magnetic couple

[scaredlover]

Hi,

My partner was diagnosed with HIV december 2014 after donating blood.

Here's the story. The last time we had sex was december 20 2014 and He went to another country for 3 days on 22nd of december the same year for some meeting. He donated blood on 25th and received a call that he tested positive on 30th of december. Imagine my anxiety almost went to the roof. I was afraid to get tested. From that time we never had sex again.

Confirmatory test was done  January 2015. He is confirmed HIV +. Then he admitted that he did something in that country, he said he accidentally got pricked by a drug needle of a friend injecting drugs inside the car. That there was a check point and they got scared and he bravely threw the needle outside and got pricked from there. Well, the was his version. I asked him how certain he was that ge got it from the needle, he said he told the guy whom the needle belonged to that he got positive in an hiv test. The guy got tested and was confirmed to have it as well. I was depressed of this news that I couldn't feel my self sleeping even if my partner told me I did.

And finally I got tested on march 16th and I got a negative result. We promised each other that we will not have sex anymore even if protection is available. We both agreed. Until just this 4th of april, 2015 he gave me a blowjob and I came in his mouth, after which I got scared of the possibilities of me contracting the virus. I read so much on Insertive oral sex contracting HIV and it always says it is impossible unless I was the receptive one.

Shall I get tested again?

[zach]

this post isn't really about your positive loved one, your question is more suited to the "am i" forum

how your partner was infected has nothing to do with your status

you've tested negative, you can follow up at your doctors recommended schedule to confirm that result

if you choose to move forward in the relationship, there is no reason you can't continue to have sex with your partner... use protection. oral is not a risk. unprotected anal and vaginal sex are. don't share needles.

how is your partner doing? coming to grips with a postive diagnosis is a difficult time period.

[xman]

We promised each other that we will not have sex anymore even if protection is available. We both agreed.

sorry to sound harsh but this is the most stupid thing i heard so far in 2015. first this is a kind of promise very difficult to hold indefinitely, second we have some fantastic prevention tools now. available and it is not about only sex with condoms anymore. once your partner starts therapy and takes it diligently and for at least six months he's practically considered uninfectious according to many studies lately published. it is called biomedical prevention and it is the new frontier in preventing transmission. condoms offer an extra layer of protection. until an undetectable viral load they remain imperative.

[Joe K]

sorry to sound harsh but this is the most stupid thing i heard so far in 2015. first this is a kind of promise very difficult to hold indefinitely, second we have some fantastic prevention tools now. available and it is not about only sex with condoms anymore. once your partner starts therapy and takes it diligently and for at least six months he's practically considered uninfectious according to many studies lately published. it is called biomedical prevention and it is the new frontier in preventing transmission. condoms offer an extra layer of protection. until an undetectable viral load they remain imperative.

Xman,

There is no reason to insult any member who is simply seeking information.  Please choose your words more carefully in the future.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Joe

[xman]

OK, sorry. My mistake. My invitation is only to be more educated about HIV in 2015. This illness shouldn't be a barrier to intimacy anymore.

[scaredlover]

Hi guys, no insult taken.
So, am I safe from the insertive incident? Call me clumpsy because of anxiety...

Regarding toothbrushes? I accidentally grabbed my partner's toothbrush tonight at around 6:45 pm.I had it in my mouth around less than 10 seconds and held it and off to the toilet, my partner called my attention that i got the wrong one. I immediately gargled and put ot back. I asked him if he ever got blood in it... It was new from march 19. He said no, and that the bristles are really soft. He last used it 6:00 am before going to work.

Is there a chance I could have contracted the virus? Or am i just putting fears in my mind? Shall i get PEP? Thank you so much.

[zach]

sharing a toothbrush may be a theoretical risk, but so extremely low that i personally wouldn't worry about it at all

what you need to do is wear a condom for all anal and vaginal intercourse. just to be bluntly clear, that means when the penis actually penetrates... not fingers, not toys, not toothbrushes, not oral

thats all you need to do to protect yourself. you should research PrEP as well

sharing a toothbrush, thats just gross though

and again, you don't really seem to be here to talk about your positive loved one, you line of questioning is more suited to the am i forum... the members that are tasked with moderating and answering that board do an excellent job

[zach]

one thing i'll add, xman may not have worded it as nicely as he could... but the message is right

if yall keep that irrational fear based "no sex again even with protection" promise, your relationship probably won't last. instead of taking that drastic nuclear option, educate yourselves

[scaredlover]

Thanks zach... I couldn't enter the forum... I don't have any idea why. Thank you for the response

[Amber34]

I am not really answering your question and yes this post is in the wrong section, but I feel compelled to say something.
His transmission story seems suspect. Maybe it did happen as you said, but have you really explored and talked about it with him? Are you sure he isn't an IV drug user? Are you sure he didn't cheat?
I bring this up because I was infected by someone I had an affair with and I believe continued dishonesty will likely lead to continued high risk behavior because he is not truly confronting what he is doing and why.
Please don't take offense to this, I'm  just concerned for you both.

Amber 

[Joe K]

Scaredlover,

It's obvious that you should not be posting in this forum, as you are here to obtain information on your possible risks alone.  You are welcome to post in the Am I Infected Forum ONLY.  Do not post in any other forum.  You are done in this forum and I am locking this thread.

Joe