POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Pre-HAART Long-Term Survivors => Topic started by: aztecan on July 08, 2010, 12:09:55 am
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I had my teeth cleaned today, my usual six-month going over. Nothing much to report there.
But, the conversation with the dentist was quite, well, out of the ordinary.
My dentist always asks how I'm doing, how my counts are doing, how I'm doing on my meds, etc. He did this again today, asking whether there had been any regimen changes or other issues.
He usually carries on this somewhat one-sided conversation while he is scraping or polishing or doing something that involves tools and fingers in my mouth.
That is why it is one sided. ;)
But today, after his usual round of questions, he actually sat down and we just talked for a good 20 minutes - but I wasn't the topic of conversation. It was the dentist's brother.
I have known for a long time his brother is both gay and positive.
Well, it seems my dentist and his family attended a family reunion held by his brother and his partner at their home in another state.
The dentist mentioned how his brother has been positive for 15 or so years and has been on meds for about a decade. We never did talk about his partner, so I don't know if the dentist's brother's partner is positive or not.
At any rate, I finally figured out why he was talking about this when the dentist said, "Those HIV meds are not kind to the body, are they?"
Yep, seems his brother, who stated during the reunion he feels great and who is active and living a full life, looks much older than the dentist expected.
His exact words were, "He's not even 50 yet and he look like he's - 60!" ::) :o
The dentist said his wife noticed it as well.
I just agreed and said, "No, the meds are not kind."
But it did leave me with a question. If he thinks this about his brother, does he think the same of me?
I didn't ask. I am not sure I want to know. :-\
HUGS,
Mark
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I can relate to that feeling of wondering how HIV has affected my appearance and being apprehensive of what I might hear if I asked someone .
I did ask my best friend Tim not long ago if I looked like I have had aids for 26 years and I wished I had not asked because I could tell it made him uncomfortable . He was very kind and told me he wished the years were as kind to him as they were to me but I really don't know what he really was thinking and I'm sorry I put him on the spot .
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Mark, I understand how you felt (wondering about the meds and your appearance). One of my older sisters, who lives in Arizona, was just here visiting. She went into my job with me, so I could pick up my paycheck. Now, she's 13 years older. Yesterday, the financial secretary asked me if she was younger or older. :-\ It kind of took me by surprise, and I think she realized that by the look on my face.
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Mark, I am old and I can't tell if the meds had anything to do with it or not. I'm just getting use to the gray hair. One of these days I'm sure I'll revert back to my childhood when I have to wear depends.
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Hey, what's the big deal? I just had one of my closest friends from back in NYC, who hadn't actually seen me much for the past five years but who I saw when I was up there in May, tell me this week on the phone that she was surprised when she saw me that I didn't look very good. Oddly everyone else tells me that I look better now, since five years ago I was down to 142 lbs. She was obviously fixating on my sunken cheeks though she knows my medical situation inside and out, and I've explained lipo to her countless times. She's had cancer in her late 20's and should know better than to make such comments. I was too appalled to read her like I should have.
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Hey, what's the big deal? I just had one of my closest friends from back in NYC, who hadn't actually seen me much for the past five years but who I saw when I was up there in May, tell me this week on the phone that she was surprised when she saw me that I didn't look very good. Oddly everyone else tells me that I look better now, since five years ago I was down to 142 lbs. She was obviously fixating on my sunken cheeks though she knows my medical situation inside and out, and I've explained lipo to her countless times. She's had cancer in her late 20's and should know better than to make such comments. I was too appalled to read her like I should have.
Miss P . It hurts my heart for you to be treated like that and I'm sorry this friend of yours treated you this way .
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Mark, I wouldn't worry too much about any of this, however, I can tell you this, I'm 53, and when I turned
50 3 yrs. ago, I knew I was pretty much invisible at age 50......hell I could run down my street NAKED, and I really don't think anyone would even notice me, of course I wouldn't actually do this, but, I think you get the idea, of what I'm trying to say here, I've stopped worrying about what other people think about how old I may look yrs. ago ;D
Oh and Miss P, rightfully so, you should have READ that queen for being so mean to you, at the very least, they would have known how it made you feel :D
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Getting older does have its advantages .
I like the fact I'm ignored by sulking depressed teenagers so I don't have to deal with they're bullshit .
I like the fact that I can say to young people " just because I said so " and get away with what I want most times .
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I'm just getting use to the gray hair.
ROFL
I came home from the first semester of college to have my mom exclaim "omigod! you're so thin. and omigod! you've got gray hair" :o :o Sure enough. gray strands at 18.
By my early 30's it was very gray and only slightly still brown. Here in my 40s, it's nearly all white - from the top of my head to just below my pierced nipples. But miss clariol fixes the hair on my head, the goatee and stache, and the upper part of my chest hair. Though I might have to start using it on my arms next, as I'm seeing a few white strands on my arms now.
Luckily though, it's summer right now and I can save on the hair color for a while. I just blame the sun and pool chlorine on bleaching out my hair. ;)
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ROFL
I came home from the first semester of college to have my mom exclaim "omigod! you're so thin. and omigod! you've got gray hair" :o :o Sure enough. gray strands at 18.
By my early 30's it was very gray and only slightly still brown. Here in my 40s, it's nearly all white - from the top of my head to just below my pierced nipples. But miss clariol fixes the hair on my head, the goatee and stache, and the upper part of my chest hair. Though I might have to start using it on my arms next, as I'm seeing a few white strands on my arms now.
Luckily though, it's summer right now and I can save on the hair color for a while. I just blame the sun and pool chlorine on bleaching out my hair. ;)
I tried to dye my hair only once and had to replace the toilet lid and bathroom rug because I got dye all over it and the tile floor also . I only have a smidgen of grey on the temple anyway .
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Mark, I wouldn't worry too much about any of this, however, I can tell you this, I'm 53, and when I turned
50 3 yrs. ago, I knew I was pretty much invisible at age 50......hell I could run down my street NAKED, and I really don't think anyone would even notice me, of course I wouldn't actually do this, but, I think you get the idea, of what I'm trying to say here, I've stopped worrying about what other people think about how old I may look yrs. ago ;D
Oh and Miss P, rightfully so, you should have READ that queen for being so mean to you, at the very least, they would have known how it made you feel :D
I can just see you running down the street naked, save with sandals. ;D We must protect our feet from the hot pavement, mustn't we.
I don't mind being ignored. That happened when we were in San Francisco. Alan (Alanbama and I went to the Castro to check out the bars. We could have been naked, doused ourselves with gasoline, set ourselves on fire and then danced the hula in the middle of the room. Nobody would have noticed.
I just hope that I don't look 83 instead of 53. i don't mind looking my age, but I don't want to rush it! ;)
HUGS,
Mark
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I can just see you running down the street naked, save with sandals. ;D We must protect our feet from the hot pavement, mustn't we.
I don't mind being ignored. That happened when we were in San Francisco. Alan (Alanbama and I went to the Castro to check out the bars. We could have been naked, doused ourselves with gasoline, set ourselves on fire and then danced the hula in the middle of the room. Nobody would have noticed.
I just hope that I don't look 83 instead of 53. i don't mind looking my age, but I don't want to rush it! ;)
HUGS,
Mark
Well gee Mark , I swear, you don't look a day over 39 to me, if I saw you naked or fully clothed, I sure
wouldn't ignore you ;D
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Miss P . It hurts my heart for you to be treated like that and I'm sorry this friend of yours treated you this way .
I have thick skin -- when I first got lipo a decade ago some anonymous queen routinely referred to me as the Living Mummy on an old NYC gay web forum. Of course, I'm quite sure I knew who it was and frankly he looked much worse than I ever did. He was trying to be mean, whereas the recent comment from my friend (straight girl) wasn't meant to be harmful, she just wasn't thinking before making the comment, but she does that about lots of things.
Oh, and my first Sculptra injections have FINALLY been scheduled for next month.
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Congrats on getting your sculptra approved and scheduled . I recently met someone who just had it done and they look great .
I have thick skin as well but not when it comes to the people I care about . I wish I was better at sticking up for myself as I am with others .
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The doctor who is doing my Sculptra isn't yet going the Medicare reimbursement route, but is just sticking with the old patient assistance program. I'll only be paying $50 per injection/visit which isn't much more than what a normal co-pay runs these days.
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Everyone gay or straight is invisible after 50 unless someone is trying to sell you Attends, Polygrip or Viagra! I love giving the "stink eye" to those little bastards running through retail stores.
Miss P good luck and results with your upcoming procedure.
Billy
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I had my teeth cleaned today, my usual six-month going over. Nothing much to report there.
But, the conversation with the dentist was quite, well, out of the ordinary.
My dentist always asks how I'm doing, how my counts are doing, how I'm doing on my meds, etc. He did this again today, asking whether there had been any regimen changes or other issues.
He usually carries on this somewhat one-sided conversation while he is scraping or polishing or doing something that involves tools and fingers in my mouth.
That is why it is one sided. ;)
But today, after his usual round of questions, he actually sat down and we just talked for a good 20 minutes - but I wasn't the topic of conversation. It was the dentist's brother.
I have known for a long time his brother is both gay and positive.
Well, it seems my dentist and his family attended a family reunion held by his brother and his partner at their home in another state.
The dentist mentioned how his brother has been positive for 15 or so years and has been on meds for about a decade. We never did talk about his partner, so I don't know if the dentist's brother's partner is positive or not.
At any rate, I finally figured out why he was talking about this when the dentist said, "Those HIV meds are not kind to the body, are they?"
Yep, seems his brother, who stated during the reunion he feels great and who is active and living a full life, looks much older than the dentist expected.
His exact words were, "He's not even 50 yet and he look like he's - 60!" ::) :o
The dentist said his wife noticed it as well.
I just agreed and said, "No, the meds are not kind."
But it did leave me with a question. If he thinks this about his brother, does he think the same of me?
I didn't ask. I am not sure I want to know. :-\
HUGS,
Mark
Mark- It sounds like your dentist is your friend and values your opinion. That is kind of rare these days in the medical profession.
Billy
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I think you look great. How are you dong on your diet?
I am at 254....54 more to go, though I still wonder when they changed the desired weight limit for 6'2" to 200lbs.? (I swear I remember it used to be at least 220-240...though, them I would have have to worry about that memory thing) ;)