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Author Topic: Had unprotected sex, just need some mental help or understanding, please?  (Read 6830 times)

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Offline sivart125

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About 3.5 weeks ago I had unprotected sex twice with a girl of unknown status on a drunken night, I did ejaculate inside of her. I have severe anxiety and haven't been able to do anything since. I'm in a relationship for 3 years so I'm even more scared.
I'm also trying to stop drinking so I feel like I've had symptoms but could also be alcohol withdrawal.
I've had:
1) night sweats 3 times, just clammy not drenching
2) diahhera 3 times, but those days I drank wine or beer and didn't eat
3) nausea and vomitting on 2 mornings
4) had a sore on my lip but I ate something real hot so it could have a burn, went away in 3 days
5) thought I had fever like 5 times, but only once was kinda hot and sweaty for like 3 hrs before Advil kicked in
6) had a sore underarm, thought lymph nodes but my ocd made me touch both armpits and neck all day, so they all have been sore for days now
7) finally woke up one day with a sore bleeding gum

These could be ars, stress, alcohol withdrawal symptoms. I just don't know or where to turn.

Took the oraquick at home test at 15 days and 22 days, both negative. I hope that is some hope?

I know I need to get tested at 4 weeks and 3 months, but please I could really just use some advice so I could go on in life right now.

Thanks to anyone who responds.

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Had unprotected sex, just need some mental help or understanding, please?
« Reply #1 on: September 13, 2016, 01:18:21 pm »
Hi

Look the HIV risk is easy however the symptoms you listed have nothing to do with HIV.

As said the risk is easy to point out you had unprotected intercourse so test, and the guidelines are to test at 6 weeks past any incident and then at 13 weeks to confirm the result. The negative results you have had are reassuring however not conclusive yet. You can read about testing here:HIV Testing

You should not be trying to stop drinking on your own or cold turkey, It does not work that way and to be honest could cause you serious health concerns even leading to death.

Go see a doctor regarding the alcohol and work with them to setup whatever steps you need and support you need to work on your alcohol problem.

Wishing you all the best, now go see a doctor.

Kind regards

Jim

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Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Had unprotected sex, just need some mental help or understanding, please?
« Reply #2 on: September 13, 2016, 01:28:02 pm »
Alcoholics Anonymous World Services
http://www.aa.org

Take a look at the above and talk to your doc (GP) at least.

Jim
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Offline sivart125

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Re: Had unprotected sex, just need some mental help or understanding, please?
« Reply #3 on: September 13, 2016, 01:47:58 pm »
Thanks Jim for helping me on both subjects. In your opinion when you say those tests were reassuring but not conclusive, how conclusive would you say they are. Besides drinking I do eat healthy and work out so pretty healthy male. Might be a stupid question just asking for some hope?

Thanks again

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Had unprotected sex, just need some mental help or understanding, please?
« Reply #4 on: September 13, 2016, 02:50:09 pm »
Negative test results are always encouraging.  The risk from unprotected vaginal or anal intercourse is much greater for the receptive partner than the insertive, so that is in your favor.

Personal opinion? It's only a guess but I expect you to come out of this ok. 

Use some of your waiting time to get some help with the drinking.

And just keep going...

Andy Velez

Offline sivart125

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Re: Had unprotected sex, just need some mental help or understanding, please?
« Reply #5 on: September 13, 2016, 03:04:06 pm »
Thanks for the response Andy.

Can I ask a question, when do hiv antibodies usually start showing up? I'm just trying to stay hopeful!!!

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Had unprotected sex, just need some mental help or understanding, please?
« Reply #6 on: September 13, 2016, 03:39:17 pm »
Let me put the focus in a different light... If you test negative at 6 weeks then in all likelihood you will test negative conclusively at 12 weeks.

Meantime while waiting to test you need to make a real effort to focus on other things in your life.  It will make the waiting time go more easily than you may imagine is possible.  Don't bother telling me you are too worried to do that.  Just do it.  It really works.
Andy Velez

Offline sivart125

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Re: Had unprotected sex, just need some mental help or understanding, please?
« Reply #7 on: September 15, 2016, 11:55:05 am »
When ya'll say 6 weeks and 3 months, are the oralquick at home an ok indicator?
Just trying to keep my mind off this but still worried.

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Had unprotected sex, just need some mental help or understanding, please?
« Reply #8 on: September 15, 2016, 03:06:49 pm »
When ya'll say 6 weeks and 3 months, are the oralquick at home an ok indicator?
Just trying to keep my mind off this but still worried.

Yes, and look stop stressing about it.
Like Andy said try to focus other things and time will pass.

Jim
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Offline sivart125

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Re: Had unprotected sex, just need some mental help or understanding, please?
« Reply #9 on: September 16, 2016, 06:04:19 pm »
Thanks for the answer Jim.

I'm trying to stop stressing, keeping busy and stuff but my anxiety won't let up.

I talked to my Dr. today and I'm gonna give blood in the next 2 weeks.

But I took another oraquick at home test today (4 weeks after exposure), it was negative, so a little less stressed today.


Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Had unprotected sex, just need some mental help or understanding, please?
« Reply #10 on: September 17, 2016, 03:12:43 am »
you're welcome and glad to hear the anxiety is less.

Jim
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Offline sivart125

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Well stupid drunk me came back again, and I had been sober for so long and swore off drinking and doing stupid things.

About 3.5 weeks ago (deja vu of last post). Got drunk and hired a prostitute. We had sex with protection but the condom broke, and I didn't notice til about 3-4 minutes later.

Then we fell asleep and I wake up with her shooting Heroin in my bathroom.
I have been absolutely freaking since and completely on edge.

I have gotten sober again, back in my AA rooms.

The only symptom I have had is fatigue and some mouth ulcers. However, I have been very  very very stressed out.

After all this my ex calls and says she wants to get back together, and I never thought that would happen. This has made me even more petrified cause I have wanted her back so bad.

I took oqrauick at home at 14 and 21 days, both negative. Are these any indication at all I might stay negative? I just need hope.

Please and thanks. I have nobody else to talk to......

Offline Ptrk3

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If you are at all familiar with this forum, you know that the moderators here don't assess perceived symptoms of HIV infection, since symptoms, if they occur at all, vary widely.

You had unprotected sex (presuming you condom did break), which is the fact that matters, so, yes, you are at potential risk for HIV infection.

It's not bad news that you have so far tested negative for HIV antibodies three weeks after potential exposure, but most experts assert that testing should be conducted six weeks after potential exposure, then at 13 weeks after potential exposure for confirmation of the six week results.

It reads, however, that your most pressing need is to attain and maintain sobriety.

I suggest you focus on that (contact your AA sponsor?) as you await conclusive testing for HIV antibodies.

Good luck in resolving your issues.
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Offline sivart125

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I am sorry about starting a new thread and sorry about posting symptoms. I just hoping that those negative results are any indication of my future tests. Going to take my 28 day in 2 days.

I'm doing my AA steps but just can't break the idea of HIV, it is consuming all my free time.

I keep finding this is on the internet, is this a true fact:


Here is a chart with approximate accuracy of HIV antibody testing:

Time Accuracy

2 weeks…………………………50%

3 weeks…………………………75%

4 weeks…………………………95%

6 weeks…………………………99%

3 months…………………….100%

Just wondering? Thanks for responses.

Offline Wade

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Look your negative results are encouraging and speculating on percentages is not going to help you. A negative result at 6 weeks is very rare to change and 13 weeks is conclusive.

That's about the best I can tell you now, and the other mods have given you the same information. Try not to stress and test at 6 weeks.

Wade
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Offline Jim Allen

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Seriously I can see you are hovering and about to post.

Don't do it.  Test at 3 months, it's a confirmed result unless you are immune surpressed like cancer treatment ect. (You're not posting from a hospital bed, are you ?)

I wish you well both on the testing and the drinking, I mean it. Read the thread back from the start.

Jim
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Offline sivart125

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I have read tons and tons of post on here. I understand that 6 weeks and conclusive at 13 weeks is the norm.

But in ya'lls expert experience, like what are chances. I am asking because I do not know. I know its a bigger risk if you share needles, or have unprotected sex, or are the receiver.

But in my case what are the chances of say a one time encounter with a broken condom for lets say 5 minutes with a heroin user (not knowing her status).

And can I ask what are chances after 2/3 weeks of being negative.

I hate to beat a dead horse, and I am sure moderators are asked this stuff over and over again, but I just want (if there is any) clarity.

I ask these things because I am sure there are many people that read these posts and do not type in questions and are going thru similar situations.

I am sorry if I am sounding too anxiety prone, I just don't know and really want to know.

This really is my support group, like an AA group to me.

Thanks

Offline sivart125

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sorry Jim, I read your post after I posted

Offline Jim Allen

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Chances or odds are simply not something we do. Nobody can calculate your chances, at 6 weeks the majority of people would test positive.

So see the 3 months test simply as something to confirm the result you already have.

My advice, until than stop reading or worrying about it, as its pointless and not going to change the end results when you test.

Jim
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Offline sivart125

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Thanks Jim I understand.

Offline Jim Allen

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You're welcome.

Look I understand that you have anxiety at the moment, and I have seen your posts on other sites who will remain nameless, and I can't comment on the context of the other sites posts.

Quote
Got drunk and hired a prostitute. We had sex with protection but the condom broke, and I didn't notice til about 3-4 minutes later.

Then we fell asleep and I wake up with her shooting Heroin in my bathroom.

I will add a few thoughts for you regarding your current situation and what you have posted here so far.

HIV affects people from all walks of life and her shooting heroin means nothing. Stop falling into the idea that people are risks, it simply does not work like that, and this is just adding to your overthinking things and near paranoia regarding HIV.

As Patrick mentioned do contact your AA sponsor, I wish you all the best with this and I know from personal experience how hard it is to not drink. You in part in this situation again due to your drinking and I think you know I do not say that to  judge you.

Take my advice stop googling this, stop posting about it, stop reading about it. Take the time and work with your AA sponsor and simple test as per the guidelines given here.

I suspect from a HIV point of view from this encounter you will be okay when you do test. To be frank I am more concerned with your drinking however I can not help you with that in this setting. In all honesty we can not do much more for you in regards to HIV either, as you have had all the answers we can give you at this time.

Wishing you all the best

Jim
« Last Edit: August 16, 2017, 04:28:28 pm by JimDublin »
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Offline sivart125

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Thanks for the advice. Im going to my nightly AA, and hopefully find some great story to help with my peace.

Offline sivart125

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Just keeping anyone reads this updated on my life/updates.

I took the qraquick at home today 4 weeks, negative.

Some what of an anxiety relief. Waiting on the 6 and 13 weeks, but trying to keep my mind occupied.

Thanks for all the answers, worrying about something you hear so much about in life is just horrible!!!!!!

Offline sivart125

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I need some moderator advise. I absolutely freaked out last night and had dreams about testing positive.

So, I woke up, it felt so real I went and got a oraquick from the store and tested at 31 days, still negative. That is 4 tests now....14,21,28, and 31 days out. ( All should buy stock it that company - insider trading lol)

I still have fatigue and have develeped severe headaches every afternoon.

My question is why do alot of websites say that at 1 month ( 28 days) 95% of infections are postive?

If that is true would Oraquick be a test in those stats?

Also, what are ya'lls thought on the Oraquick, is it really a 2nd generation test? Does that make it not even being close to effective as the 3rd and 4th generation?

Thanks for helping.

Offline Wade

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Guidelines are to test at 6 weeks past exposure and again at 13 to confirm your result. Your negative results thus far are very good news,  A result at six weeks will almost never change.  Do not come back here with any more questions about odds  or percentages.

Wade
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Offline sivart125

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Wade,

I really appreciate your answer and taking time out to respond.

I can also tell though you seem a little irritated with some of my questions. This is understandably so, I expect you see have seen years and years of the same questions. Definition of insanity.

However, I am someone new to these scenarios. I understand 6 and 13 weeks. Just looking for some hope/answers in other avenues. And I value all the mods opinions on here.

Once again thank you though.

Offline Jim Allen

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Its simple 3 months is conclusive no matter what generation of test and that is all that matters.

Like wade said, please don't post again about this as it will unfortunately lead to one of us giving you a temporary ban from the forum.

Jim
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Offline sivart125

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Is there any forum you can ask these questions on poz.com?

Offline Ptrk3

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All of your questions have been asked and answered by the moderators on these forums as reasonably as possible.

If you need further assistance, please seek a healthcare professional for face-to-face interaction.

There is nothing further that can be done for you on this forum at this time.

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Offline sivart125

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Re: Had unprotected sex, just need some mental help or understanding, please?
« Reply #29 on: September 05, 2017, 10:33:05 am »
Well Just checking in I have an appt to get a test this Thursday.

I did an oraquick home test  today at 6 weeks 1 day. This result has really called down my fears.

I just want to ask when ya'll say 6 weeks and 13 weeks is oraquick home test ok?

And I also want to apolize for all the crazy stats and questions, I was just freaking out, but thanks for all ya'll do, it is a miracle.

Thanks again.

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Had unprotected sex, just need some mental help or understanding, please?
« Reply #30 on: September 05, 2017, 10:40:30 am »
Any FDA approved is at 13 weeks considered conculsive

We have asked and answered this question already for you reading back your thread.

Move on with your life, I mean it.
« Last Edit: September 05, 2017, 10:43:00 am by JimDublin »
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