Being HIV+ and attending Sex Parties. How do we feel about that?

[StuckKidd]

Hey All,

I really am into sex parties. I am HIV+ - undetectable. What are the HIV+ thoughts on Being HIV+ & sex parties?

I am in conflict with being self-conscious. Is there a healthy way to do it?

[Jim Allen]

My two cents for whatever it's worth, living with HIV does not mean having to live a life of celibacy.

If you enjoy sex parties go ahead and enjoy. Do think about safer sex to reduce your risks from other STI's.

I'm no expert on feelings etc, but sounds to me like you might be dealing with some level of internalized stigma surrounded your HIV status. If so perhaps with time it will fade but you could also consider talking to a qualified therapist about it.

[hylas]

U=U so really, you're on the same footing as anyone else there.   

Just remember that your HIV meds wont protect you from all the other nasty bugs out there too and plan accordingly.

[terrymoore]

Hi,
I think this is a good question. When i first got infected, my opinion was very strong - i expected my partners to inform me of their condition. I still feel the same way. I believe that those in the party should be informed of your status and if they are fine, Thein all is good. And as others wrote, be careful not to catch other diseases which can be a huge burden and health risk. Our meds protect us only from HIV, not Syphilis, Hep, Chlamydia, Gonorrhea etc…

[LDN_Otter]

I'm also HIV+ undetectable and love sex parties, but I took a good long break from sex and sex parties when I was diagnosed, obviously I wanted to be undetectable, but even when my HIV was undetectable, I felt awful for touching another man.

I worked with my therapist on my own internalised HIV stigma and issues, and I got back to enjoying sex and sex parties!  I'm always open before sex I'm HIV+ had every reaction under the sun which was hard in the beginning, but I'm used to it now.

It's also very true that my meds won't stop other STIs, and it's always my choice to play safe or bareback!  That self consciousness will fade overtime, for me talking about my HIV with a therapist and close friends helped me.

[Loa111]

With the success of modern treatment U=U, things & laws should evolve to the stage where if one is HIV+, taking meds as they should & U=U then one should not have to tell any sex partner that one is poz....because U=U.