Author Topic: Bah Humbug!!!!! (Read 4715 times)

Queen Tokelove · « **on:** December 08, 2006, 04:09:15 am »

Yep, the Queen needs to vent and big time. I know that I'm probably not the only one who feels this way but December has always been a depressing month for me. At the moment, I have been feeling depressed, The Queen of Positivity has her moments...

One of the reasons it's so hard for me is because on the 21st is my mother's birthday, even though she has been gone for some years now, it still bothers me. I was taken away from my mother at the age of 9 but was blessed to have her come back into my life when I was in my 20's. As I like to say, another story for another time on why I was taken away. But I miss her so much....

The other is the holidays of course. I can't remember the last time I really celebrated the holidays. I've tried to be in the spirit but it just doesn't seem to be working for me. I can't remember the last time I could afford to even buy presents for anyone. I have been told, oh next year will be better.....Not! With what I get for disability, I can't even save for presents because by the time I pay bills etc, I am always flat broke. It really hurts that year after year I can't even afford to buy presents for my son. I feel worthless and lower than low. I know some will say it's the spirit of the holidays that should count but let's be real, with the commercialism of Xmas, there are very few that celebrate it for it's true meaning, most look forward to the presents. My son hasn't said anything but I'm sure he knows I can't afford to buy him anything...

It has gotten to me so much that I haven't really been talking to anyone and even reading some of the holiday posts here have made me teary. I will be glad when it is all over. I guess I will do what I do every year and that is sleep the day away.....

Thanks for letting me vent....

Dachshund · « **Reply #1 on:** December 08, 2006, 08:59:05 am »

Dear Queen, I will not bore you with tiresome bromides. Your feelings about Xmas reflect the reality of millions of people. Your feelings about the holidays are yours to be felt...no matter what Madison Avenue has to say.

Now what are "we" going to do about it? Mind you, this is just a suggestion from your ol' Aunty Doxie...if you choose to stay in bed eating chocolates all day you have my blessing.

How old is your son? I know of several organizations in my area that help po' folks out with gifts for children of parents who need help. Remember pride goeth before a fall so don't be afraid to ask for help. Secondly, and the most important. If you can, get your ass up and go help someone else. If at all possible take your son with you so the little rug-rat learns the true meaning of Christmas. I volunteer at Hope House here in Memphis...a fantastic charity that serves children affected by HIV/aids. We beg, borrow, and steal all year long to make sure our less fortunate kids can enjoy Xmas.

So there you have it girlfriend...there is no panacea for the crass commercialism of Xmas. So if it makes you feel any better...Sam and I will put our heads under the covers with you in a show of solidarity...and silently weep for the nearly three thousand who won't be coming home this Xmas.

p.s. Sam is the one holding the ball...it is Xmas and I must decorate the house. I think the theme this year will be a wiener wonderland.

aztecan · « **Reply #2 on:** December 08, 2006, 09:40:32 am »

Well, Akasha, you already know my feelings about this season.

I am right there with you.

HUGS,

Mark

penguin · « **Reply #3 on:** December 08, 2006, 10:19:07 am »

Hey..

A suggestion, on the present front - an IOU box. You need a small box, & some strips of paper, on each of which you write an IOU for something which involves spending time with the person. Dunno how old yr son is, but could be things like: a pizza & dvd evening; cooking him his favourite dinner; a trip to the park; a picnic; a hug; a video game session… and then he can “redeem” these vouchers throughout the year.

Other than that - as hal says, the volunteering thing can be worth looking into. past few years, I‘ve been helping out at a drop in centre for homeless people, & it seems to make the day a bit more bearable.

big hug, cos it's a horrid time of year, for so many reasons.

Kate

Queen Tokelove · « **Reply #4 on:** December 08, 2006, 01:06:09 pm »

Thanks for the thoughts everyone. My son is 16 yrs old, of course he does not believe in Santa of course, but you know how kids will go over their friends house to see what the other kids has gotten, well even though my son has never said anything to me, it just bothers me, and him being a kid, I know it has to bother him.

I haven't looked into volunteering anywhere, that is a good idea. The IOU thing is a good one too. Hey Auntie Doxie, I don't mind if you and the wiener get under my covers as long as he doesn't try to take a chunk out of me and my pussy(Lucifer)..

And you do have a point about the ones that won't even be home for Xmas, thanks gf, you always seem to put things in perspective, I appreciate that...Much love.....

bear60 · « **Reply #5 on:** December 08, 2006, 01:11:23 pm »

Perspective:
On Dec 30th our friend Jim will have a birthday. Instead, we will be having a memorial celebration of his life.

Javicho · « **Reply #6 on:** December 08, 2006, 01:33:17 pm »

Queen, just think that is many things that you and your son can do, I saw many suggestions above, in my case my family is in my country and my BF don't like Christmas. So what I do is I decorate my house and try to forget about everything that will make me cry, not allways work's but I still love Christmas, like the song say (is the most wonderfull time of the year). You know why, because this is the time that we all think about family, friends and money; yes but you know what; that's why Christmas is for to think about bad and good, happines and sadness and the most important think is that is allways somebody there that is thinking about you

Love, Javier

Longislander · « **Reply #7 on:** December 08, 2006, 02:23:40 pm »

Queen, From what I've read, your son knows your situation well enough. That idea of the IOU box, especially with free hugs in it for whenever he wants/needs one from you, sounds beautiful. And I think your boy is just smart enough to realize how much he means to you.

Paul

ACinKC · « **Reply #8 on:** December 08, 2006, 03:10:35 pm »

LOVE YOU GIRL!!!

Just John · « **Reply #9 on:** December 08, 2006, 06:33:35 pm »

I don't like it either

.

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AlanBama · « **Reply #10 on:** December 08, 2006, 07:53:44 pm »

Michelle, perhaps a nearby church could help you out with gifts for your son? My church sponsors the "Angel Project" each year, and we provide gifts for several kids as well as adults who are mentally disabled. Wouldn't hurt to call around and ask.....

Hugs,

Alan

PS - I know what you mean about being depressed, the $$, etc. I went shopping today; how do you buy presents for a "keeper" boyfriend when you are on disability? Look out charge cards.....

skeebo1969 · « **Reply #11 on:** December 08, 2006, 08:30:08 pm »

Michelle I am in the same boat your in. My fifteen year old was use to getting all kinds of presents from me in the past. For the last two years I have not been able to keep up the trend. It does make the holidays difficult to get through knowing I have disappointed her once again.

Queen Tokelove · « **Reply #12 on:** December 08, 2006, 08:50:49 pm »

Thanks Alan, I will definitely look into it. I have caught one blessing already. I am very blessed to have gained a family like you guys. Today I was given a good dose of perspective (thanks, Dach and Bear), a few act of kindness, and some great advice from friends. I am feeling better already. Much love to you all.....

Eldon · « **Reply #13 on:** December 08, 2006, 09:46:44 pm »

Hey Queen...

True enough this is the season where our emotions become even more so ever tender. With these emotions that you are feeling inside, is a direct result of your true inner desires to have the BEST outcome. When faced with uncontrollable, it does tend to get to you and set off your emotions. The most important thing is that you know deep inside of you that you are doing the BEST that you can do.

As far as your mother, I can certainly understand where you are coming from. In fact, all of us have a place in our hearts for our mothers. After all, if it was not for her enduring the (9) nine months of pregnancy, then we would not exist today. Continue to love your mother.

As far as the cash crunch situation, it can be demotivating at times due to the circumstances. Again, it is your true desire within you to do more. Yes, Christmas had been over-commercialized and very few do take the time out to celebrate its true meaning of the season.

As far as gifts are concerned, the BEST gift that a son could ever have is YOU. You are here in this life for him and YOU are the BEST thing that he could ever have.

TAP into your creative side and see what you can come up with as a gift to your son. In fact, the greatest gift of them all is LOVE.

You are in my thoughts and my prayers this Holiday Season. Do what you can do to make the BEST of the season.

Happy Holidays!

thunter34 · « **Reply #14 on:** December 10, 2006, 04:38:06 pm »

Lady Q, here's a suggestion from me that may or may not help: Search through your purse and receipts and look to see if you have any gift cards or store credits in your possession. I was flat broke a few years back & used that trick to come up with $115 worth of gifts for my ex. I traded out $80 of store credit at Staples for 2 or 3 electronic gadgets. Also used a gift card to get some DVD's and CD's. Just a suggestion for you or anyone else who reads this to think of.

I agree, though: Christmas blows. Blech!

Longislander · « **Reply #15 on:** December 10, 2006, 05:04:26 pm »

Hey there gorgeous,

Christmas has never held any great meaning for me. I've never been able to share the actual holiday with a BF, and so I just walk through it. Someday, I will ( I hope). I love xmas music, and the IDEA of what the holidays are about.

My mom and I just exchange gift cards/checks every year. ( unless my sis comes up with a special idea, then we chip in). Kinda boring stuff.

A couple of years ago, along with my gift card in the mail, came a little tiny gift-wrapped box. It had nothing in it, just a little note attached (from the store). I'm not exactly sure what it says now, ( I have it somewhere) but it was the sweetest thing. And guess what else-a tin of homemade chocolate chip cookies!!!!!! (p.s. I don't remember my mom EVER baking cookies!)

You tell me which gifts I loved the most~

Last year, along with the gift card, I received a really cool scarf, and a pair of lounging pajama pants with poker card stuff all over them!

Guess which gifts meant the most~

I wish you PEACE this holiday season

Love,
Paul

Queen Tokelove · « **Reply #16 on:** December 11, 2006, 01:22:11 am »

Thanks,

I've recently had some blessings come my way...You know who you are and you have my thanks for what you have done for me and my son....

skeebo1969 · « **Reply #17 on:** December 11, 2006, 01:29:47 am »

Awwwwwww that is awesome!! See there, things do have a way of working themselves out!

Maybe you should change the title to "Joy to the World" .... lmao.. just kidding!

Christine · « **Reply #18 on:** December 11, 2006, 03:57:51 pm »

When I think back to my childhood Christmas's, I really can't remember the gifts or the stuff we received. What good memories I have are when my parents would play a game with us, or just spend time with us. It did not happen a lot, and when it did, it was good.

Big hugs to you and your son.

christine

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Author Topic: Bah Humbug!!!!! (Read 4715 times)