Had a date

[klassykitty]

I've had three dates with this guy and tonight I told him about my HIV.  While I didn't get the response that I wanted, I got the response I thought I might get.  Not bad, not good, but middle of the road.  He didn't tell me to leave and not see him again, so that gives me some hope of another date.  We spent the evening watching tv and talking.  He did tell me there would be no sex even with a condom, he's to scared about what could happen to him if it broke.  I can't say I don't blame him there.  Then he asked me if I could have a relationship with him without having "regular sex" (his words) and I said yes. 
I told him if he had any questions to ask, if I didn't know the answer I would get the answer.  We left it at him saying he would "research it on the computer" and we would go from there.
He did tell me that since it was getting late if I wanted to stay the night I could, and sleep in his bed not the sofa.
I do hope he calls back, but we shall see.
Also how do I get cd4 and viral load to show up at the bottom?

[Ann]

Hi Kitty. Yes, his reaction is encouraging. You said he would search the internet for information, but there's a lot of misinformation out there. I'd suggest you send him to the lessons section of this website, and perhaps the Am I Infected forum.

A condom break isn't really that much to worry about. I've been a member here for over ten years now and reading and posting in the Am I forum for all that time and I've yet to see the insertive partner end up positive over a condom break. And correctly used condoms rarely break. RARELY. I've yet to have it happen to me with vaginal intercourse.

Hiv is very difficult to transmit from a woman to a man anyway, and near impossible if the woman is on meds with an undetectable viral load. I was with a negative man for eighteen months before I was diagnosed and we never used condoms during that time. He tested negative, despite having lots and lots of sex with me. You know how the early days of a relationship can be where sex is concerned! We stayed together for a total of eight years (using condoms after my diagnosis) and he was still negative when we split up. He tested when we split up just to make sure.

I'm not sure if you know or not, but giving him a blowjob is absolutely not a risk. Neither is him going down on you. So no worries on the oral sex front. Obviously kissing isn't a risk either.

If you want to put your numbers in your signature line, you do it the same way as you put the "unknown author" quote in it. Go to your profile and look for the "Modify Profile" section of the near-left-hand sidebar. Click on the "Forum Profile Information" link found there. Scroll down to the "Signature" dialogue box and write your numbers down. Don't forget to scroll down a little further and click on the "Change Profile" button when you're finished.

Good luck with the budding relationship. Hope it all goes well.

Ann

[klassykitty]

Thanx Ann.  I'm not undetecable yet   I have a doctors appt next week and nurse vampire will be taking her daily blood from me.  My vl was at 60 last month so it may be undectable now.  I'm he asked me for some websights that he could look on. I gave him this one, body.com, cdc.gov, and the mayo clinic one.  These are the ones that I used to look stuff up at.
Michelle

[Ann]

Michelle, you probably will be undetectable with your next blood draw. Good luck!

I'm glad you gave him reputable websites. There is just soooo much misinformation out there - it's scary. Totally ridiculous too in this day and age.

Again, good luck! Keep us posted.

Ann

[klassykitty]

So last night this guy that I've seen a few times said he wanted to sit down and ask me questions about my HIV .  He also asked me to spend the night,   but I had to tell him no.  I didn't have my medication with me and told him, so he told me to bring it the next time we see eachother.  Although I know nothing will happen it's still nice knowing he's willing to give it a try with me.
 He even asked if he could go to my doctors appt with me and talk to my doctor.  That question just sent my brain into overload and I forgot about the oral sex I was doing.  Don't ask why he chose then to ask, I guess his "brain" was busy and wasn't thinking.
It's funny, he's wanting to find out information, which is more then I can say for my dad or his wife.
Guess there may hope being with this guy.

[Sweet_C]

Sounds like he's a keeper!!  If he weren't in to you he definitely would not be doing all of this!  I'm so excited for you.