anonyme2022:
Hello, I am 22 years old and have been living with HIV for 1 year now. My ex boyfriend is the one who changed my life forever. He gave me HIV and when I found the medicine in his stuff he hit me. He did not care about me and what he did to me. After a year of all this happening, I'm still depressed. And it's hard to take the medicine every morning because it reminds me of what he put me through. Sometimes I want to end my life but I'm scared and I don't have the strength to take action.
leatherman:
Sorry to hear about how you ended up here; but you should find some answers and some support here.
How are you numbers so far? I'm imagining your caught the infection pretty quickly and being on meds now means that HIV didn't have much time to do a lot of damage to your immune system.
Were you able to talk to your ex about this before you broke up? It sounds like HIV might have been new to them too (because after 6 months of being undetectable on meds, a person is no longer able to transmit HIV).
I hope you will look into getting some mental health counseling or support (check with your HIV provider/doctor) to help with the depression. Always try to keep in mind that these days, HIV is a manageable disease. As someone who was infected when they were 23 and will be turning 61 in about two months, my best advice is to just keep taking the daily meds and make sure to live your life to it's fullest. Don't let a stupid disease or a bad boyfriend ruin your life. ;)
Tonny2:
ojo. Hello there!
I’m really sorry you are feeling depressed, we all here have gone to the same situation. I know that it’s easier saying than doing it but, in order for you to restart living your life, you have to turn the page. What your bf did was awful but you need to take responsibility for your acts too. And the best way to learn to live with this virus is to accept that having unorotected sex was a mustake and, try to firgive yourself for that. Don’t get me wrong, as I said, I’m sorry for you being here on this forum, you are now t alone antmire, you can count on us to try to make you feel better by reading our members stories and your can share your here.
About you wanting to kill yourself, us it worthy to do it for this guy?, don’t you have loved ones to think about the pain you would cause them if you were to harm yourself?. You are only 22 years old…why don’t you think when you take your “vitamins “ that, you are lucky that have a med to take everyday to help you keep your dreams alive abd that you will be able to live a normal life instead, I invite you to see your situation as a half ful glass and keep moving forward with your life because se I’m sure your ex is doing the same. Depends where you live, there are laws that penalize what your ex did to you.
We have on these firums, different stories about how some of us acquired the virus, I know of one that, this person, when he got his dx of AUDS he was only 19 years old (tragic) don’t you think so?, but, it doesn’t matter how you acquired it now, what matters is what you are going to do about it, either you want to be a fighter or a victim, i hope you want to keep taking your “vitamin ne” vitamine” everyday and decide, like all if us on these forums, to be a fighter and hopefully, become a better hiv man being and taking better desicion to live a happier life.
Please tell us more about you like, what “vitamine” you are taking, your VL, cd4, and whatever you want to vent.
Wishing you the best and I hope you understand my message because English is my second language and my damn Cell phone is fading on me… I invite you to read some of our stories
Valence:
My sympathies are with you. Your anger towards your ex is understanable. I have similar feeliings.
Re taking your medicine: Be glad medicines are availalbe. When I sero converted, way back in the 1980's, nothing was out there. So many of my contemporaries died a long time ago. Also, be glad that today's meds, for the most part, are free of the manifold toxicities of some of the earlier meds.
anonyme2022:
--- Quote from: leatherman on January 16, 2023, 05:40:11 am ---Sorry to hear about how you ended up here; but you should find some answers and some support here.
How are you numbers so far? I'm imagining your caught the infection pretty quickly and being on meds now means that HIV didn't have much time to do a lot of damage to your immune system.
Were you able to talk to your ex about this before you broke up? It sounds like HIV might have been new to them too (because after 6 months of being undetectable on meds, a person is no longer able to transmit HIV).
I hope you will look into getting some mental health counseling or support (check with your HIV provider/doctor) to help with the depression. Always try to keep in mind that these days, HIV is a manageable disease. As someone who was infected when they were 23 and will be turning 61 in about two months, my best advice is to just keep taking the daily meds and make sure to live your life to it's fullest. Don't let a stupid disease or a bad boyfriend ruin your life. ;)
--- End quote ---
Hello...thank you for your kind words. I don't know about my numbers, the only thing I know is that I am taking Bictarvy. To be honest, when I go to the hospital, my mind goes blind. I don't really listen to what the doctor says...I feel so miserable... To answer your question, when I confronted my ex about the virus, how he knew he had this and he didn't tell me and gave it to me on purpose, he became violent and hit me...I went to the police, he went to jail but got released, however our university expelled him... He doesn't care about me, only himself.
I am trying to work on myself and move on but it's so difficult. I can spend hours crying in my room. I'm scared (I'm scared of what my life will be like with this virus, how people or my family will see me, I'm afraid for my future life, having children and seeing someone again) and I hate myself . I know crying and feeling sorry for myself won't change the past but sometimes I can't help but feel lost....but I do want to overcome this..Can I ask you how is your daily life living with hiv?