to do or not do with the information provided is up to you.
arbis:
Dear Jim,
I gathered the courage to test at 13th week (89 days) with a 4th Gen DUO and the result was negative. I tested for Hep C and Hep B 7.5 months after the exposure and the result was negative. My partner tested for HIV DUO too and the result was negative but her blood-work still shows some infections (high ESR) though most of her blood parameters are now better
Can I put my fears behind me and move ahead? Any factor(s) that may cause delayed sero-conversion in your experience?
Kindly share your thoughts. For the sake of full disclosure - No sexual activities with anyone since the last exposure